Edit 06/04/16: Banished all the second hand embarrassment from the author's notes. I was young and foolish. Any future major edits will be noted here.

Blindfolded

One

'Jennifer...Jennifer...God, I hate my name. It doesn't fit me at all. Jennifer makes you think of a perfect girl who gets all the things she wants and is a kind, generous person. Yeah, that fits me real fuckin' well.'

Looking out the window of the train, Jennifer Tate narrowed her eyes at the faint reflection she could see in the glass. She sighed and looked straight ahead again, before looking down at the red notebook in her lap.

'My mother could have been a Jennifer...but I never met her. The mother I know, the one who took care of me even though I really wasn't her's, was Alice. That was all anyone could see her as. I want to be seen as anything but a Jennifer.

'God, I hate her now. Who leaves their daughter before she's 18? Well...besides my dad. Hell, I'm not even 17 yet. But no, she had to dismiss going to the doctor. I bet she never saw it coming...

'She kept going on about all of this shit I didn't know about. People in Tulsa named Ponyboy and Christine's eyes and Dallas's ring... That's why I'm on a one way train to Tulsa, fuckin', Oklahoma. To find some guy named Ponyboy who, for all I know, may not exist! How comforting is that?'

Jennifer stepped off of the train, backpack in place and armed with a name in a place she'd never been to. Deciding that she should walk around and ask some friendly looking people in bakeries first, Jennifer set off with a sense of determination...but she could feel that twinge of hopelessness that she hadn't felt in a long time. She had a zero point one chance of getting anywhere and she knew it.

But Jennifer liked to try and do the impossible. It was almost like a hobby to her.

xxxx

"Ugh, my feet are killing me," Jennifer muttered, sitting down on a curb and holding her backpack close. She guessed she had been walking for almost two hours. No Ponyboy. The batteries to her walkman were dying too.

Jennifer sat, wondering if maybe she should just go back to Chicago. Back to her "Uncle Paul". She sighed and picked up a rock and realized, as she chucked it into the street, she would have to call said uncle to see what he knew.

She dug around in her pockets and pulled out a handful of change. Jennifer guessed it would be enough. It should only be a few cents for a long distance call from a payphone. She'd use a cell phone, but she thought they were ugly, bulky and just very inconvenient. So, she didn't own one.

So, she put her mission to find Ponyboy on hold and began her mini-mission to find a payphone. She supposed if she ended up finding Ponyboy, she could find her father and let him know his wife was dead. Jennifer didn't know if he would be all that devastated. He was never around much before and he wasn't around much now.

It took awhile to find a phone that actually worked and didn't have a homeless person hanging around it. Jennifer pulled out a handkerchief, one she carried around for things like this, and used it to cover her hand as she picked up the receiver. She wished there was a way she could avoid having it touch her face and not have trouble hearing.

Sighing, she dropped the coins into the phone and muttered the number under her breath as she dialed.

"1-630-628..."

Jennifer bit at her fingernails as she listened to the phone ring. The time zones weren't that different, so she knew someone would be home. She was worried about what her Uncle would say. She didn't have much time for yelling.

"Hello, Lillian Tate speaking."

"Lil? Where's your Dad?"

"...Jen? Jesus, where the hell have you been? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just get me your dad. I'm on a payphone," Jennifer said, straining to keep her tone of voice controlled. Lillian sighed and Jennifer could hear a muffled 'it's for you', before the phone was passed.

"Hello?"

"Hey...it's Jennifer."

"Where the hell are you?"

"Road trip. Look, does 'Ponyboy' mean anything to you?"

"Ponyboy? Yeah, that was Sodapop's younger brother."

"Who?"

"You know, Soda. Your grandmother and I both told you about him. Connie too. Everyone loved Soda...I wonder how he's doing."

"Well, do you know where he lives?"

Jennifer bit her lip as her Uncle fell silent. He was probably debating on telling her. "Yeah. He should still live in the same place he was livin' in a few years ago. I'll give you his number."

'I remembered the street the phone was on before walking around for a bit. I had to find a bit more change, but it wasn't hard. Of course, it took a bit of will just to pick it up from the ground.

'During that time I did a little thinking and searched through the expanse of this notebook that I've carried around for a few years now. I finally found some things mentioning Sodapop and it stirred my memory a bit.

'Sodapop Curtis was a friend of my mother and uncle. He met Paul when they were in Vietnam together and one day Soda had the urge to write to his friend's younger sister. Apparently, Mom and Soda both appreciated the extra comfort, because they continued sending letters back and forth.

'Connie always said she thought it was the most romantic thing she ever heard of. I find it corny, but, what ever. Times change.

'Anyway, Soda was shot and had to be sent back home before finishing his year of service. Mom went to visit him a few days after New Years. They hit off okay, since they became better friends than they had been before. The most I ever got was that Mom visited and helped Soda finish up highschool. They didn't talk about what happened after that.

'And I never asked.'

Jennifer was chewing on her lower lip, counting the rings of the phone. Four...ah crap!

"Y'ellow."

"Uh...hi...is...is Sodapop there?"

"Who's this?"

"Uh, my name's Jennifer. My mom-"

"You aren't Sandy's kid are you?"

"Huh? No, I don't know anyone named Sandy. My mom's name was Alice."

"Alice?"

"Yeah, Alice Ta-"

"Look...is this some kind of joke? I know for a fact she never had a kid."

"No, why would I joke about something like this? I was just wondering if you could help me find-"

Jennifer paused and listened to the dial tone on the other end. "He hung up on me...that bastard! I thought he was supposed to be nice!" Jennifer yelled, slamming the phone down and storming away. She paused as she walked past an apartment building and looked at the doorstep. A phone book. Jennifer smirked.

"Whether Sodapop likes it or not, I'm gonna find Ponyboy."