Common Pirates, a pirates of the caribbean fanfic

Disclaimer: Pulp owns the song. Disney owns Pirates of the Carribbean. The Bourgeoisie own the means of production. The proletariat own nothing but their own labour. Bring on the Communist revolution!

She was well-bred

Yet had a thing for pirates

She was almost killed by a too-tight corset

That's where I

Saved her life

She told me that her Dad was Gov'ner

I said "In that case I'll have rum three times over."

she said "Vile!"

and then in thirty seconds time she said

"I want to live like common pirates

I want to do whatever common pirates do

I want to sleep with common pirates

I want to sleep with common pirates like you."

Oh,what else could I do?

I said "I'll see what I can do."

I took her to Tortuga's taverns

I don't know why, but I had to lure her somewhere

so I lured her there

I said "Pretend you're not hygiene-y."

But she just laughed an said "Oh, you smell funny."

I said "Yeah?

Well I can't see anyone else bathing in here

Are you sure?

You want to live like common pirates

You want to steal whatever common pirates steal

You want to sleep with common pirates

You want to sleep with common pirates like me?"

But she didn't understand

She just smiled and held my hand

Get a post aboard a ship

Braid your hair and paint your lips

Drink some rum and get a sword

Forget you ever knew a Lord

But still you'll never get it right

Cos when you're below decks at night

Watching bilge-rats climb the wall

If you asked your Dad he would stop it all

Yeah

You'll never live like common pirates

You'll never do what common pirates do

You'll never betray like common pirates

You'll never watch your ship sail out of view

And then rape, pillage, and screw

Because there's nothing else to do

Sing along with the common pirates

Sing along and it might just get you through

Laugh along with the common pirates

Laugh along even though they're laughing at you

And the stupid things that you do

Cos you think buccaneers are cool

Like a dog lying in a corner

They'll betray and mutineer

Look out

They'll maroon you, no doubt

Cos everybody hates a tourist

Especially one who thinks it's

All such a laugh

Yeah and the blood stains and sweat will come out in a bath

You will never understand

How it feels to live your life

With no restrictions or rules

And to be nobody's fool

You are amazed that they exist

And they freely live whilst you merely watch them sail by