Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.
Falling Walls
Part 1: Point of View
This story is part of the episode, A House Divided. It is a look inside their thoughts as well as including missing scenes with an expanded ending. I make reference to a few things that happened in Virginia City which can be found in my short Renewing Bonds. You don't have to read that one to read this one but it may be helpful.
The train window was streaked with rain blurring the scenery. The trees were nothing more than abstract blurs as the train whizzed past. The mountains appeared only as huge chunks of brown and green, indistinguishable in any shape or form. Everything was fragmented and disjointed, not making sense. In an odd way it was all very comforting because he felt like that himself – fragmented, disjointed as if his life made no sense. He had always had a goal to achieve, a purpose to press on towards. Yet now that was all gone. From the time that he was little, he had wanted nothing more than to be rich. Never would he have to worry about where his next meal was coming from or where he would pass the night. Gold and silver had occupied his thoughts – waking and sleeping- until it consumed every ounce of him. And now it was done. It was over. The money was made, he was wealthy but he still felt empty.
Laying his head back against the seat, Daniel sighed to himself as he thought about the trip that still lay before him. There was a hesitancy inside himself and he wasn't quite sure why. Brian's letter had said that times were tight for the family. Daniel knew that Sully would never ask for help, especially as far as money was concerned which made Brian's letter all the more intriguing in Daniel's mind. The truth was he had more than enough money and he was happy to help Sully out in whatever way he could. He recognized the fact that much of his success in Virginia City was due to his best friend working beside him non-stop for a month. Thoughts of the cave in rushed back to him as he remembered the way Sully had taken over then and even after to help things get back on track.
It had been almost a year since he had last seen Sully. Their time together had been wonderful and when Sully left, he had honestly missed him. The chance to see him again had at first excited him and he felt a deep obligation to help Sully out in whatever way he could. This wasn't the first time he had thought about visiting. Sully had asked him to come for Christmas and then right after his daughter was born but Daniel had always found excuses. While Daniel was curious about Sully's family, he couldn't shake the feelings of despondency he felt at the thought of them.
Family had never been important to him the way it was to Sully. All he had cared about was finding gold, making money. Yet now that he had done that and accomplished all he had dreamed of, he found himself feeling more empty and alone than ever. He couldn't help but think that seeing Sully with his family would only intensify that feeling. Several times on the trip, he had thought of wiring the money with some made up excuse for why he couldn't visit. He had even made up the excuses, yet at each station something pushed him along. Something stopped him from getting off that train and heading in the other direction.
Now he tried to remain positive as he thought about what the coming days or weeks might hold. It would be good to feel like part of a family he told himself repeatedly. Maybe he could even be like an uncle to the children as Sully certainly regarded him as a brother. After hearing so many wonderful things about Michaela it would be nice to finally meet her. She sounded like a fictional person to hear Sully talk about her and he thought it would be interesting to see if she came anywhere close to Sully's description.
And then there was Colorado Springs, itself. It had been eleven years since he had seen that sleepy little town. How had it changed, he wondered. Would he even recognize the place anymore? Would the mercantile look the same? Would Loren still be his old grouchy self? The train would take him all the way into Colorado Springs. That in itself was amazing. He could still remember when the stage came through only once every two weeks. It would be fun to see the progress in the place he had once called home.
His hand went down to his lapel as he patted the envelope in his pocket. Sully's money was in that envelope, money that he wanted Sully to have but getting him to take it was going to be tricky. He hoped that he would simply accept it as payment for all his hard word. Yet Daniel knew it would probably take some convincing on his part. If times were as tight as Brian made it out to be, this might be easier than he thought. After Sully had done so much for him, he wanted to be able to repay him even in this small way. Yes this trip would be enjoyable he told himself. Reconnecting with Sully, meeting his family... it would be wonderful. Still his stomach clenched in anxious anticipation as the train traveled ever closer to Colorado Springs.
Sully opened the front door of the homestead and stepped inside, breathing in the smell of home. His eyes lingered over the familiar surroundings as a smile spread across his face. It was good to finally be home even if he had to ride most of the night to get here. Quickly he made his way over to the stairs, anxious to see his wife. The first time they had ever been away from her for any period of time was when he had gone to Virginia City to help Daniel set up the mine. They had been newlyweds then and they found that time apart to be sheer torture. In his mind that hadn't changed one bit, he hated being away from Michaela. He longed to hold her close and he was glad that he had managed to arrive home in the early dawn before the children awoke.
Hastily he ascended the stairs, two at a time before stopping just outside of their bedroom door. Fingering the wood, he thought about how he might greet her. He hoped she was still in bed and he could simply join her there. The thought of her had his heart beating quickly within his chest. His mind vividly recalled their last morning together before he left and his body was already reacting to the memory. Opening the door slowly, so as not to rouse her if she was asleep, he entered glancing quickly in her direction.
Michaela was still in bed. Rays of the early morning sun broke through the window, illuminating her face in a heavenly glow. The white of her nightgown and the bed clothes only served to accent her angelic appearance. The sight of her chestnut locks splayed out on either side made Sully long to run his fingers through her hair. She stirred, sitting up to watch a familiar form drop his pack into the rocking chair.
"Sully?" she asked as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. He turned and smiled at her admiring once again her breathtaking beauty. "You're home." Her voice held a million sentiments and Sully was enjoying each one. As if there was not another moment to be lost, Sully closed the distance between them as he pushed the door closed. Leaning down, he cupped her cheek in his hand and gave her a gentle good morning kiss. "I didn't expect you until this afternoon," Michaela said wistfully, delighted that Sully actually stood in their bedroom.
"Rode all night. Didn't wanna spend another night sleepin' in Manitou." Sully took off his gloves and jacket as he spoke, his eyes roving over her face drinking in their fill. From the first moment he had seen her, she had taken his breath away and still it continued to happen, especially at moments like this.
"You finished the fence?" Michaela asked with a touch of concern in her voice.
Sully nodded happily. He looked pleased with himself. "They paid me five dollars extra for doin' it early." Sitting down on the end of the bed, he smiled up at her again anticipating what he hoped was to come.
Shaking her head slightly, Michaela gave him a weak smile. "You've been working so hard."
Sully couldn't help but let out a light chuckle. "Look who's talkin'."
"Yes, but I don't have to leave home when I do," Michaela said as she averted her eyes from his gaze.
Sully turned from her, wishing that things were different. He let out a deep sigh feeling the pressure descend upon him once more. "Gotta go where the work is, Michaela. We got a mortgage to cover."
"I know ... And I feel so guilty about it, Sully. If I hadn't burned everything at the clinic – " Her voice cracked as she spoke which immediately broke Sully's resolve. She wasn't upset with him, she was upset with herself.
"Hey, whatever happens to you, happens to me. We're in this together," he reminded her. Giving her a coy smile, he leaned over once more. 'Sides, I don't mind the hard work. It's the sleepin' apart I can't get used to." He watched as she turned towards him, her mouth eagerly seeking his. He hungrily caught her top lip in between his, before pulling away reluctantly. Their eyes locked as Michaela smiled demurely.
"I'm glad you're home," she whispered sending shivers down Sully's spine.
"Only place I wanna be," he assured her. His hand went up to stroke her cheek and he couldn't resist letting it wander down her neck lingering over the softness there. He smiled at her seductively, readying himself to claim her lips once again.
Michaela had other things on her mind though. Taking Sully by surprise, she moved to get out of the bed as she sucked her bottom lip in between her front teeth. There was so much to do she thought to herself.
Sully was confused by her behavior. He thought they had been on the same wave length. The looks… the heated kiss… It wasn't like Michaela to not want to reconnect as soon as possible whenever he came home from being away. "Where ya goin'?" he asked as his eyes followed her.
She turned and looked at him. "I need to bake," she stated rather matter of fact.
"Bake? " Sully asked looking rather perplexed. He settled himself more firmly on the edge of the bed and looked up at her."And straighten the house." Sully gave her another odd look making her think he had forgotten. "Our guest comes today," she reminded him.
"Daniel?" he asked surprisingly as he moved to take off his shoes. "You don't have to make a fuss over him." He lifted his arm to touch her shoulder wanting to draw her back towards the bed.
"Sully, he's your oldest and dearest friend. I want to make a good impression," she explained as a nervous glint appeared in her eye.
Sully stroked her arm reassuringly. "Ya don't have to worry 'bout that. Daniel's like family. "
"Exactly," Michaela replied moving quickly away from him to get dressed. She missed the look of dejection and surrender. Her mind was too preoccupied with all she still needed to do. Sully knew how she was and he loved her even when she was fretting about silly things like this. She had been an absolute mess when her friend Miriam had visited so why should he expect anything different now. Yet he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that his overtures had been rejected. He stretched out along the bed and watched her dress, smiling at her every few minutes when she turned to look at him.
"Why don't you try to get a little sleep?" she suggested as she pinned her hair up. "The children shouldn't be up for awhile and afterwards I'll try to keep them quiet."
Sully nodded and closed his eyes, relaxing back against the pillows. He heard the door open and close as she left the room but still his thoughts remained on her. The tiredness from a few hours earlier had completely dissipated now and he didn't feel much like lying in bed. Well that wasn't exactly true. He didn't feel much like sleeping. Maybe, he thought to himself, maybe I can convince her to come back upstairs with me. Quickly he rose from the bed to find Michaela.
Michaela had already pulled out the things she needed and was just beginning to measure out the flour when she heard the footsteps on the stairs. She assumed it was Brian and she spoke without even turning around.
"Brian, do you mind milking the cow first thing? I need some milk for this recipe."
Sully said nothing but crept up behind her, wrapping his hands around her waist. Dipping his head low, he plied kisses to the exposed area just above the collar of her shirt. "Sully," Michaela scolded playfully. "I thought you were in bed."
"I was feelin' a little lonely," he replied running his hand up her body, grazing the side of her breast.
Michaela turned in his arms, suddenly feeling the need to make up for their time apart. His hand went to the back of her neck as she looked up at him. The tip of her tongue came out to wet her lips as her eyes locked with his. "I missed ya," he whispered, his breath stirring the escaped wisps of hair.
"I missed you too." Sully placed light kisses to the sides of her mouth and then pulled back teasingly.
"Good, I was startin' to wonder." His voice was light and cheerful as he smiled down at his wife's flushed cheeks. She laughed lightly, wrapping her arms securely around his back. One hand caressed his skin through his shirt, while the other boldly traveled lower stopping just shy of his backside. Sully smiled at the desire he found written on her face. Pushing her back up against the table, he kissed her again. This time the kiss was heated as she eagerly opened her mouth to him, her tongue seeking his. Lost in the moment, Sully lifted her slightly setting her down on the table, his hand already running back down her body. Michaela arched her neck as he ran a trail of kisses to her earlobe which he lovingly took into his mouth in one swift motion. One leg came up to wrap around the bend of his knee and Sully reached down working his hand under the edge of her skirt and moving it up her leg.
Michaela gasped in surprise and delight and she pulled away slightly so that she could claim his lips again with an even greater fervency. His hand was on her knee now and he wasn't even bothering to roll down her stockings. Still he moved higher and higher, eliciting goose bumps along her flesh. When he touched the bare skin at the top of her stocking, she moaned in his mouth and he felt himself losing control.
"Ma," Brian's voice called down from upstairs. "I can't find my belt. Do ya know where it is?"
Quickly they broke apart, Sully pulling her off the table. "Umm… I think it's in your top dresser drawer," Michaela called back, her eyes locked with Sully's. Sully smiled at the deep blush that had settled on her cheeks as he willed his own body to calm down.
Reaching his thumb up, he brushed the pad across her reddened lips smiling to himself. "Tonight," he whispered at her ear and she eagerly nodded her head before giving him a final kiss.
Sully was still seething from the brief encounter with Preston but he tried to hide it as he walked with his family to greet the arriving train. He knew they were late on the mortgage payment and he knew that Preston had a right to his money but it was the way the banker always went about things that bothered him. It was as if he purposely tried to make him look bad in front of as many people as possible. Sully already felt bad enough being away from home so much and knowing that Michaela was very worried about the situation. He didn't need Preston making it worse, worrying her even more.
The train whistle made him jump and he shook his head trying to concentrate on anything but the banker. Already the train was pulling into the station and Sully couldn't help but quicken his pace, anxious to introduce his family to his oldest friend. Sully looked up at the disembarking passengers as he crossed the railroad track and couldn't help but smile at what he saw. There stood Daniel dressed in a suit. Already, the thoughts of Preston were gone and he eagerly strode forward to greet his friend. "Daniel," he called to get the man's attention.
Daniel turned his eyes meeting Sully's as he descended the steps to the platform. A light smile was on his lips as he moved close to his old friend.
"Well, look at you," Daniel said giving a light shake of his head. He had seen Sully dressed like this when he had come to Virginia City but that didn't mean that he was used to it.
"What's this?" Sully pulled on Daniel's lapels. This was the first time he had ever seen his friend in a suit.
"It's called a suit, Sully," he said warmly as the two friends moved to embrace each other heartily, both laughing at the light teasing. Sully moved away and smiled widely, still having a hard time believing that Daniel was actually here. Daniel also smiled finally relaxing somewhat as the pressure that had been building during the train ride slowly dissipated.
Michaela couldn't help but smile as she watched the two of them. The suit had surprised her as well. Sully had always described him so like himself that Michaela had fully expected to see someone in buckskins step off the train. Of course she knew how foolish that was considering Sully only wore them because of his own connections with the Cheyenne which Daniel had never been a part of.
Daniel turned to face the family. "Sully ain't used to seein' me like this," he laughed.
"Ya look good, ya do" Sully replied slapping him once again on the shoulder. He wasn't necessarily referring to the suit but simply the chance to see him once again. The excitement on both of their parts was clearly palpable and Sully eagerly turned to introduce Daniel to the family. "C'mon, let's meet ev'rybody." They walked to the small group assembled only feet away. Daniel felt his stomach flutter. This was it the moment he would finally meet Sully's family.
Matthew held out his hand as they approached. "Matthew Cooper," he said in greeting."Our sheriff," Sully said with a touch of pride.
"I see. Has Sully told ya 'bout all the trouble we used to cause?" Daniel smiled over at Sully who took the opportunity to give him a playful jab on the arm. They exchanged knowing glances as their minds raced back to their youth.
"Musta slipped 'is mind," Matthew replied looking down almost sheepishly at his gloves. It was hard to imagine Sully as a troublemaker, well not in the way say Hank or Jake might be anyways.
Daniel turned his eyes stopping briefly on the woman who stood next to Matthew. His eyes grew large for a second before he hastily looked to the side, to see a young boy. "You must be Brian," he said warmly, giving him a secret smile. "Hello, sir," Brian returned rather formally. He extended his hand to shake Daniel's. A sudden joy flooded through him at the thought of what Daniel's arrival might mean for his family but he tried to remain calm, not wanting to alert anyone to his secret.
"Daniel, Brian," he corrected him. "Y'know, your pa wrote me all 'bout ya. In fact, he even sent me some of your articles." Sully smiled on proudly, his eyes focused on Brian's face.
'Ya did? "he said looking briefly at Sully."Yep," Sully replied smiling at the young boy who was giving Daniel an enamored look. "Colleen's at school, but here's her baby sister." Sully lifted her from Michaela' arms and held her out to Daniel who readily took her.
Lifting the little one in the air, he smiled up at the baby recognizing instantly that this was truly Sully's daughter. "She is an angel Sully." He couldn't resist placing a soft kiss to her forehead. For a moment, time seemed to stand still and he imagined he was holding his own child. A hot pain shot through his chest but he suppressed it refusing to allow jealousy to overtake him.
"She is," Sully readily agreed taking Katie back from him. Taking a deep breath, he smiled widely. This was the moment he had been waiting for ever since he had first heard that Daniel was coming. Finally, he was going to introduce his oldest friend to Michaela. "Daniel, this is my wife, Michaela," he said proudly glancing over at her.
Daniel allowed his eyes to settle on her form once more and he instantly felt as if the air had been drained from his lungs. He had seen her picture before when Sully had showed it to him in Virginia City but somehow it was completely different coming face to face with her. Quickly, he lifted his hand to take off his hat. Her presence alone was overpowering and he felt defeated by it. What was he doing? He held out his hand to her and opened his mouth slightly only to remain silent.
Michaela smiled up at him nervously but took his hand in her own. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Daniel." Her voice seemed to jar him back to reality as he found his words again. "Pleasure's all mine, m'am" he replied smiling sweetly. The smile faded but his eyes remained locked on her face as he felt overpowered by the beauty he saw there.
Sully was oblivious to Daniel's state and he smiled on. "Waited a long time for ya two to meet each other." Daniel heard Sully's words but they felt so far away and distant. Still he stood captivated, wondering if she noticed that he had continued to stare at her. "Let's go home," Sully suggested looking from Daniel to Michaela and back again. As if coming out of a trance, Daniel finally looked away as Sully's voice called him back to reality.
"I'll get your bags," Matthew intoned.
"Thank ya, sheriff," Daniel returned turning to follow Sully while being careful not to look at Michaela again right away.
Brian lay back in bed looking up at the ceiling. Dinner had been wonderful, more wonderful than he had ever imagined it could be. Daniel was great. Sort of like an uncle, he thought to himself. The stories he had told about himself and Sully, about mining. His life certainly was exciting. Yet the excitement at Daniel's arrival had more to do with the certainty that Daniel would help.
Turning over on his side, he lifted his hand to turn down his light. He hated it when Sully had to go away, even for a few days. He hated seeing the worried looks they exchanged when the subject of money was brought up. The other day when they had gone to the general store, he had noticed the look Mr. Bray had given his mother when she had asked to have the purchase placed on her account. Money was always an issue he thought to himself. He had been young, very young when his father had left but even then he had realized it was a problem.
The image of his mother sitting at the kitchen table, her head in her hands as tears flowed down her cheeks was burned indelibly upon his memory. He had tried to comfort her in the only way that a small child knows. Wrapping his tiny arms around her back, he had hugged her tightly. His mother had picked him up and held him against her cheek assuring him that everything was going to be okay.
He still remembered how his ma and Sully had fought over a window for the new house even though they had tried to keep it from the children. Brian knew that money was an issue even then. It had been the same way for Matthew. Always putting off his wedding until he could earn more and then it was too late. And now, he really couldn't imagine things getting much tighter. Colleen felt guilty about taking their money for school. She had told Brian that but still Sully and Dr. Mike had insisted that she continue with her schooling.
If Sully found out that he had written Daniel – that he had asked Daniel to help, he wouldn't like it. Yet Daniel hadn't said anything or even let on that Brian had written him for which he was grateful. Hopefully, Daniel would offer the money soon and then Sully wouldn't have to go away anymore. Rolling onto his back, he looked out the window of his room and smiled at the millions of stars twinkling down at him.
"God," he whispered into the darkness. "Thank ya for bringin' Daniel here to help and please let Sully take the money so he can stay home. I don't want ma and him to be worried anymore. Amen." With that he closed his eyes slowly drifting off to sleep.
Just down the hall, Daniel was finding sleep rather difficult. A million thoughts ran through his mind as he contemplated how he was going to get Sully to take the money from him. Yet competing with those thoughts were many others. He had been relieved when he had felt like such a natural fit with the family. Things had not been awkward in the least and he felt as if this was the place he belonged. From Katie's gentle coos to Brian's curiosity, he had thoroughly enjoyed every minute he had spent with the children.
How strange he thought to himself, thinking back to his time traveling. He had been so nervous, so unsure of coming. That all seemed like a distant dream or memory. He always forgot what it was like to be with Sully, teasing and joking with him. Never had he laughed so much as he had tonight. Sully truly was the brother he never had.
Yet even as he lay here thinking about the fun and laughter, he couldn't stop the loneliness that threatened to creep in once again. It was hard not to remember how empty his life was when others lives were so rich and full. Again the searing pang of jealousy ripped across his chest and this time, he found it much harder to ignore. Treading on dangerous territory, he let his thoughts skip to Michaela momentarily.
She was exquisite – everything Sully had told him and more. Truly he had never met someone so beautiful, so elegant, so refined… so smart. The way she doted on Katie was amazing. The resemblance between the two was striking and it was hard to look at Katie and not see Michaela. The way she looked at Sully was incredible. He could literally feel the heat of their glances and he wondered if Sully was even fully aware of what he had. Shaking his head, he threw off this last thought. Sully was nothing if not grateful for Michaela, he knew that. If a woman like Michaela ever looked at him like that, he would fall down on his knees at that moment and ask her to marry him.
Turning onto his side, he turned down the light; hoping sleep would not elude him tonight. The bed felt good after several nights spent on the train. Again his mind returned to Michaela but he pushed the thoughts away. He needed to come up with a way to have Sully accept the money. Maybe he could offer to loan it to him, he thought to himself. Yes that was it- he would try that tomorrow.
Sully sat on the bed taking his shoes off as he recounted Daniels gracious offer to Michaela. Michaela sat at the vanity already in her nightgown brushing out her hair. "I couldn't take it," he finished, moving to stand behind her. "I know he meant well but I just don't feel right about it." Slowly he lifted his shirt over his head, catching Michaela's eyes in the mirror.
"It was very decent and generous of him to offer," Michaela replied somewhat quietly. It wasn't that she necessarily thought that Sully should take the money but simply that she knew how tight money really was and how much that money could help.
Sully saw the troubled look on her face and tried to reassure her. "Robert E's got more work for me, Michaela -- an' I'll keep checkin' around." Laying his hand on her shoulder, he gave it a light squeeze.
Michaela nodded weakly. "We'll be fine," she replied but her tone was weak as if she was trying to convince herself.
"Here let me." Sully took the brush from her and began to run it through her long tresses. "I know you're worried Michaela," he said watching her eyes in the mirror. "But I promise we'll get through this just like we got through the other tough times."
"I know," she whispered looking up suddenly to prevent a tear from falling. "I know I can't change anything by worrying but it's hard not to."
"Maybe ya need somethin' to take your mind off it for a little while," Sully said suggestively. Setting the brush down on her vanity, he moved his hand to the top button of her gown. Michaela leaned her head back against him, trying to draw strength there. She felt his hand slip inside of her gown and she tried to relax at his touch. "You're awful tense."
"I am," she agreed smiling up at him.
"Why don't ya come to bed with me and I'll see if I can't help ya relax." Michaela felt her cheeks blush but she instantly smiled as thoughts of this morning raced through her mind. Sully offered her his hand which she readily accepted as he led her across the room towards the bed.
Hope you enjoyed the first part of my new short… more soon!