Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto... how can you be so sure? Have you seen Naruto kissing Sasuke senseless? No? Then that is proof. Also, this is my first Naruto fic… so please bear with me. I love constructive criticism.

Labored breath filled his ears while he crouched, waiting. Peering through the gloomy darkness, he grimaced. He had to loose his pursuers and loose them fast. Unconsciously, his eyes ran over his flack jacket and the hidden pocket where the scroll rested safely out of sight. The masked ANBU grimaced thinking about a retrieval mission deemed fool proof but with enough challenge to provide even the village dead last with a good test run. As expected with his kind of luck, the 'easy mission' took a nasty turn for the worst the moment those 3 S-class missing nins appeared out of the blue to secure his target. Tsunade-baachan's words rang eerily in his ear as he pressed a trembling hand to his side in an effort to stem the bleeding. 'You are on your own for this, Naruto. This is a mission rank you will be able to work with relative ease. I expect you to deliver as always. I'm counting on the successful completion of this solo mission to be able to twist the Elders' into allowing you higher ranking missions. I can't have one of my best shinobi placed on restricted missions, can I? Is that clear? I really need you not to mess up Naruto, ok?'

A swaying branch snagged his gaze and he stiffened. 'This is not the time to be distracted! Get it together, Naruto!' Blinking quickly in an effort to clear his fading vision he scanned his surroundings, cold sweat running down his spine. His adrenaline heightened senses tuned into everything that moved around him until he could see where every last insect and animal was located in relation to his position. A bird took flight in the distance and his body tensed. The unnatural stillness around him set his teeth on edge. His instincts screamed danger, beware! With the knowledge came the unnerving certainty that if he had to face them again he was doomed. The odds against him were not the best, even if they hadn't succeeded in injuring him already. Three S-class missing nins against one almost Chunin, even if he was the Jinchuuriki, the odds were very much against him. 'Typical.' He thought ruefully. The picture was grim indeed and it wouldn't get any better with blood loss starting to affect him. 'Why isn't Kyuubi dealing with these wounds? It's not like they are unusual. This should have been dealt with long ago; specially the bleeding.' His hand gripped the tree bark, instinctively steadying his stance while he waited. They were coming.

A flurry of airborne kunai hurtling towards him brought his body to life. Dodging instinctively, he started an evasive maneuver to buy himself some sorely needed time. The hunt for his life was on and he was not so sure of its outcome. His only certainty was this: He was not going out without a fight. After all he was not the surprise specialist for nothing. 'Kage Bunshin!' He whispered and a satisfying pop announced the creation of his clones. They weren't as plentiful as usual given his current state but he needed to make haste. There was no time for finesse and technique.

'Diversion! I need a diversion. Please!' He thought, feeling desperation nipping at the edges consciousness when it registered his clones were eliminated with incredible ease. Rummaging for ideas inside his brain, he weighted his options. The trees flew by as he jumped from limb to limb evading kunai and shuriken with increasing difficulty. He was so close to the end of his mission, so close! Burning tears of rage threatened to spill as he evaded sluggishly a new hail of shuriken. Konohagakure was only three days away and there he was, almost dead like a true dobe! Dodging an evil looking knife, his dulling senses never saw the half-broken limb until it was too late and he tumbled to the ground in a noisy heap. His pained body connected with the ground with a dull thud and for a few seconds the only thing that registered was fiery pain on his side. Out of breath, he struggled to rise to his knees. If he was going to die, he would stare at his enemies on the face and spit their faces in defiance. He was Uzumaki Naruto and he was going down with a bang!

"Finally, we wondered when the venom would start taking over your body. I was starting to fear we were dealing with a demon of sorts." The tallest man cackled from behind his facemask. "You see, Anbu-neko-san, the kunai we have been using are steeped in a wonderful cocktail of my own invention whose main ingredient is the poisonous sap of a little known plant in the Suna region. Not even youkai, with their famed regenerative powers, are able to leave completely unscathed when it's used against them." He fell silent allowing his eager companion to continue if he so chose.

"We must congratulate you for your stamina and strength, Anbu-san. It's a shame the hunt is over now. We expected you to keel over miles ago. Either the poison or the blood loss would do you in. You see? The sap contains anticoagulants too… so your wounds won't stop bleeding… It's quite useful, nee?" The red-haired mocked him drawing closer. His hands were kept busy fiddling with his kunai while his eyes roamed his prey's body for signals of distress. "Come on, look at me! Man, I want to see his face! I love those last desperate moments before they realize it's hopeless to struggle! I'm of half a mind to keep him alive to toy with him some more. It's been a while since we last were able to play with one such as this." The redhead was fretting from one foot to the other, his poor chakra control overcome by sheer recklessness. Nobody expected him to live as long as he had.

The older man in the group neared the barely breathing Anbu lying on his side. "Running around like that only served to spread the poison quicker on your system, you fool. You are history, Anbu. Predator turned prey... Poetic, wouldn't you say?" he crouched beside the golden haired youth with half a mind to take off his mask. Frowning, he decided to spare his enemy this last ignominy, realizing this was a man barely out of his teens, if at all. Strong, resilient, nimble, he had the makings of a great ninja. It was a shame actually, so much talent and potential. 'So young. Such a pity!' He shrugged, straightening and nodded before taking a step back.

"Die!" ordered the redhead with the sloppy chakra signature. An avalanche of kunai rained over the unprotected Anbu and the youth breathed no more. Coming closer, with an overly confident smirk, the redhead kicked a lax foot. A popping sound and suddenly the dead shinobi turned into a log with a paper scroll pinned to it. "Ninjutsu?" he spat with disgust and the gray haired one burst out laughing. 'Outnumbered, bleeding, hopeless and still he outwits us. He truly deserves to be called Anbu. I hope we meet again, Anbu-neko-san.' He thought with satisfaction while his companion cursed.

Laughter followed Naruto as he ran. He hadn't been able to leave unscathed; to enhance the illusion enough to fool such high ranking enemies, he'd needed to shed his own blood. His thigh throbbed with effort but he didn't spare it a glance. It would shatter his concentration to see what he could already feel: his skin slick with his own blood. He could feel it bleed liberally from a self-inflicted wound in his upper thigh. 'Apparently you miscalculated the depth of the blade, baka and now you are bleeding too much. You are really a usurakontachi!' He chided himself lightly, to avoid paying attention to the ever encroaching darkness. Blinking away his double vision, he relied on his instincts to guide him home.

A few hours later, his usual sunny expression was pale and grim. He had taken a few minutes to tie a sloppy bandage around his thigh but it only served as a distraction. He was fighting a losing battle and he knew it. He wouldn't make it. He just knew it. The infamy and the unfairness of it all were like a knife to his belly. 'Why me? Why now? I was so close to reaching my dream. It was so close!' His throat closed and he chose to ignore the tears that burned his eyes. He was not giving in without a struggle. He was going to give it his all. After all it was his way of the ninja and he always followed through with his promises. Nursing his flagging chakra he sent more to his legs, to give himself a well needed push.

Heat parched his throat but still he pressed doggedly on, knowing the poison was spreading but unwilling to take the time to rest. Cramps swamped his body, making his body spasm and contract painfully. These attacks were closer in between now. 'Konoha Naruto. Konoha. Baachan will be awed when she realizes your feat. They won't be able to say you are not fit to be given other missions. He won't have a reason to call you dobe. Come on. They wait. Konoha and Sasuke.' His step faltered but he recuperated enough to avoiding detection. He had to put as much distance between his pursuers and himself. It went against his grain, but he was slowly losing it and he knew it. His nerves were firing phantom signals that made it dangerous to travel at speed. 'Think about the mission. You have to hand in that scroll! Kyuubi, where are you! Do something!' His anguished calls were received with silence. There was a big, silent wall between them now. Usually there was at least active awareness if not an actual voice. Apparently the poison was affecting it inside its cage as much as it was killing him outside of it. The familiar warmth that was Kyuubi was sitting like a heavy rock inside his belly.

The thin, pale figure of the mask-less Anbu stumbled along the rough terrain, spooking wood creatures in its clumsy path. The mask hung drunkenly from the back of its wearer, half forgotten as the urge to breathe became imperative. Still his ever growing awareness of a bothersome voice inside his brain was interpreted as a sure signal he was dying. There it was again, harping, urging him. 'You can't leave that bastard alone again. How can you be Rokudaime if you die here? Move another foot, come on. You can do it. Naruto' a voice urged him to go faster and he pushed himself heedlessly. The voice was right. He had to make it to back to Konoha in less than 3 days. He didn't dare to stop. Death lies in stopping, his instincts cried. Red hot power moved restlessly inside him and he knew Kyuubi was struggling to conquer the poison. 'Yeah, that's it Kyu-chan.' something inside him grumbled angrily. He almost laughed. 'That's it… Get mad… Heal us… we must… live…'

Erratic heartbeat pounded inside his chest and he stumbled once more, only this time it was for real. 'This is it. I can't stand up.' He thought distantly. Unable to stand, he whimpered softly. He was slowly losing consciousness due to blood loss and poisoning and he was powerless to do anything. His brain struggled in a last ditch effort to assure his survival. From somewhere deep inside a spark shone weakly. 'Gamabunta…blood… I have… enough' concentrating feebly, he used his remaining strength to push his body into making the necessary seals to summon his toad friend. Far away, he heard something that resembled the annoying buzz of flies over an overripe watermelon. 'Order, give it an order. Fast…come on!'

He didn't understand what the reason for hurry was anymore. They were safe, the scroll was safe. He was far too tired, moving took too much effort and he deserved to rest. His brain ceased struggling and he felt himself sliding farther into the darkness. 'Come on! Order the damned toad or I will eat it!' the voice prodded with a desperate edge to it. 'Konoha, Naruto! Sasuke, Naruto! You just got him back. He still hasn't realized your worth. He needs to be put in his place and only you can do that. You haven't been able to spar properly. Kick his ass. Damn it, kit, Order him!' The voice wheedled now unwilling to let him sleep. Images and sounds accompanied those words, and a dark-eyed, pale face came forth as if summoned to his mind's eye. A spark of recognition stopped the downward slide. Suddenly the face had a name and he held onto it with both hands. "Sas'ke?" he called distantly and the image of a place brought with that another name. "Konoha." The tight, urgent voice inside his brain relaxed immediately and blessed silence fell upon his pained mind.

'Rest now, kit. That's it…breathe now…easy.' a worried voice crooned softly "Sas'ke… home?" He frowned, unable to feel his body from the chest down. "Kyu… cold… so col'… sas'…ke?' he persisted even tottering on the edge of consciousness. An exasperated voice purred impatiently, wrapping his inner self in soft, warm blankets made of curiously soft fur that both calmed and cradled him as his awareness vanished. 'Soon, kit…soon, rest now.' Gentleness swathed his pain-wrecked body and he slept.

Nekochan: OMG! I made it! Miracle of miracles! I wrote a smut-free fic! It has some shonen ai hints if you squint, but... no sex? I never thought I would see the day... -dances crazily-

Oresama Sasuke: -clears throat- I seem to recall readying Mpreg and Yaoi somewhere in the plot summary, you bitch. That surely means you will make it smutty, unless you are going for Immaculate Conception!

Nekochan: -snickers- do I detect forbidden yearnings and just a bit of jealousy in that statement?

Oresama Sasuke: -glares- Not on your life.

Naruto: Ne, ne... what's this about? Who gets pregnant?

Nekochan: -cackles evilly- Just wait and see my little grasshopper, just wait and see... So, what do you think about Gaara? eh, Sasuke-chan?

Oresama Sasuke: That's it -wraps a possessive arm around his dobe- Touch him and you're dead!