What If She Left You and I?
First of the What If Series
Hatori looked over to her; she was the most important person in his life. He couldn't imagine loving another like he did her. Her large brown eyes danced with happiness, her brunette hair framed her face and accentuated her smile. Shinobu looked so much like her mother it made him ache at times. She was enjoying the ice cream he had just purchased for her. He didn't get to spend as much time as he liked with his daughter Akito and his practice kept him busy. So when he got to take his daughter out, he liked to see her enjoy herself.
Her tiny hand in his was as close as he dared to get to her in public. He couldn't pick her up like other fathers could to show her the animals better. He couldn't cradle her against him if she got upset. He couldn't hug her to show he cared. It was times like this with his daughter that he felt the most Cursed, and ironically enough the most blessed.
"Look Daddy, see!" she exclaimed, watching the lions paced back and forth along the fence. "Wion go rwar!" and she demonstrated for him. "Now you!" she said excitedly, going back to the ice cream that had started to dribble down her hand.
Hatori glanced around, he didn't like to draw attention to himself. "I don't think I'd be very good at it."
Her face contorted into a pout. "Peeease daddy! Peeease. 'Gure would do it."
Hatori narrowed his eyes, and grudgingly crouched down to her level. He roared softly for her. Only Shinobu could make him sink to Shigure's level. He smiled warmly as his daughter laughed. He stood to look at the lions a while longer.
What would he have done if he and Kana hadn't had Shinobu? What would have happened to him if Kana would have left him all alone?
It had been a complicated affair, one that had left him without the woman he still loved so dearly.
oxoxox
I might never have gained the courage to approach Akito had Kana not come to me with news.
"We're going to have a baby!" she had said, the joyful look of an expectant mother already adhering to her features. Those brown eyes had been so full of hope and promise for the future. I didn't have the heart to tell her my doubts. I couldn't tell her that my promise to her would be conflicting with another that had been made for me. Even I hadn't the foresight to expect how badly it would go, for both of us.
Akito had gotten upset, and rightfully so. He lashed out and I couldn't blame him for it. It was just part of the Curse.
Kana started to believe Akito, that my injury was her fault. She convinced herself that if she'd never met me that I wouldn't have been hurt. Truthfully I was grateful that Akito only took his anger out on me, and not on Kana. What I realized too late was that she had been cut on a deeper level.
As my injury healed, Kana's festered. Her love for me was what had caused her pain. I hoped the baby would help her through it, I couldn't seem to. No matter how many times I told her it wasn't her fault, she couldn't believe me. Even Shinobu had been put in danger as her mother deteriorated.
Maybe after the baby came, then she would get better I thought. It was my one last hope. Shinobu had only made it worse, she started blaming herself that she'd had a daughter I couldn't hold. Enough was enough; I knew what my duty to her was. It wasn't right for her to suffer because of me.
I hesitated a moment, as she told me that she was happy to have met me. Even at the end, she couldn't think of herself. I forced myself to be strong in my time of weakness. I locked away every memory of our spring she had; and almost fell back into my icy winter in the process. I would have been frozen again.
But I had Shinobu.
oxoxox
The girl at his side tugged him out of his reflections, and pulled him towards the next building; Shinobu loved the aquarium the best. As they approached one of the tanks, she began to giggle like little girls have a habit of doing. She pulled her hand out of his and ran to the display for a better look. With her little finger she pointed to the animal behind the glass.
"Look, like Daddy!" The yellow seahorse darted away from the child's finger. She removed her finger, her sticky finger print remained.
"You realize someone is going to have to clean that now?" Her pointing the seahorse out only reminded him how intelligent she was. He would have to tell her about her mother one day. She would ask, it was only a matter of time.
He dreaded that day, because the only thing he'd be able to tell her was, "Your Mother was very sick, the only way for her to get better was for her to leave you and I."
He moved toward his daughter, and placed a kiss on her forehead. The day she asked about her mother was the day Hatori would have to reveal to Shinobu that her mother couldn't love her because of him.
This is my first story in the What If Series. All the stories in the series will feature Hatori, and most of them will center around one concept; What If Kana and Hatori had had a child? I hope you enjoyed it, and will join me for more What Ifs in the future!