Hee. Originally, this wasn't supposed to be this long of an update. But it is. And it's coming pretty soon after the last one (Gasp, collective thud as readers fall over, face in the keyboard). Anyway, I told you I'd have more time.

Okay, so here's my confession. I'm in love with this chapter. It is my favorite. Because it is…so many things. Stuff happens (to quote Shonda). One reviewer asked for more MerDer, and that made me happy because when I read this, I was halfway through this chapter, and there is lots of MerDer. There is nothing but Mer/Der.

So please read it. And review it. Oh, and enjoy it. Also, the song it's named after is one I've been listening to over and over lately, and is just the prettiest thing ever. And reminds me of Meredith and Derek back in the angsty days. Well, anytime. You guys should check it out.

Chapter Seven: Best I'll Ever Be

I miss you
I miss being overwhelmed by you
And I need rescue
I think I'm fading away
But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear
I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

Can't keep my hands from shaking
Stumbling through the wreckage again
But you're gone

Best I'll Ever Be, Sister Hazel

Derek

There aren't many places she would go on her own. Meredith's predictable when it comes to places she frequents. And I try a lot of places. When I call Alex he says she's not at her house or at Finn's. He says Izzie was able to get away from the hospital to go wait at home.

I go to Joe's and tell him to have her call me if she comes in. I go to the docks, hoping vainly she'll be sitting on one of the benches we used to frequent, watching the ferries. I go by her mother's home, even, like part of me still thinks that woman on the phone was lying.

None of this makes sense. Why would she call in to the hospital and say something happened with her mother when nothing had? I push away the terrifying thought that Finn had been lying that he really had done something to her. The thing is, though, I can tell when people lie. And Finn may be good at shifting into that phony, bullshit nice guy mode, but there is no way he could have been faking that rage earlier. No way.

Which is something, at least. That Meredith isn't with him yet.

I close my eyes briefly, frustrated because I'm still driving, but I no longer have a destination. I can't think of one anymore.

I know Meredith. I should be able to figure out what was going on in her head, I'd just talked to her last night…

Then the conversation comes floating back to me. How scared she'd been, not for herself, but for me. It had broken my heart to think that she'd been dealing with him and all the fear and loneliness for so long and yet it was concern for me that made her break down. I've been putting Meredith first this whole time; now, it turns out she's doing the same for me.

As I'm thinking about this, something else she said comes back to me; something the day after I'd found out, when we'd been talking about it in the locker room at the hospital. I'm not sure why it occurs to me; it's like my mind just knows what I need.

The only thing I can come up with is leaving town, and that's…that's just letting him take even more than he has, any more than he could.

Then, she had thought that wasn't worth the sacrifice…sacrificing everything she still loved to protect herself. But now, she isn't protecting just herself.

She's protecting me.

What if…what if this has made Meredith decide that was worth the sacrifice?

Immediately, I know this is right. Because it would be worth it to me.

She's left town. There's no longer a question. I just know. And I can stop driving aimlessly around Seattle and head out of town. There are so many ways she could have gone out, but something instinctual has taken over the driving, directional part. I'm hoping that somehow, this strange instinct will lead me to Meredith.

Using speakerphone, I dial Alex, tell him she's left town and that I'm sure, and when he asks which direction I'm heading, I'm able to tell him with no hesitation. I don't know what part of my brain is making these decisions, but I'm hoping it comes from something bigger than a blind guess.

After hanging up, assured to know Alex is heading the opposite direction to look. He also said something about finding out if O'Malley is one a case, and he tells me Cristina's been calling Meredith every few minutes. I'm grateful for the help of her friends; I know they'll probably be in trouble, especially Alex and Izzie, who'd left in the middle of a shift without a word to Dr. Bailey.

I sigh, wishing that Meredith hadn't been so scared of opening up to them. But remembering the fear in voice just at the thought of Finn doing something to me…I can see why she wouldn't.

As I drive down the interstate, I decide that Meredith would probably want to get at least an hour away for now. I decide to drive for about that long, then start checking hotels. We'd talked on the phone really late…she probably wouldn't have gone too far.

I hope.

Please, God don't let her be too far.

I hate feeling ineffectual, hate being in a car and just having to wait to get to her. I let go of the wheel with one hand (I've had it in almost a death grip) and dial my cell phone. Her number, one last time. This time, I leave a voice mail.

"Mer? It's me. Listen, I know by now you've seen you have about a hundred missed calls but…this is important. Please. Please call me. I need to know you're safe. Something happened. It's my fault. I'm so sorry…but he's looking for you. I am, too…I need to get to you first and it'll be okay. Trust me. Don't worry about me, just….just call. Please. I need to know you're okay. Please." I sigh, wanting to say more. "I love you." I hang up the phone, not feeling much better, because the truth is, after the multiple missed calls from Cristina and I, and probably Alex and Izzie, too, there's no way she wouldn't have called if she had her phone.

The problem with driving is you have nothing to do but think. And what I'm thinking about isn't something I want to be thinking about. Because what if Finn has figured this out, too. Figured out that she's running away from him. What if he gets to her first?

To my annoyance, the road becomes blurry through the windshield and I have to blink back tears.

She's fine. Meredith, my Meredith, is fine.

Yet I can't shake that same overwhelming feeling of helplessness.

After an hour of driving, I trust my instincts again on where to exit the interstate and begin looking for hotels.

There are two across the street from each other and I pull up to the first one I come to and enter the lobby, trying to control my ragged breathing when I approach the front desk. There's a feeling in the pit of stomach that I can't explain, and somehow I don't really believe this is the right place. That would be too easy.

The too-pleasant lady at the front desk smiles at me. "Can I help you, sir?" Her chirpy voice grates on my nerves.

"Yes, um, could you ring Meredith Grey's room for me?"

"Grey? One moment." There's the soft click clacking of a keyboard, and her eyebrows knit in confusion. "I'm sorry, sir, we don't have anyone checked in under that name."

My heart sinks, but I'm not at all surprised. This hadn't felt right. It would have been too easy.

"Oh, okay. Thank you." I turn, trying to shake it off. It would have been stupid to think I would find her in the first hotel.

I walk out to the parking lot and groan, with a sudden realization. I should have known; her car isn't here. It will save time, obviously, to just check hotel parking lots rather then approaching every single front desk, yet I know I will still go inside. There's always the chance she didn't bring her car.

I don't even know where these incoherent thoughts are coming from, but the hotel across the street has a parking deck so I park in one of the nearer spots and don't bother scanning the lot for her car. I just go in the hotel, toward the desk. I still don't have the best feeling about it.

Another perky woman. Another apologetic look when they tell me no one by the name of Meredith Grey has checked in.

My shoulders slump dejectedly when I walk out to the car again. It's only the second hotel. It would have been too easy to find her there, in the second hotel.

XXXXXXX

It would have been too easy. The seventh hotel. The seventh out of so many that she could have possibly stopped in.

But I feel sick, because my stupid impulses have not led me to Meredith yet, and I can no longer ignore the distinct possibility that we are taking routes that are not even remotely similar. Worse, Finn could be behind her.

It had started raining somewhere between the third and fourth hotel and I'm soaked from continuously getting in and out of the car and walking across parking lots.

I'm doubting my stupid impulses.

What if she's not even in a hotel? What if she's stopped somewhere to eat, or a rest stop, or…let's face it, what if I'm wrong about the whole running away thing and we missed her all morning in Seattle, and now she's with Finn and he's-

No. She's fine.

I don't understand why she won't answer the phone. Why she keeps it turned off. Probably doesn't want to know Finn's looking for her.

But what about me?

The eighth hotel is staring me in the face soon, so I pull over and park, but I sit in the parking lot for awhile, because I don't see her car. Sure, I am not in viewing distance of every parking space. But I don't see her car.

I feel stupid.

Finally, I drag myself from the car and into the hotel. There's a line at the hotel desk this time, and I wait in it dejectedly, absently rubbing my right hand through my damp hair.

When I finally step up to the eighth hotel desk, face to face with the eighth perky woman (What is it with them?), my voice is dull and no longer full of the false confidence that said I have no reason to doubt the guest I'm asking for is actually here. "Can you ring Meredith Grey, please?"

"Grey…" There's the click-clacking on the eighth keyboard. Then the woman looks up at me. "Do you want to give her a message or do you need to speak to her?"

My head snaps up and I know my expression of utter astonishment must look extremely idiotic. My heart is pounding, each beat reverberating throughout my entire body, which had previously been slumped limply on the counter and is suddenly straightening up. "You…you mean she's staying here? Really? Meredith Grey?" I'm leaning forward eagerly.

Perky woman number eight is definitely a little worried now. She turns her head nervously, then eyes the bellhops at the front doors at the hotel, probably calculating how long it will take them to jump to her defense and wrestle me to the ground if I go crazy.

"Yes…."

"What's her room number?" I blurt out, and the woman looks even more uneasy.

"I can't really give that out…"

"Okay, just call her…call her, I'll talk…"

She nods, forcing a smile, perkiness draining quickly. She walks a little way down the desk and picks up a telephone connected to the desk in some way, dialing before handing it to me. "It's ringing her room…" On the other end of the line, it rings four times without an answer, then cuts off.

There's no longer a line at the counter, and I wave my hand at the woman. "Excuse me, are you sure you dialed right?" It's not all surprising that Meredith wouldn't answer, but I need to ask.

She turns, looking extremely edgy to see me still standing here. "Was there a problem, sir?"

I try to shoot her a winning smile, but I'm borderline hysterical now. "She didn't answer. Can you check the room number again?"

Probably about two seconds away from calling a nice, burly luggage handler or someone to stand behind the desk with her, Not So Perky Woman punches a few keys on the keyboard and grabs the phone, dialing while staring at the computer screen. She hands me the phone again, and this time, she stands watching as I listen to four rings. I hand it back to her. "She's not there." I sigh. "Listen, if you could please just give me a room number…"

"I really can't, sir, I'm not-" There's a voice calling from the office behind the desk and, looking extremely grateful, the woman quickly says. "I'm sorry, I've got to go…" She backs away and disappears into the office with an expression of panic that I would find funny if it were any other situation.

I moan softly to myself. Then I glimpse the computer and realize that the last time the woman had touched it, it had been looking up Meredith's room number. Not even bothering with subtlety, I hurry behind the desk and fix my eyes on the computer screen, and as soon as they've landed on the list of names, I zero in on Meredith's.

Room 437.

Moving from behind the desk, I go to the elevator, moving on autopilot. I press the four.

Please let her be there. Please.

I usually like elevators. But an elevator ride has never taken so damn long in my life.

Then I'm on the fourth floor, and I'm reading the tiny little directional signs that tell you which way to find each room. It takes me a moment to figure out which way to go; I can't process anything right now. So then there's a hallway, and I'm running down it.

Why are hotel hallways so dark?

437. It says so right on the door. It's her. I put hand on the door, then finally, I make myself knock, I'd been in such a hurry, but it takes a lot of effort for me to knock on the door. Because part of me is scared that it won't be so easy as Meredith, perfectly okay, opening the door. Because who's to say Finn isn't here already? Who's to say she hasn't already left? Who's to…

The door swings open, her expression already one of shock. My entire body weakens, and I just stare at her. She really is fine. There's a gash on her face, the corner of her right eye, probably something he'd done last night in his rage against me. But for once I can't stir up any feelings of hatred for Finn. I can only look at her.

She wraps her tiny fingers around my wrist and pulls me into the hotel room and closes the door, her face still shocked. "Derek what…how did you find me?"

"Don't know." I answer softly, my voice sounding like it's floating from somewhere far away.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

My mouth twists a little and that same strange voice comes out. "I am now. Mer, Finn was looking for you at the hospital…" My voice is scratchy and rough, on top of the fact that it's jumping all over the place. "He asked where you were…I was worried because you weren't there."

Guilt overtakes her gorgeous features and she protests, "I left a message with the Chief so you wouldn't worry-"

"I know, but he was in surgery, and he didn't tell…Mer, I thought he'd hurt you. I asked him what the hell he'd done to you this time…" My expression twists in agony, and fear flashes in Meredith's eyes but she stays silent. "He's looking for you, now. He said I'd be sorry…he said we would both be sorry…" My voice finally falters and cracks. "I was so scared…"

All the terror I've been feeling, the knowledge of why exactly she'd come here, combined with relief of seeing in front of me, actually fulfilling my mantra about her being fine, the one I'd never really believed, well…it's hit me in an instant

My first instinct is to be embarrassed by the tears that have overflowed my eyes and are flowing down my cheeks, but my throat tightens and chokes me, my body beginning to shudder violently with hard, silent sobs. I pull Meredith close to me, holding her tightly for a moment, and then pushing back just enough so I can look at her through the shield of tears.

"Derek…" She whispers, her voice is soft and comforting and a little surprised; she's never seen me breakdown. I've always been strong for her.

I bend my head low, pressing the top into her shoulder, against her chest, letting myself cry like I haven't cried in many years. Because all of it, the worry, the fear, the guilt…all of it is weighing too heavily now.

Her hands caress my hair, and I hear her murmuring my name softly, over and over, her chin pressed lightly on top of my head. Finally, I move my head up to look at her, and she's crying, too; much more controlled then I am; tears are simply coursing down her cheeks, and she gazes at me, seemingly oblivious to them.

She reaches up and cradles my face with her tiny hands. "Derek, don't….don't do this, it's okay. Look at me, I'm fine. I'm sorry I worried you." Her eyes are so broken for me.

"I know. It's okay. I know why you left." Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "For me. Right?"

She looks only a little surprised that I guessed, and then she nods. "I don't want him to hurt you, Derek."

My lips curve into a tiny smile. "I don't want him to hurt you. Not again, not anymore. It's been too much already…" My voice is quavering again, and when she speaks hers has a catch in it, too.

"No, none of that. You can't, because then I will…" Her hands are still cupping my face, and now she slowly moves her fingers enough to clear away the tears. Responding, I reach up and do the same for her.

Meredith pulls me down a little and rests her forehead against mine, so our eyes and lips are inches apart. "I really, really love you, Derek."

"I love you, too. More than anything." I move forward, closing the small gap that's keeping us apart and kiss her intensely. I'd forgotten that it's been so long since we've done this, and am instantly reminded how incredibly perfect her mouth feels against mine, how much I love her taste…I keep my left hand against her cheek but move the right one up, moving it through her hair. She also moves a hand from my face and caresses my neck gently.

The last thing I want to do is break that kiss, but something occurs to me, something I'd wanted to tell her this morning…in fact, it had been my only motive in finding her, which seems ridiculous after the panic of the last few hours. "Mer…" I murmur against her mouth. "Meredith…." Then I pull back, just a little, just enough so I can find her eyes with mine. "Meredith, I'm getting a divorce."

She looks at me, all kinds of things racing through her eyes: happiness, relief, surprise, even guilt…. Then she whispers, "Really?"

"Yes. I told her why, too." Meredith's eyes widen momentarily, but I continue, "I told her that I'm in love with you. You're it for me, Mer."

I never wanted this moment to be in these circumstances. I wanted this moment to happen when we can jump directly into happiness; I don't want to be telling Meredith we're free in a hotel room she's hiding out in, while I'm looking at her cut face or her bruised arms…it's supposed to be perfect.

Still…after the words have left my mouth, Meredith just looks at me for a moment, her eyes actually happy, and then wraps her hands around my neck, placing her lips back on mine without a word.

As we move, still pressed together, out of the tiny area by the door of her hotel room and towards the unmade double bed in the center of the room, I think that maybe this could be perfect, too.

Dim thoughts reach my brain, thoughts about needing to call Alex and letting him know that Meredith's okay, but this is a far too incredible moment to break, so I decide it can wait.

She sits on the edge of the bed and slowly pulls me forward until she's lying on her back. Partially covering her body with mine, I let one hand support my weight, the other wandering to the bottom of her shirt, letting my fingers slide just below the hem.

Meredith deepens the kiss in response, and in a few moments she moves her lips from mine, slowly kissing her way down my neck, then reaches her fingers to the bottom of my shirt and raises it up on over my head before resuming kissing me.

I rest one hand on her stomach, letting one finger gently stroke the skin. Eventually, I begin moving a hand further up her shirt.

Then, she flinches almost imperceptibly.

Meredith

Oh, God.

I'd been allowing myself to get lost for a while, lost in how good it feels to be this close to Derek again, especially knowing it isn't wrong. Lost in rediscovering how perfect we fit together, lost in remembering how soft his touch is.

His fingers had been laying on my bare skin, just under my shirt, and I hadn't even noticed it. Then, his hand begins moving further up, and soon he'll be taking off my shirt.

His hand grazes one of the newer bruises, still tender, and I instinctually flinch away, my body stiffening, a familiar, suffocating panic surfacing.

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm about to be exposed, completely exposed, and the extent of what Finn does to me is going to be completely clear, or if I'm remembering the last few times with Finn, all horrible and not something I wanted and almost always followed by hurt.

Derek's hands are lifting my shirt, and he bends down and gently kisses my skin, not yet seeing everything.

To my intense embarrassment, tears fill my eyes and my breath hitches in my throat. Voice trembling violently, I whisper, "D-Derek…"

He looks up, alarmed by the suddenly scared and fragile tone in my voice. "Mer?" He moves his body up a little so his face is above mine, his eyes open and concerned. "What is it?" He presses his thumb against my cheek and rubs it back and forth gently, his usual way of calming me down.

I'm shaking all over, and wishing to God I wasn't. This, more than anything, I should be able to enjoy. Because it's just me and Derek.

I close my eyes, breaths coming out in ragged, panicked gasps. Derek's eyes grow even more alarmed, and even a little guilty, as if he thinks he's done this. "Meredith…"

"I'm fine, I'm…" A few tears escape and trace a path out of the corner of my eyes , down towards my temples.

Derek rolls over, so he's no longer poised over top of me, but propping himself up beside me, still peering at me in with that anxious expression.

"Hey…" He places two fingers under my chin and tilts my face to the side to look at him. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to-"

"I do, Derek, I want it…" God, I want it so much. But something's wrong.

"Then, what?" He doesn't sound annoyed or frustrated at all, just worried, and confused.

I swallow hard against the lump forming in my throat, and slowly allow my hands to grip the bottom of my shirt, peeling it up to just below my breasts.

Derek's eyes slide from my face and I close my eyes, hearing his sharp intake of breath. I know the bruises there are worse than the others, and they're pretty much all over. I've lost track of everything he's shoved me against or hit me with.

The very tips of Derek's fingers touch my skin, sliding slowly over my stomach and ribcage. I open my eyes and meet his. "Mer…" His voice is heavy, and his eyes are shining with tears. "Meredith, I wish I could take it all away…" His voice is so burdened with pain that I feel another wave of guilt for hurting him in all this, too.

"It's okay." And it is. He's here now, and I need him here. I usually hate needing anyone, because I'd grown up unable to depend on anyone. But I need Derek, and I'm okay with that. More than okay.

He's over top of me again, his fingers now off my stomach and gently playing with a strand of my hair. I hook my fingers around his neck and pull him down to me, covering his mouth with mine, desperately hoping to pick up where we left off.

His tongue goes compliantly into my mouth, but after a few moments of this, I let my fingers pull at his belt buckle, and he murmurs my name against my lips. "Mer…" He pulls back to look at me, traces of worry still visible in his indigo eyes. "You sure?"

I hesitate for a moment, but only a moment. Nodding breathlessly, I lift my arms and Derek instantly pulls my shirt the remainder of the way over my head.

His face muscles still twitch a little when he looks down at me, and I can tell he's swallowing hard. I grip his chin in my hand and force his gaze up to my face. I don't want to be looked at the way he is now, like someone broken and hurt who should be pitied. I want him to look at me like he used to, nothing in his eyes but love and desire.

I want Finn and abuse and fear to be far away, just for a little while. I just want to be us again.

Derek seems to sense this, because he leans down again, kissing me on the lips and then moving down my face and onto the crook where my neck meets my shoulder. His fingers inch under my back, unhooking my bra and sliding it gently from my arms.

He moves lower, soft kisses tracing a path down my chest. I moan softly, entangling my hands in his dark hair.

Derek's fingers undo the button of my jeans and pull the zipper down, gently peeling the tight denim from my legs. I almost cringe again, trying to suppress the panic.

"Meredith?" He mutters, glancing up at me, his blue eyes already darkened and smoky. "You okay?"

I nod, forcing the uncertainty away, because this feels perfect, and right, and I haven't felt anything like that in a long time. Curving my lips into a smile, I voice this. "Perfect…now get your pants off already."

He smiles at that, and instantly he complies. Lowering his face towards mine, our lips touch once again. Feeling the heat from the nearness of his body, beads of sweat are beginning to gather at my forehead and my breath is coming out in short, panting gaps. I clutch Derek's back as I kiss him, kissing him like it's the most important thing in the world.

I love how he can kiss me and have it be simultaneously deep and still almost gentle. He makes me feel safe and loved, and in that instant all traces of the panic and fear evaporates and I finally let myself sink completely into the moment.

Because right now, I really am perfect.

Derek

I nuzzle my face into Meredith's hair, heaving a deep sigh of content. My arms are wrapped around her, her head resting on my chest. I can't remember feeling this happy in a long time; hours ago, I'd been cursing hotels, yet now I'm loving this hotel room and the escape its provided from everything else that's going on.

I tighten my arms around her body; she's shaking, but then, I'm pretty shaky myself. I breathe in the familiar, flowery scent of her hair for about the hundredth time. I'd missed that.

Lavender.

Meredith shifts a little on my chest, and I swear I can feel her heart beating against me.

I move my lips down a little and kiss her hair. She turns her head every so slightly, a smile tugging at the corners of her swollen lips. Her blue eyes are filled with tears, but they're also full of a light I haven't seen in her in ages. The haunted loneliness I've grown painfully accustomed to seeing in her eyes has disappeared.

I want to stay like this forever, and more importantly, I want her to stay like this forever: safe and happy. I want to keep her like this.

She worried me, before…when I'd gone to take her shirt off and she'd said my name in that small, frail voice that had broken my heart, her eyes full of tears and her face twisted in fear. Then she'd shown me the other bruises. The really big, numerous bruises that suggest Finn had been using more than just his fists.

Meredith moves off my chest suddenly and moves up onto the pillow next to mine, turning so our faces our close together. I smile at her. "Hey."

"Hi." She smiles briefly, too, but then her eyes become serious again. "Derek, I'm sorry."

"For what?" My heart sinks just a little. She's looking worried again, just as I'd been hoping to keep her happy forever.

"For freaking out earlier." I open my mouth to brush this aside, tell her not to worry, but she continues. "And for leaving and making you worry. I was just scared for you, and I thought it would be the best way to keep him away from you."

My throat tightens. "I know, and I love you for that. But from now on we're staying together, okay?" I take one of her hands and lace my fingers through hers. "We can protect each other." I smile. "Deal?"

She smiles back, and I relax again. "Deal." She kisses me lightly. "Derek…what are we going to do?"

I'm quiet for a moment, wanting my answer to be the right one. "I think we should go back to Seattle." Her eyes instantly widen in fear, but I continue on in a reassuring voice. "Just long enough to talk to the police and get a restraining order and a court date. And we should talk to the Chief…he's close to firing me right now. Oh, and see your friends…" A realization hits me. "Oh, shit…"

"What?"

I roll halfway off the bed and grab my jacket off the floor, fishing through the pocket and taking out my cell phone, seeing I've missed two calls. "I didn't call Alex and tell him I found you…."

"Wait, Alex?"

"Oh…" I stop dialing momentarily and look at her. "Yeah. He was helping me look for you…he knows Meredith, but it's okay…" She's showing signs of looking panicked again. "It really is. I didn't tell him, I promise…he figured out. Yesterday, after the surgery. He heard Finn today, and he was just helping me look."

"Oh." Her voice sounds steady. "I actually…I figured he might suspect something."

I hold the phone to my ear, and in a moment Alex's strained voice answers. "Hello?"

"I got her."

There's a pause, then Alex exhales in relief. "She's okay?"

"She's fine."

"Good. That's…that's really good. I was getting worried because I drove by Finn's house and he had parked and went inside for a long time. I thought it was weird he wasn't looking for her, and I was worried that maybe he'd been lying about not knowing…"

That doesn't sound like Finn. I'd figured he'd be out looking for Meredith, trying desperately to get to her first. "He's…he's been there all day?" I suppress the doubt creeping forward…Meredith's fine, she's right in front of me. Nothing else matters.

"No. O'Malley called about twenty minutes ago, he drove by during a break and said Finn's trucks gone now. So I don't know."

"Okay, well…she's okay. Thanks for the help, Alex."

"No problem, man. Tell Mer I said hey."

I hang up the phone and look at Meredith with a smile, trying hard to ignore a lingering sense of unease. "Alex says hey. He's glad you're okay."

"Who were you talking about? That's been there all day?"

"What? Oh, he was just giving me an update of Finn. George drove by and-"

"George knows, too?"

"No! I mean, I don't…I don't know what Alex told them. But we were really scared, Mer, and he sent Izzie to the house to keep you there if you came home, and he told Cristina to call you on your cell as much as she could-"

Guilt creases her features. "I've had it turned off in my bag since last night. I'm sorry-"

I drop my coat on the floor and move back up in the bed, snaking an arm around her waist. "Don't be. It's fine, none of that matters. You're okay." I kiss her again, emphasizing the point, but the ringing of the phone, not my cell, but the hotel phone, startles us.

We both turn and stare at it. Meredith says quietly, "I hadn't wanted to answer it earlier…when it was you. I wasn't sure…" Her voice trails off, and the ringing stops after only two rings. Meredith shoots me an uneasy look.

"Probably wrong room. Or teenagers prank calling. They do that in hotels."

She doesn't look entirely convinced, but smiles briefly anyway. "You were saying you think we should go back to Seattle?"

"Just for a little while. Talk to the police, and Chief, get some more stuff and then, if it'll make you feel safer, we can get out of town for a little while. Both of us. Until the court date, and then they'll throw that jackass in jail and it'll all be over. Over, Mer. And you won't have anything to worry about anymore."

Her eyes glass over for an instant, a faraway, almost dreamy look dominating them. I know how much she wants this to be over. "Really?"

"Really."

"You…you don't have to come with me, Derek. I know you have work and everything and you don't have to come…" Her voice trails off uncertainly; her eyes are telling me a completely different story then her words.

"Meredith Grey, you disappoint me. We just got finished making a deal to stay together and protect each other and you want to run off and leave me in Seattle. Well, I won't let you break a deal that easily. It shows lack of character. Plus, I wouldn't dare leave you in a hotel room all alone. Far too much time on your hands…"

She grins, her eyes sparkling, and then she opens her mouth and begins to laugh, really laugh. I can't even remember the last time I heard her laugh, and it's the most beautiful sound in the world. I'm left with two very conflicting desires: to be able to hear her laugh forever, and to stop it by covering her mouth with mine.

Because I'm sure my attempt at banter and innuendo was not nearly clever enough to keep her laughing forever, I give in to the latter desire and press my lips against hers.

She returns it with no objection, but when I pull away, looks at me inquisitively. "What was that for?"

"For seeing you happy. It's good."

She smiles. "It feels good." She sighs. "Derek? I know we should go back. But can we…can we not do it until tonight? I'd feel better at night and…and I really just want to make this last a little longer, and we could just stay here all day…"

I'm shocked to remember it's only midday…I feel like today's been so eventful that it could have covered a week. But it's true, nightfall is a long time away. And I completely understand about her wanting to make this last.

"Sure, Mer…we can stay here until tonight."

Her eyes search my face and she comments, "You should sleep, Derek, you look exhausted."

I smile a little, remembering my thoughts in the on-call this morning that I wouldn't be able to sleep until she was next to me. Now she is, and sleep doesn't sound like such a bad idea, and it's made easy by the large curtains covering the hotel room's window, as well as the fact that it's a dreary, rainy day outside.

"You should, too." I tell her. She couldn't be getting much more sleep than I've been.

I pull the covers up closer, moving near her, my chest against her back, my arms wrapped around her. She takes one of my hands between both of hers, and I close my eyes, still able to breathe in the scent of her hair. I love sleeping like this with her.

"I love you, Mer." I whisper close to her ear after a moment.

Already sounding half asleep, she answers, "I love you, too."

It doesn't take long for me to drift off to sleep, and it's not just the best I've slept since finding out about Finn, but the best I've slept since Addison came, since Meredith was last with me.

XXXXXXXX

When I next wake up, I stare at the clock and it's after eight. I blink a few times, shocked at how long we'd slept.

"Mer? Meredith?" I shake her gently, and she scrunches up her nose and squeezes her eyelids like she always does when she's first waking up. She rolls over and looks at me. I grin. "Hi."

"Hey…what time is it?"

"8:13."

Her eyes widen. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." I kiss her in greeting, and then say, "You ready to get out of here?"

Looking only a little reluctant, she nods, and we get out of the bed on opposite sides, moving around the room collecting clothing; we hadn't gotten further than putting back on boxers and panties this morning.

Meredith stands in front of the mirror and pulls her messy hair into a ponytail, grabs a tiny overnight bag from the tiny desk in the corner, and turns to me. "Let's go."

When we're out of the room, I link my hand toward hers and keep it that way all the elevator ride down to the lobby. An older couple and two middle school age kids get on at the same time as use, which is unfortunate; a smile plays across my lips on the way down thinking of exactly what I could be doing with her in this elevator if we had it to ourselves.

I'm still holding her hand when we go up to the desk in the lobby to check out. I'm disappointed to see the perky lady from earlier had been replaced by another one. Thinking of how freaked out the woman had been, I can't help but laugh out loud. Every thing seems so much funnier now.

Meredith shoots me a look. "What's funny?"

I grin and slip my arm around her waist. "Nothing." She shakes her head a little, as though exasperated.

We walk out of the hotel in a just another moment to find the rain has gotten even harder. I lead her quickly toward my car, but as we're almost there, Meredith turns to me. "I'm parked on the other side…you want me to just follow you back?"

I frown slightly. "You're not riding with me?"

"I have my car." She seems to think this is obvious, but seeing my troubled expression, she adds, "And I don't want to just leave it here…if we're leaving town for a few days it's not like this is the ideal place to come back to."

I'm still a little uncertain. "It's just…it's raining, and the drive back is pretty-"

"Derek, I live in Seattle, too, remember? I think I know how to drive in the rain?" She sighs and shoots me a look that's half exasperated, half grateful. "I'll be fine Derek. Stop worrying, I'll be right behind you."

"Okay." I smile at her finally, and lean down and kiss her, the rain falling all around us, her lips fantastically wet. "I love you. Be careful."

"I love you, too. I'll be fine."

Within minutes, I'm pulling out of the parking lot, Meredith's car behind me.

XXXXXXXXX

We're about ten minutes outside of Seattle. I've finally stopped checking my rearview mirror every few seconds and actually have the radio on, classic rock music blaring through the speakers. I sing along to most of them, feeling insanely light and happy…all because of seeing Meredith happy, because of knowing she's safe. And because the helplessness is gone, and I have a plan, a real plan.

Of course, there is a small voice in my head that's trying to make me doubt myself. I write it off, though, as my inner pessimist, refusing to believe that this isn't too good to be true.

My cell phone rings, and I cut off the radio quickly before grabbing at it. "Hello?"

"Derek?"

"Mer?" Her voice make my stomach turn; she sounds panicked. My eyes dart to the review mirror, but the rain is pounding so hard on the back window of the car that I can only see her headlights. "Mer, what's wrong?"

"He's behind me…"

"Who?" But I know; my blood freezes, and my teeth inadvertently clamp down hard over my tongue, causing the taste of warm blood to fill my mouth. "How?"

"I don't know, he just pulled over, cut someone off…Derek what am I going to do?" Her voice is bordering on hysteria now, so I force mine to remain level and calm.

"It's okay….just stay calm, okay, Meredith? It's okay, you're fine, he's no closer to you than I am…" My eyes scan the road in front of me, trying to think. "Okay, see the exit coming up?" Jesus, we're two exits from Seattle…. "We're going to pull off. He'll probably follow, but that's fine, it's a town we can…we can get to a restaurant, or someplace crowded, and call the cops. Okay, Meredith?" All I can hear is her panicked breathing. "Meredith?"

"Okay." Her voice is nearly inaudible, but I hear it.

"I need you to trust me, okay?" I flick my turn signal on, still glancing back to make sure her headlights are still there. "Can you?"

"I trust you."

"Just follow me, it'll be okay….stay on the line…." I'm driving on the exit ramp now, and behind me, two sets of headlights follow. I hope my voice sounds a lot more confident then I'm feeling right now. "It's okay, Mer…" I murmur again.

I'm almost to the end…

Then I hear her voice, no longer small. "Oh, my God, what's he doing?! Derek what is he doing?!"

I can't stop myself from jerking my head around. Finn's truck is speeding up, actually trying to go around Meredith so he's almost even with her car. "Meredith pull over!" I yell into the phone, but the advice is too late. I hear Meredith scream and I jerk my head around in time to see Meredith's car careening across the road and then off into the tiny grassy area on the right of the road, having been hit on the driver side by the truck. The car flips from the impact of sliding off the road and rolls, coming to rest with the drivers side on the ground.

I pull over instantly, just in time to feel the wind from Finn's truck careening by me.

"MEREDITH!" I shout her name over and over as I run toward the battered car, blood pounding in my ears, my shouts almost drowned out by the pounding of rain.

I open the passenger's side door and throw half of my body into the car, shaking hands fumbling with a seat belt and gathering Meredith's tiny, motionless frame in my arms.

AH! I'm glad I finished that. I really, really like this chapter.

The Mer/Der-ness is great. Hoped you guys enjoyed the hotel room scene. Because there was never any doubt that when we put our two favorite doctors in a hotel room, there would be sex. Which is awesome because they haven't even kissed yet in this story (please let that be true, haha), and it's a really great moment. And if they had sex, Meredith would have some issues. But they'd both really want it. And it would let them kind of escape for awhile and be happy.

So what I love about that whole scene was that, I think and hope, it is both incredibly loving and happy while having such heartbreaking moments. Because Meredith? My heart just goes out to the poor girl. And so does Derek's. Because in between all this happiness, my two favorite moments were Derek's breakdown when he first got to her, and Meredith's panic when Derek starts to lift her shirt. Don't know what that says about me.

I ALMOST didn't leave you with the cliffhanger. Almost didn't, because I wanted to let you guys revel in happiness for a little while. Because part of what makes the end so horrible is all that happiness. Meredith was actually happy. Derek was definitely happy. They'd let themselves believe in the tiny little paradise they'd stepped into for the day. But the real world, including Finn, still exists. And it's a rude awakening for them to be reminded of that in such a way. But the thing is, I'm a little evil. And this story is angsty and difficult, which is why I had to end it that way. Don't hate me. Please.

This is becoming pathetically repetitive, but I would love long reviews for this one. I really want to know if all this worked, because the hotel scene? That's been playing in my head for months now. I want to know about the angst of Derek searching, and his breakdown and the angst of Meredith being afraid, and the happiness of wanting to stay there all day, and of course, the end. Haha. Anyway, sorry for the rambling. Please review, thanks for all those who have, thanks for reading!