"Don't let go. Please just don't let go of me" he pleads, eyes moist with tears falling from the corners. We all know what's happening to him. We all know his fate here in the hospital as he lies against white starched sheets.
"I won't. I promise. I'll stay with you forever."
"That a promise Squall?"
"For sure."
He's dying. We can see it. He can feel it and he knows it. They said he would survive. But the therapy didn't work any longer.
"You know that I love you right?"
"I know it. I don't want to lose you," I sob and bury my face into the corner of his hospital gown. I'm losing my beloved Irvine to leukemia.
"I don't want to go. But promise me something. When I stop breathing, move on. Don't live in the sorrow. Promise me."
I shake my head and he sighs. "I don't want you to suffer."
A promise, or a threat?
He coughs deeply and a drop of blood falls from his lips to blend with a tear.
"Take care of everyone for me okay?"
"Stay with me. Don't leave me."
"I will always be with you," he promises. How can he? He's dying. I won't let him go now.
And I won't let go. I'll hold his hand until his last shuttering breath leaves those perfect lips that sang me songs, which kissed mine, that were sensuous and perfect. Those that are now turning blue in death. And I can't live without him.
You taught me how to smile. You taught me how to survive. I want to be with you forever. Why did the chemotherapy stop working? Does Hyne hate us because of our relationship?
The pain is too great. With my last shred of courage I take the knife I hid in my boot and with one fluid movement, I slit my wrists though veins and sinews. I believe that our love is worth dying for. And I held his lifeless body as I slipped away.
You told me love wasn't worth dying for Irvine. I proved you wrong.