Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry! (Though I wish I did!)

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Dante Can't Talk: Chp 1

It was a dark, stormy afternoon and three women sat bored in the Devil May Cry shop. This week had been especially slow. Not a single phone call. Not even a wrong number. The blonde woman sighed.

"Is Dante up?", she asked.

"Nope", the dark haired woman answered.

"He usually sleeps late into the day", said the one with red hair.

All three sighed in unison. They were really, really bored. Finally, the blonde stood up and started heading up the stairs.

"Where are you going, Trish?", one asked.

"I'm going to wake Dante, Lady", Trish replied.

Trish reached the top of the stairs and opened the door to Dante's room. The room was dark and messy. Nothing was where it was supposed to be. Dante was still asleep in his bed in the corner of the room. He was completely covered with a mixture of black pillows and sheets. Trish walked toward him and nearly tripped over a sword that was left carelessly on the ground. With an impatient sigh, she poked him.

"Dante? You awake?", she whispered.

"…", replied Dante.

"Pssst! Awake now?", asked Trish, poking him a little harder.

"….", answered Dante.

"I guess this leaves me no choice", said Trish.

Trish took a few steps back and smiled playfully.

"Get up!", she shouted, running forward and jumping onto Dante's bed.

Dante bounced up and fell to the floor with a soft thud. Trish looked over the edge of the bed curiously. Dante remained silent the whole time and it had her worried.

"Okay, something is definitely wrong", mumbled Trish.

Downstairs, Lucia was silently counting the number of wood planks on the floor. Lady sat bored beside her.

"Twenty five…twenty six…", Lucia counted.

"Forty seven, sixty eight, ninety two", interrupted Lady.

Lucia paused, shrugged, and started counting all over again.

"Lady! Lucia! Dante's sick!", Trish shouted, running down the stairs as fast as she could.

"He is?", Lucia asked with a worried tone.

"He'll live", said Lady. "He's a demon, after all. He would probably be better tomorrow".

Trish shook her head. "It's different! He's burning up. And he can't talk!".

"He…can't talk?", Lady asked, clearly interested. Trish nodded.

All three females ran up the stairs to his room and up to his bed. Dante was sat up in his bed and looked sleepily over at them.

"Dante?", Lady whispered.

Dante looked silently over at her.

"He can't talk. Observe", Trish instructed. She raised her hand and swiftly slapped the back of his head. Dante glared angrily at her and tried to speak, but failed. Lady laughed.

"He really can't talk!", she giggled.

Lucia gasped dramatically. "Oh no! Not the son of Sparda! Why!", she cried. Lady and Trish just stared.

Dante picked up a piece of paper and pencil from the ground and started writing. After a few seconds, he handed the paper to Trish.

"I can't read this chicken scratch", Trish said, giving the paper to Lucia.

"Is this even English?", asked Lucia. Lady took the paper from Lucia and growled.

"How dare you! You…ugh! You're disgusting!", Lady roared. Dante smiled mischievously.

"You can actually read that?", Trish asked.

"Yeah", Lady responded. "Why?".

"This is great! You can take care of Dante now!", Lucia announced.

"What!", exclaimed Lady.

"Well, how will we know what he needs if we can't read his handwriting? You can read it so you're the best one for the job", Trish explained. Lady shook her head.

"There is no way on this earth that I'm going to take care of that demon!", shouted Lady.

A few hours later…

"Lady! Dante's ringing that bell again!", Trish called out.

Lady ran out of the kitchen holding a box of pizza in one hand and a bottle of soda in the other.

"I swear, if he rings that bell one more time, I'm going to make him eat it!", Lady snarled, running up the stairs to his room.

Somehow, Trish and Lucia convinced Lady to take care of Dante. Those two were miracle workers.

Dante smiled as Lady entered the room with his lunch. Lady gently placed the box of pizza on his lap and the bottle of soda next to his bed.

"Anything else before I actually try to live my own life again?", Lady asked angrily.

Dante thought for a moment and scribbled something down on the piece of paper. Lady snatched up the paper, read it, and walked back downstairs again.

"What does he want this time?", Lucia asked.

"I'm going to need you girls' help for this one", Lady said, ignoring Lucia's question.

"But what does he want?", Trish repeated.

Lady pointed at the big screen TV set that was placed carefully in front of the beat up couch in the main area.

"…He's got to be kidding…"

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A/N: Yay! This is my first Devil May Cry fic, although I've been playing it ever since it first came out! Anyway, please review! It may help Dante get better quicker!