The Path of Kyane

Chapter I: Enlightenment

(Hello... I apologise profusely from not having written for an incredibly long while. Not only has real life been awfully busy, but I have lost touch a bit with Starlight and I'd like to begin Adhara's Fate again sometime.

I hadn't planned to write this, but I saw a Spuffy video on I know, I know... But the thing is, it reawakened my urge to write Buffy fanfiction again, so it can't be a bad thing, can it?

The Path of Kyane is the product of watching those heartbreaking videos. I'm not sure whether I should continue it, because it stands quite well as a one-shot. So I would love your opinion on whether I should continue this or not. If I did continue this, I probably wouldn't be able to update more than once a week. However, I can promise you that I would be just as dedicated to it as I was to the first Starlight, Sheratan's Call... which I'm still proud of finishing. :).

Ah... I should stop babbling. Please enjoy this piece. It's set somewhere near the end of Season 6, but I've played with the timeline quite a lot. You should be able to figure out the rest from reading this. Thank you.)

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"You're a real piece of work, you know."

The concrete cracked under her feet as Buffy swung around. The air was cold tonight. It cut through her skin and made her eyes water, but even that paled in comparison to what she felt when she saw just who it was addressing her.

Buffy's lips tightened into stone. "Oh great. So not only do I have to deal with Evil Willow tomorrow… but now I have to have you in my dreams. Wonderful."

Faith snorted, and swung off the sarcophagus she'd been sitting on. "It's not any better for me… believe it. I would have told those Powers-That-Be people to piss off and leave me alone if your dear Angel hadn't convinced me."

A brief smile managed to flash itself across her face. Cold, sardonic. Buffy knew that smile, and felt a twinge of something in her heart. How strange. She was feeling. Buffy stared at her, hand still clasped firmly around the knife that had materialised in her hands. She didn't question its existence, just like she didn't question the crypt around her. It was a dream. Pure, and real and tangible… with all of the paradoxical irony attached to that. Looking down, she saw it was still covered with Faith's blood.

"You're… actually… Faith? Not dream-Faith?" she asked in a strange mix wonder.

"Oh, so you've been having other dreams of me, have you B?" the dark Slayer snickered, and kicked up a tuft of grass. Buffy hadn't even noticed their surroundings shift to one of the many graveyards in Sunnydale… but now she swallowed. The moonlight made the blood on the knife glint freshly. "If I wasn't so sure that you hate my guts, I'd be thinking you were hot for me."

"Get over yourself," Buffy rolled her eyes, before turning and walking away. "I don't have time to waste on you… not a dream-you, and most definitely not a real you."

Faith's laugh was bitter as it followed her, and the blonde Slayer tried to ignore it. "Oh yeah, that's the stuff, B. It's all five-by-five when you can walk away, isn't it? That's what you're always doing. Walking away… running away. Too bad you can't run away from yourself."

As abruptly as Buffy had turned, she was back, grabbing Faith by the throat. "As if you can talk, you…"

Undeterred, the dark-haired Slayer lashed out a foot, catching Buffy in the gut. The blonde-haired Slayer stumbled back, and Faith flipped herself up onto a two meter stone column that had materialised out of nothingness. Wheezing, Buffy looked up, and was somehow reminded of a time when Spike had sat like that, his duster flowing over the stone.

She shook her head violently and leapt to her feet.

"That's rich," she spat, feeling the old anger course through her shrivelled veins like fire. "Coming from you, and your whole 'do-my-boyfriend-like-a-skanky-ho-routine-and-then-run-to-Angel' routine."

If Faith had realised the implications behind those words, she didn't bat an eyelid. "We're not talking about me," Faith sneered down at her. "We never are… the fucking Powers certainly didn't send me here for that. No… as always, it's all about little Miss. Buffy, isn't it?"

Her hold on the knife tightened "What the hell are you talking about?" Buffy demanded.

Faith leapt to her feet, lithely, and began stalking across the cemetery gate, always at least a meter above Buffy's head. The blonde scowled as she had to crane her neck to keep her in view. Stupid dreams. "You know what I'm talking about, B. You were thinking about him just before. Peroxided, big snazzy-looking leather coat, cheekbones to die for… ringing a bell?"

Buffy scowled, and tightened her grip on the knife. "I could run you through with this just as easily as I did three years ago, you know."

Faith snorted. What had she expected, really? "You could try, you mean. And stop avoiding the subject."

"Look…" Buffy sighed exasperatedly, suddenly feeling beyond tired. This was the first sleep she'd had for so long… and now this. "Why now? I don't need to think about him right now. I need to concentrate on stopping one of my best friends from ending the world tomorrow. Why do those stupid Powers have to send you now?"

She could feel it in the air when it changed. The cold, biting wind stopped, and there was a stillness that wrapped both of the Slayers in its embrace. "Because time's running out, B," Faith's voice was suddenly serious. "Time's just slipping through both of us. Proverbial sand, you know."

The air morphed again, this time weighing her down with its soporific heat. They were no longer in the cemetery, they were in the desert; and the heat waves made the sand ripple like the sea. "Willow won't end the world. But you… you just might."

Bent under the dryness of the place, Buffy's head snapped up as Faith's last words hit her, and the Slayer gaped. "What do you mean?"

"Think about him, B," Faith prowled through the sand. The fine grains trickled against her skin, and she felt strong as she faced her sister slayer. "You entrusted your Mother to him. You entrusted Dawn to him. You entrusted yourself to him."

"I didn't," Buffy said angrily, running to catch up amongst the slipping dunes. The desert rolled past her unceasingly, but it felt as if she'd stopped moving as the dark-haired Slayer grew smaller and smaller in the distance "I never did. I always remembered he was a soulless, evil demon."

Faith carried on as if she hadn't heard her. Even though she was just a speck on the horizon, Buffy could hear her voice as if she were right next to her. "Yeah… your Mum and Dawn because he could protect them. A part of you because he could protect you too, and you know that. Come on, B. He's the only man who'll ever put up with all the shit you give him and still love you. He scores points."

Everything just… culminated in her in a rush of pure emotion. Her body couldn't take it. She couldn't take it, after all this time. Buffy slammed the knife down into the sand at her feet in frustration. "Please," she said hoarsely. "Can we not talk about this? What about this apocalypse you're saying I might cause?"

"One and the same," Faith replied enigmatically, ignoring the fact that the blonde Slayer was now on her knees, shaking. "You've entrusted all of this to him… and then you destroyed him."

Buffy closed her eyes and felt the brittleness inside her being stretched. "I don't know what you mean."

Suddenly, Faith was right in front of her, her dark eyes leaping to meet her own. Buffy stumbled backwards, her first instinct to flee. Faith kept a strong grip on her wrist and pulled her back.

"Yes you do," she insisted in a low, urgent voice. "You do. Come on, B. Don't fail us now."

"Us?" Buffy swallowed, focusing on the only safe word she could find.

"Haven't you been listening?" Faith shook her shoulders, and Buffy felt stars. "The Powers sent me for a reason… to kick your ass into gear! You don't have to worry about Willow, I promise. Someone else will take care of that. What you do have to worry about is something bigger."

Buffy wrenched the other Slayer's wrist off her as she felt her teeth beginning to rattle. The sand stilled under her feet as she fell and stumbled upright again to face her. "Then tell me about what more I have to worry about, instead of just talking to me about Spike!"

Faith pressed a hand against her forehead then. "I don't know how he puts up with her," she muttered, her eyes cast up to the sky. Open-mouthed, Buffy was about to protest when she was ruthlessly shoved backwards until she was lying on the sand, and all she could see was sky.

Sky… stretching out… as blue…

As blue as his eyes…

From far away, she heard Faith's voice speaking to her, and she couldn't move. Could do nothing but look up into the endless sky and listen. Paralysed.

"I know this is gonna be tough for you, B." A harsh laugh bubbled out of the dark slayer's throat. "Being raped is not fun. I know. But he didn't rape you. He stopped. But more importantly, you can't take that as evidence of him being soulless and evil, can you?"

Buffy couldn't answer. She just felt the aching emptiness within her again, and tears started to well up in her eyes.

"World's not black and white, B. You should know that by now. They always called me the rogue Slayer, didn't they? I might not have been so high and mighty as you, saving the world so many times… but I'm out of jail, now. I got a chance. And with that chance, I realised again when I looked at you. I'm the better Slayer… I've always been the better Slayer, because I don't have to fight myself."

Buffy wanted to scream at her. Then why can I beat you so easily? Why haven't you ever saved the world? Why can't you do my job for me and leave me in peace?

It seemed like Faith had heard the words. "Oh, yeah. You can beat me because you've got love, you know. Corny, isn't it? When I was you… in your body… all I wanted was to be you. You've got Giles, you had your Mum, you had Dawn and your gang. You had Spike and Angel and Riley."

With those words, Buffy wanted to laugh. Sick laughter, that made her lungs feel poisoned.

"You know what I mean, B. But when it comes to living… I win hands down."

You call 'Want, Take, Have' living?

Faith heard her again. "That's kinda changed for me," Faith shrugged. "Oh, believe me, it still applies. Just… there are different situations. Like for instance, the time I killed that man."

Buffy wanted to be sick.

"Yeah, I did it, B. I shoved a stake in his heart, and he bled everywhere. He died in agony. Died in about fifteen seconds, too. Not that he was all white and shining… he worked for the Mayor. Right-hand man. But then… you're not all white and shining either."

Buffy stared up into the bright blue heavens… and longed.

"I mean, I killed a man. But it was quick. You're killing a man every day, and it's even more agony. Drawn out. Torturous."

Buffy moved to think, but Faith stopped her before the thought even materialised.

"No you don't, B," Faith spat, and there was real anger in her voice this time. "You can't lie there and tell me that he can't feel anything… the fucking Powers made me sit through your little soap opera before sending me here. You do things with real style, don't you? Beating the 'monster' to pieces in an alleyway. Sure, I do that to vamps at times. But not like that… never like that."

Buffy did cry now. How could she even begin to put into thoughts the guilt and horror at herself behind the denial? Spike had been so…

"Convenient, yeah… I heard about that as well," Faith shook her head. "You always seemed so disgusted at me, you know. When I told you about how I felt after Slaying… but it's the same for you. You just repressed it for so long that you're darker than I'll ever be, because you shine."

What are you, my stupid shrink?

"Your darker half, baby," Faith laughed, but it sounded sad. "I'll always be in your shadow. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. Because despite what I said earlier, you will always be the greatest Slayer that's ever lived."

Buffy wanted to shake her head, but all she could do was keep crying.

"You try," Faith's voice was full of naked longing. "You always try so hard that you win, and even when you lose you keep trying until everything's done. You keep seeing it as duty… but it's your life."

Buffy half-laughed/half-sobbed. Aren't we going off topic now?

"Perfectly on," Faith shrugged, and the vulnerability was gone. Buffy ached at the loss of it. "'If you don't listen… you're going to 'do your duty' and end the world."

Buffy felt a chill again. Faith had said it before, but each reminder was even worse than the previous.

"Spike is special," Faith said softly. "Haven't you realised that yet? Or are your damn blinkers still wrapped around your head twice? You're not shining white, but neither is he all black, yeah?"

Buffy wanted to burst into hysterical laughter, now. All these emotions… all of these words… the intensity it frightened her. It was no longer a dream… it was…

Clichéd.

Faith snorted. "Clichés are clichés for a reason. Come on, B… we live in a world fighting demons with big swords. Choke on that cliché for a while."

Buffy wanted to argue, but of course, she couldn't.

"Anyway, time's running out," Faith sighed, staring through the desert as if the landscape itself were some invisible clock. "Maybe next time I shouldn't keep going like that. But yeah. Deal's this, Buffy. You've got to find Spike. And stop him. After that, hopefully you'll know what to do. If you don't, I'm coming to you in person so I can slap you back to three years ago."

With that, Buffy felt the paralysation leave her, and she leapt to her feet, staring at the dark Slayer. "But… Willow…"

Her voice was scratchy from her crying. Being in denial in the dream world… when everything was bright and real and sharp in an agonisingly alive way was difficult. This was the way the world had been for her once, she realised. When she hadn't given up. When Spike had been wrong about her Death Wish…

"Interesting how much you think about him when you claim you don't love him," Faith said, amused. "And as I said before… Willow will be stopped. And tell Giles I said hey when you wake up next to his hospital bed."

Faith began to fade from her vision, but Buffy's cry stopped her. "Wait! Wait! Can't you tell me any more?"

"Can't spoonfeed you, B," Faith smirked. "I think you'd protest."

"But I don't love him," she whispered.

Faith raised her eyebrow.

"Not… yet…" Buffy forced out from her throat.

The dark slayer laughed, and in that second Buffy saw herself behind those fathomless eyes. "Hope for you yet, B."

Buffy swallowed. Feeling like this was… she began to cry again, and she couldn't stop. The desert was kind around her. She could feel the entire atmosphere around her was Slayer. The One Slayer… the First. Within and without, in each grain of sand and each drop of oasis, she could feel the essence of the Slayer. And the words, replying in her mind…

Love… live… forgive…

"Wait!"

Faith had begun to fade out again, and she snapped back to full technicolour, looking irritated. "What?"

Buffy threw the knife to her, and Faith caught it. Looking at the handle expressionlessly… remembering all of the memories associated with it, she slid her gaze from the bloodied blade down to the hilt… and gasped.

The hilt was no longer evil… black. It was onyx… striped with greys and whites and shadow. When she moved her gaze up to the blade again, it was shimmering silver.

Her eyes met Buffy's and now both had tears in them. Faith swallowed, and felt something she hadn't for a long time.

"It's five-by-five, B," she smiled hoarsely.

Faith faded completely this time, and Buffy watched as sand and shrub replaced her larger-than-life sister slayer. She stayed there for a while, luxuriating, knowing she would be thrust unceremoniously back into the real world soon, with all its pain and all its worry once more.

Just before it did, she stared once again at the space that Faith had vacated.

"Yeah… it's five-by-five, Faith."

She paused, and smiled.

"Whatever that means."

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She settled back into her body with a jolt. Giles was still lying on the hospital bed, his face pale but alive. Dawn was asleep on her lap. Buffy stretched her neck, ignoring the twinge resulting from her falling asleep on the hospital bedside table. Closing her eyes, she exhaled briefly.

When her eyes opened, they were a determined hazel fire.

She had a peroxided, blonde, pain-in-the-ass vampire to find.

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(So... should I continue this or not? Please tell me, and I really hope you enjoyed this. :) )