Rory took a deep breath as she entered the archaic gates of her former high school. She looked at the banner that was stretched out over her head welcoming back the class of 2003 after 15 years.

She let out the air from her lungs trying to relax her body.

She really didn't have a clue as to why she decided to come here. She had, after all, missed the 5 and the 10 year reunions and kept in touch with virtually no one from that period of her life. She now tried to identify the reason why she decided on taking a long weekend trip down to visit her parents and subsequently show up for her class reunion in an uncomfortable black dress and even more uncomfortable stilettos.

There was absolutely none that came to her mind.

She stood aside as the steady flow of guests brushed past her and she squinted as she tried to identify some of the faces, familiar and oddly changed at the same time.

She mused over the fact how old some of them seemed. She wondered for a second whether she seemed that old also, at age 33. She certainly didn't feel that way.

What's more than that, she once again felt like a teenager, seemingly invisible and in a corner not quite knowing what the heck she was doing here.

She spotted the welcoming table with badges of names and reluctantly walked in that direction. She let her eyes glide over the name tags.

"My god, Rory Hayden, look at you!" she heard a shrieking voice and she stared terrified at the girl sitting behind the desk desperately trying to identify her.

"You look stunning!" the girl enthused and picked up Rory's name tag handing it to her.

"Here you go. It has your maiden name, although we all know what you last name is now" the girl winked and Rory blushed slightly.

"I use my maiden name, so it doesn't matter" she mumbled and looked away embarrassed. She hated when people reminded her of who she ended up marrying. She knew it was a society topic, whispered about endlessly in ballrooms and social gatherings. But to her, that's not what it meant. To her it was a marriage of love, after years of being together and growing together and finding comfort and support in one another. The fact that their union happened to be the merging of some of the most elite families was a tiny detail.

She glanced over the rest of the name tags, feeling uncomfortable and dying to escape the expectant gaze of the still unidentified ex-classmate.

Her heart suddenly skipped a beat as her eyes came to rest on a couple of name tags.

Michael Downer. Jessica Dubson. David Duncan.

There was a pang of void suddenly. As that line seemed to miss a name.

She squinted her eyes.

She hadn't thought of him in... well, she couldn't even recall when she had last thought of him.

She turned to walk inside the hall ignoring the grinning girl, immersed in thought.

When had it been?

She smiled suddenly realizing.

It had been a couple of years ago.

She remembered now, the morning when she was late from the unveiling of the new headquarter building of her husband's publishing company in Los Angeles. She ran down the street pulling along her daughter, Lola, who was just 5 back then, the cab having dropped them off at the wrong intersection. They had just arrived that morning having flown down from New York, where they lived.
She turned the corner looking back at Lola who was giggling uncontrollably enjoying the warm breeze blowing through her beautiful blond locks.

When she looked up, her heart seemed to stop beating and her feet seemed to be fixed into the ground.

There, in front of her stood the new headquarter building, in glass and metal, the lines of the walls surging in a painfully familiar manner. She remembered that design. It had been burnt into her memory and suddenly she didn't see the outlines of the building, she saw the fluctuating lines of a drawing done years and years ago by a boy she managed to forget.

She didn't remember how long it took her to get her composure back together. Certainly long enough for Lola to get inpatient, pulling her stubbornly towards the amazing feat of architecture.

She entered the unveiling ceremony lightheaded looking around the crowd nervously during the speeches.

He wasn't there.

She later found out the building had been designed by a team of young architects up in Boston, a relatively small and unknown firm that had managed to gain recognition in the few years of their existence thanks to their brave new designs.

Her husband went on and on about how great the building turned out and her heart raced for two days straight when they were down there.

He ended up doing architecture after all.

She sighed again, shaking the memories and thoughts clouding her head. She looked up, her eyes focusing on the swirling sea of old classmates inside the huge hall decorated especially for the reunion.

It didn't matter. He would certainly not be here. He didn't graduate with them, after all. And she had seen no name tag. She closed her eyes and sighed, burying the memories back where they belonged, into some silent corner of her mind.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She felt dizzy, her head hurting from the pointless conversations she had for the past hour. She slipped out of the huge room and walked down the silent hall, her footsteps echoing. She noticed the open door at the end of the deserted hallway and slipped out, the familiar route all too vivid in her memories.

She smiled a faint smile as she made her way toward the bleachers, her hills digging into the soft muddy ground.

There they stood, ever the same, quiet and inviting, a peaceful place amidst the insanity.

She reached the side of the stands and turned the corner, stopping dead in her tracks as she noticed the lone figure sitting on the lowest row.

She felt paralysed as she watched the man turn towards her, blue eyes meeting blue.

"Tristan" she whispered and watched as he stood up awkwardly, his black shirt clinging tight to his body. Her eyes traced his form, studying every detail.

He has changed and yet looked the same.

His face seemed older, more worn perhaps, but his eyes were as brilliant as ever. His hair short and in order, a stark contrast to the mess he used to carry on top of his head. His body was lean, but more muscular than she remembered, and suddenly the fading picture in her head seemed like that of such a young boy, contrasting the grown man she was looking at.

"Rory" she heard his voice, the same as she remembered it, if a slight bit deeper, and saw a faint smile cross his face.

She walked up to him, not able to hide her surprise, her eyes falling on his jacket tossed carelessly over the seats, with the missing name tag secured onto them.

"Wow" was all she managed coming to stand in front of him.

"I-I" she mumbled, not knowing what to say.

"Avoiding the crowd again?" he asked, his voice frustratingly calm.

She looked up, her face probably questioning, her brows furrowed.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, managing to regain her composure.

He sighed, looking down and once again taking a seat on the bleachers.

"I get invited to the reunions" he offered.

Rory stared at him wondering if he really thought that was enough of an explanation.

As if he sensed her thoughts, he took the fancy bottle of beer that was sitting next to him and took a sip while he mumbled.

"I come to them all. Then usually end up out here"

She just stared at him. He was looking out over the dark football field perhaps not daring to look up at her.

She sat down next to him and looked out over the field as well, her mind racing with thoughts. She mused for a second over the fact that feelings and doubts buried under years and years of another life can surface so quickly.

"You look..." he started glancing her way "you look really good" he managed to finish and she noticed him staring at the ring on her finger.

She moved her hands covering the dazzling jewel, once again self-conscious. She remembered getting that ring and being overwhelmed and shocked at the same time. She never quite knew how to handle being complemented on it.

She unconsciously found his hands with her eyes, looking for a ring.

Once again, as if he could read her mind, he raised both his hands spreading his fingers with a smirk.

"No ring" he said, his voice sarcastic.

She looked away, blushing furiously.

There was an uncomfortable silence as he took another sip from his beer, the warm summer breeze blowing through the trees standing next to the bleachers.

"So you've been to all of them?" she asked suddenly, not able to look at him and staring into the distance instead.

He turned to her, not understanding.

"The reunions" she clarified.

He smirked.

"Yeah" he mumbled.

"What for?" she asked turning towards him.

He looked into her eyes and she held his gaze for the first time that evening needing to know his answer.

He was the one to look away now, his hand rubbing his eyes.

He didn't answer and it seemed so familiar to her, him avoiding things that she would have liked to have voiced.

"I don't know, I guess Hartford is pretty boring, I need all the social events I can get" he mumbled chuckling.

The unavoidable joke to make the conversation lighter, she thought.

"I thought you lived in Boston" she stated and he looked at her in shock, his eyes narrowing, as if trying to guess how she knew.

"I moved back a little while ago" he said unsurely, still obviously trying to see into her head.

She shrugged slightly, looking out over the field again.

"You did the design for that building in LA for my husband" she stated calmly and noticed him release the air he seemed to be holding in.

"Yeah..." he mumbled, his voice affected for the first time during their talk.

"You recognized that?" he asked.

"I remembered that drawing I found in your room. It was the same building" she stated. "Nice touch" she added, her voice a bit too sarcastic.

"I didn't know you two were... married... until... it wasn't intentional, trust me" he mumbled.

"It's a beautiful building, Tristan. I am proud of you" she said, not wanting to hear explanations.

He sighed.

"I guess you were right about architecture" he said quietly.

She got up suddenly, too frustrated with the conversation. She stepped off the bleachers, walking up and down on the sidelines of the field as he watched.

"You okay?" he asked and it was such a flashback from their first meeting out here over 15 years ago.

"No, Tristan, I am not" she yelled "What are you doing here?" she asked facing him.

He looked at her as if he decided to stop avoiding the real questions.

"I guess I wanted to see if you came or not" he said, his voice once again as calm as possible.

"What the hell for?" she asked, her face feeling warm and flushed.

"Just to see how you were doing. To see if it was all worth it" he said.

She felt her anger boil over inside of her.

"You went 15 years without giving a crap about how I was doing, Tristan. I think it's a bit pretentious to say you care now" she said, trying to keep her voice under control.

He looked at her face, as if contemplating what to say, as if he were deciding on whether to share something with her. She had a strange feeling like he had the answers to all her questions that she's never managed to answer all these years.

"I was a messed up kid, Rory..." he started.

"Oh my god, Tristan, don't you dare try to rationalize why you went away and never bothered to explain why" she shot back.

"I was a messed up kid and I made a decision to fix my life..." he went on, ignoring her protests.

"I am not listening to this" she said frustrated, covering her ears.

"I didn't think I could do it with drugs or could do it leaning on someone else. I needed to do it my own way, by pulling myself out of that hole. Military school helped with that. I had something to focus on... and I guess my father was right about some things as well. I needed discipline"

"That's great Tristan. That's really great. That you could go and save yourself on your own. And prove to yourself what everyone else knew about you. That you are someone. That you are capable of great things. Good for you" she shot, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Too bad you managed to hurt everyone who ever cared for you in the process" she shot and was instantly hit with the silence of the bleachers.

He looked at her, then dropped his gaze sighing.

"I'm sorry" he said, after a long time, and so quietly she wasn't even sure she heard it right.

"The route doesn't matter, just the endpoint" he mumbled.

She furrowed her brows and turned to walk away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She parked her car in front of her parents' house and got out, her mind still overclouded with thoughts. She walked up the lawn and looked up as she heard the front door open.

"Hey big sis, how was the shindig at the hellhole?" she heard Matt ask.

She found herself smiling as she looked at her brother. He looked so much like their dad, the same mischief in his eyes.

"Stop pretending, I know you're gonna miss that place. And this as well" she scolded him, her mind suddenly clear of all worries.

"Na-ah. I am psyched to get out of here, are you crazy? This house makes me feel like I am part of the Brady bunch. What's with the constant need for procreation with our parents?" he smiled and pulled his sister into a hug.

She frowned being reminded of the fact she now had 4 siblings and her daughter actually had an aunt that was only two years older than Lola.

"College is going to be great. All the freedom I want, none of the crazy mother stuff" he chuckled.

"Oh, you love the crazy mother stuff!" she looked up with wide eyes.

"Yeah, well major holidays with said crazy mother and likewise crazy sisters are going to suffice my craving for female craziness, the rest of the time I am planing on relaxing at UCLA"

"You are so going to be crawling back here to Yale" she pointed a finger at her and he chuckled.

"Let it go sis, I can't follow in your footsteps forever" he smiled.

She smiled as well, feeling a pang of hurt for having him move halfway across the country.

"I am going to miss you" she groaned, buryin her head in his hold.

"You can come visit me. Mom has been freaking me out with chances of monthly trips down to visit me. She will probably do it to, so you can just tag along" he laughed.

"You know she does everything out of love, right? Even if you feel like you want to kill her for some things, she just does it out of love" she said.

"I know" he chuckled.

"Where are you off to this late, anyways?" she asked with mock concern.

He chuckled again.

"Just hanging out with the guys before everyone takes off for college" he explained "I am late already, so I'm gonna go" he pointed towards the car.

"You'll tell me about the Chilton absurdity tomorrow?" he said as he walked towards his car.

"Yeah, sure" she said smiling "drive safely" she added.

He turned back winking.

"Okay, mom"

She watched smiling as he took off and turned to walk into the house that was quiet despite it's many residents. She realized how late it really was.

She crept towards the guestroom and opened the door quietly, the hallway light filling the room with a dim light. She leaned against the doorway and studied the room. She looked at the bed, her husband's sleeping form hugging their little girl. She smiled involuntarily. Lola had a habit of begging her way into her parents' bed when she couldn't sleep and being her daddy's little girl, she was seldom denied.

It was a pretty picture and she suddenly felt calm. She might have been insecure about a lot of things in her life. About how her career was going, about whether she was judged by her actual capabilities and not just by the names that she possessed, about how she managed as a society figure. But she was never insecure when it came to her family. This seemed right. She closed the door smiling and looked at the empty hallway of her parents' house. Her gaze rested on the door of the closet and she suddenly furrowed her brows walking towards it.

She opened the door and studied the closet crammed with coats and sports supplies and boxes. Her gaze came to rest on a small box on the top shelf and she fished it out from under several other ones. She closed the closet door and walked towards the living room, kicking off her shoes on her way.

She sat down on the sofa, tucking her feet underneath her and opened the box, taking a deep breath.

She took out the contents one by one. The rumpled drawing of a lighthouse. And another one of her on the bleachers. A picture of her and Tristan, young and careless on a bed covered with a pink quilt. Another one of them kissing, the camera slightly out of focus. Some rocks from the lake.

And that was pretty much it.

All the tokens she had from that whole relationship.

Her mind was buzzing with thoughts now.

Was it really all? All she had left from that? And the knowledge that after sixteen years, she still didn't have reasons or explanations. That maybe there weren't any. Maybe she was just left behind and not thought of anymore.

"Hun, what are you doing up?" she was startled by her mother's voice.

She looked up at her, trying to focus on her figure and watched as she came walking up to her.

Lorelai looked at the pictures and drawings laid out in front of her on the couch and something seemed to flash in her eyes.

"Tristan was there" Rory said, her voice small, quiet.

Her mother sat down at the foot of the couch, studying the pieces of paper, not looking up at her.

"Wow" was all she managed, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat "How is he?"

Rory shrugged.

"Great, I guess. He is an architect. Living in Hartford" she scoffed "He seemed great. Calm. Happy almost. Or certainly at peace" she continued, her voice rising.

Her mother listened to her in silence.

"I guess he got over it all. Got himself together. Managed to get his life together on his own" she added.

"You seem bitter" Lorelai remarked cautiously.

"I just don't get it" Rory said "I still don't get how he could just leave and never even think about me anymore" she got up walking up and down in the room.

Lorelai watched with concern.

"You don't know what he went through, Rory, you can't assume that's how it happened"

"He left and I never heard from him, mom" she said stopping and turning to face her "how can I not assume that? It's not like anyone forced him to not contact me" she scoffed.

Lorelai dropped her gaze and Rory felt her heartbeat race up.

"Mom?" she said, an uneasy feeling taking a hold of her.

She suddenly felt weak, collapsing into the armchair across from her mother.

"Mom" she whispered and watched as her mother rubbed her eyes in frustration.

"Why is this important, Rory?" she asked frustrated "You are happy. And balanced. You've been fine for more than ten years. You are married, you are all happy, you have a beautiful child. What does it matter anymore?" she asked, her voice shaky.

Rory stared at her.

"You sent him away" she whispered, the realization slowly dawning on her.

Her mother looked at her in silence, her eyes shining with a sort of determination she knew her to have at times it was needed.

She gasped and fell back into the armchair, her head buzzing with thoughts.

It all seemed to make sense now.

She looked at her mother, the two of them staring at each other, two identical sets of blue eyes shining in the dark.

She suddenly got up and walked towards the door finding her shoes on the way.

"What are you doing, Rory?" she heard her mother come after her.

"I need to talk to him" she said, trying to strap on her hills.

"You can't, Rory" her mother reached out to touch her arm.

"I need to know" she turned back to look at her.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Rory, your life is here" she said pointing a hand towards the guestroom.

"I. Need. To know" she said and walked out of the house.

"Where are you going? You don't even know where to find him" her mother said walking out onto the porch as she watched Rory walk towards her car, not bothering to turn back or answer her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She drove through the dark roads, her heart beating fast and her mind heavy with thoughts. She wasn't sure about anything anymore. She didn't know what was real and what was just an illusion in her head. All she knew is that she had to find out. And that if it was meant to be, she would find him, like he found him in the first place.

She turned onto the road leading to the lake, the trees silent in the darkness. She found her way back here without a problem, after not having been here for more than ten years. She watched surprised as instead of a dirt road, she found a graveled driveway. She parked the car and got out, walking towards where she knew the shore would come into view, right behind some trees.

She gasped and felt her legs go numb, her figure frozen onto her spot as she glanced at a house standing in the place where there used to be nothing but the shore. It was a beautiful house, with large windows facing towards the lake and a deck going around it and reaching out over the water.

She walked towards it, her heart beating wildly. She came around to the side, seeing the deck continuing into a landing stage out over the water.

She was just a couple of feet away, shielded by some bushes as she saw the glass door open. Tristan walked out onto the deck, dressed casually and she suddenly realized she was still in her dinner dress and hills.

He looked out towards the landing stage and narrowed his eyes smiling slightly.

"What are you doing out here, Nora?" he asked, his voice warm, affectionate and Rory involuntarily turned towards where he was looking at.

She gasped as she saw a little girl, hunched over the water.

"I am looking at the fishies" she answered, turning around with a wide smile.

Rory's heart seemed to stop. The little girl was beautiful, with eyes such a stormy blue that there was no denying who her father was.

"Baby, it's late, what did I tell you about coming out here at night?" Tristan asked, his voice scolding and forgiving at the same time.

"Just for a little while, daddy" the little girl pleaded and Tristan sat down next to her, his feet dangling off the deck, pulling the girl into his lap.

She giggled in delight and he kissed the top of her head, embracing her in a hug as she leaned forward to look down onto the water.

"How was the renewion?" she asked.

"Reunion" he corrected "it was fine baby"

"Are the fishes never asleep?" she asked.

"Not if you wake them up by looming over them" he chuckled.

"I just sit really quietly. I didn't throw in rocks or nothing" she explained.

He smiled again, holding onto her as she seemed to lean out so far that she was virtually suspended over the water.

She finally settled back into his lap and sighed, the two of them sitting in silence looking out over the water.

"What is it, baby?" he asked, his voice low.

"Nothin" she shrugged.

"You sure? You are awfully quiet" he asked playfully.

"You said I talk constantly and it drives you nuts" she shrugged.

He laughed out and the little girl chuckled as well.

"You can talk all you want" Tristan said, effortlessly lifting the little girl to face him.

"Now tell me what's bothering you"

She stared at him for a long second as if contemplating whether to tell him or not.

"Dorothy Parker said that I didn't have a mommy because she didn't want me in the first place and she left me behind"

Tristan took a deep breath and tucked some strands of hair away from the little girl's face.

"Nora" he sighed.

"It's true, isn't it?" she asked.

He rested his forehead against hers.

"I don't know, baby. I don't know how your mother feels" he replied sighing "All I know is that I am here and I want you and the rest doesn't matter"

There was a moment of silence, then the little girl giggled.

"Good. That's what I told Dorothy Parker" she said.

Tristan chuckled and pulled her into a strong hug, groaning.

"I love you so much" he said.

"I love you too daddy" she replied.

He stood up quickly walking back towards the house.

"No, daddy, just a little more! I wanna say goodnight to the fishes!" the little girl protested, kicking in his arms, but he chuckled tossing her over his shoulder.

"You'll tell them tomorrow Nora, it's way past your bedtime"

Rory watched as the glass door slipped shut and the house went dark.

She felt dizzy, like she had just found the last missing puzzle to clarity, like it all had just fallen into place.

She walked back towards her car, her legs carrying her despite the lack of strength she felt.

She sat in her car and stared in front of herself for long minutes.

All the things she found out tonight, all the pictures, the recalled memories, questions and answers swirled in her mind.

Suddenly it all became clear. She heard Tristan's voice, from years ago.

"I believe that every person finds the place where they should be. It's like entropy. Or gravity. You come to rest in the position that you were meant to be in. It's like water, finding it's way through the cracks to fill up that hole that it was meant to. And it really doesn't matter how you got there, the way you got there is beside the point, because in the end it didn't make a difference. So really, there is no wrong or right decisions. Every decision just moves you forward"

She started the car and drove back to her parents' house in silence, her mind a blank, her body feeling spent, yet comfortable. She got out of the car and walked into the quiet house, not bothering to undress or go to the bathroom.

She crept into the guestroom, finding her husband and her daughter in the same position she left them only an hour ago. She slipped into the bed, sliding up against his back, her arm going around him to caress Lola's face. She closed her eyes feeling the warmness. The calmness. The peace.

As she drifted off to a deep sleep, she had some strange feeling of closure and certainty. The way you only feel when everything's in its right place.