At the End of all Things

by paperfox

A/N: Written for Animeficathon LJ community in response to a prompt from christarp, who wanted Kurogane, Fai, romance and didn't want SyaoranxSakura.

January

Winter was late this year, and Kurogane watched the first snow of the season from his bed, arms crossed for warmth, the mug of tea forgotten. From another part of the house, he heard a door open and close, and light footsteps treading down the hall.

"I'm home!" Fai called, and there was a rustle of a coat being removed and heavy boots getting kicked off. "I brought eggs and some of the salted vegetables you wanted but not very much because Tanaka-san says the harvests were bad last year and there's not enough…"

Even after these years, Fai's Japanese still had a strange accent, barely noticeable at times, but increasingly apparent if he spoke quickly.

Fai moved into the room and without preamble, slipped under the blanket and wiggled next to Kurogane.

"You're warm," he said by way of explanation, and proceeded to worm his feet under Kurogane's loose pants.

"And you're cold," Kurogane said dryly. "Stop that." But Kurogane didn't move and Fai just smiled.

"I met Tsukishiro-kun today," Fai continued. He pressed his face against Kurogane's shoulder. "He wants to start his lessons again."

"So start your lessons again." Kurogane hand had found its way into Fai's hair, and he ran his fingers through the blond locks absently.

"I suppose I should post the flyers then," Fai nudged him. "You should join my class."

"I was the one who taught you how to hold the damn brush."

"But Kuro-pii still draws like a kid! Ne, join and I will teach you how to really draw, no more ninja scribbles," Fai poked Kurogane's chest. "And then you have to call me Fai-sensei!"

"Ninjas don't scribble," Kurogane snapped, tugging at Fai's hair lightly. "Idiot."

"I know a ninja who does," Fai said. Then he leaned up and pressed a wet, loud kiss to Kurogane's mouth before he could retaliate and hopped out of bed. "I'm going to make dinner! It's my turn to pick what to eat."

He's grin was devilish as he shut the door behind him.

x

February

On Valay-something-or-other Day, Fai invariably made heart-shaped chocolates every year. Kurogane had a feeling that they weren't really supposed to be shaped like actual hearts—digging knives into carefully sculpted, accurately detailed vessels and tissue was decidedly creepy—but he didn't want to speak to the witch and so never asked.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, Fai didn't manage to find chocolate this year, and he substituted with a chunk of meat, which Fai preferred to roast in large chunks, browning the outside but leaving the inside halfway raw.

"Eat up, Kuro-tan. You need your iron," Fai told him and sliced into his piece.

Kurogane eyed his dish distrustfully. Raw fish he could take, but he didn't trust any beef that bled. "Eating this is worse than getting my blood sucked out."

Fai made a face. "But I thought you liked getting your blood sucked out."

"No one likes getting their blood sucked out!" Kurogane snapped. Then he paused. "But, it's not… that bad."

Fai beamed at him. "Then eat. I'm getting hungry again, so you need to finish that."

Kurogane sighed.

x

March

"They're starting to talk," Fai whispered.

It was dark but Kurogane could still see the outline of Fai's face and the mismatched eyes—one blue and one milky white—watching him. He reached forward drew Fai closer until he could wrap an arm around his back.

"About you?" he asked finally.

"Un," Fai said simply.

Kurogane cupped his cheek and traced the edge of his paler eye softly. Fai's face was still smooth, still young. Time hadn't touched him and since the journey for that princess's feathers, he hadn't aged a day. Every decade or so, they had to leave a town, or Fai's unchanging face would attract suspicion.

"But moving is such a hassle this time of year," Fai's smile was a little sad and a little wistful. "And I haven't finished teaching the children how to draw birds."

"So we won't move," Kurogane said, and he leaned forward to press kisses to Fai's hair, brow, cheek, and mouth and Fai arched up to wrap long arms around Kurogane's neck.

Later, as they laid side by side, breathing hard with the sweat cooling between them, Kurogane found Fai's hand under the covers and laced their fingers together.

x

April

Wet, cold mornings were hell on old wounds, and Kurogane especially hated getting up. When he was younger, he'd never considered what all those battles would do to him a couple of decades down the line.

If Fai noticed, he never said anything. And Kurogane didn't complain when breakfast started being brought to his bed.

He left the house in the afternoon when Fai took over the living room to give art lessons for the neighboring children. He took a walk around the small town, and looked in the direction of the palace, though their village was too far away for him to see much more than the curved points on the rooftop.

He wondered what the new priestess was like, and then realized he didn't really care. He had left after Tomoyo-hime died, and that was long ago. Her death wasn't anybody's fault; priestesses simply lived short lives because of the demand on their power, and compared to her predecessors, her life had been long. After her, Kurogane found no more reason to stay.

It was strange, to know he had outlived her. He had never expected to. Dying naturally wasn't part of the job description of being a ninja. He'd never dreamed he'd live so long, but circumstances had made him reluctant to die.

"Eh, is he—?" a woman behind him murmured.

"Hush, not so loud!" another said sharply.

Kurogane wondered if he should look at them just to terrify them, and then figured it wasn't worth the bother. He kept on walking.

"Are they—?"

"Yes, hush."

"But he looks like he could be Fai-sensei's father."

x

May

It amused him that people could think of Fai as his son, because really, if anyone thought they looked anything alike, they must be blind. But nevertheless, Kurogane knew he was getting older. He could feel it.

They had no mirrors in the house because Fai had no reflection and Kurogane didn't care about his. But now, he glanced at his aged and worn hands and wondered just how old he really looked.

"Are you going through a mid-life crisis?" Fai poked his cheek, and nudged him until he made room for him on the bench.

"They think I'm old enough to father you," Kurogane grunted, disgusted.

Fai eyed him mischievously. "Are you sure I'm not old enough to father you? The magicians in Celes might have had longer life-spans. Maybe I'm really twice your age when I already met you, you'd never know."

Kurogane gave him a long look. "You never did tell me how old you are."

Fai laughed. "I'm not telling either." Then he scooted over until their legs were touching from hip to knee, and reached up to tuck a loose lock of hair behind Kurogane's ear. "You know, I like the gray. It gives you character and it makes you look wiser… just a bit."

x

June

There were heat flashes lacing through his chest, flaring every time he breathed, and spots behind his eyes that changed color. He supposed that thing he was looking at was the ceiling, but the color was all wrong.

"Kurogane…"

Oh no, he thought, and wondered what he did that was so terrible that it made Fai call him by his real name.

"Hold him still," said another, unfamiliar voice.

"His eyes are open," Fai said.

Kurogane wanted to tell him, 'Idiot, of course they are' but when he opened his mouth to speak, he found that nothing would come out.

"He's delirious. There was poison on that sword—"

Sword? Oh. Right, sword. There was a fight. A boy he'd never met, seeking revenge for a person whose name he didn't recognize and probably never bothered to learn. He felt bad, and honestly hadn't wanted to kill him, but Fai was going to be home soon and then his students were going to come and there was nothing else to do. The boy wasn't that skilled and he shouldn't have been so injured. Shit. He wasn't young anymore.

"Press here," the unfamiliar voice, a doctor probably, instructed.

"Wait, don't stitch the wound. You need to draw out the poison first," Fai said sharply, and Kurogane couldn't remember hearing Fai so frustrated.

"I can't do anything about that."

There was a sudden rustle as and the hands holding him down disappeared. When Fai spoke again, his voice was low and ice cold.

"Get out. Now."

There was a pause, and then a door slammed. Kurogane heard Fai breathe heavily for a moment, before kneeling down beside him and touching his chest lightly. A gentle warmth spread from Fai's hand, chasing away the fire that laced his breathing and drew him under a peaceful sleep.

x

July

"The wound is healing well," the doctor said, another doctor, presumably. He paused to give him a sidelong glance of suspicion, as if the only reason a graying old man could have a companion who looked more than half is age was through some shady sorcery. Then Kurogane realized, he did.

"There was poison on the sword as well," Fai added from the side. "I… It could not be removed completely."

The doctor frowned. "I can do nothing about that."

Fai's eyes narrowed but Kurogane interrupted before he could speak. "How long?"

"Judging by the dosage, I'm surprised you didn't die on the spot," the doctor mused. He paused, and then shook his head. "But at this point, I'm guessing, maybe until the end of this month at the most."

The silence between them lingered long after he left. Fai stood by the door, a pale and drawn shadow in the middle of the room.

"Talk to the witch," Kurogane said finally. "Let's find a way to free you."

"No," Fai said, and refused to face him.

"You're going to die," Kurogane said through gritted teeth. "Don't you realize this?"

"You're going to die," Fai's voice was thin. "Don't you realize this?"

Kurogane's breath escaped in a hiss of irritation. For a moment, he was too angry to speak.

"I'm sorry," Fai continued, softly. "I couldn't save you. I couldn't save you like you saved me. I couldn't save anyone."

The anger escaped him and left him drained and tired. Kurogane turned away to face the window.

"Don't be," Kurogane told him. "I killed a lot of people. I'm surprised it took this long for it to catch up to me."

Fai's shoulders hitched with a gasp that sounded like a sob, but when he turned to face him, his eyes was dry. He had never seen Fai cry, despite his assertion that crying wasn't weakness, but Fai rarely followed his own advice. Kurogane wondered if Fai was like him, that somewhere along his life, he had forgotten how to cry.

"I killed a lot of people too. Why is it that you can save me, but I can't save you?" Fai asked.

Kurogane didn't reply, just reached forward until Fai moved towards him and they fell back against the bed and Fai fisted Kurogane's shirt in his hands and trembled.

x

August

Night and day blurred together, and the only constant was the still and silent figure at his bedside. There were moments of clarity in between those fever dreams, and he fought for those moments. The end was approaching. He could feel it in his bones. But he didn't want to die, couldn't die, because dying meant Fai was going to die as well, and he did not want to drag him along.

He opened his eyes one day and realized for the first time in days, the room was clear and free from shadows and he turned to find Fai sitting beside him, quietly waiting.

"Hey," he said, and his voice was dry and hoarse.

Fai's mouth stretched into a slow smile. "Hey back." He sounded wispy.

Kurogane frowned as he looked at him, and realized he'd never seen Fai look so frail. His cheeks were ghostly and hollow and his eyes were outlined in dark shadows. There was a tremor that shook his shoulders every once in a while. He wondered if he looked as terrible as Fai did, and decided it wasn't possible.

Kurogane tried to remember the last time he fed and realized he couldn't remember. But judging by the paleness of his face, Fai hadn't taken any blood since Kurogane had been hurt, and probably wouldn't as long as he was ill.

Kurogane shifted, his limbs heavy and sluggish, but managed to lift a corner of the blanket. Fai slipped into the bed beside him.

"You're cold," Kurogane observed, when Fai moved to lean against him.

Fai smiled and wormed his feet against Kurogane's legs. "You're warm."

Kurogane wrapped an arm around Fai's shoulders and tried to spread some heat into the chilly body, but the cold seemed to emanate from Fai's skin. Kurogane tugged his sleeve loose and pressed his wrist against Fai's mouth.

"Drink," Kurogane ordered him.

Fai flinched back, "No."

"Poisons don't affect you, so it shouldn't matter whether I'm sick or not," Kurogane grabbed Fai's arm and pulled him closer. The strength of his grip surprised them both. "Drink now. This should last you another month."

"It won't matter, Kuro-tan," he said, pushing Kurogane's hand down and interlacing their fingers.

"I don't want to drag you with me," Kurogane said. "This is my battle, my responsibility. It shouldn't affect you."

Fai didn't speak, but just laid beside him and watched him with quiet resignation on his face.

"But you took my battles and fought them too," Fai whispered finally. He shifted and pressed his head against Kurogane's shoulder with a sigh. "Don't be so greedy, Kuro-pii. Leave some for me."

Kurogane gritted his teeth, "Stop trying to change the subject."

Fai smiled at him, "But there wasn't anything to discuss."

Kurogane frowned as he traced his fingers down the side of Fai's still young face, and thought his eyes looked old. Fai took his hand as it traced over his mouth and kissed the back of his knuckles lightly. His breath was ice cold against Kurogane's hand.

"My choice this time, not yours," Fai told him.

And by listening to his tone, Kurogane knew nothing would sway him. Fai wasn't often stubborn, but the times he were, he could outlast anyone.

He was going to die. They both were. There was no more cheating death this time, but at least they were going together. Kurogane drew Fai close, feeling the body against him draw soft quiet breaths, and closed his eyes.

END

I honestly, honestly, honestly intended to write a humor story. Then I sat down, and what first came out really was somewhat light-hearted. And then about 3 hours later, this was the final product. I don't know what happened in between. I think my new goal should be 'to get someone to cry within 3000 words.' Or actually, 'get myself to cry within 2000 words.' I was wailing through the end of it. Gah, I'm a wuss and an angst whore. Those qualities really should be mutually exclusive.