Disclaimer: I wish I could say is was mine/I wish I could say it was mine/But it really is not (sung to the beat of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" even though I'm Jewish)

Running to my room as fast as my legs would take me, I barely noticed my surroundings. Not that the tears in my eyes really helped matters at all. I was furious at myself for slipping up so badly. Not only had I completely acted like a fool, but there was no chance of escape tonight. I needed to try anyway. Rummaging around my closet, I found the suitcase I had packed a few days before. Dragging it out, I realized how heavy it was.

Great, I thought, how in Goddess' name am I going to get this down the stairs much less out of the house and onto my horse? I had wanted to pack as much as possible to take with my, now I rifled through my stuff to determine how much I could fit into my little knapsack. The knapsack could easily fit on my back and I could always add a small bag to attach to my horse's saddle.

Wondering if anyone was going to come after me or if my mother had warned the guards of my likely escape, I stopped my packing to listen for footsteps outside my door. But there was no one there; no one was going to come after me. It was like no one even cared. I knew that wasn't true and I shouldn't be thinking such things, but I couldn't help the feeling of disappointment that rose with that thought.

Shaking my head, I wandered over to my window seat to look over the edge. I could see my horse standing there, contentedly eating some grass. Slowly becoming paranoid, I turned my head first left then right trying to determine if I could see a shadow nearby that may be a human. Seeing no one, I turned my back on the window and onto the task at hand: repacking my worldly possessions so I could leave as soon as my parents went to bed.

The house seemed quiet already, but I knew better. The things said in soft voices behind closed doors are always the most interesting and thus said late at night when most are sound asleep. I quickly changed into my nightwear, knowing that my father would expect me to bid him pleasant dreams before I retired for the night. My riding wear was already hidden away under my covers so I could change into them as soon as I was back from this nightly ritual.

My footsteps seemed awfully loud tonight and I was trembling with anticipation. Only a couple more hours and then I would be free of this place, free of the burdens that came with being a princess. I, unlike my mother, had decided if I couldn't balance Sunrunner and princess I would be Sunrunner first, regardless of my birthright. I came to my father's study and knocked on his door. I could sense rather than see the guards who stood in the shadows.

My father bid me enter and I slowly walked in, trying to slow my beating heart. "Good evening father," I said softly. Keeping my eyes glued to the carpet under my feet, I tried to determine how disappointed he could be for my performance in the Summer Room.

"It is a lovely night is it not, daughter?" my father replied. With such a simple reply, I was forced to look up at him to see if I could read his face better than his voice. Unable to find the answer I was seeking, I mumbled, "I do not know father, I have been inside since afternoon. I'd imagine it would be, or at least I would hope so since it is my birthday and I'd like to have the perfect weather all day." I forced myself to stop rambling.

The slightest bit of emotion entered my father's voice as he said, "Quiet talkative tonight Remilyn. Anything else you'd like to say? Whether to me, or your mother, or your brother perhaps?" There it was, the anger and disappointment I had been expecting.

Taking a deep breath, I met my father's eye and whispered, "No father." He nodded once and flicked his eyes to the door. I couldn't believe I was being excused so casually. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to be his little girl again, sitting on his lap and trying to play the part of princess. Those days had long since passed and I was officially seventeen, no longer my daddy's little girl but rather a pebble in his shoe.

Blinking back tears, I held my head high as I left. I may have been excused like some commoner, but I still had my dignity. My room seemed closer than it had been when I had left it minutes before. Blowing out all the candles, I changed my clothes in the moonlight. Checking to be sure my horse was still outside my window, I whistled her closer to the wall. Grabbing my bag, I determined that it's weight, plus my own and my knapsacks should be enough to not weigh my horse down. Gently throwing it to the ground, it still landed with a thump and I quickly drew back from the window in case anyone saw me.

I had given up the idea of simply being able to walk out of the castle, but my room was not too far up and there was a trellis I should be able to climb down. Slipping the knapsack over one shoulder, I carefully climbed out the window and onto the trellis. The climb down didn't take too long, but attaching my small bag to the horse did and I lost precious moments there. Hopefully, no one had some odd desire to come talk to me at that moment or any moment until morning when I would already be most of the way to Goddess Keep.

Tying the last of the knots, I jumped onto my horse's back and kicked off, thankful that she knew the way to Goddess Keep and I wouldn't have to direct her. I still feared that someone would spot me and bring me back to the castle, but minutes turned to hours and I was finally able to sleep without fear of someone catching me. The sunrise woke me hours earlier than I expected it to. Not that I hadn't slept, but being on a horse's back and still feeling tense from the previous day had not made for the most pleasant sleep or dreams.

I had been hoping to recognize part of the path to Goddess Keep, but if I was to ever know a place it would not be here. My horse, who I thought had known the way, had led us into a forest completely unrecognizable. Perhaps if I had known the beginning direction we had taken, I may have been able to recollect the map that my father had in his study- a map that showed every part of our discovered world, a map that would have shown even this forest had I known where to look. My horse was still slowly walking through the woods, hopefully not back the way we had. I clucked at her to make her stop long enough for me to dismount and find the food I had packed for my journey.

Munching on some fruit, I led the horse in the same direction she had been moving. If only I could get to some sunlight, I would be able to converse with my aunt and get a sense of which direction I should be moving. I was not looking forward to that conversation. Part of my journey to Goddess Keep was to be able to complete it without help. This was not Aunt Andrade's challenge, but one I set for myself. As a seventeen-year-old girl, I shouldn't have even been wandering without some form of an escort, but I wanted to prove that I was able to take care of myself.

A Sunrunner's weakest link is being taken away from the sun, something I couldn't even see through the thick foliage. If only I could find a way out of this forest I felt I'd be able to continue on my way just fine-just wandering the skies would give me enough information. So, I continued on my way.

Without the sun for a guide, I could not tell you how long I walked through that forest. Eventually, the light seemed to be brighter several paces ahead of me. I emerged from the forest, quickly realizing how much trouble I may have gotten myself into. Tents were propped up everywhere. I was unable to adjust to the bright colors fast enough to determine who they belonged to, but I did not think they were someone friendly. I hid within the trees, watching the men sitting around the tents and campfires, trying to remember whose colors they wore and decide what my next course of action would be.