Disclaimer: I don't own Code Lyoko. I also don't own "To The Moon and Back." The song is by Savage Garden go figure.

Rating: PG-14

Pairing: UxSam, SamxOthers

Author's Note: Well, this is definitely...different. This is my first fic with this pairing so please, please be gentle. This fic is dedicated to the wonderfully talented Katie who is the love of my life for giving me all these challenges to write! I love my Katie! This fic took three-and-a-half rewrites, yes, you read that correctly. I'm still not sure if I like the ending but it's the best I can come up with. Please read and review. Katie, this is for you. :hugs:

Sam sighed, shoving through the crowd of sweat-soaked bodies and suffocating smoke. Her hair was plastered to her head and the back of her neck, she felt a few strands curling along her cheeks. A few of the guys made to grab her, to pull her back into the heart and heat of the party but she slipped out of their grasp with a teasing smile and out into the cold air.

She noticed some of the girls from the local college glancing at her, giggling in tightly clustered groups around the flickering windows. She knew they were talking about her, just from the way the eyes roamed over her skin-tight dress and the way her hair had fallen down in sweaty tangles. She turned away from there, refusing to let them see the hurt in her eyes caused by their whispers, their rumors.

They're saying, "Mama never loved her much"
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shies away from human affection"

Ulrich shoved his hands into his pockets, picking his way along the trail, enjoying the autumn night. Whispers reached his ears, traveling on satin air currents through the wood. He had always felt at home in a forest, probably since his family had a lodge in the middle of a forest, one of the few remaining, in Germany. It had always soothed him.

He tilted his head back, whistling softly to himself, looking up at the sky above, the moon full and luminous. Odd had always teased him about his regard of the forest, calling him a tree-hugger or a wood-elf to annoy him, but he knew that his friend understood the tug the forest presented to him. It let him think without interruption, to debate on issues with school or sports...or girls.

Girls.

He smiled a little bitterly at the last thought. He was amazingly successful with girls, or at least Odd claimed he was, but not with the one he wanted. Then again, he didn't see her anymore. He had felt bad at first, thinking about her in that way when she was taken, when he saw her kissing someone else. No, not Yumi, he had moved on, past her, at the start of college.

No, instead he had woken one day and fallen irrevocably in love with Sam Larson.

He had heard the stories about her, mostly from the kids at school when she was dating Odd. How she was a druggie, truth be told, she did resemble one with her bone-thin silhouette and bruised eyes, how she drank, how she hung with the wrong crowd. But he couldn't keep his thoughts away from her for long.

But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him

One of the guys, she couldn't remember his name at the moment, came up behind her, wrapping her in his arms so that she was pressed against his sweaty chest. Gross. She tilted her head to the side, feeling his lips press along her neck and shoulder, wondering where her life was going.

She heard one of the girl's voices raise in indignation as she felt the guy's hand slide up her skirt. It was warm and slick with sweat as well and she felt his breath on her ear, rumbling something in the sticky air. She bit her tongue as she turned her face and his lips met hers.

She broke away, pulling out of his grasp and stomped down the stairs to the lawn, shivering when she was away from the heat of the party. Her life had gone downhill fast, she had gone from one guy to another, trying to find an outlet, something that didn't throw her back to drinking, drugs, and self-mutilation. Though maybe this could be considered a different kind of mutilation, another form of intoxication.

Her nails traced along the thin scars snaking around her bare wrists and over the slight indents of past needle pricks. She was messed up, screwed up, and tossed out on the curb of the street. She groaned, running chewed nails through her hair, lifting it off her sweaty neck, listening as the guy called to her from the porch.

She was tempted to go back to the house, to the party, to him. At least she would be warm and wanted for a night at least. Her parents were oblivious, it was better that way, they had their own issues to deal with anyway. She tossed her hair, looking back at him. He had another girl in his arms, pressed against the railing, and she shuddered, turning and walking quickly away.

She was just another puppet.

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

He could remember coming across her when she was at the park one night. The night before he went back to Germany for the summer, Odd was already in Norway with his family, skiing or hiking or something. She had been in bad shape when he'd seen her, lucid, but high, maybe drunk.

She was in a gazebo, swinging on one of the hanging benches and he had been surprised, creeping up to her slowly. Her eyes turned to him, face flickering in the trash can fire in front of her, hollow and pale, eyes glittering in their bruised rings. She smiled, teeth flashing in the light as she tossed the makeshift tourniquet into the fire, eyes burning into his own.

She was beautiful in a dangerous way.

That was the first night they had kissed. When she was still dating his best friend, still doing drugs, still high, still drunk. He had relished the kiss, dreaming about it days, nights after, feeling bad when he saw Odd after summer vacation.

He paused in his walk, hands still shoved in his pockets, and leaned against a tree, staring at the gravel and dirt beneath his scuffed sneakers. He could still remember the taste of her mouth, the feel of her warm, hyper-active skin, the way they had fit together perfectly. He had never intended to get involved with her, she was bad news, he had told Odd that numerous times, but her presence had shoved through the thin defenses he hadn't even realized were there to claim him as hers. Though she didn't even know it.

He groaned, letting his head fall back and eyes slide closed. The wind played cool fingers over his skin and for a moment he imagined the fingers to belong to her. Her. His best friend's ex-girlfriend. The girl who had dumped said best friend suddenly and without any real reason.

He was screwed royally.

She can't remember a time when she felt needed
If love was red then she was color blind
All her friends they've been tried for treason
And crimes that were never defined

She pulled out her cell phone, playing with the antenna numbly. Her veins burned, blood pulsing along its path through her body. She needed a high, needed warmth. She shook her head, flipping her cell open and looking at the numbers typed neatly in.

Luke.

Her mind locked onto his name but there wasn't much she could do. He was in prison for drug possession, abuse, selling, something. Her mind was fuzzy, she couldn't remember. Though she remembered that he had taken the fall for her. She owed him big time.

She shook her head, clearing it, and looked ahead at the looming trees. A forest, what a surprise. It seemed that the whole friggin' city was covered in trees. She groaned, at least she would be alone in there. She picked her way carefully across roots and wines, along the trail, feeling her way in the half-dark.

Heels weren't the best choice for hiking.

She wrapped her arms around her trembling body, envisioning her bedroom. The dresser beneath the window, the bed against the far wall, the over flowing closet, the bathroom that needed a good cleaning. A bloody razor in the garbage pail between the toilet and sink. The hypodermic needles and the packet were in the top drawer, hidden in back, behind the make-up. All she had to do was make it home and the trembles would stop, the warmth would become.

She's saying, "Love is like a barren place,
And reaching out for human faith
Is like a journey I just don't have a map for"

He remembered pressing against her, feeling her press back. Their tongues entwined, bodies moving against each other. She tasted sweet and tangy, salt from the sweat running down their skin from the fire. Her eyes shone at him, smudged mascara making the dark circles deeper, her eyes more vibrant, a deep green, emerald almost.

The swing had creaked beneath their combined weight, shifting back and forth, back and forth. She had sat up, eyes glittering mischievously, fingers reaching beneath the swing, pulling out a black satchel, opening the flap and removing a syringe filled with something he couldn't distinguish in the shadows.

"Want some?" she had whispered, voice ragged with something he couldn't determine.

"What is it?"

"Good stuff. It'll make you feel better." She had traced a finger down his neck and chest. "Lots better."

"No."

"Please Ulrich," she murmured seductively.

The memories still brought shivers to his spine, causing him to shudder in the still air. That was the first night he had gotten high, the only night. It had been strange, creepy, he didn't like not being in control. She had embraced the feeling.

He hadn't seen her except in passing since that night, months, years, ago.

He pushed away from the tree, shuffling down the trail, pausing once more when he heard a muttered curse up ahead. He looked up, seeing the moonlight shining through a gap in the trees up ahead, watching the girl approaching. He could recognize her a mile away, her wraithlike figure, thin wrists, ribs showing, skintight clothes.

Sam.

So baby's gonna take a dive and
Push the shift to overdrive
Send a signal that she's hanging
All her hopes on the stars
What a pleasant dream

She stopped when she realized she wasn't alone anymore. Up ahead she saw someone else standing in the shadows, watching her as well. She reached up, playing absentmindedly with the heart pendent hanging around her neck; it had been a gift from one of the guys in her past. She couldn't remember who at the moment.

The figure took a step closer and she felt her mouth go dry, she took a couple of quick swallows, licking her lips as he approached her. She seemed to have become part of the forest, roots extending from the soles of her shoes, locking her firmly in place. She licked her lips again, nervousness easing from her body, tightening her fingers into fists and then relaxing them.

By the time he had reached her she was smiling.

"Hey, I wouldn't have expected to see you here," she said, tossing her hair over a shoulder expertly. Distant memories of their brief past flashed through her head at lightning speed and she smiled wider, white teeth glittering in the moonlight.

He smiled back, running a hand through his brown hair, looking around nervously. Did he expect her to...to what? Bite him? She had only done that once...She shook her head, turning her green eyes to him, listening as he stumbled over his words.

"I like to...walk in the woods...at night." He paused and she raised an eyebrow. "It calms my thoughts."

"Ah...I see," she whispered. She smiled, remembering fondly the time they had spent together, mostly stolen moments. The first night, before he had gone to Germany when Odd was gone, then another couple of nights when he had returned and Odd was still away... "Take a walk with me then?" she asked, extending a hand to him. He hesitated a moment before reaching out and taking it.

His hand was warm in hers.

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

He was in heaven, on Cloud 9, somewhere that didn't have gravity holding him in its vice-like grip. He noticed her hand was cold but it didn't really penetrate, instead he simply enjoyed the night, wandering with her through the forest, taking one trail than another, never questioning where they were going or why she had been outside dressed as she was.

She was like nothing he had ever seen before.

They stopped before one of the many lakes, not sure who it was that had initialized the halt, looking at the moon reflected on the ripples. She turned to look at him and he smiled at her. She smiled back, looking ravishing with the moonlight shining on her, eyes glowing in the dark shadows of her face.

"Are you happy Ulrich?" she asked, voice velvet in his ear, breath splaying across his cheek. He turned to her, surprised at her question, drowning in her eyes.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I'm quite content," she replied, English accent peeking through the French one. She leaned in and he felt his heart speed up, anticipating what was going to happen. Their lips touched, molding into one like before, tongues falling into the rhythm that had been established before. She sighed, pulling back after a moment and looked up at him. "Come?"

He nodded numbly, intoxicated by her very presence, following her lead back down the twisting trails, through the forest, through patches of milky light and chocolate shadows. She was walking ahead of him just a tad, fingers still wrapped tightly around his. He watched the way her body moved, elegant and sinuous, beautiful and deadly. She was an exotic snake, terrifying and beautiful, magnetic and deadly all rolled into one.

"Where are we going?" he asked finally, finding his voice when they entered a shadowed way.

She turned back to him, hair sifting over her shoulders, blowing lazily in the wind. She licked her lips again, smiling at him. "My place," she replied simply, tightening her grip on his fingers. She didn't have to worry though, he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Mama never loved her much
And, Daddy never keeps in touch
That's why she shies away from human affection

She had gone from one guy to another. It wasn't a secret. Everyone knew that she was like that, nothing personal. Long ago guys, the good ones, the caring ones, had given up on her and she was left with the others, the ones that used and abused her. The druggies, the drunks, the...

She shook her head, looking down at the fingers clutched tightly in hers. Her body was trembling, needing a fix now, demanding it. She shuddered again and he looked at her, concern flashing in his eyes. She gave him a smile in return, one of the ones the guys said they adored, the sultry ones that had made her famous for stealing boyfriends.

"Just a bit further," she whispered into his ear. He grinned back at her and she sighed happily.

It was a one-night thing. A brief hook-up in the years of hook-ups she had achieved. She wasn't looking for a long-term thing, she couldn't handle one. Life had never been fair, she learned that at an early age. She was only four when they had moved from England to France but she could still remember the night clearly, her mother coming into her room and waking her hurriedly. She had been bundled tightly in clothes as loud thumps and bangs came from her front door, her father yelling at them to hurry up as Toby, her brother, pulled a knife from the kitchen drawer.

The door was broken down while she and her mother were going out through the window. That was the last time she saw Toby. Later she learned of her parents' underhanded dealings, later she learned that Toby had been killed. Life wasn't fair.

They reached her house and she sighed in relief, hurrying up the back steps, pulling Ulrich with her. The needle was just a few rooms away now, she would reach euphoria soon. Who knew, maybe Ulrich would join her again. A smile graced her lips as she remembered the first time they had slept together while high. That had definitely been an experience.

"Sam?"

"Sh...come on," she murmured. She pulled him down the hall toward her room, already imagining the drugs entering her body, twisting her perception. Euphoria. Perfection. Completion.

But somewhere in a private place
She packs her bags for outer space
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come
And she'll say to him

Ulrich had a feeling that he knew where they were going before they even reached the room, knew what was going to happen before Sam stumbled, trembling, into the bathroom and fumbled in a drawer for something. He looked around her room, staring at the dark walls and black comforter. A single pillow of blood red lay amid the blackness. A lamp on the end table was turned on, illuminating the room dimly.

She came out of the bathroom, fingers wrapped tightly around a needle and ziploc of white, a tourniquet dangling, hands shaking slightly but looking better as she prepared for the administration. He watched her, graceful as a cat, as she sat on the bed, tying the tourniquet around her arm and filling the syringe.

"Sam..." he whispered, unsure. The dugs that had previously invaded his body sang out, wanting more, wanting to experience that high for himself. It was a dangerous combination, just like she was. Dangerous and breathtaking.

"Come on Ulrich, I'll be gentle," she murmured. She pulled him down onto the bed, pressing her lips to his tightly as she wrapped another tourniquet around his arm. "I'll do you first," she said against his mouth. He nodded, intoxicated in her essence.

"Okay..." he breathed.

"Good boy." She eased the needle into a vein, covering his mouth with hers as he gave a hoarse cry. She knew he would thank her later. She eased the needle out, wiping it with alcohol and filling it again, inserting it into her arm this time as his lips scorched a trail down her neck and over her collar bone.

He sighed, feeling the effects immediately, heady and high. His vision was unfocused, his body on hyper drive. He pressed her back into the bed while she dropped the needle and moaned his name softly. A part of him, the logical part, knew that this wasn't good, that drugs were bad, that she was bad, but he ignored it, going with the flow, enjoying the sensations wracking his body, though in hindsight, the sensations might not have been caused completely by the drugs.

He felt his control spinning wildly away.

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

Sam shuddered, standing at the window, watching Ulrich leave. She had a sheet wrapped tightly around her shivering form. It had been good, the best. She loved Ulrich. It was a realization that had occurred sometime during the sex, she wasn't sure when exactly, but she had shoved him away in the end anyway. She loved him, but she wasn't ready to be tied down to one person. For now, one night stands now and then would be good for her.

As she watched his back retreating she fingered the pendent once more, he had given it to her when he had returned from Germany. She smiled warmly at the memory, letting her fingers slide down over her soft skin, fingering her bruised collarbone, the bones more prominent lately, over the scratchy cotton of her sheet, and ran chipped nails over the scars. Scars were memories. She had a lot. A lot of scars and a lot of memories.

It had been wonderful tonight, with him. Both of them had felt the euphoria, both of them had enjoyed the sex, maybe it was closer to love-making. She wasn't sure, she had never done the latter though tonight was definitely different than other nights with the other guys. That was how she knew she loved him. Now though, now the cold was seeping back into her shivering body, the drugs wearing thin and fraying, leaving her body painfully. She needed more.

She sank onto her bed, sighing heavily and fumbling with the syringe, injecting the drugs into her body once more. She needed to forget, needed to be numb to the world. The drugs burned through her body, igniting it on fire and she groaned, head falling back onto the crimson pillow as her vision swam.

Maybe...maybe I'll tell him...

...tomorrow.

Tomorrow never comes.

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?

Samantha Olivia Larson

1992 - 2009

Loving Daughter

R.I.P.