"I guess it's just you and me from here on out, baby girl," I say as I lift Claire out of her crib in the morning. She doesn't cry when I pick her up; it's like she understands that I'm sad and wants to comfort me. She turns into me as I cradle her, cooing softly at me and looking up into my face. I feel hot tears sliding down my cheeks and quickly wipe them on my sleeve, sighing. "Let's go and get ourselves some breakfast, shall we?"

I sit at the table, feeding Claire her bottle and pretending to read the paper, incapable of really focusing on any story. I look up and across the table at Blink's chair, actually half-expecting him to be there. But he's not. The chair is empty, and all I see is plain, pale-blue wall behind it. I look down at Claire and she looks up at me, and I sigh. "What am I going to do with out him, Claire?"

She doesn't answer me; she just continues sucking down her bottle and staring at me with those big, curious blue-green eyes. I stare back and wonder how I'm going to do this alone.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Jason, baby, you have got to leave that apartment," my mom says into the phone. She's probably right, I mean, I haven't left in two weeks. I've even taken to having my groceries delivered and ordering nothing but take-out rather than going out myself and doing something. "It's not just bad for you, it's bad for Claire. She needs to get out and get some fresh air. You're not doing her any good sitting around the house in sweatpants and a dirty tee shirt and moping."

"My tee shirt's clean," I mumble in argument.

"Jason, get up off the couch, take a shower, shave, because Lord knows you probably haven't done that in a week or two," I feel my face and scowl at the phone, glad my mom can't see me, or my exaggerated five o'clock shadow, "...and go out and meet someone."

"I don't want to meet anyone. I want Blink back. I love Blink."

"I know you do, honey-bunch, but he's gone. And you have a child to think about. You cannot raise a child by yourself."

"Why not? You did, and look how I turned out."

"You're a rare case, sweetie. But do you have any idea how hard it was, doing it all on my own? I nearly went off the deep end on more than one occasion."

"Nearly?" A trace of a smirk finds its way onto my face.

My mom chuckles. "See? You're coming back." She sighs. "Boo-boo," she says, calling me by the nickname she gave me when I was a baby, "I know you're heartbroken. And I feel for you, I really do. I'm actually considering flying out to California to knock some sense into that boy myself. But you need to get your life back into swing. Go back to work. Dance. Make some friends, meet some people. Just get out of your house, baby."

"I can't. I can't leave Claire."

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Jason," my mom groans. "You know what? I'm coming over. I'm going to watch Claire, and you're going to clean yourself up and go out."

"Mom, I--"

"Don't you argue with me, boy," she says, her voice slipping into Angry Black Woman Mode. "I may be gettin' older and you may be taller than me now, but I will still paddle your ass, don't think I won't."

"Fine," I say sulkily.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

My mom comes in without even knocking. "Hello!" She comes strolling into the kitchen, clucking her tongue at me. "Jason, what have you done to yourself..." She grabs me by the chin, turning my head from side to side, inspecting my face. "It's called a razor, baby, you should really look into it."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm gonna go take a shower." I start to head out of the kitchen, but she grabs my arm.

"Hey, hey, wait a minute, boy. First off, where's my lovin', and second, where's my grandbaby?"

She taps her cheek and I roll my eyes and kiss her. "Claire's in the nursery, supposedly taking a nap, but I doubt she's sleeping. She won't sleep."

Mom just chuckles and sashays into the nursery, lifting Claire out of her crib and cooing to her affectionately. I stand and watch for a minute before grabbing a towel from the linen closet and heading into the bathroom.

I spend nearly forty-five minutes in the shower because the hot water feels so good and it's been so long since I've been able to shower without having to worry about the baby. I finally get out to be welcomed by the steam-filled bathroom, and use the blow-dryer to clear off the mirror. I manage to shave without nicking myself once, and look in the mirror with a small, satisfied smile.

Heading into the bedroom, I pull a simple button-up shirt out of the closet and tug it on with slacks, then slip into my shoes and walk back out to the living room.

"Satisfied?"

My mom turns around on the couch and looks me up and down. "Phew! Look at you!" She grins. "You're so damn good-lookin', baby, just like your mama."

I laugh and lean down to kiss her head. "I'll be gone two, three hours tops."

"You take as long as you need, Boo-boo. We'll manage." She looks at Claire and grins. "Won't we, baby? Yes, we will," she coos.

"Thanks, Mom. Love you." I grab my keys and head out the door, tripping over a suitcase as I do so. "Shit!" I look up to see a tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, eye patch-wearing man pacing back and forth in the hallway.

"Mush," he says, stopping in his tracks and staring at me.

"Blink." I stand, mouth gaping, staring back. "What... what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't do it." His voice cracks a little at the end, and he clears his throat, pushing his hair off his forehead nervously. "I couldn't stay away."

Before I can respond, he steps forward, throwing his arms around my neck and kissing me.