So unfortunately, the stupid ruler option STILL doesn't work, for some crazy, unknown reason. It's really starting to annoy me. Anyway, when I wrote this... I wish I had an excuse to blame this on, but truth be told, I don't. Just so you know, this is Sasuke's thoughts. It's supposed to be after the Valley of the End. No spoilers, really, just my mindless drabble. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Sasuke would not have been a poo-head if I owned him!
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Dream.
Blood. Blood. Blood.
No matter how much I wash myself; no matter how hard I scrub. I'm still tainted. I'm still covered in it.
Blood. His blood. My blood. Our blood. Mixed together.
Hating, hurting, cursing, loving, caring, destroying, renewing...
Our blood. Mixed.
He is always with me, because his blood will not wash off my hands. His sweat will not disappear from my skin. His voice echoes in my head, his heart pounds against my chest.
His eyes are burned into my mind. His hair's touch is scarred into my hands.
He is always there. Always with me. His blood. His sweat. His being. He is with me.
I hurt him, and he hurt me. We hurt each other.
It hurts to know that I hurt him. It hurts to know that he hurt me.
Why? Why?
The blood.
Blood. Blood. Blood.
Did I kill him? I still don't know. So much blood. There was so much blood.
I stood over him, he didn't move. He was hurt. His blood on my hand.
The rain washed his blood away, but I can still feel it. Can't see it, but it's there. His blood. My blood. Our blood.
I wash my hands so many times a day. I try to wash his blood off, but it doesn't leave.
I scrub myself until I bleed, I try to wash his sweat off, but it never leaves.
I want to gouge out my eyes so that I never have to see him again, but even when I close my eyes, he's there.
Dying. Living. Hurting. Happy. Hating. Loving. Scared. Fearless.
Perfect.
I hate him—but only because I love him so much.
I hurt him. I left him. I betrayed him. I abandoned him. I killed him.
I was selfish. I didn't care about him the way I should have.
And now...
Now...
I've lost him.
He's gone.
Gone. Gone. Gone.
Forever.
Never to be mine again.
Because he hates me.
I betrayed him. I hurt him. He hates me, and can never be mine. Not like before. Not like it was. Not like we were.
He can't trust me.
He came to save me; I hurt him again. I want to hurt him. I want to hurt him as much as thinking about him hurts me.
He has control, he just doesn't know.
I don't want to hurt him. I don't like hurting him.
I love him.
Why—do I make him suffer? Why don't I care that I hurt him?
Why can't I disappear?
Why can't I forget about him?
Why can't I just—be with him?
Wake me up from this nightmare.
Please...
Let me dream...
END.