Disclaimer: Y'all know the drill . . . . I don't own 'em, I just wanna play with them! Hopefully, no one will sue my ass. Trust me, it isn't worth it. All you'll get is about 10,000 dollars in school loans and my Selena collection – some of which MAY be worth something, but I don't know. Just don't bother suing me.
I want to thank my friends Rena and Beth for proofreading and encouraging me; thanks, guys! I also want to thank all the wonderful Fanfiction.net authors whose works have inspired me and kept me going through this Dark Angel drought period known as "in-between seasons" – yuck!
A/N: Ok, here's the deal with this story. It's set one week after Pollo Loco – a little late, I know, but it took a while to write, and what other material do I have but first season, now that the season is over? I saw the end of PL, and I just didn't like it; images literally started bouncing around in my head, demanding to be let out! Now I know what a muse feels like when it's agitated! It runs on the basic premise that Max did not tell Logan that she killed Ben. I know, it's implied in the episode that she tells him, but since they don't come right out and say it, I took advantage of the tiny loophole. It might be a little AU – I have not incorporated any info from subsequent episodes, so pretend they never happened. Ok, thanks for listening to me rant – here's the story!!!
Confessions
Max rode slowly through the streets of Seattle on her way to work. It was pouring rain, which kept most people indoors and gave the city an empty, washed-out look, like a ghost town.
//That's how I feel,// Max thought to herself. //Ever since . . .// her mind shied away from the end of that sentence, not wanting the memories that came with it. Logan had been out of town all week on some mysterious errand, so she'd been left all alone with her thoughts.
//He wouldn't understand anyway,// she reminded herself. //He knows Ben is dead, but not how. If he knew . . .// she didn't want to finish that thought either. Arriving at Jam Pony, she walked past Normal, who as usual was ranting at her for being late, and went over to the lockers.
"Hey Boo; what's shakin'?" Max broke out of her thoughts as Original Cindy plopped down next to her on the bench.
"Nothing," Max shrugged.
"Nothin', huh? Original Cindy ain't even tryin' to hear that, Boo; you soaked all over, your lips is turnin' blue, and you look like you comin' down wit' somethin'," Cindy argued. "Plus, you ain't been right for the last week, ever since that bad-ass killer got caught."
Max jerked away at the mention of Ben. Even though Cindy knew the real deal with her. Max still hadn't told her the truth about Ben and that whole situation. Part of her yearned to break down and tell Cindy everything, to let her best friend hold her and help her deal with it. //You can't,// another part of her mind whispered, a part she tried to keep locked away; a dark and terrifying part that held all of her Manticore memories and training. //If anyone finds out, you'll be all alone.//
"Look, girl . . ." Max's attempt was cut off by a huge yawn, and Original Cindy pounced on it.
"And that's another thing; when's the last time you got any sleep? Original Cindy keeps hearin' you pacing all over the apartment at all hours of the night! You ain't slept since last week, have you?"
Thankfully, Max was saved from having to answer by Normal. "Let's go, people, bip bip bip!" he yelled. "This is a job, not a day care! Max, hot run, 1215 Euclid!"
Max quickly grabbed the package and headed out the door. //I never thought I'd be grateful to Normal for being an ass,// she thought to herself, smiling. The brief lift in her mood faded as she thought back over the conversation. Original Cindy had been right on practically every point. Max hadn't slept since Ben died; sleeping meant that she would dream, and she couldn't stand to dream, to relive the memories. Also, over the past week, she had been riding in the almost constant rain, seeking oblivion from the water pounding on her skull, and she was starting to feel a little sick. //Shake it off,// she told herself. //You have work to do.// Sighing, she pedaled on through the rain.
Max managed to get through the rest of the day without being cornered by Original Cindy, mostly by going out on as many runs as Normal could give her. She knew that the reprieve wouldn't last, though, given the fact that they shared an apartment. So she biked around in the rain for a few hours after leaving work, not really noticing or caring where she was going, hoping that Cindy would be in bed when she came home. By the time she let herself into the apartment, sometime around midnight, she was feeling worse than she had at the beginning of the day.
"Max! Where the hell you been Boo?" Original Cindy's voice made Max jump nearly a foot in the air. Turning from the door, which she had been trying to close quietly, she met not only Cindy's face but Kendra's as well.
"Kendra? What are you doing here?" Max asked in confusion. It was suddenly hard for her brain to process information.
"Original Cindy called me and asked me to come over; she was worried about you." Kendra informed her. "And now that I see you, I agree with her – Max, you look like hell."
"Thanks," Max muttered. She leaned her bike against the wall and started for her bedroom, intending to bypass the conversation altogether. Unfortunately, her legs chose that time to give out; if Original Cindy hadn't caught her, she would have ended up on the floor.
"Aiight, Boo; no more arguments, into bed you go." Max tried to protest weakly as she was tucked into her bed, but found that she was too exhausted. As Cindy finished up, Kendra entered the room with a glass of milk in her hand.
"Here Max, drink this; you'll feel better," she urged. Max did as she asked, but as the milk went down, she noticed a strange aftertaste.
"What's with this milk?" she demanded. "It tastes like . . ." Suddenly she couldn't keep her eyes open, and an enormous yawn overtook her.
"It's just somethin' to help you sleep, shuga," Original Cindy explained, smoothing Max's hair. "Rest, Max; you need it."
"No . . ." Max struggled to keep her eyes open, but it was too late. Against her will, sleep claimed her, and she dreamed.
Ok, was that enough of a cliffhanger? I hope so; this is my first DA fic, so I'm hoping I've done ok. Oh, BTW, yes, Max does sleep and she does get sick. Just go along with me on those and I'll give you a peanut butter cookie I made myself!!! I've been missing Kendra lately in the series, so that's why she's here. Please Read and Review; I'll only post the next bit if I get 235 reviews!!! LOL, just kidding, but please do tell me what you think. Please try not to flame me, but if you do, 'tis ok, I shall make S'mores!!! The next part will be up soon, I promise!
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