Shut Up Minor-Boy!
FlamedraSeer7213
Naruto
Sasu/Saku
Romance/Humor
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto.
NC-17
People are a bit… OOC
FlamedraSeer7213: Let me just warn you, Sasuke gets cut off a lot here.
Pom-Pom: My Hentai Influences have worked on you! Yay me!
FlamedraSeer7213: …I hate you…
Pom-Pom: -smirks-
FlamedraSeer7213: -glares-
"Oh for freaking Hokage's Sake!! Why the hell do I have to help you on my only day off!?" 17 year old Haruno Sakura screamed at no one in particular. "You're annoying, that's why." 16 year old Uchiha Sasuke muttered to himself. "You shut up minor! I am your elder! I am one year older than you!!" She countered, pointing an accusing finger at the Uchiha.
"So what? You're born on March 28th; I'm born on July 23rd. One simple message, I DON'T CARE." He replied, as nonchalant as always. Sakura smacked her head; her mission was with this… this… this… dude!! Sure, sure, she had a crush on him, but now, she just didn't care.
"Shut up Minor." She muttered. "I heard that Haruno." "Yeah? Well I wanted you to hear that Minor!" "For last time, I am not a minor!"
"Are so!"
"Are not!"
"Are so!"
"Are not!"
"Are so!"
"Are not!"
"Are so!"
"Are not!"
This kid walked by and screamed at them, "SHUT UP!" Causing them to blink. "What in Asgard's sake were we doing Haruno?" "I thought you were the great 'Uchiha Prodigy' Minor." "For the last effing time, I am not-!" Haruno, I mean Sakura waved her hand. "Whatever, lets just get ready for the mission."
Sasuke blinked, "Did she just cut me off!? No one cuts off an Uc-!" "Are you done thinking to yourself yet?" Sasuke's face started to flush with anger, "She cut off my thoughts! Dammit! Since when could sh-!?" "Yo, minor." Finally getting fed up, Sasuke turned to her and roared, "WHAT!?" Sakura coughed, "Two things, one, get ready for the mission, we're leaving soon. Two, get yourself some freaking breath mints! What'd you have, garlic!?"
"I'll admit two things to myself now." Sasuke thought to himself as he walked towards his house. "One, this new Sakura seems to be more confident. …And it annoys me." He smirked before thinking the next thing, "Two, I like it."
Sakura was mumbling to herself, "If I thought I had a thought I thought I had a thought I thought I thought I had a thought and then I thought I had another thought and-" "What are you doing Haruno?" Sasuke asked, unsure if she was sane. She turned to him, looking confused, "If I thought I gave you a cookie and you I thought I had a cookie, does that make Ramen eat Naruto?" Sasuke stuttered and shuddered at the same time, "Wha-What!?"
"Oh good, I thought I was the only one who didn't understand that." Sasuke twitched. "Haruno, are you okay?" She nodded, "I'm okie-dokie, Sasuke-kunny-wunny-su!" For the second time that day, Sasuke twitched… and questioned Sakura's sanity. "…Whatever. Let's just go…" He muttered.
Two Hours Later
"…Hey, Minor-boy." Sasuke twitched at his new annoying nickname, "What the hell do you want Haruno?" He asked, glaring at her. "Let's play a game." Sasuke smacked his forehead, "Play a game? Sakura, we are on a mission! We had to compl-!" "I know that already. I'm just bored."
"Did you just cu-?"
"Yes I just cut you off."
"Why did you do ag-!?"
"I know what you're going to say Minor-boy."
"Don't
call me "Min-!"
"I can do what ever I want! Watch this!"
(Those of you familiar with Family Guy. You must have heard this
before.)
With that said, she flicked dirt at Sasuke… into his hair. The Uchiha was irked… very irked. He picked up Sakura by her shoulders and shook her like a rag doll. "What in Uchiwas sake did you do that for!?"
"I did it so I cou-"
"Urusai yo!"
"Shut up Chicken-Haired Minor-boy!!"
"Freaky Super Strength Pink Hair!!"
"Emo 'I Hate The World' Minor-Boy!"
"Weak!"
"Self-Absorbed!"
"Annoying!"
"Teme!"
"Sexy!"
"What did you say Sasuke-kun?"
"No! I mean- gah! …SLOW!"
Sakura grabbed Sasuke and was about to beat the living daylights out of him until Sasuke put a finger to her lips. "Shushy! Someone's here." Sasuke twitched at himself as he remembered what he said, "Shushy? Am I going insane!?"
Five seconds passed before, a rock flew out of the woods.
Dodge
More rocks
More Dodges
A Spork
A twitch and a dodge
A dead squirrel
Sakura shrieks and a dodge
A banana cream pie
A splut and Sasuke muttering "Pies"
A cell phone
"Were cells invented yet!?" and a dodge
A fan girl
Sasuke's shriek of horror (yes a shriek)
Getting tired of this, Sakura threw a kunai into the woods. A shadow started appearing.
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
Silence as a leaf blows by.
"GROUP HUG!!"
An Hour Later…
Sasuke gasped, for air. Sakura already passed out and was currently being carried by a very tired Sasuke. He plopped down near a tree and thought about what happened.
Flashback
"Hello Sasuke! You here for the training of Youthfulness?" Sasuke twitched, "Why?" Lee pounded his chest and winced when it hurt. "I am here to get students for Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
The sounds of crying and hugging and a very loud, "MAY THE YOUTHFULNESS OF YOUTH FLOW THROUGH YOUR SPIRIT!!"
Sasuke twitched again. 'Are they still obsessed with 'Youthfulness'?' He asked himself, already knowing the answer. Huffing, he pointed at an unconscious Sakura on the ground. "I'm going to have to report you guys to the Hokage, you nearly killed my partner."
"Oh no! We must escape!!"
"Yes Gai-sensei, we must!"
"Oh Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!!"
"Let us run! To run in the setting sun! To not mess up our hair!"
"Yes Gai-sensei! I will help you achieve the power of youthfulness!!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Would you leave already!?!?"
Sasuke angrily asked the two of them, multiple pulsing veins placed all over his head, holding up a fist and prepared to even use the Chidori to make them leave.
"No!"
"We must finish our talk about Youthfulness first!"
"Would you KINDLY take your leave…?" Sasuke asked through clenched teeth, the familiar seal starting to cover his left half. Once again he was greeted with the same sayings.
Starting to get very tired, Sasuke sighed. He ran towards them and smacked them all in the face.
"Oh and SCREW YOU AND YOUR STUPID YOUTHFULNESS!!" He screamed at the flying figures.
He cursed at the sky when he heard Gai scream "Bursting with youth!" back at him.
End Flashback
"Whoever knew they were such idiots?" Sasuke thought to himself as he picked up Sakura again and started up the mountain again. He stopped walking when Sakura started to move.
Only to nearly fall when Sakura held him in a death grip.
"Oh my god!! Is that you, Sasuke-kun!? I wuv you!!" She squealed into his already hurting ear and latched on even tighter, if that was possible.
Meanwhile, Sasuke was trying very hard not to pass out from the lack of air. "Sa-Sakura… let… go… windpipe… choking…!" He managed to gasp out while turning a very nice shade of blue.
Only to be latched on even tighter.
Finally passing out from the lack of air, he was mistaken to be dead. Sakura made a coffin appear and buried the Uchiha.
This led to the ear splitting screaming and yelling that erupted in the forest the next morning.
"HARUNO!! WHY DID YOU BURY ME WHEN I WAS STILL ALIVE!?" He screamed, stuck in the coffin underground. "SECOND, WHY DID YOU TIE ME DOWN TO THE COFFIN!?" He screamed again, tied to the bottom of the coffin with Chakra Strings.
"I'm sorry, Minor-boy. Where are you?"
There was a moment of silence before a snarl rose from the coffin and banging ensured.
"FOR THE LAST TIME, MY NAME ISN'T 'MINOR-BOY'!! For your information, I am turning 17 in two more days! So you're not my elder, Haru-!"
"Whatever, just where are you?"
"YOU CUT ME OFF AGAIN!!"
"I don't want to hear you rant! Remember that last time you ranted over the cookie in my living room!?"
"I don't have time for that! I'm running out of air in this stupid coffin and I want out!"
"…You're hopeless, Minor-boy."
"I am not 'Minor-boy'!!"
"Fine, prove it and I'll call you Uchiha, or even perhaps Sasuke-kun again!"
"…"
"What's that? Speak up! Neko-chan got your tongue?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Fine… just you wait!"
"Whatcha going to do? Run away again?"
The splintering of wood was apparent as an angry Uchiha appeared in the ground like an angry banshee.
"Sakura…" He muttered dangerously.
She started backing up and stuttered, trying futilely to calm down the seemingly angry Uchiha in front of her.
Of course, anger was not in his dark onyx eyes as he started to walk closer to Sakura. She started backing up.
"Itadakimasu…" Sasuke whispered softly, but just loud enough for Sakura to hear. Taking out a kunai, Sakura held it in her finger, ready to attack when suddenly Sasuke lunged forward and…
…crushed his lips brutally on hers.
She let out a gasp of surprise and he took his opportunity to force his tongue into her mouth. She dropped the kunai and wrapped her arms around him, trying to deepen the kiss. He pulled away.
"Still Minor-Boy?" He asked, smirking. She was shocked for a minute, before her mouth curled into a smirk very similar to Sasuke's and opened her mouth to speak.