This is my first fan fiction concerning Titanic...I apologize if I mess up some movie details...it's been a while, but it's a fiction and whatever...it's not real...lol. So, enjoy it! And review if you so wish!

The Water is Wide, I cannot get o'er...and neither have I wings to fly...give me a boat that will carry two...and both shall row, my love and I...

Have you ever looked at something so perfect it broke your heart and completed you all at once? I have. On January 12, 1913, my daughter was placed into my arms with a head of reddish blonde hair and light blue eyes wide open. She wasn't crying, she wasn't flailing, she was perfectly serene and she looked at me with such a soul already in her, I knew it was meant to be. It was as if she was trying to tell me everything was going to be alright. It would only be the two of us, but somehow we would get by. I would pull us through any obstacle to give her the life she deserved. I was so overwhelmed by the emotion of it all, I broke down as soon as they brought her to me, cleaned and wrapped. Yet, through it all I felt alone. Horribly alone. I had no family. My mother was surely still in Philadelphia, and my former fiancé, was already married to his childhood sweetheart, who had ironically turned up with the child they had conceived together during our year long engagement.

The father of my child had been dead since the night she was conceived, and we had never gotten the chance to really be together. It's strange, but here I was, nine months after the fact, and the details of that night still ran through my mind. I had always been a realist, and had never believed in love at first sight or any of that fluffy nonsense. My parents had had an arranged marriage and barely spoke to each other, much less loved each other. My mother had never been truly happy, but being raised as the daughter of a well known business man, she'd been trained to be a proper, society wife and knew how to do nothing else. I had always pitied her for my father and I were terribly close and he'd made sure I had skills should something ever happen to him. For a short time, I even served as a sort of secretary to him at the offices of our wine business. Of course, I'd gone to finishing school, but I always pulled my weight around the house, helping with dishes and things. I had an endless love for books and art, and read constantly. I was always being scolded because I worried more about the ending of Les Miserables than what I was going to wear for dinner that night.

The only material things I had ever valued was a butterfly hair comb, and a silver brush and mirror set that Daddy had given me before he died. When I was thirteen, he'd gone into business with his friend and combined the wine business with their restaurant chain. He'd left his friend completely in charge of the finances, never believing people could be bad at heart and it turned out, the man had slowly transferred all of my father's funds into his account and disappeared when I was fifteen. Shortly after we'd learned we were literally penniless, my father had an aneurysm and died. Desperate, my mother had moved us from New York to Philadelphia after learning that the steel mogul, Nathan Hockley's son Caledon was looking for a wife. I don't fault her for it. She was frightened. I had been introduced to him at a party a few years before but at the time I'd still been in an awkward stage and he'd never given me the time of day.

It was easy to see he was instantly taken with me and he began to court me. I'll admit, it was a bit dizzying, the gifts he showered on my mother and I. She began to become quite comfortable and even though the thought of marriage made me want to jump on the next train to upstate New York, I couldn't bear to throw her into a life of poverty. She'd wilt like a rose. Ironically, my name was Rose and I'd never been one to wilt. So, just after my sixteenth birthday I'd become engaged to Caledon Hockley without a protest. I soon learned Cal did not want a wife who challenged him and every time I did so, he proceeded to tell me about his former love Isabella. I knew Isabella. She was a tiny blonde girl who was soft spoken and obedient. I'd never had a problem with her, but being compared to her on a near daily basis, really drove me insane.

Still, problems and all I found myself growing awkwardly fond of Cal, and even at times could see myself loving him in time. Just before Christmas of 1911, six months after my seventeenth birthday, he whisked Mother and myself to Europe to tour the continent. I was most fond of Paris. I spoke fluent French and felt truly at ease in the presence of the French. By the time we'd gotten back to England, it was the middle of March and our engagement party was set for April 21. Cal had booked us tickets on a brand new liner, said to be bigger and better even than the one that had brought us here. I could have cared less if we'd come on a cargo ship, but he insisted on having the best. I remember first hearing the name of our ship home and laughing a little.

"It's called the Titanic." He'd said proudly, flashing the first class tickets. I smirked and he'd raised an eyebrow, both he and my mother looking at me like a disruptive child.

"Well, isn't it a bit over the top?" I'd asked and he'd looked at my mother as if I were the most irritating thing ever and had said,

"Darling, nothing is over the top when you are rich." They'd laughed together haughtily then with me sitting there hating them both for looking down at me. The only thing that had got me through those last weeks in England was the company of Mrs. Margaret Brown. She was the only real person in our group. She'd lived a real life and her husband had gotten rich well after they were married. They called her "new money," I called her an escape. Someone I could actually speak to. I missed my father something horrible and since his death, I had felt isolated in my own misery, so being able to speak to someone, was Heaven. I hadn't even been able to grieve for him properly before I was tossed into the arms of Cal.

I woke up on April tenth with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. The night before, Cal had come into my room and tried to pressure me into making love with him for the umpteenth time that month and became angry when I told him to stop. He'd never hit me, he just left the room. I was greeted by Trudy, our maid, as she laid my clothes on the bed. A pinstripe suit and a purple hat which I thought was hideous.

"Really Trudy, it's fine...I'll just wear the dress..." I'd began but Mother's voice came from the door.

"Nonsense. It is improper for a lady to go in public without a hat. You know better." She said coldly and I smiled at her bitterly.

"Of course Mother. How could I forget?" I asked sarcastically as Trudy began to pin my hair.

I looked at the diamond gracing my seventeen year old finger.

"It's really a beautiful ring Miss." Trudy said admiringly. I sighed.

"It's...something." I agreed, and stared at my reflection. Who was that girl with the tightly pulled back hair and the porcelain face? Not me. I hadn't seen my own reflection since Daddy died. Maybe I never would again. In Cal's homes, there was room enough for four families and endless possessions, but would there ever be room for me?

"The car is waiting downstairs." Cal said, coming into the room and kissing my cheek. I smiled vaguely at him, remembering the night before. "Forget last night dearest. I forgive you." He said affectionately and I could only stare at him in shock as he left the room.

"Well thank you so much, gracious king!" I shot at the empty doorway.

I nearly fell out of the car at the sight of the Titanic. It was bigger than anything I had seen in my life up close. I was truly impressed, but I didn't want Cal or my mother to know I was about as excited as a six year old at the circus for the first time.

"It doesn't look any bigger than the Mauritania." Cal had chuckled, getting out of the car.

"You can be blasé about some things, Rose, but not about Titanic. It's over a hundred feet longer than the Mauritania and far more luxurious." I'd felt the sudden need to heave, but held it back as Mother stepped down, with Cal's help of course.

"Really now, couldn't they hold back until they were in the privacy of their own cabin?" Mother said disdainfully as I followed her gaze. A young couple, probably about my age were giggling between kisses as the young man spun the girl around in a circle. I almost sighed. The playfulness of their relationship astounded me. It was like they were excited to be in each other's presence. I looked at Cal almost hopefully. He barely nodded at me. I watched sadly as the couple flounced away hand in hand, the girl's dark locks flying in the wind. Free. God how I envied her. They looked to be upper second class.

The first night came and went uneventfully with dinner and gossip. Cal talked about our wedding plans as I plotted the next time I could sneak away for a cigarette since mother was watching me like a hawk. I'd picked the habit up when Cal left his lying around and forgot them, leaving me to go to bed at night. I looked over at Mrs. Brown who made a slight hand gesture that he was talking too much. I swallowed a giggle and nodded at her, but the sharp grip of my mother's hand on my arm stopped me and I excused myself for bed. I lay that night looking at the ceiling, with my worn copy of Pride and Prejudice lying on my chest. I was bored out of my mind. Looking at the clock, I padded out of the bedroom and checked on mother who was fast asleep thanks to the wine. Pulling my robe on, I decided to take a walk on deck and leaned against the rail of the first class deck. The faint sound of drums and music came from below the deck and I almost wanted to go toward it but I dared not.

The faint outline of a boy around my age sitting with his knees up and a pad of paper on his lap was visible below me. He must have noticed me standing there because I saw him wave at me. I nearly smiled, but waved back. I couldn't help thinking that the people I saw never took time to notice me, but a boy I had never even met and could hardly see took time out of his night to wave at me. As the moon came out from behind the clouds I could see his face and hair. He had a brassy golden head of hair and a sincere smile. He shrugged and made a motion to tell me he was glad for some light. I smiled slightly and nodded. That was the first time I saw him.

The next day, I was sitting at another trivial lunch as mother snatched my cigarette out of my mouth. I'd been so out of it, I hadn't even realized I pulled it out. Irked, I looked around the room and noticed a young girl being scolded by her mother and it reminded me so much of myself at that age, that I felt the sudden need to get out. I pushed my way onto the first class deck and leaned on the rail, wanting nothing more than to throw the pins from my hair. Daddy...I need you. I'm all alone...I need you...I had the feeling someone was watching me and I looked down for a second, seeing the boy looking up at me. I didn't realize it at first, but looked back seeing it was the boy from the night before. I was going to wave and call something out to him, but Cal's hand touched my shoulder as he leaned in to whisper that Mother was very upset with me for leaving lunch so abruptly. I rolled my eyes and stormed back toward the cabin.

"And don't roll your eyes at me Rose." He called after me as I scowled.

I thought all afternoon about running away. Where could I go though? Cal would only find me and bring me back and I'd have to live with he and my mother keeping me under watch or even worse, sending me to some sort of institution while Cal had mistress after mistress. I looked in the mirror before going to dinner. I could just hear my father say, Who are you anymore Rose? Where are you? How can you let her do this to you? I taught you to stand up for yourself. If he was here, things would have been different. He would have pulled them out of debt, or we would have been poor, but happy together. I would have rather we had nothing but each other, than everything and being alone. At dinner, someone's comment had triggered a debate.

"So when do you two plan on children soon?" Someone had asked us, and horrified I cried,

"No!" As Cal simultaneously said,

"Yes, as soon as possible." I looked at my mother, who nodded at Cal and shot daggers at me with her eyes. Cal also looked at me in horror, squeezing my hand a bit tightly.

"She was confused," He explained to everyone. "She knows we have an obligation to produce heirs." He said and I stood up suddenly.

"Is that all they are to you?" I asked and he looked up calm as the night, his eyes blazing.

"Sit Rose..." He said icily. I sighed.

"I'm sorry...I don't know what came over me...I think I should go lie down." I lied and he seemed to accept this, kissing my cheek.

As soon as I was in the room, I ripped the pins from my hair and pulled my jewelry off, looking in the mirror at my tear streaked face. This was all I had to look forward to. Being told what to do and doing it. There was no escape. None. No. I was going to escape. Tonight. Running from the room, I ran outside to the deck and took the stairs all the way down to the public deck. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going, but when I saw the rear of the ship, it all became clear. Gently, I climbed over the rails and looked down at my escape. I must have stayed there for a few minutes before someone's gentle voice said,

"Don't do it."

Damn, I hadn't known anyone was out there.

"Stay back!" I cried in my most desperate voice. "Don't come any closer!" This was all beginning to feel like a big mistake and I wanted to climb back over, but I was terrified to let go.

"Come on, just give me your hand, I'll pull you back over." He came closer and I could faintly feel his breath on my shoulders.

"No, stay where you are! I mean it! I'll let go!" He hesitated when I said this but suddenly said,

"No you won't." Suddenly I was mad, tired of everyone telling me what I was and wasn't going to do and I snapped.

"What do you mean 'no I won't?' Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do! You don't know me!" Casually, he shrugged and said,

"Well you would've done it already..."

I rolled my eyes, embarrassed.

"You're distracting me! Go away." I said, and from there he proceeded to use reverse psychology on me...even threatening to jump in after me. He said he was too involved. The only thought that went through my mind was, Get out while you still can you crazy bastard! He told me about a time he'd fallen through the ice in his hometown and wished I would get him off the hook. I finally said it.

"You're crazy." He laughed.

"That's what everybody says. But, with all due respect miss. I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship here..." He had a point. "Give me your hand. You don't want to do this." I felt the warmth of his hand touch my arm and I found the courage to let go and clutched it.

Slowly, I turned to face him and almost died in shock. The same boy I'd seen the past two days. He smiled kindly.

"I'm Jack Dawson." He said and quite honestly for a moment I couldn't remember my own name but somehow I blurted it out.

"Rose Dewitt-Bukater." He stared for a moment before laughing.

"I'm gonna have to get you to write that one down." For the first time in a while, I really laughed too.

I stared down at the baby in my arms, coming out of my memory and looked at her intently, trying to pick something to call her. I'd been certain she was a boy and had been set on calling him Jack. But here she was, a girl. As I looked at her, a tune went through my mind. Come Josephine in my flying machine, and it's up she goes...up she goes...

"Josephine?" I said tentatively, she looked up at me then and I suddenly knew it was her name.

"Have you chosen her name Mrs. Dawson?" The nurse asked me, inquiring for the birth certificate.

"Yes," I said, adjusting her easily. "Josephine Margaret Dawson."

Josephine and I went home the very next day from the Santa Monica General Hospital and back to the small apartment I'd been able to buy with the money I'd made waitressing. My friend Liz and I had set up the bedroom for her and she was waiting for us when we walked in. We'd met just after I'd come to California and she'd helped me get a job and find an apartment. A month later, I'd found out I was pregnant. As we sat on my couch, I laid my head against the back of it and cradled Josephine.

"Welcome home Jo."