Pirate of the Caribbean: Big Brother 8

A/N: I was watching Big Brother the other day, my favorite reality show and today it came to me as I was listening to a pirate music radio station online and typing my other story. This is meant to be pure parody, a joke if you will. Characters will most likely be very OOC. Also you will notice there are more men in this than woman, the reason why… not very many women in COTBP/DMC. If you keep a sense of humor with this, hopefully you will enjoy and laugh at this as much as I have been while writing this. On with the story and Enjoy! Oh I can't get the stars to work, so to differentiate between actions and speaking I will use parenthesis to indicate actions.
For example Jack: (action) Arrgh!
Get it? Got it? Good.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or Big Brother. So Disney and CBS can not sue me for using their characters or TV show formatting and wording/phrases/etc. HA!
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Julie Chen: Good Evening, I'm Julie Chen and welcome to Big Brother 8! We have had house-guests that have loved, hated, lied, and battled each other competing for half a million dollars over the last 7 seasons, but we have never had house-guests quite like this summer's house-guests. Welcome to Big Brother: Pirates!

Announcer Voice Guy (AVG): It's a house like no other. 50 cameras watch your every move and 76 microphones eavesdrop on your every word. This is the Big Brother House. Tonight, some of the most ruthless pirates will be competing for half a million dollars. They will be living in complete isolation, cut off from the outside world, competing for food, luxuries, and most importantly, power. Each Week, the house-guests must evict one of their own and in the end only one pirate will remain standing. Twelve pirates were selected out of the millions that applied. Find out who will be entering the house, and who will join them. Find out tonight on the premier of Big Brother 8: Pirates of the Caribbean!

Julie: (standing with a small black velvet bag in her hand) Who will be entering the Big Brother House? Lets meet the players now. Coming from the Pelagostos Island, Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack: (walks around the corner and lines up at the front stairs) 'Ello Luv.

Julie: From Tortuga, Will Turner.

Will: (comes out and lines up next to Jack) Good Evening Ms. Chen.

Julie: From Port Royal, Elizabeth Swann.

Elizabeth: (walks out and stands next to Will) Hi.

Julie: From Port Nassau, Anna Maria Mendoza.

Anna: (walks out and stands next to Elizabeth)

Julie: From St. Kitt, Howard Pintel.

Pintel: (walks over and stands next to Anna) 'Ello poppet.

Julie: From Dominica, Jonathan Ragetti

Ragetti: (comes out trying not to laugh, stands two stairs under Jack, snickers) Poppet…

Julie: From Hades, Hector Barbossa.

Barbossa: (walks out, crunching into a green apple, standing next to Ragetti)

Julie: From Fort Charles, Commodore James Norrington.

Norry: (steps out and stands by Barbossa, looking at him questioningly, then slowly inches away from Barbossa as much as possible without creating a huge gap)

Julie: From London, Joshua Mercer.

Mercer: (steps out next to Norrington)

Jack: (tries to hid behind Pintel and failing miserably)

Julie: And lastly, from Bristol, Lord Cutler Beckett.

Jack: (pretends to gags with disgust when he hears Beckett's name)

Beckett: (stands next to Mercer)

Jack: (trying desperately not to be seen by Beckett or Mercer, still failing miserably)

Julie: I will now draw names from this bag to determine the order in which you enter the house. When you enter, pick your bed as quickly as you can for not all beds are equal in the Big Brother house… When I draw your name, line up at the door. Once I have drawn all four names you may enter the house when I say 'You may enter.' The first four people to enter the house are: (reaches in the bag, draws a name) Howard Pintel, (draws another name) Jack Sparrow…

Jack: Captain… Captain Jack Sparrow.

Julie: (draws a name) Elizabeth Swann, (draws a fourth name) Joshua Mercer. You may enter.

Jack/Elizabeth/Pintel/Mercer: (rush inside looking at all the bedrooms)

Jack: (finds a comfortable double bed, throws his bag on the bed then lies on it) Mine!

Elizabeth: (grabs another double bed for herself and Will)

Outside the house

Julie: (draws 4 more names) Hector Barbossa, Anna Maria, Jonathan Ragetti, Will Turner. You may enter.

Barbossa/Anna/Ragetti/Will: (enters house, searches for beds)

Mercer: (finds a private room with only 2 single beds, but the down side is that the beds are cots) It is the most private room... (Throws his bag on one cot then lies down on the other)

Pintel/Ragetti/Barbossa: (finds a room of six single beds, each claims one for himself)

Will: (finds Elizabeth, claims a double bed next to hers)

Anna: (Claims a single bed in the same room as Pintel, Ragetti, and Barbossa wanting to be close to any plotting that may be happening against her or her future alliances)

Outside the House

Julie: There is no need to draw the last names. Cutler Beckett, James Norrington, You may enter.

Norry/Beckett: (enter, expecting the worst pick of the beds)

Norry: (picks a single bed in the same room as Barbossa, Pintel, Anna and Ragetti)

Mercer: (finds Beckett and shows him the room he picked out) I know it's not much but it's private.

Beckett: Good Work. (Tosses his bag onto the other cot)

All: (go to the living room and takes a seat. Beckett, Mercer, Norrington on one couch, Jack, Anna, Will, Elizabeth on another couch, Pintel and Ragetti in the nominee chairs, Barbossa on a third couch by himself)

Julie: This season we are bringing back project DNA with a twist. Some of our house-guests know each other from their past. But are these familiar faces friend or foe? (Broadcasting into the house on the TV screen in the living room) Hello everybody. Has everybody gotten themselves comfortable inside the house?

All: yeah

Julie: That's good to hear. Now, just as a reminder, in this game, you are expected to expect the unexpected. In other words, Do Not Assume. Has anybody noticed there are two extra beds?

All: (respond in the affirmative)

Julie: Well, do not assume. Those beds are there for a reason… You have two more house-guests that will be joining you. One of which will join you right now. Mystery House-guest, you may come out of the Diary Room.

All: (look towards the Diary Room door)

Bill: (opens door, steps out into the living room)

Jack: (stares at Bill) Bootstrap? Bill Turner?

Barbossa: What? I thought I killed ye years ago!

Bill: No, I managed to survive.

Will: (gob smacked) Father? Is it really you?

Bill: Son? William! Oh My God!

Will: (jumps up and rushes over to his dad)

Bill/Will: (hugs one another, both go sit next to each other)

Julie: That was quite a reunion and it appears some of you know Bill already, other than his son. Your first Head of Household competition will begin in one hour. At that point the second mystery guest will be introduced. (End broadcast)

All: (get up and begin to wander the house learning where everything is located)
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AVG: Next Chapter, HoH, Pirate style… Who will win? Who will they nominate for Eviction? Who will win the first Power of Veto competition? Will they use it to save one of the nominees from eviction? Find out next time on Big Brother 8: Pirates of the Caribbean!

Read and Review Please!

As Always... Take What Ye Can... Give Nothin' Back!
Mrs. Capt. Jack Sparrows