Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic or Shadow the Hedgehog, but imagine how much I'd make if I did.

It was his favorite. Of all the objects Shadow had commandeered in his quest, from pistols to convertibles, none had ever matched its perfection.

Shadow was something of a weapons aficionado. While fighting GUN, Dr. Eggman, and Black Doom he had stolen, used, and been on the receiving end of their weapons on many occasions. Not to mention he was a secret weapon himself.

He had 'borrowed' the Black Arms' satellite bombardment cannons, using them to rain destruction down on his enemies from orbit. Sure it was fun and made him feel wonderfully diabolical (sometimes coaxing a maniacal laugh from his throat) but he often obliterated his allies along with his foes. (Whoever they were at the time, it's so hard to keep track) And watching a colossal pillar of energy vaporize targets wasn't as much fun as being in the fray.

He had destroyed GUN walkers and relieved them of their rocket launchers. Dispatched soldiers and stolen their machine guns, bazookas, laser rifles and pistols. While such devices don't cause as widespread destruction as a cannon, they're still terribly... final. Shadow never liked killing (despite Black Doom's urgings) and guns just made it too easy. The graceful, pod-like guns the Black Arms soldiers were equipped with were even worse than earthly firearms. They were far more lethal and felt comfortable, almost natural in his hand. In this one instance he was compelled to agree with Sonic, guns didn't suit him at all.

He was more at ease with hand-to-hand combat, where cuts and bruises were the main concerns. Shadow had found the samurai sword and taken the black swords and lances from alien and robot alike. Even blue-flamed torches fell prey to his sticky fingers. These weapons made him feel slightly more honorable, but they were nothing when compared to his favorite.

So what if it was improvised? He worked best under pressure. So what if it was slightly rusted? The imperfections added to its charm. Shadow loved it. He loved the way it fit in his hand, how the balance was slightly off-kilter, the extra distance it added to his attacks. Most of all he loved the 'swish' noise it made when he swung it and the satisfying 'ka-wong!' it made when it connected with an enemy's head. Yes, it was truly the proper weapon for him and Shadow prized it above all else.

It was his favorite, his beloved, his instrument of ultimate retribution.

It was a fine street sign.

AN: I don't know why but there's something inherently hilarious about running around beating things with street signs. I can never resist doing it when I play. If you've never tried it before I command you to go and do so now, you won't regret it.