Update February 25, 2007 – Saxyguy – Sorry for the long wait! I just found me a new beta reader! Just got the first chapter back today. I'll update as I get them back. Laters!

Naruto Remix

By: Leo08 and saxyguy06

Leo - Well hey everyone! First off let me start by saying thanks for reading our corny fic!

Saxyguy - Yeah wazz… Whoa, whoa, whoa…Hold the phone, STOP! Since when is this fic supposed to be corny?

Leo - Since I said so. Now to introduce our cast!

Naruto - HI ALL! I'm the one the only NARUTO! insert victory pose here

Sakura – rolls eyes Thank the gods for that punches him for good measureSince when did you become the one and only! punches him

Naruto - rubs face Well the book is named after me so that means I'm the STAR!

Sasuke - Shut up you moron!

Kakashi - not paying attention at all; too busy reading Ichia Ichia Paradaisu

Leo - WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?!

Kakashi - looks up then goes back to reading

Saxyguy – Gods, chill Leo! You don't need to rip their heads off…

Leo - Yes I do!

Saxyguy - No you don't!

Leo - Yes I do!

Sasuke – growls Shut up and give them the disclaimer and move on so they can read the damn story.

Leo - Oh fine! We don't own anything from Naruto! We do however own Jade and Raid the twins! Happy now?

Saxyguy - Cause if we did own anything, the story would have been different…much different. I'm just a poor boy. I need no sympathy…

Sasuke - Oh shut up! And yes I'm happy now!

Ronin - pops up out of nowhere and clears throat

Saxyguy – Oh, right…and props to our beta for having to put up with a world full of plot holes, spelling errors and grammatical mistakes

Ronin – Thanks takes a bow before poofing away

Everyone - Enjoy the fic!

"From this day forward you are no longer mere students of Ninjutsu, but full-fledged Shinobi," Iruka stated, finally getting the class' attention. "But, among the ranks of the Shinobi, you are mere novices, lowest of the low. Your greatest challenges all lie ahead." The older ninja shifted his hands behind him, looking from each of the blank faces before him. "The next step is the assignment of official duties to you all on behalf of our village. We will begin by dividing you into three man cells. Each of which will be mentored by a Jounin, a more senior ninja…who will guide and coach you as you become familiar with your various assignments," he said, making sure his students would understand what was to come.

'Three man cells? Sounds like two too many…' Sasuke thought, loathing the possibility of being paired with someone.

'It's perfect! I know they'll team me up with Sasuke' thought Sakura, pumped with anticipation.

'So long as I'm partnered with Sakura…I'll take anybody else…except Sasuke!' thought Naruto, bored with the class.

"I've made the selections so that each cell's abilities would be about equal." The class cried out as they suddenly grew nervous about who they'd be paired up with. Then Iruka's voice faded from the children's ears as he rambled on about who was in each cell for several minutes. "Next, cell number seven. Haruno Sakura…Uzumaki Naruto…"

"YATTA!" Naruto shouted.

"Rats!" Sakura mumbled as she slumped in her seat.

"…And…Uchiha Sasuke!" Iruka finished.

"YATTA!" Sakura exclaimed as she jumped to her feet in jubilation.

"Bummer…" Naruto groaned as he slumped down in disappointment. He then turned angry eyes to his teacher. "Iruka sempai! What were you thinking, saddling a most excellent shinobi like myself…with THAT teme?!" he exclaimed.

The oldest in the room put his hands on his hips. "Of the twenty-seven of you, Sasuke has the best grades, Naruto. You would be the bottom of the class. The idea is to balance your different strengths…That's why you ended up together."

Sasuke scoffed. "Just don't drag me down…dobe." The blond bristled at the name.

"What'd you call me?!" he exclaimed, wanting to do the other physical harm.

"Just knock it off, Naruto!" the kunoichi countered, trying to fend the boy off by beating him senseless.

Iruka sighed. 'Aww…they'll work it out. Even Naruto,' he thought before putting a smile on his face "Ok, everyone. I'll be introducing your senior Ninjutsu instructors this afternoon. Until then, you're dismissed."

((A/N: Leo- I'll be quick. I just wanna say that in case you haven't noticed, we are mainly following the manga for now. No worries though. It'll change later…))

Elsewhere

"Ah. Kakashi-san. I have a mission for you," the third Hokage stated as he and Kakashi slipped into a small room.

"This is Naruto-san's house, isn't it?" Kakashi asked, picking up a carton from the table. 'His milk has expired'

"He's clumsy, but you're the best choice to watch him. You have a talent for sniffing things out!" the old man said, his ever present pipe still in place at his mouth. "What's more, another member of the cell you shall oversee will be Sasuke of the Uchiha clan. Best of luck!"

'This could be a terrible mission, but…' "I'll do my best, Hokage-sama"

"Oh yes and there is one more thing…"

"And that is?" the Jounin asked, arching his visible brow.

"Well, you are one of our best teachers, so we decided that that you would be the best man for the job. We have a special case with a set of twins…" The village leader was met with silence.

Back to the classroom

"Hmm……." Naruto sighed looking out the door.

"Cut it out Naruto-baka!" Sakura grumbled

"Why are we the only cell…whose teacher hasn't shown up YET?" Naruto yelled, looking back into the classroom. "All the other teams have already gone off with their teachers. Even Iruka-sempai has gone!" Naruto muttered before going back to his normal shenanigans.

Sakura blinked and then yelled, "Hey! What are you up to, Naruto-baka!"

Naruto just laughed as he climbed atop a stool, putting a chalk-board eraser in between the sliding doors so it would fall on someone when they entered. "It's what he gets for making us wait!" he laughed, jumping to the floor.

"Grow up!" Sakura sighed. "I want no part of it!" On the inside, though, she was thinking 'Stuff like this is the BEST!'

"Hmmf! No way could a superior Shinobi be caught in such a simple booby trap!" Sasuke said as someone began to open the door.

The eraser crashed down, hitting the "superior Shinobi" on the head and making a nice 'Plaf" sound.

Naruto laughed loudly…as per normal… "Gotcha! Good one!"

"I'm sorry sensei! I tried to stop him but Naruto…" Sakura mumbled, looking innocent while really thinking 'Set him up and knock him down! That was awesome!'

Meanwhile Sasuke sat by himself at his seat, silently contemplating the worth of the leader they had been assigned.

Kakashi, now laughing, put his hand on his chin and looked to the students. "Hmm…How shall I put this? Based on my first impression, I'd have to say…I HATE you!"

For once, none of them had a thing to say, but they all looked like they were all thinking the same thing - 'Uh-oh!'

Later

"Now, I'd like you all to tell us a little about yourselves," Kakashi stated.

"Like what?"

"You know. The usual. Your favorite thing…What you hate most…Dreams, ambitions, hobbies. Things like that," Kakashi said indifferently while shrugging his shoulders.

"Help us out here, coach. You go first. Show us how it's done," Naruto said.

"That's right…after all, you're a complete stranger to us…A mystery." Sakura quickly agreed.

"Oh…me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm the kind of person who doesn't feel like talking about his likes and dislikes!" he started. "My dreams for the future are none of your business…But anyway, I have a lot of hobbies…"

"Hey…he said a lot…but all we really learned was his name," the girl of the group grumbled with a deadpan look on her face.

"Now, it's your turn. Starting with you on the right."

"Me, right? My name is Uzumaki Naruto! What I like is instant cup ramen! What I like even better is when Iruka-sempai treats to ramen at the Ichiraku noodle bar! What I hate is the three minute wait after I pour in the boiling water. My dream is to one day…" Naruto rambled on

'He seems to have nothing more on his mind than ramen…' Kakashi thought.

"…be a better Shinobi than Lord Hokage-sama!" he exclaimed, adjusting his new Hitai-ate on his forehead. "And then all the villagers will have to acknowledge my existence at last!"

Kakashi looked a little shocked at first but then he went back to his look of boredom thinking 'Well, hasn't he turned out interesting…'

"My hobbies are…pranks and practical jokes, I guess." Naruto continued, not that anyone was listening…

'I see' Kakashi thought while scratching his head "Next."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are plenty of things I hate, but I don't see that it matters, considering there is almost nothing I do like," the "emo-prince" started. "It seems pointless to talk about 'dreams'…That's just a word…but what I do have is determination. I plan to restore my clan. And there's someone I have sworn to…to kill." he finished, not moving his glare from the older man the whole time. Needless to say, the other two members of the squad were shocked…

Expression not changing Sakura thought 'He is so cool! ♥'

'Sure hope it's not me…' Naruto thought with a scared sort of look on his face.

Kakashi just stared at Sasuke thinking '…I suspected as much…' "And finally…the young lady…"

"I am Haruno Sakura. My favorite thing is… well it's not a thing, it's a person. A boy…and that boy is…" She paused, thinking better of it. "Uh lets move on to my dream…" Sakura said while blushing furiously. "I hate Naruto," she said with a scowl, the blond in question looking rather crushed. "My hobbies are…"

'It sounds as though young girls…are more interested in love than Ninjutsu…' he thought before interrupting. "That's enough. I believe we all understand one other. Formal training begins tomorrow."

The blond snapped to attention. "Hai! Our first shinobi mission! What will our duties be?" he asked excitedly.

"Our first project involves only the members of this cell." Kakashi began.

"Well what is it?" Naruto asked impatiently.

"Survival exercises," Kakashi finished.

"Survival exercises?" Naruto echoed.

"But why would that be a mission?" the girl asked. "Our school days were full of survival training!"

"But you'll have to survive against me. It won't be your typical practice." Kakashi stated, earning confused glances.

"Well, then, what kind of practice will it be?" the fox asked. His only reply was a snort of laughter from the Jounin.

"What are you laughing about, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura pushed, annoyed that the relevant question was being ignored.

"Oh nothing. It's just that…If I told you you'd chicken out."

"Chicken out?" Naruto asked as he cocked his head in confusion. "Why?"

"Of the twenty seven members of your graduating class, only nine will be accepted as junior-level shinobi. The other eighteen must go back for more training," he answered with an evil gleam in his visible eye. "The test we are about to perform has a sixty-six percent rate of failure."

Naruto and Sakura promptly began to freak out as Sasuke's glare got even harder.

"See? You're chickening out already!" he taunted.

Naruto sizzled in anger. "That sucks!" he exploded "We have been through hell! What about our graduation test?!"

"Oh! We wanted to eliminate all the hopeless causes from your ranks. The ones who are left are the only students who show true potential."

"Say what?!"

"In any event, we'll meet tomorrow morning on the practice field so that I can evaluate each of your skills and weaknesses," the Jounin continued. "Bring all of your ninja tools and weapons…And don't have breakfast beforehand…unless you enjoy throwing up."

The shortest of the genin shivered in anticipation. 'No way will I let this set me back,' he thought. 'I'll kick Kakashi-sensei's ass! Then I'll get some respect! Yeah!'

"The details of your assignment are in this handout. Memorize it…and don't be late! Oh and your other two teammates will be joining us." He handed them a some paper. 'Now to find my other two students…' Kakashi thought as he preformed the hand seals and 'poof-ed' away to the Hokage's office.

"I take it you want to know where to find them?" the old man asked as soon as the silver haired jounin appeared in his office. Kakashi only nodded. "Well don't bother. You won't find them. Trust me, I've tried before and it's impossible. They don't have a permanent home and they refuse to stay in the orphanage. They were already told where to be in the morning." Kakashi nodded again and disappeared.

Saxyguy- That's it for the first chapter. Review or we won't continue to post it!

Leo- Any kind of review is welcome…even flames as long as they have some sort of a point. If you're just flaming us for the fun of it, I'll hunt you down and GUT YOU LIKE A TROUT! Hope you liked the story. The twins show up in the next chapter! insert magical trumpet sounds here

Saxyguy- shudders Freaking scary, bi-polar, weirdo…

Leo- sweetly …oh brother dearest!

Saxyguy- Head for the hills! See you in the next chapter! Later!

Leo- Bye! chases after Saxyguy with a chainsaw

Sasuke- REVIEW!

Ronin - walks in, blinks twice at the empty room then leaves before yelling back And you're welcome for making it read-able!