Words

Love.

That's just a four letter word.

Trust.

Five letters.

Hate.

Another four letters.

Betrayal.

Eight letters.

But what do they mean? Are they just words? Are they emotions? Would it hurt so much if we hadn't named them?

Mutant.

That's a six letter word. It's what I am. But what is a mutant? Are we so different from humans? What makes it different form being naturally sporty or something? Is it the fact that other people can't do what we can do, no matter how much they try?

Why do they hate us? Would they still hate us if hate wasn't a word?

What is hate?

Is hate a word, or a feeling? Is anything real, or is everything just words?

Human.

Mutant.

Animal.

What's the difference in us anyway? Is it who we are, how smart we are, how we act, or are they just more words, trying to explain all the differences in the world?

Love and hate.

Are they really opposites? Are they really that far apart? People always talk about the thin line between love and hate, but are they really that close together?

Trust and betrayal.

They aren't opposites. Trust is believing in someone, Thinking that they will be there for you, thinking that they will keep you safe. Betrayal is when someone lies to you, or shares your secrets. When someone uses you.

I can't touch someone without hurting them. That's what makes me a mutant. It's a curse. Yet somehow, people I trusted managed to use that. And I still trust.

I've been betrayed by people who say that I can trust them, and people that I don't know, hate me for who I am. People who know me hate me for what I'm not.

I live with other mutants. Supposedly it's a place that I can feel safe, where I can belong. It's not. In the end, they're just using me. Using the fact that I'm a mutant like them.

They wouldn't even try to get to know me if I wasn't cursed like this. There are hundreds of people that are suffering in the world, but the X-Men don't try to fight for them. They just fight for mutants.

Do I want to be like that? People say that I should fight for what I believe in. But what do I believe? They say I should fight for what I love? But what do I love? What is love?

Why does it all come back to that?

What is love?

What is hate?

What is trust?

What is betrayal?

I've probably felt them all, whether I lived it, or someone I've absorbed has. I've lived a millions lives, not all of them good, not all of them bad.

People say I should fight for what I believe in, but what do I believe? I just don't know any more.

Who should I love, who should I trust. Who should I hate, who has betrayed me?

What is love?

What is hate?

What is trust?

What is betrayal?

I should know. I've lived through it all.

What is life? What is death?

All these questions, but do I want to know the answers?

I know what I fight for. I fight for death. I fight for the end. I'll fight for the fact that nothing lasts forever. That eventually this suffering has to end.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go kill myself, I won't get that low. That doesn't mean that I have to make sure that I won't die any time soon.