AUTHOR'S NOTE: I needed to get away from "Cat Scratch Fever" for a bit, so I decided to write this. I hope you all enjoy.;-)

It's inevitable

Like the heat of the sun

It's inevitable

I'm gonna make you the one

It's inevitable

Like the fire in your touch

It's inevitable

'Cause I want you - I want you so much

– Charlie

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – Unknown Author

When defeat is inevitable, it is wisest to yield – Quintilian

GHGHGHGH

It is night. Everyone else has gone home. I'm in my office, sitting at my desk. Bouncing the ball around. Keeping up a steady rhythm on the floor by my feet. Watching the dust motes as they sink onto the ground around me. Pooling by my chair. By my feet.

I try not to think about the pain that is gradually increasing its pressure into my right thigh.

ACACACAC

It is night. Almost everyone has gone home. I walk down the halls of the hospital, intent to run some work in the lab. My pumps beat a steady rhythm against the floor as my feet carry me further to my destination. Watching the patterned tile pass me by as I move further down the hallway. Away from the office. Away from him.

I try not to think about the walls that are increasingly closing around me.

GHGHGHGH

I lean back in my chair, stare at the ceiling. Toss the ball into the air, then catch it before it can hit the ground. Toss, catch, toss, catch. The thoughts of the day swirl around me, like some old fashioned black-and-white movie caught in a projector's reel.

The pressure in my leg increases.

ACACACAC

I lean against the counter, stare at the slide under the microscope. Push it further under the light, then check to ensure it is sufficiently illuminated. Push, check, push, check. The thoughts of the day swirl around me, like the fluttering wings of a butterfly caught in somebody's net.

The walls continue their inward descent.

GHGHGHGH

She's like a puzzle that I can't figure out. Complete one minute, missing several compulsory pieces the next. But when I think I've found a missing piece, she hides it again. Takes it away. Almost as if challenging me to continue my search. But I don't know where to look. Nor do I really know if I want to.

And, I reflect, it's possible that she's just as confused about it as I am. Not that I will ever admit it.

ACACACAC

He's like a little boy, playing hide and seek. Hiding one minute, seeking out solace the next. But once I've found him, he pulls back. Takes it away. Almost as if challenging me to find him again. But I don't know where to look. Nor do I really know if I can.

And, I reflect, it's possible that he's just as confused about it as I am. Not that he will ever admit it.

GHGHGHGH

I'm throwing my ball against the wall now, attempting to silence my thoughts with the pounding beat of ball against wood. Attempting to drown out the memory of her overly concerned eyes, staring heatedly into my own as she tries to get me to admit to the pain she knows has once again started to leave its rusty mark. Attempting to drown out the memory of the hurt which clouds those eyes when I alleviate my discomfort by delivering a healthy dose of heated sarcasm.

ACACACAC

I'm staring into the lens now, attempting to silence my thoughts with the familiar procedure of slide under scope. Attempting to drown out the memory of his bitterly obscure eyes, gazing intently into my own as he tries to hide the traces of pain I know have once again begun to leave their malicious mark. Attempting to drown out the memory of the hurt which seeps into my chest as he alleviates his discomfort by delivering a stinging dose of heated sarcasm.

GHGHGHGH

Something about her annoying penchant to fix the world. Her unending optimism that she can heal me. I am satisfied when I notice the muddlment in her eyes. Or so I tell myself.

ACACACAC

Something about my deep desire to help people. My ignorant hope that maybe I can heal him. I am not surprised to find that he still believes this is all I want of him. Or so he tells me.

GHGHGHGH

And then I tell her to go away.

ACACACAC

And then he tells me to go do some lab work.

GHGHGHGH

I will not admit that maybe I'm sorry to see her go.

ACACACAC

I will not admit that his words have hurt me.

GHGHGHGH

The entirely unwelcome thought arises that maybe there was more behind my sarcastic remark than the biting quip I sent her way. But I force myself not to care.

ACACACAC

The entirely unbidden thought arises that maybe there was more behind his sarcastic remark than the biting quip he sent my way. But I force myself not to wonder.

GHGHGHGH

Care leads to pain.

ACACACAC

Wonder leads to pain.

GHGHGHGH

I'm through with the ball now. It has fallen to the ground, much like the dust that settles around my feet. My inane attempts to drown out the memories of my day have decided to mock me instead, like rattlesnakes rising from the bottom of a pit.

The pain in my leg intensifies. If this continues, I will have to admit that it is back.

It is something that I am not willing to do.

ACACACAC

I'm through with the slide now. It sits under a dark microscope, its illumination gone much like the tile that passed by my feet. My idle attempts to drown out the memories of my day have decided to taunt me instead, like cruel children on a schoolyard playground.

The walls are becoming painfully close. If this continues, I will have to admit that I am stuck.

It is something that I do not want to do.

GHGHGHGH

I sigh and grit my teeth. My jaw is clenching with the effort.

I no longer have the strength to ignore it. I don't know if I ever did. Not that I will ever own up to it.

ACACACAC

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. My hands are fumbling with the effort.

I no longer have the strength to ignore it. I don't know if I ever did. Not that I am ready to own up to it.

GHGHGHGH

Without really knowing what I am doing, I push myself out of my chair and grab my cane.

ACACACAC

Without really knowing what I am doing, I push away from the counter and grab my purse.

GHGHGHGH

I will not yet admit where I am going.

But somehow I know she will be there.

ACACACAC

I will not yet admit where I am going.

But somehow I know he will be there.

GHGHGHGH

I lean against the railing, looking out over the lights of the city below me. I used to come here frequently. But that was before the pain.

And tonight the pain digs its angry fingernails into my thigh.

ACACACAC

I open the door and walk out onto the roof. I've only started coming here recently. I had hoped I could escape the ever shifting walls.

And tonight it is obvious that my hope was in vain.

GHGHGHGH

I hear her come out onto the roof.

Before I know it, she is beside me.

ACACACAC

I see him leaning over the rail.

Before I know it, I am beside him.

GHGHGHGH

"I'm not going to apologize," I warn.

Even if maybe I want to.

Because it is not that I won't.

It is that I can't.

ACACACAC

"You never do," I reply.

Even if maybe I want him to.

Because I have learned that it will not happen.

So I have come not to expect it.

Instead, I lean closer to the rail. And inadvertently, closer to him.

GHGHGHGH

My body tenses as she leans closer to the rail. Closer to me.

I try not to notice the way my arm burns when her skin touches my own.

ACACACAC

I try not to notice the way my arm burns when it rubs against his skin.

But then the electricity begins to course through my body, and I come to realize that it may be a losing cause.

GHGHGHGH

But then the electricity courses through my body, and I realize that it is a losing cause.

ACACACAC

Before I know what is happening, I have turned toward him. I am gazing into his eyes.

GHGHGHGH

Before I can stop it, she has turned toward me. She is looking into my eyes.

ACACACAC

It is as if gravity is working against me. As if on their own accord, my toes are pushing up off the ground and suddenly my lips are crashing against his.

The world falls away.

GHGHGHGH

It is as if the world has turned upside down. As if on its own accord, my neck is arching downward and my lips are crashing against hers.

My mind goes blank.

ACACACAC

I do not know how long we stand like this. All that I am aware of is the incessant beating of my heart as it collides against my chest, and the warm pressure of his tongue as it darts into my mouth.

My arms wind themselves around his waist in an effort to bring him closer.

GHGHGHGH

I do not know how long we stand like this. All that I am aware of is the unrelenting smashing of my heart as it beats heavily within my chest, and my overwhelming desire to taste the dark recesses of her mouth.

My arms snake around her shoulders in an effort to bring her closer.

ACACACAC

It is not until much later that I realize that. . .

GHGHGHGH

It does not dawn on me at the time, but . . .

ACACACAC

Some of the wall has crumbled away.

GHGHGHGH

The pain in my leg is not as sharp as it once was.

Fin.