"Oh, Cole. What am I going to do with you? How can two people be so right for each other and yet so wrong for each other? We seem to be opposites, but then we seem to also feel like we're on the same side. If I wasn't a witch, then we could be together. But if I weren't a witch, we would have never met. Lord. What a headache I can get going around in circles with problems like these?" Phoebe said to herself driving home after a long weary day at school. Piper had lent her the Cherokee to run some home and witchy related errands.
Driving with one hand on the wheel and leaning her head on her other arm, Phoebe was paying more attention to her own problems than her driving. Suddenly her concentration was broken by a premonition as she slammed on the brakes killing the car's engine. She saw a woman with dark brown hair turned away from her fainting dead away. Phoebe shook her head, waved the last of the cobwebs and heard the car honking behind her. A lone man driving a Lexus passed on her left honking and yelling something quite nasty.
"Give me some slack. You try driving and seeing the future AT THE SAME TIME!" Pheebs called out after him as the disgruntled driver hit and gas and sped away. "I know that place," thought Phoebe. "But why am I seeing people with fainting spells! I'm a witch not a paramedic!"
Pheebs restarted the car and drove the rest of the way down Prescott Street trying to figure out the psychic warning. Pulling into her driveway Phoebe looked into the backyard of Dan's old house and saw for the second time this woman passing out into her neighbor's rose garden.
Pheebs jumped from her car and ran to assist another apparent innocent person though no heavy-duty evil demon seemed to be lurking around.
"Hey, Miss. Miss," Phoebe, said shaking her gently. "Yoo hoo. Wake up, please! Come on, snap out of it!"
With the poor woman completely unconscious, Pheebs shook her hard and turned the woman over. Dressed very well, she had long brown hair, brown eyes and a petite shapely figure like Phoebe. In fact she appeared to the littlest witch's twin.
"Wow. I never remember Piper telling me I had a twin sister! Wake up. You have some questions to answer, sweetie. Come on now. WAKE UP!" Phoebe said raising her voice and shaking her roughly. "Waking up will be a lot the easier. OK, then I guess it'll be the hard way, sister," said a worried Phoebe as she started to drag the limp body over to her house.
"Bang, crash, galumph!" came sounds from the back storage room.
"Hey, watch out with the liquor! That's the good stuff!" cried out Piper running quickly from her position at the bar to the sound of the calamity.
A sheepish Steve looked up from the floor underneath a case of scotch that to his dismay had landed on top of him. Luckily the avalanche of boxes didn't break too many bottles. "Sorry, Piper. I slipped on the spill there."
"And how did that get on the floor?" asked Piper cocking her head to one side.
"I guess I dropped that bottle of beer, too," he said sheepishly.
"Well, I guess you should have cleaned it up first. Let me get that crate off of you. Be careful, please. That scotch is only seven years old and is too young to die. Come on, up, up!" encouraged Piper. Her nerves were on their very tips today.
"Thanks, Piper. I'm sorry," said Steve as Piper helped him to his feet.
Piper sighed. Her latest hire had not met up to her expectations and he was often out of freezing range.
"OK. It's OK. Just ..be ..more ..careful," Piper said patting his side for the fourth time. "I'll get the broom!" Ring! "Nooo. You get the broom, I'll go get my phone," said Piper heading to the bar.
"Hello, P3. Piper's Palace of Paranoia. Head shrink speaking," exclaimed Piper in a shrill voice while drumming nervously on the bar.
Phoebe chimed in, "Hi, it's me. Why the psychobabble?"
"You won't believe the day I've had here. My newest stock fellow must have trained at the demolition derby. I'm down two cases of booze, a dozen champagne glasses, one staff chair and ALL MY NERVES," said Piper quietly whispering.
"Then you better sit down. Piper," said Phoebe grimacing on her end. Unfortunately because of her power of premonition, Phoebe was also often the bearer of bad news.
"Great!" Piper sat down so hard next to the bar that she startled her bartender. "Shoot me now!"
"Piper! I think you better get home right away. We have a situation," said Phoebe quickly. She really needed some sisterly help with their strange visitor.
"Situation? A situation like an emergency or a situation like Prue broke a nail and is in a tizzy?" asked Piper with a quaint quirk in her voice.
"Oh, it comes more under the strange and weird, but not the power of three category," replied Pheebs.
"PHEEBS, everything comes under the strange and weird banner these days. We could freak out Stephen King with all our problems!" yelled Piper in a stage whisper.
"Piper. I know you don't want to hear this, but I need you to come home. Major sisterly conference needed. The phone lines will burn if I say anymore," said Pheebs crossing her fingers.
"All right, all right!" said Piper throwing up her hands. "I give up. We may not have club when I get back, but I'm coming. Wait, you have MY CAR!"
"Uh, get a cab, please. I better stick around here like superglue," said Phoebes.
"Right! Bye, Pheebs!" said Piper snapping her phone shut very loudly. "I just wonder if the government minds us deducting demon busting as a business expense. Paul!" yelled Piper as she grabbed her purse from under the bar.
"Yea, Pipe," said her assistant manager and part-time bartender.
"Keep a leash on him if you have to. It seems Pheebs can't get along without me. I'll be back for opening. Don't let slippery Steve out of your sight! And call me cab," said Piper thumbing toward the back.
"I'll keep a broom, close at hand," said Paul as she headed up the steps.
Piper came shooting through the front door like she was shot from a cannon.
"This BETTER be good Phoebe! Half my wits have already been shot today!" yelled out Piper as she slammed down her purse.
"Then does that make you half-wit?" asked Phoebe smiling cutely. She couldn't resist because Piper sometimes needed to be taken down a bit when she was in her "peeved-at-the-world" mood.
"Well, I can see you inherited NONE of it," said Piper in disgust. "Now what's our little situation? I have to get back to OUR club!"
"Exhibit A is asleep on the couch!" said Phoebe escorting Piper into the parlor.
"I don't mean to have an inhospitable hostel, but we can't have every innocent in this realm bunking at the Halliwell Hotel. Whoa!" screamed piper. "It's a..a..a..a.."
"Me? Yep, right from the other side of my bathroom mirror! Weird, isn't it?" said Pheebs softly. She still could not get over the resemblance.
Piper threw her hand up to her mouth trying to not gasp. She walked up to the couch looked at the sleeping body closely and poked it to see if it was real.
"Double your pleasure, double your fun!" smiled Phoebe. She watched with interest as Piper walked around the double-ganger.
Piper looked up in shock and then appeared angry. She marched over to Phoebes and started pounding on her chest.
"Wait, what gives?" asked Phoebe fighting her off. "Stop it, Piper!"
"What is that? What is that? What is that? People bring home a dog, a cat, or a bird. Maybe even the odd lizard. But you HAVE to bring home a PHOEBE?" yelled Piper as she stopped hitting her and broke down in Phoebe's arms.
"Um, I was just trying to help someone. Why take it out on me, Piper? What's really wrong, sweetie?" asked Phoebe holding Piper and rubbing her own sore chest.
Piper stood up, pushed back her hair, and cleared her throat. "Sweetie as much as I love you and I say this in the most loving way I can, you're an awful lot of trouble. We don't need two Phoebes around here. It took almost twenty-five years to get used to you and to straighten you out. What if she's worse than you? What if she is your evil twin or something like that?" asked Piper. The "situation" was more than Piper could take on a day like this one. The thought of another Phoebe scared the daylights out of Piper.
"What if she's better than me?" asked a frustrated Phoebe who regretted that she said that.
"Then we'll keep HER!" quipped Piper now sounding better crossing her arms.
"Sounds like Miss Perfect needs some time off," yelled Phoebe gesturing toward Piper. Phoebe felt like she didn't need this after everything else she had been through. "Hey, it could be worse! I could have brought home a PIPER! Then Leo could have his choice! And I could get some relief!"
Piper thought for a few seconds. "All right. I've been on walking on hot coals all week. Between demons and the club and a certain white lighter who doesn't seem to care how we get hitched, it's been one hell of a week. Phoebe, it would drive a nun to drink!" said Piper who settled down only slightly.
"Trying out for sainthood? Um?" quipped Phoebe in her little girl voice.
"No, but a weekend in a convent would be nice. And speaking of the good side, what do you know about Phoebe Number Two over there?" asked Piper pointing at her double-ganger.
"She's mortal from what I can see. Shape-shifters can't hold their shape while unconscious. I don't sense any magic here and she's different enough from me that she's not a complete clone. Frankly, both me and the Book of Shadows are stumped!" said Phoebes.
"Score one for evil side. Super witch is out of answers! Okay! Then I guess we have to get her awake and hear her story! What we really need is.." said Piper who looked up hearing a noise from the front hallway.
"Hi Guys! You should have seen my boss going over my latest layout. I never saw him so happy. I really think I have a shot at the Doolittle project.. Hello?" exclaimed Prue as she came in the door in a very good mood. Upon seeing the sleeping princess she remarked, "This is interesting. Any more extra Halliwell's hanging around here that I should know about?"
"Nope, just this Phoebe copy," said an exasperated Piper throwing her thumb toward her. "Phoebe found her face down in the rose garden next door and brought her here like something that the cat dragged in!"
"She looked awful innocent to me," said Phoebe looking up to Prue for some form of recognition.
"No, no, no, no, no. I know what's going on behind those baby browns. You can't say that you're that innocent," replied Piper wagging her finger at Phoebe.
"Am I missing something here?" asked Prue. "When was war declared between you two?" asked Prue. "I detect a little sisterly disharmony here."
"Oh, Miss Perfect is afraid that this whatever is going to make her life miserable like with the Night of the Living Phoebes," explained Pheebs.
"Isn't one Phoebe enough?" retorted Piper with her eyes blazing.
"Wait guys! We don't enough know who or what this person is. Have you tried waking her up?" asked Prue stating the obvious.
"Yep. She's like in grave city," replied Phoebe.
Piper gritted her teeth. "Not all that bad an idea."
"Piper, please. So should we try that awakening spell on her? It worked on Piper. And I don't think we'll have any consequences with it this time since were dealing with an innocent!" suggested Prue.
"Right behind you. I got the spell out before Piper arrived," said Pheebs. "I figured it was Power of Three time."
"Oh, all right. Do anything to just get rid of her. I've got an old doll you can use. Jeez!" chimed in Piper heading for the stairs.
"And I'll borrow a little of her blood," piped in Nurse Phoebe while Prue went and fetched some candles.
Phoebe Number Two had been stretched out on the couch and surrounded by thirteen candles to set the Wicca mood. Her pointing finger had been bandaged where they had pricked her finger and an old used childhood doll lay across her stomach with her blood lying on it. The Halliwell's stood around her with their hands joined and began to recite.
"Troubled blood with sleep's unease
Remove the cause of this disease
Sleep eternal nevermore
And shift this source of illness borne
To this poppet whom none shall mourn"
After reciting the incantation twice, the wind blew across the candles and the target of their spell twitched once and then again.
Her eyes popped open wide. "Ahhh. What a rush that was! Whoa!" Her eyes first caught sight of Piper.
"Hi, how do I get back here? God, I feel like I slept forever. OOOO!" she stretched. Then her eyes fell on Prue and finally Phoebe.
"Huh? No, it can't be!" she said smiling, shaking her head, closing her eyes and dismissing what she saw. Her smile slowly eroded as her eyes opened and passed across the ceiling, down to the candles on the floor and to the doll on her stomach. Her face turned to terror as she jumped up and yelling. "Oh shit! Get away from me! YEEEEEE!" she screamed running into the other room and screaming again as she approached each new corner of the house.
"Whoosh!" Piper settled her down permanently. "Okay. Surround her guys," said Piper. She wanted to fix this loud vixen's wagon quickly.
"Absolutely," agreed Prue as they each took up a position around her.
"Whoosh!" The freeze was removed. Phoebe Number Two yipped again, mumbled that this can't be real and then collapsed in between them.
"Let me help you back to the couch," said Prue helping her up.
"No, the sun room. Not back in THERE!" she said trembling looking very lost.
"All right. Come on in. Can I get you something?" asked Prue walking her to a comfortable chair.
"No. I don't think it will help," she said putting her face in her hands.
"If you're in some sort of trouble, we can try and help. It's kind of our calling," chimed in Phoebe anxious to hear her story.
"That's right. My name is Prue and this is my sisters Phoebe and Piper," said Prue indicating each of the Charmed Ones. Prue leaned over with an especially motherly looking attitude.
Looking up through her fingers she replied, "That's what I thought. This can't be real. I'm either dreaming or dead!"
"Nope. You're as alive as we are. If it's not being too personal, can I asked WHO YOU ARE?" asked Piper tossing her hair around.
"Yea, there is some resemblance between us," exclaimed Phoebe staring closely at her double.
"Like your twin!" remarked Prue looking at Phoebe and then returning her gaze at the other Phoebe.
Phoebe Number Two sat up, adjusted herself and then looked straight at them. "Fine. Whatever this is, we'll figure that out later. My name is Alyssa. Alyssa Milano. I'm a actor," said Alyssa very confidently.
"So like you were hired to infiltrate us or something? If you were, then you weren't so 'sleuthy'," quipped Piper smiling sarcastically at her.
"Something like the that," said Alyssa staring Piper down.
"Oh?" asked Prue crossing her arms. "And just what are your intentions?"
"I don't know! The last thing I remember is driving back to my home in Los Angeles from the studio. You see, where I come from you guys are only characters in a TV show. You aren't real!" said Alyssa tersely.
"All right. I've had enough. Let's vanquish this thing now!" cried Piper. "This weirdo is nuts!"
"You know, I'm quickly getting sick of you, Piper. You are currently exhibiting all the worst traits of your personally. I've told that to Holly time and time again! I don't need your pissed side at this minute!" said Alyssa wagging her finger at Piper. "So pipe down, eh, Piper!"
"Another witch?" asked Piper looking at her coldly.
"No, another actor and a good friend of mine, Piper. The actor who looks JUST LIKE YOU!" replied Alyssa smiling slyly.
"Wait. So you know everything about us?" asked Prue looking for some confirmation.
Alyssa gladly complied. "Prue Halliwell, almost 30. Mother Patty Halliwell, father Victor somebody. Raised by Penny Halliwell in this house with her two sisters. Worked at some museum, betrayed by her fiancé Roger, worked at Buckland's as an appraiser, quit over management policy changes, works now as a magazine photographer. Two great loves were Andy Trudeau, now deceased, and Bane Jessup, now of some federal prison. After Phoebe discovered your powers, you developed telekinesis, astral project and one hell of a punch when you're emotionally charged. Recently you were temporally married to a warlock, lost in a demon world located in an ice cream truck and went back to the Wild West to save me, uh, Phoebe. Sound familiar? And you won't find any of that written down anywhere except in our scripts, Prue sweetie!"
Prue stammered, "Uh.." which was unusual for the most confident of the Halliwell's.
Alyssa held up her hand, "Wait. I'm not finished. I have to convince all three of you and maybe later I'll convince myself that this is real. Piper Halliwell. Middle sister, keeper of the peace so to speak between the vastly different Prue and Phoebe. She still remembers her mother who was killed at camp something or other trying to dispose of a water demon. And you're probably the most like your mother down to your choice of a white lighter as your lover, Leo to be precise. You went to school to become a chef and then opened a nightclub. Nothing I couldn't know about that, except we really wanted a place to feature a lot of current bands on the show. You've died and came back to life, turned into a wendigo, fell in love with a warlock Jeremy and a Chinese ghost and recently froze your intended while Phoebe kicked him into a million ice cubes. Your Grams tried to marry you and Leo during a solar eclipse, which went wrong when Leo was pulled away, and now you're getting married soon since the Elders have approved the union. You are planning a small ceremony with family after you turned your wedding planner into a PIG. Not a bad choice with as obnoxious as he was. Satisfied? Hum. Piper baby?" asked Alyssa with a sly smile.
"Umm. Wellll. Whoa!" said Piper shaking her head.
"Typical Piper. Phoebe Halliwell. I know you well. Free spirited, pig headed, always taking chances. Being risky isn't so bad. Returned from New York three years ago and discovered your witchy heritage. Stumbled around for 18 months and then went back to school. We had been through enough out-of-work Phoebe jokes. I had had enough of that. You never had a steady guy till Cole Turner came around and then they took him from you. You really love your sisters, but you also have the capability to follow your own heart. I always liked that about you. But you still need some serious direction in your life. While Prue was back in the old West you were here dying of sympathetic gun shot wounds. You've also been possesses by a woogyman from the basement, your evil great aunt or whatever and bewitched when Prue married that warlock. Convinced? Huh?" asked Alyssa sitting down very proud of herself.
"No. All right, Miss Know-It-All. Who took me to the Eight Grade Prom?" asked Phoebe.
"I sorry, I don't know," said Alyssa shaking her head.
"Shawn Dawkins. What was the name of my stuffed pink bear when I was eight?" asked Phoebe.
"I don't know," said Alyssa throwing up her hands.
"Snuggles. What was my favorite flavor of yogurt?" asked Phoebe starting to grin to herself.
"Vanilla?" guessed Alyssa shrugging.
"Wrong. Strawberry-banana. Which one of Piper's birthday figurines did I break when I was seven?" asked Phoebe.
"Phoebe!" yelled out Piper. This incident was completely new to her.
"Oops! I needed something that no one else but I knew about. Sorry, Piper!" said Phoebe who appeared to shrink back a bit.
"You said it was the cat!" said Piper glaring.
"Again, I don't know Phoebe," said Alyssa shaking her head. Phoebe's questioning was getting tiresome fast.
"It was her fourth birthday statue," said Phoebe.
"Actually is one my sixth birthday figurine," said Piper. "I remember finding it broken after you ran to me and told me that our cat had been in MY ROOM!" said Piper still glaring at her.
"So your memories are not that good, Phoebe? Typical. Look, Phoebe. All you've proven is that you guys have a life beyond the twenty hours or so we do in your lives every year. You've probably vanquished lots more demons, had more loves, laughs and crying fits then we ever showed. The show Charmed didn't even START till you got you powers back!" said Alyssa. "That means there is twenty plus years of your history that we haven't covered."
"So this is one of those funny Twilight Zone inter-dimensional something or others?" asked Prue.
"Anything is possible. At least that's what I am starting to believe now. It's the only rational explanation," said Alyssa.
"Rational? Whoa, wait a minute! You come into our home and say that we're nothing but the figments of some writer's imagination? It's your rationally I really question," said Piper trying to make sense of this whole mess. Her head pounded from her earlier troubles and now she had supernatural paradoxes to worry about.
"That's the truth, Piper. Take it or leave it," retorted Alyssa.
"Piper, you really have to have an open mind here," said Prue. Her rationally was being pushed to its limit, but Prue kept a cooler head than her two skeptical sisters.
"An open mind I have, but with all the funny things we've seen, why is that the only explanation? Why believe little Miss Xerox Copy there?" said Piper getting more agitated. "I've never been much for that extra-plane, other-worldly and other-reality junk that Phoebe used to read about, but what proof does she really have? This is our home and I've lived here most of my life. This is real!" Piper shouted stamping her foot. "Hear that? That is real! I refuse to throw the whole concept of my life away listening to HER!" screamed Piper near the verge of tears.
"Dreams often seem real, true?" asked Alyssa trying to find some sympathy for distrustful witch.
"Then why do I remember every year of my life? That's far too many details just to be in a play or a movie or the like," said Prue straining to understand it, too. Not even Gone With The Wind included the level of detail she could remember from a generation of living.
"I don't know. You just have a reality here far beyond my concept or even that of our writers and producers," admitted Alyssa. "It's totally unbelievable, but Alyssa knocks on the chair here it is as real as anything I have ever experienced."
"Now what proof do you have that you are quote unquote real? Hum?" asked Piper. "Well? Maybe you're a figment of our imagination!"
"Did you ever even dream about me or my show?" asked Alyssa looking back at Piper with a look Piper had often seen from Prue.
"No," said Piper softly.
"Not me!" said Prue throwing her hands up.
"Hey, don't look at me," said Phoebe who seemed fascinated by the direction of the conversation.
"Then maybe it's an evil trick. Instead of infiltrating us, you're here to confuse us. I have seen enough of things like the Demon of Illusion and other evil tricks. Magic is all-powerful and you could easily been whipped up for the occasion. You just don't convince me completely, Miss Hollywood Phony!" yelled Piper wiping away her tears.
"And Alyssa? Another thing. You know you really don't look or act like me, you know. I mean really, like me," said Phoebe.
"Fine. If you don't believe me, then may I borrow some of your clothes and makeup?" asked Alyssa looking peeved.
"Be my guest. Everything is everyone's in this house," said Phoebe looking somewhat skeptical herself.
"I can't argue with that," said Prue who had had years of rifled closets.
Alyssa walked up the same stairs that usually lead to the top of the set of Halliwell Manor. Instead she found Phoebe's room in the position that she expected. As she flipped through some of the clothes she knew so well, she thought, "This must be the kind of a nightmare actors have in those retired actor's homes. I'm really turning my psyche inside out here. Ah, this will do it!"
Putting on a short purple outfit, she sat down and applied the makeup that others usually did for her. A little here and there, get rid of her tattoos and brighten up the face.
"There, Phoebe. You never looked better," said Alyssa admiring her work.
Calling downstairs Alyssa yelled, "Line up on the couch. My one-woman show is about to start!"
Piper sat next to Prue and Phoebe sat on the far end. "Bring on the new Phoebe!"
Alyssa (Phoebe) came skipping down the steps. "Hey Prue, Piper. That was one wild guy I was out with last night. He was like the gre-eatest. Though I don't know of I..ooops. I'm getting a premonition!" Alyssa leaned forward and grimaced. "Oh boy! Guys. There's this guy in trouble. Real cute. A crazed wide-eyed demon jumps out of the wall behind P3. I think we better get down there and do some major demon busting. And I know the spell to vanquish him: Demon of Darkness. Demon of night. Vanish away and go from my sight. Come on guys. Don't you know it's me, Phoebe?" said Alyssa raising her forehead and turning her palms. "Is it me or not?"
Phoebe just curled up in the corner of the couch looking annoyed.
Prue looked at Piper. "She definitely has the bounce and drive right. And the premonition bit looked good."
"Definitely, and that vacant expression. But she could use some work on her spell casting," replied Piper.
"Yes. Her look is perfect. I say we'll take her," said Prue smiling.
"Alyssa, you have the job!" quipped Piper.
Alyssa stood there looking very satisfied with herself.
Phoebe's mouth fell open. "That's.. That's not me. I don't wear that much makeup and she has several pounds on me and I'm not that air-headed. But do I look that funny when I have a premonition? Come on guys. Don't you know its me, Phoebe!" said Phoebe using the exact same expressions and inflections.
Prue looked at Piper and Piper looked at Prue giggling while the real Phoebe sat next to them on the couch and fumed.
"Not bad, Alyssa. It scares me just thinking about running into whoever plays me. Our lives here are freaky enough," said Piper walking over to Alyssa to shake her hand.
"Yes, well. Whether we are them or they are us at some time in some place or somewhere, of.. whatever.." stammered Prue trying to get out an intelligent sentence.
"Prue and her English. You mean we still have to help out this innocent. Why is she here and how can we help her?" asked Piper. "That's what we have to find out."
"Yep. First, go change. I need to go and.." said Phoebe still recovering from her humiliation.
Alyssa shook her head. "These are my normal working clothes and I'm dressed for the part. Besides, it'll explain more to others. Less questions you know," smiled Alyssa who wanted to fit in.
"Now tell us what you do remember!" asked Prue.
"Not much. I had left the studio late at night and headed home. It was dark and as I turned onto my street everything went black. No intruder, no demon, nothing. And then I woke up in the middle of a witch ceremony. First I though I'd been kidnapped by some crazy fans, who were trying to exorcise me. At least you guys were friendly. I appreciate that," said Alyssa. "I'm really the stranger here."
"Well, this has been fun, but I have to get back to my club while I STILL HAVE ONE. One more day, I'll give him one more day!" said Piper complaining about her stock boy.
"Oh, I think we'll see him there a week from now!" said Prue squinting at her sister.
"Watch me!" said Piper as she grabbed her purse. "And Phoebe, don't take what I said to much to heart. I do love you dearly; just don't go all freaky on me. OK?" Piper said cocking her head to one side.
"Sure, I guess," said Phoebe still wondering about her sister.
"And Alyssa make yourself at home. But if you can find your way home to whatever reality or place you came from, take it. BY-EE," said Piper slamming the door behind her.
"Someone is putting the T in tart tonight," exclaimed Alyssa sighing and glad that she was gone.
"Yea, will with their wedding plans and pressures with demons and her club, life hasn't been easy for here lately," said Prue.
"Not to mention taking things out on her sisters," chirped in Phoebe.
"You mean, Phoebe," replied Prue with a sly smile.
Alyssa turned to her, "You could definitely say that."
"Now everyone's coming down on me. Come on guys!" exclaimed Phoebe looking very put upon.
Alyssa just turned and smiled agreeing with Prue.
On a very busy night Piper was doubling as bartender on one side of the bar while her regular two bartenders were busily taking orders on two other sides of the bar. An entire frat house had descended on P3 and there had been a run on all kinds of beer.
"That's the last of the Heineken. Only the imported stuff is left. Got it?" Piper told her waitress.
"Now go, scoot! Whoa." Piper sighed and looked up and saw Prue and Phoebe dressed especially well tonight coming down the stairs, sundering across the floor and taking their usual position at the bar.
"Barkeep, some service!" yelled out Prue giggling all the way.
"Aren't we all dolled up tonight?" said Piper leaning on her side of the bar. "I take it you solve our little two-timing problem and you've come to celebrate?" asked Piper auspiciously.
"Nope, guess again!" chimed in Phoebe smirking.
Piper stood up straight, looked at her younger sister and exclaimed, "Oh my God! Where's our sister and what are you doing in MY CLUB?" Piper said on a stage whisper.
"Piper, I think that it's OUR club and she's my guest. Phoebe is sulking at home and studying for some philosophy test. So lighten up and let's have a good time. This is one pretty cool chick here!" exclaimed Prue indicating Alyssa Milano.
"You should really get her to do something with her life. I mean school is great, but have her major in something she can fall back on. Being a witch is not a grandiose career move. I haven't heard of any retirement homes for old crones and hags," said Alyssa giggling.
Piper just stared at Prue. "I think Mom dropped you on your head too many times. We can't be parading one of our you-know-what problems in public. I thought you were figuring on how to zap this chick back to wherever!"
"Testy isn't she?" asked Alyssa directly to Prue.
"She wanted to check out the club. We were having a great time at dinner that we decided to go out and have some fun. So don't spoil it," said Prue patting her sister's hand.
"So the super cool and controlled highly motivated witch sister is bonding with the highly motivated and sophisticated actor-type? Give me a break!" sighed Piper, who was hoping for no 'extra' pressure at the club tonight.
"Now you're getting it! Give us a couple of Margaritas and keep 'em coming!" cried out Prue.
"And I'm researching my role. I mean this is like total immersion. I can really get lost in the part here. A whole world to explore!" yelled Alyssa.
"Hey Columbus. I think you're both flat. Go sit down in our alcove and get nuts. Wait, too late for that. I HAVE A CLUB TO RUN! Jeez!" said Piper getting them their drinks.
"You know I sing a little. I could.." suggested Alyssa.
"No. Absolutely not! Phoebe wouldn't, so you shouldn't. Go over there now. Stay in character or whatever else you do. OUT!" yelled Piper pushing their drinks at them while her eyes were bulging out. She turned around crossed her arms and just sat there in a huff.
"What's with Phoebe?" asked Paul her assistant.
"She is beginning to think she's Brittany Spears or Julia Roberts or something like that. I can't take this. Um, I'm running down to Bay City Liquor and picking up some more beer. Don't let them out of your sight," said Piper.
"Sure, Piper," said Paul as Piper grabbed her purse and headed out the door.
Not too much later Prue and Alyssa could be seen out on the dance floor with two guys that had peaked their interests. Neither girl looked like anything would bother them. Alyssa had been so stressed with her otherworldly visit that she just had to let loose. Prue on the other hand appreciated hanging out with a new female face or at least a totally different personality. The music got louder and the dancing got wilder until a huge crash could be heard from the back.
"What the hell? Piper! No, she's not here. I'll be back, don't you guys move from here," she smiled with a worried look in her eye.
Her handsome partner just nodded grinning silly. Alyssa being curious followed Prue.
Next to the kitchen Steve was busily sweeping up two whole cases of Jack Daniel's best whiskey. He looked quite worried when he saw Prue and "Phoebe." "Oh God. Now I'm in for it. Prue, Phoebe," he stuttered nervously. "I guess that's it. I'll clean up and hang up my apron. I'm terribly sorry."
Prue put her hand on his shoulder. "Steve, don't go anywhere. Piper is the boss here. We just own a piece of.."
"..this mess?" quipped Alyssa. "Smells like a brewery back here!"
"Right! Steve go open a couple of windows. I'll grab the broom," sighed Prue.
"Sure, Prue," said Steve quietly leaving the girls.
"And who was that?" asked Alyssa not recognizing the character. "The employees here are different every week. Except for the crazed bartender that went after you, Prue."
"Yea, what? Gee, thanks! No, Steve is Piper's latest employee and he has this problem holding on to things. I don't think my sister is going to do anything about it soon. Our inventory has taken quite a beating lately as you can see," said Prue sweeping up the glass.
"Let me see what I can do," said Alyssa holding up one finger.
"That's Piper's job, Alyssa. I know she won't want you crossing her ay more," warned Prue over the sound of the clinking glass being swept up.
"Steve?" called out Alyssa. "Steve!"
"Yea. Phoebe," said Steve.
"Let me show you a few things. Huh," she said slyly taking his hand and heading into Piper's office.
"Well, he doesn't have a chance," thought Prue as she happily now levitated all the glass and deposited it in the trashcan. Then see had the hose fly over and hose down the floor to wash away the last of the whiskey. Prue heard the door open behind her, she gasped and the hose fell to the floor.
"My, aren't we overdressed for the janitorial staff?" quipped Piper. "Don't tell me. Is that Jack Daniels I smell? Hmm?" asked Piper as she went and opened the back door for the liquor deliveryman.
"Yes, but how did you know?" asked Prue who was sure she did her usual thorough job.
"Ha. Never try and hide scents from a chef. That's how we make or living, or used to anyway. I see my nemesis was at it again. OK. Maybe one more shot. Come right in," Piper said the deliveryman. "You might as well throw it on the floor and saved the time. Scratch that. Put it in the room on the right," sighed Piper.
"Yes, Miss Halliwell," replied the deliveryman.
"Thanks for your help, Prue. I appreciate it and I really mean that. I should have never left, but those fraternity types were drinking everything in sight. Where's Steve?" asked Piper looking around.
"In your office with um.. Phoebe," pointed Prue sounding a little amused.
"Steve and the barracuda? I have to save him," sighed Piper heading for her office.
Prue shook her had. "Easy Piper. She said she's trying to help. I think. Give the poor woman a break. She's lost and trying to cope."
"Oh? This should be interesting," said Piper as Steve and Alyssa came out of the office laughing hand giggling.
"Piper! You're back!" said a startled Alyssa.
"You bet your ass, FEE-BE! Steve, help the delivery guy. Please, carefully!" said Piper flatly. She turned and looked at Alyssa.
"Sure, Piper. I'm s.." said Steve.
Piper held up her hand. "Forget it. Just go help him out, carefully. Think carefully."
"And remember what I said," called out Alyssa.
"Which was?" asked Piper.
"Just a little confidence builder. I gave him some of the same relaxing techniques I use to get into a real tough emotional role. I had him visualize himself in a more controlled, more confident state. And if he keeps doing that, it should eventually become second nature to him. I told how much ladies appreciate that kind of confidence. He seemed pretty receptive to the idea. Come on Piper, I was just trying to help you out!" said Alyssa in more of a 'Phoebe' fashion.
"Thank you." Piper looked down and then back at Alyssa. "Especially after the way I've been acting. I hope you'll forgive me."
"Forget it. I'd might be acting the same way if you showed up on my doorstep," said Alyssa smiling a bit. She still wasn't comfortable with Piper. "I'm going to go get some air. See ya," she said waving.
"Well, back to the salt mines," said Piper as she grabbed a case of beer and headed for the bar. Prue now all alone looked to the left and to the right and decided Alyssa would like her space. She followed Piper to the floor of the club.
Alyssa wandered around out back as the deliveryman and his truck pulled away. As interesting as meeting the 'real' Halliwell's was she knew that this wasn't where she belonged. She wanted to head home. Now would be nice, but she could wait till the morning. A cold wind blew up and Alyssa held herself tightly and shivered. She noticed a bright light appearing behind as her as a white faced horned demon appeared from the bright light wearing an old English costume.
"Oh shit. Prue!" she called out as she started to run.
The demon threw a bolt of lighting at her and she collapsed on the ground. "Aha, I have the first of the Charmed Ones. This is too easy! I must be more wary of the rest." He picked up Alyssa jumped into the bright swirling mass of white light and vanished.
Phoebe had fallen asleep in her room with her books across her lap as the phone next to her bed rang.
"Ah, hello? Halliwell!" she said sleepily.
"Pheebs, Prue. Alyssa has disappeared. I don't think she would run off since we're her ticket home. Something wrong has happened, I can feel it," said a very worried sounding Prue.
"Well if you're getting premonitions, what do you need me for?" asked Pheebs now a little more awake.
"Pheebs, hurry!" said Prue. Prue usually didn't sound this desperate.
"Keep your shirt on. I'm coming!" she said sighing. Throwing her books down she put on her demon busting clothes and headed out down the stairs.
Prue, Piper and Phoebe wandered around the alley out back, the scene of many magical related encounters. Though the two single bulbs hanging from the wall fixture broke the darkness, it didn't feel that eerie with all the background noise coming from P3. In fact it was almost a festive type of mood that both Piper and Prue tuned in to. Phoebe on the other hand had her eyes opened wide and her senses at a peak.
"Nothing's coming. Nothing's coming," Phoebe said quietly looking around at the walls and the ground. Everything in the alley was in place as far as alleys went. "Wait a minute! My best turquoise earring? At least Miss Hollywood has good taste. We know she was here," said Phoebe pocketing her earring. Flash! Alyssa's last scene in the alley replayed for Phoebe in black and white. Coming back to reality she was breathing hard and sweating.
"Well?" asked Piper. "What was it?"
"Some white faced creature. They disappeared through a portal over there," pointed Phoebe who walked in that direction waving her hands in from of her until one hand disappeared. Startled Pheebs pulled it back quickly and then tried the trick again.
"Interesting. What is it?" asked Prue coming up behind Phoebe.
Phoebe furled her brow looking perplexed. "Like a cold damp refrigerator. He obviously didn't close the portal when he left or something's wrong with it" suggested Phoebe.
"Do demons usually leave their back door opened, Phoebes?" asked Piper looking a little worried. Crawling into unknown dimensions sent shivers up her spine.
"Whether it's a trap or not, Alyssa went through that and we have to find her. Just another rescue the innocent job, Piper," said Prue. "It is our job, you know."
"Wooo. And if it goes somewhere else?" asked Piper.
Phoebe turned to her sister. "Piper, we will figure it out later. Come on before it closes."
"Aren't you little Miss Adventure? Great. Down the old demon slide!" yelled Piper as she threw herself through the portal.
Phoebe and Prue looked at each other, winked and followed after her.
"Oof! Off of me, get off of me!" yelled Piper to her sisters. Piper stood up scraped and slightly bleeding after landing on a concrete floor in a dark brick warehouse. Prue and Phoebe were dirty and disheveled, but had not the same rough experience.
"Prue, next time you go into first. That's the last time I'll be your mattress," she said standing up and brushing herself off. "So much for this evening dress!"
"You shouldn't have been so eager to get here!" quipped Phoebe brushing herself off.
Piper looked genuinely peeved. "I just wanted to get on with this 'job!'" griped Piper.
"Next time I'll call the demon ahead of time and order you a feather bed," cried Prue who was not happy about their predicament either.
"Hey guys! Focus yourselves. Demon. Alyssa. Rescue! Let's see, this place could be anywhere in the world in the last two hundred years. Nope, last hundred and thirty. I see electric lights. The bars on this window look real old. I can't make out the stars; it must be a city somewhere. Piper try the door!" asked Pheebs now going over the walls for clues.
"Nope. Prue's turn. I've had enough surprises," said Piper crossing her arms standing in a dark corner.
"Fine!" said Prue who waved her hand and the door fell open revealing a large dark warehouse.
"Typical!" said Prue popping her head through. "It looks clear." Some light shined through the holes in the roof. The floor was covered with bits of brick and wood and other trash.
Phoebe picked dup a newspaper. " San Francisco Examiner. Florida Vote Count Delays Elections Results," she read. "Well, the time is now, the place is here in the old dock area. Prue and Piper, check the far side of the warehouse. I'll run down this side and meet you at the other end."
"Sure thing, Sherlock," quipped Prue who was followed by a worried looking Piper. They found nothing but trash and a brick wall while Phoebe quickly motioned them over to a dark corner.
"Um, isn't this the kind of scene where something jumps out of the darkness?" asked Piper.
"Yep. Something always does after questions like that are asked!" said Phoebes. "As for the light!" Phoebe pulled out a small flashlight.
"Great, now the demons can see us! And I WILL openly express my fears. That is how I operate, not like little Miss Control Freak here!" said Piper pointing at Prue.
"What is it about you today, Piper? First, Phoebe and now me?" asked Prue.
"Demons issues, club issues, wedding jitters. This is not my month, Prue. Now what is it, Sherlock?" asked Piper.
"Foot prints or rather disturbed dust coming right up to this concrete man hole cover," said Piper indicating the round concrete cover that was flush with the floor.
"Yuck. Looks like the opening to a septic tank. I'll have to thank this demon PERSONNALLY for a swell time," said Piper.
"But the whole city is on sewers in this district," said Prue who concentrated on the cover and lifted it up. A ladder led downwards and a small light shined in the distance. Phoebe used her little flashlight and saw only a masonry floor below the ladder.
"After you," offered Piper.
Phoebe shrugged and went down the ladder. The air was cooler and damper but did not smell like a storm drain. Piper and Prue followed still dressed in their evening clothes shivering a bit.
Walking though the warehouse basement, Prue first saw a lit doorway. Inside was a small room lit by candles, which had a small altar and a wooden bed with Alyssa asleep on it. She had been chained to the wall. No warlock or demon was in sight.
"Alyssa, wake up. Wake up," called out Phoebe.
"Ah, oh God! What hit me?" said Alyssa stretching and then looking at her chains, the room and the Charmed Ones. "Let me get this one straight," she yawned. "We're in some evil thing's lair?"
"Yep, Act 3, scene 4. Rescue of the actor!" quipped Piper.
"Piper!" screamed Prue who looked toward Alyssa and made the chains fly away.
"Holy mared! That's incredible," she said massaging her wrists. "No strings attached. Sisters, let get out of here!" cried out Alyssa as another portal opened up and out flew the white-faced warlock.
"Noooooooooo! You will do my bid.." he began to say until Piper put him in the deep freeze.
"They never learn," said Piper shaking her head.
"That's one wicked looking warlock. Our makeup guys should see him," said Alyssa walking around him.
As Alyssa circled the warlock Prue noticed something strange. "Alyssa look at his back on the left."
"Humm. A dagger tattoo? Neat!" exclaimed Alyssa.
"And isn't that the same mark on your own shoulder?" asked Prue.
"You know that you mention it Prue!" said Phoebe looking at both marks.
"No. This is a crucifix. Hardly a demonic mark!" said Alyssa shaking her head.
"Granted, but with the chains coming off his dagger it is reminiscent of your tattoo, Alyssa," said Phoebe. "And we were looking for a connection between your world and ours. This poor excuse for a demon may have been looking for me. Since you seem to have the same cult symbol of his magic, you got pulled here instead."
"A little far fetched, but what else do we have?" asked Prue.
"So some make believe demon made a wish and pulled me across time, space and other dimensions to here?" asked Alyssa screwing her face up.
"No stranger than the story you told us or I guess no stranger than we are to you," said Piper finally coming to terms with the Alyssa situation.
"So, let's vanquish this thing and maybe Alyssa will head home," suggested Phoebe. "I don't have any vanquishing spell and don't know who this is, so let's zap him with the Power of Three spell."
"Really?" asked Alyssa. Then changing her demeanor she said, "That'll be cool."
Then the sisters joined hands and recited,
"The power of three will set us free,
the power of three will set us free,
the power of three will set us free,
the power of three will set us free,
the power of three will set us free."
The tall white grotesque statue started to glow and then exploded in a million bright blue spots.
"Wow. That was an amazing. I've never witnessed the fireworks up close like that. Or ..God.. The stench. Is it always that bad?" asked Alyssa gagging.
"You should smell those grimlocks going up in smoke," smiled Phoebe. "Back to the Manor and then we'll get you home!"
"Spell. Check. Traveling potion. Check. We're ready Alyssa," said Prue pouring over her list.
Alyssa had changed back into her clothes and stood along with the other witches in the attic. "So this is it. Hey, guys. I'm sorry if I was hard on you. You did save my ass. It just proves that you're not me and I'm not you. I'm doing my job that I'm good at and boy you really kick ass doing your job. It's been an experience! Thanks," smiled Alyssa.
"Ditto on that," said Piper crossing her arms. "Not that I still believe YOUR PLOT LINE!"
"Yea, will somewhere sometime someplace, anything could be happening across those crazy alternative planes of existence," said Phoebe. "That's what I've learned from this experience."
"Take the poppet with you to remember us by. Good luck on your journey, Alyssa. I'll miss you!" said Prue hugging her.
"Same here, sis," said Alyssa.
"Best of luck wherever you are, Miss Hollywood!" said Phoebe hugging her. "It's been neat. If you ever need a twin, let me know!"
"Sure, Phoebe. Take care of your sisters. And Piper.."
"Yo!" waved Piper.
"Take care of your sisters. You're one tough cookie. Don't lose that edge," said Alyssa smiling.
"You bet your butt. Safe journey. May your stay there be.. um long term," said Piper waving.
"OK, guys, recite," said Phoebe.
"Displaced person within our sight
Return to where you began your flight,
Across space-time travel you will
Arrive safely without pain or ill."
Puff. Puff. Puff. Gray smoke appeared around Alyssa who looked down at it quizzically. She cocked a strange smile, waved and disappeared in the smoke. Once the smoke dispersed they could tell that she was gone.
"Well, at least that is over now. Good! I'm going to get some sleep!" said Piper as she briskly headed for the door "Good night!"
"Night, Piper. Thanks!" called out Phoebes.
"You mean morning, Phoebes. The sun is coming up," Prue pointed out.
"Witches do keep odd hours. At least we don't dissolve in the sun light!" she joked.
"That's vampires!" grinned Prue.
"So do you really think what she said was true. We just exist in someone else's mind?" asked Phoebe
"Why not?" said Prue.
"You really think that?" asked Phoebe confused.
"Everyone exists in the mind of the creator. We just don't know who or what he is. Satisfied?" asked Prue.
"Yea. I think so. You're pretty cool at times Prue. You want to lecture in my philosophy class some time?" kidded Phoebe.
"Professor Prue? We'll see. Good night Pheebs!" said Prue heading to bed.
"Night, Prue," said Pheebs cleaning up the remnants of their spell. After putting some things away, Phoebe though to herself "I wonder how that body art would look on me? Naaaaaah!" she said skipping down the steps herself to bed to dreams of their next encounter.
THE END