Author's Note: This is probably gonna be my last 'Gaara Gets Something,' as all the other illnesses that could be brought upon poor Gaara are mostly life-threatening and not as cute. Also, I have no more experience with illnesses besides these three. I might try Gaara with something else, don't know what, though…hmmm. I'll have to give it some thought. Oh, well, see ya! Review, please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Gaara Gets the Flu

Gaara had the flu.

He didn't know what it was, but it was much worse than the 'cold' and 'chickenpox' he'd suffered so far. Though still new to the subject of illnesses and their rather annoying symptoms, Gaara was quickly becoming an expert, having gone to the local clinic and forcing the doctors there to instruct him on all things having to do with horrid sicknesses. He'd also gone to a nearby library and procured all available books detailing all illnesses, their symptoms, and their remedies. Committing all this to memory was the next step. Impossible as it may sound, if anyone had the drive and desire to learn all this boundless information and use it with full potential, it was Gaara. Having fallen victim to these insipid plagues not once, but twice, Gaara was sick (no pun intended) and tired of having to suffer these troublesome handicaps, and was determined to stop these diseases from falling upon him once and for all.

Or so he thought, until he got sick again.

Gaara glared liquid flames of hatred at the tall pile of medical books perched atop a table on the far side of his room. Stupid books. Lots of help they were. Not only was he sick again, it was a new one that he hadn't gotten before, so now his experience with colds and chickenpox were completely useless. Gaara had hoped that if he'd ever gotten sick again, it would just be another cold. Colds weren't so bad. You got to eat soup and lay in bed all day. Chickenpox was worse. You itched and had to bathe in disgusting oatmeal-water. Gaara had been extremely relieved to hear that it was very rare for someone to get them twice (and sadly, that someone was Kankuro). But this new sickness, while in some ways similar to the other two, had new abilities that wreaked havoc on poor Gaara's immune system.

Gaara forced himself to get up. This time, he wasn't going to depend on Kankuro to tell him what was ailing him. Now, Gaara possessed knowledge. It was time to put it to good use. Shambling over to the stack of books, Gaara selected one and brought it back to his bed. Sitting down and laying it open before him, Gaara cleared his mind. The first thing to do was list his symptoms. Then, he could find out what particular, horrible sickness this was.

Gaara was hot. Very hot. Hotter than the time he and his siblings had gone on a long trek across the desert for some strange mission and the only thing saving his pale tender flesh from sizzling in the heat of the sun was the umbrella of sand he'd created solely for himself. He remembered Temari and Kankuro sporting bright-red sunburns for more than a week after the incident. Truth be told, he now felt a little bad for being so selfish. But that was the past, and the past wouldn't help him now.

This symptom was called a fever. Gaara knew this for sure because not only had he gotten it before when he'd suffered from chickenpox, he had researched it and found out that a fever was a signal that told the body that something was wrong. So, in other words, a fever was supposed to be a good thing. Yeah, right. Those stupid doctors sure had their information wrong.

Alright, so he had a fever. What else? Gaara closed his eyes and thought. Well, his head hurt. A whole lot. Almost as much as when he and Shukaku had verbal wars inside his head for hours and then it would go sulk in some faraway corner of his mind. He also felt dizzy and his head swam at times, like when he stood or walked around. That certainly wasn't a good sign. Gaara wondered randomly if this was what being drunk felt like. If so, he had no qualms for never touching any sort of alcohol in the future. That is if he lived through this damned disease.

Other than the fever and head-swimming, Gaara's other symptoms were remarkably similar to a cold's. His body was cold and felt ninety years old, his throat hurt, eyes ached, and he was tired. Hopefully, whatever he now had was as easy to get rid of as the cold. There was only one way to find out. Gaara flipped through the medical book, searching for answers.

Here. Under I, influenza. What a strange word. It sounded like it was from a whole other language. All the symptoms listed matched his. This must be it. Gaara pulled the book closer and began to read studiously.

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"Kankuro, where's the aspirin?" Gaara shuffled dejectedly into the kitchen, wrapped tightly in a blanket to keep the chill off (not like it helped, really). Kankuro sat at the table, crunching some potato chips and reading a Shinobi Weekly magazine. His funny (in Gaara's opinion) black hat had been removed and lay on the table.

"Oooh, these Kunai knives are fifty percent off…" Kankuro breathed before looking up at his brother. Immediately he knew something was amiss. "…What did you catch this time?" He asked with a sigh. Trust Gaara to get sick yet again, and only a few weeks after the traumatizing chickenpox episode. Kankuro's had thankfully dissipated, and now only fading dark spots on his skin were the pale reminders of the suffering he'd had to go through (twice).

"I have…influenza…" Gaara spoke the word slowly and carefully, sounding it out. He still thought it was rather strange.

"Oh, you mean the flu? Yikes. I'll be staying in my room for the next couple days." Kankuro was quick to abandon his brother when the threat of becoming sick again loomed near. Gaara gave him a hurt look.

"Is it…that bad?"

"Well…no, not really." Kankuro shrugged, edging his chair a little away from Gaara just in case. "It's just not very fun. You wanted the aspirin because you've got a fever, right?" Gaara nodded. "Okay, and you feel like crap?" He nodded again. "And your head feels all weird?" Gaara nodded again, gingerly this time, as the nodding was indeed upsetting his vulnerable, throbbing head. "And you feel nauseous?"

Gaara stared blankly at Kankuro. "…No…what's that? I read in my medical book that it's when your stomach is acting all strange or something, but I haven't felt anything like that yet…"

Kankuro slowly slid his chair away from Gaara, stood up in a half-crouch, and began slinking away backwards from his sick brother with the utmost caution. Gaara's eyes widened.

"W…what? Am I going to get nauseous? What will happen to me when-" Gaara's frightened voice cut off as a wave of immense feeling overwhelmed him. His body flushed, hotter than ever. It felt like he was on fire. His mouth began watering uncontrollably, and his stomach roiled. Moaning, he clutched his stomach.

"Oh geez! You're gonna puke right here? Hang on! Lemme get a bowl!" Kankuro dashed to the cupboards and threw them open violently, rifling around for a sizeable basin while tossing other useless items aside.

"Ohhh…I can't wait…" Gaara hugged his protesting stomach. There was no time to wait for Kankuro to find him a bowl. Whatever was coming up was coming up now, and there was no stopping it. He just needed something…

Kankuro's hat lay innocently on the tabletop not a foot away.

Gaara didn't care. He seized the hat as his stomach suddenly heaved. Kankuro glanced back over his shoulder to check on the condition of his brother, but his mouth dropped open in shock when his eyes met with a horrible image that he would never forget, no matter how hard he tried.

"Gaara, NO!"

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"You puked in Kankuro's hat? Bwahahahaha!" Temari rocked back and forth, slapping the countertop while shaking with mirth. Kankuro's glare could have flayed the skin off of any other person, but Temari, much used to it, easily shrugged it aside. Gaara shifted uncomfortably around on the couch, embarrassed and yet glad that he could get Temari to laugh so powerfully. A bowl sat beside him, ready for its purpose if another wave of nausea decided to strike Gaara again. The hat, of course, had gone straight to the trash. Too bad. It was Kankuro's favorite hat, too.

"What the hell am I supposed to wear to missions now?" Kankuro whined, still very clearly upset. "I needed that hat! I'll look weird without it!"

"You already looked weird with it, dummy." Temari giggled, still not getting over what had happened. She'd been out grocery shopping most of the morning, and had come home to a screaming Kankuro and a relieved-looking Gaara. At least he felt better now. "You should thank Gaara. Maybe now girls won't think you're so strange and actually talk to you."

"Okay, you suck, and you suck." Kankuro pointed to each of his siblings in turn. "I am going to my room, and I am not coming out until Gaara is better." So saying, he rose from his chair and stomped angrily to his room. Temari waited a few seconds.

"Haa-aaat!" She sang after the departing shinobi.

"Shut up!"

Temari broke into another fit of laughter. Gaara smiled weakly from his resting place. It was a little funny, but Gaara still felt bad for doing that to Kankuro's poor hat. He'd buy his brother a better one, once he had recovered. Perhaps then Kankuro would forgive him.

"Don't worry about him," Temari said, turning to her ailing little brother. "He's just cranky because it means he actually has to wash his hair before he goes out in public." She smiled. "So, let's work on getting you better."

Gaara couldn't agree more.

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First things first. The fever had to be forced under control. Temari located the aspirin and had Gaara take a dose to quell the rage of the flu symptom. Gaara now lay in bed with blankets piled atop him, resting in peace. A bowl was placed beside him, for easy access if needed. A wet rag also lay on his forehead, aiding the aspirin with its mission of lowering Gaara's temperature. There was nothing else that could be done. All that was left was for Gaara to wait it out. And so he did.

Gaara's flu took several days to dissipate. During those days, Gaara was prone to more vomiting, chills, and high fever. Nothing to serious, however, or Temari surely would have brought him to the local hospital. Kankuro stayed true to his word, staying locked up in his room and refusing to come out except for extreme cases, such as when he needed to relieve himself or needed a snack. Temari ignored her paranoid brother and instead focused all her loving attention on Gaara, sitting by his side, helping him take medicine, and generally keeping him company. Gaara learned to truly appreciate his older sister.

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"98.6 degrees, Gaara! You should be all better soon!" Temari held up the thermometer to the light, reading its crimson line. Gaara's temperature had indeed returned to normal, and he was feeling much better, albeit a little weak and wobbly.

"Good," he mumbled, his head peeking from under the blanket. "Finally." He sighed in relief.

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad." Temari smiled. Gaara fidgeted.

"No…I guess not…"

"Kankuro! Gaara's better! You can come out of your room now!" Temari called out into the hall. Shuffling sounds could be heard emanating from Kankuro's room as he moved. There was a small creak as he eased his door open.

"…Are you sure?" He asked cautiously, peering suspiciously out.

"Yes. He doesn't have a fever anymore, and he can keep his food down now." Temari wiped the thermometer clean and stood up. Kankuro appeared in the doorway, still moving slowly and carefully, as if expecting an attack at any time.

"Geez, finally. Do you know how sick I am of friggin' potato chips and Oreo's? That's all I've had to eat for the last few days!" Kankuro seized a nearby tray of food and began shoveling it into his mouth greedily.

"And whose fault is that?" Temari whispered under her breath. She suddenly fixed Kankuro with a serious stare. "Gaara just ate from that," she stated bluntly, indicating the very food Kankuro was so readily devouring.

Kankuro froze with a spoonful of food halfway to his mouth. He stared at his sister, eyes bulged with horror, before dropping the tray, whirling around and dashing as fast as he could manage to the bathroom, where he noisily spat out the infected dish.

Temari smiled evilly and winked at Gaara. "That was my plate."

Gaara burst out laughing.

The End

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Author's Note: Ha! That was really fun to write. I just love making fun of Kankuro. Anyway, I hoped you liked it! Read and review, please!