SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T READ

Disclaimer: I do not own Gash Bell. But I want to! Why couldn't I? Tell me Shogakukan!

Author's Notes: If you read my fic A REALLY WEIRD STORY, though I doubt you do, this is NOT the oneshot I mentioned at the chapter 5. The oneshot is about Disgaea. I try to do my best doing this fic. A REALLY WEIRD STORY will be put on hiatus until I got a lot of ideas.

Chapter One

The Formation of the Band.

"Why am I doing this again?" Ask a white-haired mamono with a white-haired clothes and purple eyes named Zeon. He has been told to come to Kiyomaro's house this morning, and found himself inside a room filled with a drum set, two guitars, and two microphones doesn't seem to please him. It get worse that Gash asked Zeon and Dufo to form a band with him and Kiyomaro.

"Well, please bear with it. Gash has been crazed over making bands after he hear a song from my father. The band is…I don't remember…Rolling…" Kiyomaro stuttered a little, before Dufo cut him.

"Rolling Stones. An english rock and roll band formed in early 1960s. In their 1969 American tour, the band was often referred to as 'the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World. The first members are Mick Jagger as vocals, Brian Jones as the lead guitar, harmonica, and vocals, Keith Richards as the rhythm guitar and vocals, Ian Stewart as the piano player, Dick Taylor as the bass, and various drummers such as Mick Avory, Tony Chapman, and Carlo Little. This band's current member is Mick Jagger as lead vocals and harmonica, Keith Richards as…What's wrong?" Said Dufo, before shot by a confused sight of the other three people. Wrong! Make it ONE human and TWO mamonos.

"I don't know you know about Rolling Stones!" Said Kiyomaro.

"I don't know that you know something that much!" Said Zeon.

"I don't know you could speak more than 10 words at once!" Said Gash, once again receiving a glare from Zeon.

"How could you know about those? I never ever seen you hear a song! Or sing them! Or smiling!" Ask Dufo, frantically.

"I have fourteen years of life you don't know about, Zeon." Said Dufo as he bring his mind back to his childhood. Decided that it was unfit to his usual personality, he bring back his usual face and usual silence.

"That's better." Said Zeon, as he sit down on the floor.

"Well…Kiyomaro! What should we do now?" Ask Gash while jumpin up and down; you would not need to be a genius to see that Gash is excited. Dufo try his best to hide his same feelings as Gash, but Zeon's sharp insticts give it away.

"I think…we should decide who gonna doing what. Anyone wants to be what?" Ask Kiyomaro as he see the other three. They stay silent, until Zeon raises his hand.

"What spot are there?" As Zeon asks, Dufo snapped out of it, and while pointing to Zeon, says: "There are vocals, who sings, bass, who plays bass, of course, there are drummer, who from the name you could know playing drums, and many other! Bands usually have members who is both bass and vocals, or drummer and…"

Dufo stop his words. He could not hide his embarassment as he sit on the floor, back to the other three people who could not stop staring at him.

"You're uncool…" Said Kiyomaro, eyes still staring…

"You're TOO uncool…" Said Zeon, eyes still staring…

"Is it time for dinner?" Said Gash, eyes still staring……….at the clock.

"You has eaten three people worth of snacks five minutes ago!" Said Kiyomaro, eyes glaring at the hungry Gash Bell. Upon this, Zeon sweatdropped.

"Zeon?" Ask Gash. Dufo, saw this chance to return back all the embarassment he got for his abnormal knowledge about music and reverse personality regarding bands, poke Zeon before saying,

"You are hungry, right? After all those ten-people-worth of snacks you eat on the way here?" As those words are spoken, Zeon stand up, face in a deep shade of red, try his best to close Dufo's mouth.

"SHUT UP! IT WAS NOT TRUE! I AM NOWHERE LIKE GASH!" Screamed Zeon in panic, as he was afraid to let out his secret. Dufo was just backing away from Zeon's frantic hand. Be careful as possible not to let his conciousness say Zakeru. It would not be pleasant.

"Dufo and Zeon are different…" Said Kiyomaro as he sweatdropped on the sight.

"Who wants to be the vocals? The one who sings?" Ask Kiyomaro. Upon this question, Zeon, Dufo, and Gash raise their hands. Both Gash and Dufo look at him with sparkly (no, not the normal 'sparkly', 'anime'-sparkly) eyes, while Zeon just determined to beat Gash in everything (that would explain his incredible appetite) he could do. Sadly, Zeon could not beat Gash in three points: Gash's optimism, Gash's incredible childish-ness, and the third thing I never thought. Anyone of you wanna suggest?

"I cannot decide…We would need a judge…" Said Kiyomaro, stop in track just to hear another voice from outside.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am here to share you my knowledge! I know everything, from Rolling Stones to a village named 'A', I know everything! My name is Nazo Nazo Hakase!" Said the man with blue cape and his trademark long and sharp nose as he smashed Kiyomaro's door open with a kick.

"ZAKERU!"

Soon the entire scene shifted into two young humans with two young mamonos AND one fried fries…what the hell…AND one fried Nazo Nazo Hakase. This would probably be a lesson to him: "Never break anyone's door."

"So, three of you guys want to be the singer and you are searching for an excellent judge?" Ask Nazo Nazo Hakase (I hate long names. Can I call him, Nazo? "You may not, rankiribe") as he let out this god-knows-from-where knowledge. Zeon, Dufo, and Gash nodded.

"I'll be the judge, so you don't end up with singer as bad as fudge!" Said Nazo Nazo Hakase (please? Can I call you Nazo? "NO WAY IN THE HELL!") as he stand up and began singing. This brings various responses:

Kiyomaro : "Would Zakeruga be good?"

Gash : "Hey! It rhymes!"

Zeon : "Dufo, prepare a Jigadirasu Uru Zakeruga"

Dufo : "Isn't that song 'We Will Rock You' by Queens?"

But, as it is what I want, they decided to chose the vocals by a competition. Gash, Dufo, and Zeon, in that order, are gonna sing one song each. They may chose whatever the song is. While one competitor sing, the other two and two judges (Kiyomaro and Nazo Nazo Hakase) will judge them. Those who able to impress the spectators the most will be chosen Vocals.

Gash's turn. He is singing 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' from Rolling Stones, obviously his favorite song, but…it was different. He is singing it in LOUD, and I mean LOUD, falsetto voice, and few lines he didn't get by hearing alone, he replaced it as he wants. The judge's comments:

Kiyomaro : "You call that singing?"

Dufo : "When will you began to sing? After all that coughing?"

Nazo Nazo Hakase : "You are unbalanced in many points. You sing in falsetto, you swapped the lines, changing them. You cannot keep the intonation on your voice, unable to change in the flow of emotions within the song. You are unfit to be the vocals"

Zeon : "ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!"

Dufo's turn. As he preparing his pose, Kiyomaro sweated. That pose was familiar. It was the pose of…Kiyomaro's could not process the horrific memories. Then Dufo began to sing…

Chichi chichi oppai! (boing, boing!)………

And so on and so forth. The comments :

Kiyomaro : "………….."

Gash : "Wait a minute! That song sounds familiar…Is it 'Chichi wo Moge' sung by Folgore?"

Nazo Nazo Hakase : "Do you requests for comments? You singing was good, the intonation fits, you also following the flow of the song quite good. But…That song just don't match your looks…"

Zeon : "You began to embarrass me, Dufo. What kind of fg song is that?"

"Well, it was SHORT" Answer Dufo.

Zeon's turn. As the song pass by, Zeon's specific voice follows along…

Ashita he tsuzuku sakamichi no tochuu de

Surechigau otona tachi ha tsubuyaku no sa

"Ai toka yume toka risou mo wakanu kedo

Me no mae no genjitsu wa sonna ni amaku nai" tte

Tsumazuki nagara mo korogari nagara mo

Kasabuta darake no jyounetsu wo wasuretaku nai

Otona ni narenai bokura no

Tsuyogari wo hitotsu kiite kure

Nige mo kakure mo shinai kara

Waraitai yatsu dake warae

Semete tayori nai bokura no

Jiyuu no me wo tsumitoranai de

Mizu wo ageru sono yakume wo

Hataseba iindarou?

It was Kasabuta, the opening song of Gash Bell. This does not bring failure.

Kiyomaro : "It was a nice song. You sing it nicely."

Gash : "Yeah! You are good!"

Nazo Nazo Hakase : "You have feelings toward the lyrics of this song, aren't you? You singing it with emotions fit into the song, and your intonations does not sway. There are nothing more I could say that you are the best candidate for the vocals."

Dufo : "Alright"

Upon this 'judgement', a word which in here means 'something that takes awful lot of space, usually used by stupid authors named rankiribe to prolong his awful fic while on the other hand he already decided who will what', Zeon are chosen to be the vocals. Man, my definition of judgement is long!

"Well, looks like we got ourselves a singer…" Said Kiyomaro as he closing his ears against Zeon's prideful laugh, "We should move to the next. Who want to play the bass?"

Both Gash and Dufo raise their hand. Kiyomaro also raise his hand. He cannot sing good, so he decided to be a bass instead. Zeon and Nazo Nazo Hakase, who keeps irritating me to the last vein of anger by not letting me call him Nazo, will be the judge.

Note : I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY BASS OR ITS COUNTERPARTS.

Kiyomaro's turn. Even though Kiyomaro knows the location of the keys, how to do them, by lack of training, he could not do good. As the music notes passing and passing, it is not seldom he produces jarring sounds. For a newbie, he wasn't bad.

Gash's turn…It was too horrific to describe. Let's just say after the first five minutes, anyone who hearing for longer will spent their remaining life time being deaf. There was nothing worse than Gash's attempt at playing guitar. He SUCKS.

Dufo's turn. He continue to surprise even Nazo Nazo Hakase. The notes played by him flow like drops of water on a river, it flows like it should be. No jarring sound, no delay, and no mismatches. It was perfect. The rythm is perfect.

Dufo chosen as the lead bass, he also a singer. Kiyomaro is the second bass player. Gash are dumped into the trash can…Just kidding. He was dumped into the river. Done deal.

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMAAAAAAROOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Gash as he carried along the fast streams of the river. Just Kidding. He is not dumped. Now the remains of the group are discussing what role will Gash plays.

"Not to worry!"

Gash then let out his favorite toy. "Vulcan will do the singing for me!"

"Look here Gash…It's not like Vulcan will do any good…" Kiyomaro shuts up his voice. Gash bringing something weird. Something he's sure is his specialty.

The music props is two long sticks, as long as Gash's height, carry about ten or so Vulcan on it. On a closer look, each Vulcan has different attire. A fixed set of them carries familiar stuffs, though. There's a set of three Vulcans with mouth made by acorn seeds. Another set of three reveals a stone-made hands. With a simple wiggle on the staff, an unique sound is made. By doing various motions Kiyomaro describes as 'when you realize you want to pee so badly' on the sticks, an unique melody with its own unique rhythm appears. With another set of motion, the prop could produce the rhythm on Blues-type songs. Another one reveal a Jazz rhythm.

"I could produce various sounds with this!" Said Gash, as he shows his unusual music props to the other, "I practice using this a lot with Umagon as my spectator. It sounds disgustng at first. After the first try, Umagon is never seen again hearing my play, only Tio."

Meanwhile, at Umagon and Kafka Sunbeam's house…

"Umagon!"

"Umagon! Could you come here?"

"Umagon! I'm calling you!"

"Umagon?"

"Oh My GOD! You're DEAF! So GROOVY!"

Back at Kiyomaro's house…

"So, it is decided!" Said Kiyomaro as he shows the line up to the other four people:

Zeon : The singer

Dufo : The lead bass and the singer

Kiyo : The second bass

Gash : The unique. (Gash says it was Vulcanica)

Nazo : Drummer

"Hey! Who told you that you could call me Nazo?" Ask Nazo Nazo Hakase, deeming an explanation. Kiyomaro pointing to me.

And thus, the band was formed. The songs are not yet made, the appearance is not even thought by me, and I never found a good name! But anyway, the band was made.

Author's Notes: All references to the Rolling Stones is from Wikipedia. I also seek for a good band name. Review please! And within each review, please suggest the band's name! Or a song you made by your own you want to put here. This WORST fic still got a lot to do. And yeah, A REALLY WEIRD STORY is on hiatus.