"Are you going to be okay

Chapter 10…

Morning came too fast, was all Chloe could think about as she opened her eyes. She couldn't remember light being so bright in her bedroom. A moan next to her startled her and cleared the fog in her brain. She wasn't alone in the bed. She took in her surrounding one item at a time. Blue flannel shirt careless flung on the floor, next to black sneakers and blue jeans. She had something heavy across her stomach. She tried to move her legs but she was completely tangled up between the owner of the arm and the sheets. She turned her head taking in more of her surroundings. A few feet away from the clothes on the floor were a white t-shirt across from a chair. The hand of her companion moved and pulled her body closer to his and he let out a moan in her hair. She placed her hand over the shoulder nearest to her face and ran it along the smooth skin. She got a flash of skin entangled in a passionate embrace. She heard another moan escape from the lips in her hair. She wiggled her body a little; another hand came from nowhere to rest on her hip. She had mental image of that same hand squeezing her in that same spot. She closed her eyes hoping to see who it belonged to in her head. There were more limbs, than a chest, than a smile and it ended with the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. She saw her hands bury themselves in thick black hair and bring the smiling lips towards hers demandingly.

"Clark." Chloe whispered opening her eyes again.

"Chlo'." Clark whispered as he brought he gently brushed his fingers on her body going from her hip all the way to the back of her neck. He took hold of some of her hair and gently tugged it back forcing her to look up and look into his blue eyes. As soon as their eyes met they smiled at each other. Events of the night, or should she say morning, came rushing back to her.

She had asked Clark to stay with her and she had fallen asleep. When she had woken up a few hours later, her eyes puffy from all her tears had fallen on Clarks sleeping face just a few inches from hers. He had had his arms around her waist holding her close to him. When she had try to move out of his embrace, he had tighten his arms around her bringing her even closer. Being so close to Clark, had stirred emotions and desires buried deep in her subconscious. She had whispered his name and he had stirred and opened his eyes. She had expected him to jump out of bed and apologize for their closeness. They would have never brought up this situation or at least brushed under the rug of their friendship like so many awkward moments between them.

She had been wrong, for the first time in their relationship Clark had really surprised her. Instead of moving away he had brought a hand to her chin and placed the softest kiss on her lips. She had hesitated for a second before responding to the kiss. It had started soft and then intensified. When Clark finally had broken the kiss, Chloe had been gasping for air. She had looked at Clark with surprise, but had been afraid to utter a sound in fear of breaking whatever magic was in the air. Clark had just looked at her, waiting. She could tell from his hand hovering over her hip that he was unsure if he should stop or if he should kiss her again. So she had taken the lead. She had plunged her fingers in his hair bringing down his face towards hers and planted a kiss with all the passion she had felt for him throughout the years. Clark had responded with as much intensity, changing position so that now he was lying on top of her. As the kissing intensified Clark started running his hand over Chloe's hips, gently massaging them. Chloe pressed her body with all her might towards his, Clark let out a moan of pleasure. Chloe's thoughts had been racing: They should stop this. This was getting out of hand because she would not be satisfied with just a few kisses. She wanted more and from the way Clark was kissing her and moving against her body, he wanted more as well.

"Clark, maybe we should stop." Chloe had let out when Clark finally released her lips.

"Do you want me to" He had asked leaning on the arm that kept him from crushing her. She had taken in the image of Clark on top of her. She had imagined being with him in this position for so long. What was she afraid of? They were both consenting adults.

"No… I just wanted to voice it out" She had answered still panting.

"It's voiced out" He said in a husky voice and reclaimed her lips. 'The hell with it!' Chloe had thought and gone back to exploring her friend's body and now they were at the morning – hours- after. Clark's eyes were mesmerizing.

"Hi!" Clark whispered. He lowered his head and gently brushed his lips to hers.

"Hi" Chloe answered back as he pulled away. This felt so normal. Why hadn't they done this before, there was none of the awkwardness that she thought would have been there. Two best friends that had taken their relationship to a level that they both never thought they could. She had imagined this several times but they always involved massive amount of alcohol for her and red k for him. Red K? At that thought Chloe jumped out of the bed studying Clark. She pulled the sheets away from Clark. She could not help the sharp intake of breath at seeing Clark bare body in the light of day. She quickly took in the state of his hands and his neckline. There was no ring, no necklace, bracelet or any form of jewelry on her lover. Clark just looked at her puzzled wondering if she hadn't gone crazy because they slept together. He gave her a worried looked when she started patting the mattress slightly pushing him away from where he was laying. This is not how he had pictured the morning after. Chloe was mumbling to herself as she brushed her hands on the covers. Clark got out of the bed and came to stand behind her.

"What are you looking Chlo'. Did you loose something?" 'My mind maybe,' thought Chloe. When she couldn't find anything in the bed she turned and looked at Clark. He was so tall standing next to her in all his glory. She felt a twinge of desire just looking at him. The fact that he was standing there in his birthday suit was proof that he was under the influence of something thought Chloe. The Clark she knew was way to shy about his body to stand in front of a woman without any clothes. Kal El would or even Bizarro would. She placed her hand on his shoulder and pushed him gently to the light of sun. There was no skin change – it wasn't Bizarro. She let her fingers run on his chest staring intently into his eyes, praying 'please don't flash red, please don't flash red'.

"What is wrong Chloe? You are starting to worry me" said Clark. "Chlo', don't …" Clark let out a moan as Chloe placed her lips on his chest giving him a multitude of little kisses. This wasn't making any sense. One moment they were all fine in the bed another she has a worried look on her face and is inspecting him, the sheets and she had pushed him in the sunlight. It suddenly dawned on him what she had been doing and was probably still doing and it felt like a cold shower. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away. She thought he wasn't himself.

"Chloe, I am not Kal El or Bizarro Clark!" he said between clenched teeth. Why would she think something like that?

"Are you sure?" Chloe said close to tears. "I mean, what happened this morning between you and I… you are standing in front of me with no clothes and not blushing. I mean this is not like you. You don't kiss Chloe Sullivan; you certainly don't have sex with Chloe Sullivan. The only explanation I can think of is that you are not Clark Kent."

"Chloe" Clark whispered softly. He pulled her in his arm. No wonder she reacted that way. He never really kissed her, except for that fateful Thursday more than a year ago. He had never let his feeling really show for her. As far she was concerned, what happened between them was out of character for him. "I am not on anything." He seriously had messed up if she thought that only a Clark under the influence would be with her.

"We had SEX!" Chloe was now freaking out. Well the non-awkwardness didn't last long she thought as panicked set in.

"Chlo" Clark placed a soft kiss on her forehead rocking her back and forth. He had a lot of damage to heal when it came to Chloe's feelings for him. He heard her heart beating a mile a minute. She couldn't stop the questions in her head: What was going to happen to their friendship? Were there still friends? Or were they more? Would he take it back? Or should she do that first? Should she have to brush this under their friendship rug again? The same way they had done this every time before. They had never gone this far. Naked Clark was holding her not so naked body. "Breathe Chloe" She heard Clark say as he lifted her body and carried her back to the bed. He sat down placing her on his lap. She had a flash back to the night before, they had been in this position before. She had been crying because of …

"Jimmy…" She whispered. They had broken up because he thought Clark and her had feelings for one another. She looked at Clark. He was staring at her worried. What had they done she thought. "Oh my god Lana," was her next thought. What had she done? She had slept with the love of Lana's life, her friend.

"Chloe, come on. Say something." He held her chin forcing her to look at him. "It's me, Clark." He couldn't understand what was going on in his Chloe's head. Her facial expressions kept going from panic to horror to worry to panic again. He wanted her to look at him like she had done earlier when they had just woken up.

He didn't think that waking up after making love to Chloe would be like this. Her all panicked and him scrambling to figure out the words to say to her, to get her to see that this wasn't something he had done under the influence of anything.

"I need coffee" She mumbled to herself, massaging her temples. She heard Clark chuckle. He lifted her up again and placing her very gently on the bed. She couldn't help her addictions.

"I'll go make you some coffee, just stop panicking" he said getting up. He pulled on his boxers, jeans and a t-shirt. Chloe watched him get dress all trace of panic gone. She was in awe of his muscles and how is body moved. He chuckled again and came close to her again on the bed and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. "I'll be right back with some caffeine and then you and I can talk about everything." He whispered and went to the door, leaving a shocked Chloe sitting on his bed. She brought her hands to her lips where he had just placed a kiss.

Was she panicking for nothing? Clark was in to her, the way he'd just held her and gave her a kiss this morning, should in every way calm her down, right? He was attentive, loving and caring. Just like last night when she had stormed in the barn before she broke into tears because Jimmy had broken up with her.

"Oh Jimmy", she thought, the young man had been right, she still had romantic feelings for Clark and based on what happened earlier that morning Clark wasn't as immune to her as she had thought. Could she really have a relationship with Clark? Could it even work? Or would it be a repeat of the Lana and Clark saga? Could she face either Lana or Jimmy if Clark and her were to be an item? She looked around the room for her clothes and slipped them on as fast as she could. She didn't like where her thoughts were taking her. Or at least she didn't want to venture there until she had some caffeine and was able to think straight.

She was on the last stair when she was abruptly stopped in her tracks by Clark's voice.

He wasn't alone in the kitchen. She wanted to check who it was before barging in.

"Things change you know, sometimes for the best and other times for the worst." He was saying. Chloe poked her head in the Kitchen and noticed that he was on the phone. She continued her entry in the Kent's kitchen.

"I miss you too Lana" Clark said. "Maybe it was a mistake to end things the way we did." Lana said something and Clark answered "I love you, too." He was answered by a loud crash behind him.

Chloe had knocked down a couple of pans in her shock. Clark turned his head in the direction of the noise and saw Chloe standing there staring at him, disbelief written all over her face. Clark put the phone down and went to her. She looked as if she was going to faint.

"Chloe?" He hadn't meant for her to hear that, not before he had had a chance to talk to her about their relationship. Knowing Chloe the worst scenario was going though her head and he needed to clear the situation as fast as possible. She was white as a sheet; Clark reached out a hand towards her. She looked at his hand coming near her and pulled away.

"Chloe?" asked Clark again, "Are you okay?" She just stared at the spot where his hand had almost grabbed hers; she felt frozen. Inside Chloe was raging a war with her emotions. Clark and she, had been friends for a long time, she had stood by him through thick and thin, through lies, Lana, Alyssa, Kayla and back to Lana again. She had been his shoulder to cry on when his dad had passed away, his confident when he needed one. He had always been the most important person in her life. How many times had she been willing to die for him? She couldn't count. He was her everything, she knew that, she had known that from the moment that she had laid eyes on him a few years ago. She also had known that every year despite all her efforts, she didn't learn to love him less but loved him more. She had just become a pro at hiding it and disguising it as over protectiveness and friendship. She loved him.

Chloe looked at Clark. He didn't. He never did and never will see her as more than a friend. A small voice inside her head reminded her of what had transpired between them in the twilight of the night. But this was nothing. It was a lapse of judgment. How many times can her heart be broken before it stops beating?

"I can't do this anymore…" whispered Chloe, looking at the floor.

"Listen Chloe, what you just heard" Clark started.

"I can't do this anymore…" she stated with more resolve. " I can't Clark. I can't be for you what you want me to be."

"Chloe wait. Let's talk…"

"Earlier… was a mistake. You and I both know that…"

"No … You can't do this Chloe. You can't honestly tell me that we made a mistake here"

"Clark, I have been your secret keeper, your girl Friday, your buddy… but I will be dammed if I become your sex buddy."

"That was not what last night was about." Clark started.

"Well it sure feels like it in this light. I just stood there behind you as you told another woman that you love her. Clark, I don't want to have the conversation in which I ask you what are we?"

"Are you asking?" Asked Clark, he was starting to panic. This was not how he had planned this conversation, not with her having heard him saying 'I love you' to someone else a few minutes after being with her.

"I am tired. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. Not with you, not right now." She said walking pass him. Clark grabbed her arm. He didn't want her to leave. They hadn't talked about it.

"Chloe, I don't want to brush us under a rug, I want us to talk, don't leave like this." He said in a very soft voice holding on to her.

"There is no US Clark. There was never an US. And you are right; we are not going to brush this morning under a rug. I am done …I am through with you Clark. Don't call me, don't email…don't contact me. I am not just leaving the farm. Consider this my notice to our friendship or whatever the hell we had."

"Chloe, you don't mean that…we can definitely talk this through. You are overreacting."

"LET ME GO CLARK!" screamed Chloe.

"Let her go Clark" yelled another voice coming from the door. "What is going on?" Martha asked as she walked into the kitchen coming in between the two. Clark had let go of Chloe's arm as soon as Chloe had screamed at him. She had never done that. In all the years of their friendship Chloe had never looked at him with a mixture of fear and revulsion. She had always looked at him with love and tenderness.

"What is going on?" Martha asked again, this time turning to Chloe who looked all shaken.

"Nothing is the matter Mrs. Kent." Answered Chloe bitterly, "and maybe that was the problem from the get go. I won't be coming back here. Thank you for everything Martha" Chloe added. She hugged her and ran to the door. Clark made a movement to go after her but Martha took a step in his direction and if he had super sped he would have run her over.

"Clark, can you explain what just happened here?" asked Martha, looking at her son's worried face.

"I don't know Mom. One minute I am on top of the world and next I feel like I have fallen I can get up. I have to go talk to her."

"Clark, I don't know what just happened here, but I can tell you that going after her right now would be a bad idea. Especially if you are not sure about what just happened. At least give her time to cool off."

"Maybe you are right."

Clark opened his eyes. He should have gone after her right away that day maybe things would have turned out differently, he thought. He looked at the sleeping form next to him and got off the bed making sure not to disturb Lois. He wanted to avoid having a conversation with her after the blow out of earlier in the morning. Neither he nor Lois had gotten the chance to sleep last night. As they had gotten ready to settle in for a night of romance, his super hearing had picked up on an emergency and he had to leave a very unhappy Lois in the middle of a very passionate kiss.

When he had gotten back he had been met by a very frustrated fiancée, who had threaten to make him sleep on the couch. In the end they had fallen asleep on their side of the bed, her still displeased with the fact that he had left her like that, him just happy to be in a bed.

His thought drifted back to his memories. There hadn't been a day that had passed that he hadn't wish that he had super sped after Chloe that day, kissed her and told her that he was in love with her. Yes he did love Lana but not the way she thought. He should have told her that he had realized that morning that Chloe was the one he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He would have told her that what she had over heard two friends saying their goodbye.

Lana had called him to tell him that she had met someone and that she wanted to know if he had finally realized that Chloe was the one for him. They had discussed their break up and how they wish they had realized sooner that they were better friends than lovers. He should have just told Chloe that he loved her. That she meant more to him than she could ever imagine. He should have. If he had things would have turned out differently. She would not have been married to someone else or have had a child with someone else. Clark eyes fell on Lois. If she had stayed another voice told him, you would have never fallen for Lois.

What was he doing, he thought. The Chloe he was thinking about didn't exist anymore. It was part of a past that he could never take back. He had to live in the present and think of the future. His future was Lois; he knew that, so why was the past haunting him so much. He took another look at his wife to be and headed to the bathroom. He needed a shower to clear his head. To clear out Chloe.

"You smell like vanilla and honey" She heard behind her. Two seconds later two strong arms snaked themselves around her and she felt a man's torso pressed against her back.

"Ollie…Stop it! I have hot pan in my hands and I will use it" The hands released right away and Oliver backed away.

"Come on Chloe… You are such a killjoy… Isn't she Lara?" The five year old sitting at the breakfast counter just smiled. She was happy to see her uncle Lollie. He always made her mommy smile. And Mommy needed to smile thought the little girl. Now Oliver had picked up a spatula and poked Chloe with it.

"Oliver! Stop being so childish or no pancake for you." Chloe joked as she felt the spatula touch her Skin.

"You wouldn't" Oliver said feigning indignation.

"She would Uncle Lollie." Added the little girl. Oliver directed his attention to the brunette version Chloe. He rush towards her and picked her up. He lifted her up above his head. Squeals of joy escaped the toddlers mouth followed by laughter. Chloe watched her friend and her daughter enjoyed themselves. He started making plane noises as Lara pretended she was an airplane.

"Breakfast is ready" Chloe said as she placed the plates of pancakes, eggs and sausages on the counter. She was answered by the noise of seats being pulled into place and more giggles. Chloe watched the interaction between Oliver and he daughter. She couldn't help the sadness that crept up in her heart as she thought that her little girl would never have this with her father. She would never be able to give her daughter this.

"Hey Chlo' whispered Oliver, come back to us." She smiled at Oliver. He knew her so well.

"I am here with you guys." She responded. She shouldn't think like this. There were so much more she could offer Lara.

"So … Have you thought about my proposition" Oliver asked.

"Oliver …I don't know…This would be to much of an imposition."

"Come on Chloe…I really will not mind waking up every morning to this." He said pointing at her and her child.

"It's not like this every morning, Oliver. Sometimes there is screaming, and food fights."

"I can deal."

"And we are messy…"

"I have a maid"

"We are noisy"

"So am I"

"What about your lifestyle, how is it going to look when you bring your lady friends…"

"Not a problem, I won't have lady friends. They are overated."

"Oliver … be serious"

"I have never been more serious. Take my apartment. You and Lara are my family, I would do anything for you, even renounce my lifestyle."

"Ollie…"

"I won't take no for an answer" Oliver added as he planted a kiss on her forehead. How could she refuse? She needed to find a new place to stay. Oliver was offering her his apartment. He would not be there all the time and she could stay for as long as she needed to.

"Okay …but just for a little while."

"AWESOME!" screamed Oliver. Turning to the child he added, " Hey Lara, you get to live with me. Isn't that the bestest."

"The bestest!" replied the little girl high-fiving her uncle.

"Let's go pack" Oliver added picking up the girl and heading to the bedrooms.

She really hoped she was making the right decision she thought cleaning up the table.

TBC