The KAYTEH and BEKEH Naruto Fanfic!

Kaiu: Hello all and welcome to...-glares at Gaara-...What are you doing? And WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SHIRT ON! (not like she was arguing...)

Beki: -sweat drop- Don't hurt him, Kay...uh...Kaiu.

Gaara: What? It was hot! Dx... -takes a damp sponge and rubs it on chest-

Kaiu: -nosebleed- hweeeeeeeeeeeeeee -passes out-

Beki: xX Eh...ONTO THE FANFIC:D

Chapter One

Kaiu was sitting on a rock in the forest, reading a book. Suddenly, the trunk of a REALLY FRIGGIN' BIG TREE fell in front of her. She jumped up on the rock.

"JESUS --CKIN' CHRIST," She screamed. A guy with red, short, spikey hair, no eyebrows and the symbol of Love on his forehead jumped from the top of the trees.

"Did I scare you?" He smiled, a...scary look in eyebrow-less eyes.

"YES YOU --CKIN' SCARED ME," The shock on Kaiu's face had become raged.

Eyebrow-less Man jumped from the fallen tree and held out a hand, "Gaara of the desert, at your service,"

An eyebrow raised on Kaiu's face. Gaara looked at her eyebrows. Okay, well she thought THAT was a little weird...

She shook his hand, "Kaiu, vampire of the sands..." There was a caution in her look. Well of COURSE she wasn't gonna trust some random guy who made a tree nearly KILL her!

Gaara chuckled. He seemed...calm.

It was certain.

This guy was EFFIN' WEIRD!

Kaiu picked her book back up, "Damn. Lost my place,"

Gaara looked at the book.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"WHAT!" Kaiu suddenly snapped. Awkward silences for her were, well...awkward!

Gaara snapped out of his fantasy land and turned his head away, coughed, putting his hand over his face.

Kaiu had a look of suspicion in her eyes, "What? You aren't thinking little THOUGHTS in that head of yours? ARE YOU!" She leaned closer to him.

Gaara stepped back and stumbled over the log. "UEAH!" He fell, bottom first onto the ground on the other side, wincing as he did, "Owie..."

Kaiu's impression of this guy had changed. He was...kinda stupid. Kaiu liked her boys stupid! "Well don't trip over yourself!"

Gaara stood back up and stared at her, "You tripped me,"

"What?" Kaiu stared at him, "Say WHAT now?"

"If you wouldn't have been so...forward I wouldn't have stumbled,"

Kaiu's right eye twitched.

She exploded.

"DON'T BLAME YOUR CLUMSINESS ON ME, BITCH," She yelled, pointing her finger at him and scolding him like a small child. Well, not a small child. More like a teenager who wrecked the car...

Gaara's eyes went wide and he stared at her. Was she for real?

((Note, Kaiu really wanted to put "fo rizzle" there, but she has been sacked. I AM NOT SHE'S LYING! -sacks- NOW she has been sacked))

There was a loud call of GAARA that rang through the forest. Gaara's eyes suddenly seemed annoyed. You could just see the large, anime style vein pop out on his forehead. There was enough room...

A short, blonde haired boy marched through the forest. He put his hands up to his mouth and bellowed out, "GAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAA!"

Sasuke reached out and put a hand on Blondie's shoulder. This caused him to fall back letting out a "BUEAH!"

"He's right over there, idiot," Sasuke said, calmly.

Naruto romped over to Gaara and smiled a wide, dorky smile. "Hey Gaara! You just disappeared in the middle of my story of how I'm gonna become the next Hokage, believe it!"

Gaara's eyes became more annoyed and he laughed, evilly, turning to Naruto, "There is a REASON I left, you annoying little putz!"

Naruto looked at him, tilting his head, "Why?"

Kaiu was all too confused. A short blonde, a tall red head and a big friggin' tree right in the middle of it all...she had to ask.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!"

Naruto suddenly realized there was a woman (other than Sakura) standing there...

((Note, Kaiu wanted to put "other than Sasuke" there, instead of Sakura. She then realized those two were not out of the closet yet. . . ;;;))

Naruto stared at Kaiu, taking in every detail of her figure. Here face, her long, raven black hair. Her figure. He spent extra time looking at her figure. He realized an evil glare was meeting him from Gaara and Kaiu.

"What are YOU staring at, blondie!" Kaiu snapped.

Naruto almost peed himself, in shock, "Uh...uh...uh...you...uh..." He backed up, and bumped into Sasuke.

Sasuke went wide eyed as he went crashing to the ground, Naruto on top of him.

(("Kaiu's Quote" Wow...that sounds sexual...))

Kaiu burst out laughing, knee slappin' and everything.

Gaara just stared at the two squirm and push one another each other, then accidentally rolling onto the other.

There was silence except for Kaiu's laughter and the squabble between the two turkeys...I mean...guys...

Finally, Sasuke rolled off of Naruto and the two started panting furiously, in shock and exhaustion. And oh yeah, the blushing. Oh was there blushing...

Kaiu snickered, "Have a good time, boys?"

Sasuke's face became redder as he sat up.

((Note, Kaiu is declaring redder as a WORD, beyotches!))

Naruto sat up, breathing heavily.

"What the...hell does that mean?" Naruto said.

Sasuke quickly looked at him, glaring. Naruto glared back.

"WHAT!"

"Igit,"

Naruto crossed his arms, "I'm not the one standing there all knockey-overy...believe it..."

Gaara's eye twitched, so did Sasuke's.

Kaiu knew it. Believe it was this boys phrase of the week! It was annoying. It was RIGHT THERE. What, was she going to say, NO, I CANNOT SEE IT! IT IS NOT REAL! Or something? Riiiight.

Sasuke stood up and brushed himself off, "You left after the fiftieth believe it, and Naruto wanted to find you,"

Gaara closed his eyes and nodded, "Well, I was bored and now I'm not. Go away,"

Naruto shot up and walked up to him. Gaara was taller. Or maybe it was the log he was on...

"What? It was just getting interesting! Come oooon! You'll love my story! Believe-

Gaara grabbed the runt by his hair and pulled him up, "You say that ONE MORE TIME and I'm cutting your-

"Whoooooa, there, no need to get...physical about it," Kaiu said.

Gaara shot a glare at her.

"Okay then, GET physical..."

Gaara looked back at Naruto, "Now then, you say it ONE MORE TIME and I'm ripping off your MANHOOD!"

Naruto's eyes went wide and he went silent.

Gaara dropped him. It was quite a fall, and the "soon to be" Hokage fell on his buttocks.

"Owies," Naruto said, sadly.

Kakashi, appearing out of no where, poofed into existence, yet again. "What's going on?"

Naruto stood up, "I was telling Gaara about my story and it was just starting to get really cool but then he had to leave and then we came here and there's a lady and him and I think he likes the lady cause she's got BIIIIIIIIG boobs and he's-

"Say WHAT!" Kaiu, catching that last part of his run-on, "YOU SAID WHAT ABOUT ME!"

Naruto's face shrunk into smallness and scare-ness, "I didn't mean you,"

Sakura, who was silent the whole time, marched up and whacked Naruto on the back of the head, "Were you talking to ME!"

"No!"

"Then who, HIM!" Kaiu pointed to Sasuke.

Sasuke blushed and Naruto blushed, as well. "NO! I mean...uh...uh..."

Kakashi leaned down to Naruto, "Yes, what DID you mean?"

Naruto looked nervously from side to side. Everyone was now staring at him. All he could do was make a little screek and run off toward the end of the forest. Kakashi shook his head and sighed.

"That boy..."

Kaiu let out a huff and picked her book back up. She didn't feel like reading it anymore.

Gaara brushed some of his hair out of his face and jumped back off the log again. Without a word, he jumped to another part of the trees.

Sasuke and Sakura looked at Kakashi.

"You two must train. We can grab Naruto when we see him,"

They nodded, "Yes, Kakashi-sensi,"

And soon, all of the strange people who were crowding Kaiu's quiet forest rock were gone, and it was silence.

She watched Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura walk toward the edge of the forest, the tree blurring together, they were so far away.

As for Gaara, she could still hear trees falling.

Maybe it would be best to leave.

Kaiu: -rubs head-

Beki: What?

Kaiu: You tied me in a FRIGGIN' BAG! My HEAD HURTS!

Gaara: Shouldn't you be asking them to review chapter one or something?

Beki: Oh yeah! Give us a review! Chapter two on it's way!