A/N:
Hey! Don't give me that look.
I couldn't resist! I love Haru, too, ya know.
Anyway, this one's for Angel-san.
Because… she's the bestest in the world.
j00 b3t4 b3l1v3 1t!1!1!eleven!11!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except this computer. (hugs)
Warnings: OOC. Language. Sexual References. You name it; we've got it right here.
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Kisa sung me a song today.
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It went something like this.
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"HARU, YOU ARE A SEXY, SEXY COW. PLEASE MARRY ME SO WE CAN HAVE ELEVEN FINGERED CHILDREN WITH YELLOW, BLACK AND WHITE HAIR AND ODD COLOURED EYES."
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I made it my ringtone.
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Hiro dislikes me now.
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"Fuck j00, Haru! j00 st0le m4h gr1fr1eNd!eleven!11!1"
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So, I went to school.
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Unaware of the TRAVESTY about to unfold.
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"Yo, what up mah home cow?"
"Yuki, yo aint no gangsta like me!"
"(SAD)"
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But after Yuki, everyone was trying to be gangsta.
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"FOR THE MEN OF ISENGARD!"
"Kyo, you aint no gangsta!"
"…I wasn't trying to be a gangsta,"
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What's an Isengard anyway?
Is that like, that protective thing you wear in your lower regions to protect yourself against footballs and soccer balls?
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"Gasp."
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That's what I thought.
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I learnt something today.
From Akito.
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"Haru, my boy, I have some bad news,"
"Yes?"
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Then, I was told news that would scar me for the rest of my life.
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"I accidentally sent you back in time when you were first born and made you your own grandfather."
"…WTF"
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Hatori told me that Akito had been watching too much Futurama and that I should ignore Akito from now on.
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"Yeah! Well, it's Haru's fault I watch too much Futurama! He bought me the damn box set for God's Day!"
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What a poor, confuzzled woman.
Sexy, but confuzzled.
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"Off with yer pants!"
"Shutup Hiro! Ren is the only pirate here!"
"No I'm not, I decided to share with Hiro,"
"WOULD YA GO AWAY, RENNIE GIRL?" (Insert Scotsman accent)
"You're not a Scotsman, Haru. You're not a Scotsman!"
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I'll teach her whom is a Scotsman and whom is not!
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"Kyo, am I a Scotsman?"
"…Haru, get stuffed."
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"Yuki, am I a Scotsman?"
"You aren't wearing a skirt… so no,"
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I bet that filthy, cow riding Rat wants to see me in a skirt.
Just as much as I want to see him in one...
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"Momiji, am I a Scotsman?"
"Not that I know of!"
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"Ren, am I a Scotsman?"
"…"
"Oh crap, back where I started,"
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Hatori-sensei tried to give me tablets the other day.
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He said I need them to control black.
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"Black will go white if you don't feed him full of this here dope, yo dawg, diggin' it."
"Hatori. You suck,"
"…(uber mad/sad)"
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Have YOU made Hatori-sensei made today?
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Did. Not. Think. So.
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Oh no.
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Old McAkito is a cummin!
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Hide the whiskey!
Hide it, damn yer!
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She/He wants to do some cow tippin'!
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Nooo!
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(coughs up lung)
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I really should cut back on those drugs and cigarettes.
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A/N:
Booyah!
(does super happy special joyous dance)
What do yer think?
Off with Haru's pants?
Off with Ren's shirt?
OFF WITH HATORI-SENSEI AND HIS EMOTIONS?