Author's Notes: Thank you for putting up with my whacky-ness…my funky persona-fied readers. Love y'all! Any kind of review will be much appreciated, I'll be happy any way.

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Vocabulary

Willy – slang for male sexual organ.

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Persona's Secret Diary

Genre: Humor / Friendship

Written By: Wrath of Athena

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Page 13

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Friday, 11 pm.

Dear Diary,

I really don't know why I always seem to find myself in the wrong places at the most convenient of times. I'm suffering from excitement for the next day to come. I hoped a nightly walk would help put me to sleep.

Who am I to be blamed? Tomorrow is the big day - the first day of my long-awaited vacation! I walked down the halls of the administration building, enjoying the cool solemn air of midnight when a muffled voice bumped off the walls and zoomed straight to my eardrums.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING WAKING US UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?! I was having my beauty sleep!"

"SILENCE!" came another, "…our problem with Persona is the reason why I called you two here."

The ruckus came from a room at the far end of the floor. Knowing all the faculty and administrators have gone off to slumber, I wondered who would be up at this time of the night. The voices were barely audible from where I was and since my curiosity got the better of me, I decided to investigate.

Detective Persona prowling in the middle of the night: oh yeah, that sounded good. Mwahaha.

Too bad I didn't know what I was getting my butt in to. I just had to know what's going on. Curiosity may kill the cat, but it won't kill me.

While I crept closer to the slightly opened door, I identified the owner of the second voice as the elementary principal's. The first one, I guessed, belonged to the junior high principal. Hearing two people I was strangely attracted to brought me to a lion's den.

I pretended to be a detective for my own amusement. I tiptoed towards the door and moved my head sideways to make sure no one was around. I could practically hear my own detective theme song play in my ears. I reached the slightly opened door and pressed my back against the rigid wall besides its frame, tuning in to the conversation. I was all set to hear the next part of their dialogue when I felt something expand in my chest. The air rose to my throat and escaped in the form of a hiccup.

"Did you hear that?" barked the elementary principal. I instantly covered my mouth and held my breath to stop myself from hiccuping again. My heart thumped. I shouldn't have spent the whole evening drowning myself in booze.

"No. Must be mice," said the high school principal impatiently to my relief. A sound of glass colliding with wood followed. "Now tell me why you woke us up in the middle of the night for a meeting. This better not be one of your wet dreams again. I told you wet dreams are part of puberty…even if you were dreaming about men."

"Shaddap!" came the boyish cry, followed by a rigorous cough.

"Awww that's so cute. Our little boy's blushing!" snickered a female voice. I assumed it belonged to the junior high principal. Count on Hii-sama to add insult to injury. She loved making fun of somebody else's pain - especially mine - that evil, evil witch.

Oh how I hated her. Her giggles rang like annoying police sirens during a political campaign.

"That means you too, Hii-sama! Damn it. Stop making fun of my puberty."

"What? Your pubic hair?" continued her teasing.

A loud whack boomed through the door. Uncontrollably curious, I peeked with one eye through the small opening. There stood the elementary school principal and the high school principal beside a large wooden table. The junior high principal was sitting on the table, her legs dangling below and a red glowing mark on her cheek.

"HOW DARE YOU SLAP A WOMAN's FACE YOUNG MAN!" screamed Hii-sama, pulling out a mirror. She caressed the red patch and stared at her reflection, tears in her eyes. Her jaws were clenched in fury and she was sending the elementary principal glares only a woman could give.

The high school principal sighed and stepped between them.

"Look, I'd like this meeting to be over so I can get some sleep," he said calmly, "Now if I may intervene, I am aware of the issue going on with Persona." He glared at the two, who turned away from each other while crossing their arms. I should have bought my camera if I knew I'd be coming across a scene like that; all evil took over my conscience as I relished all the possible blackmails I could come up with.

"Fine!" the elementary principal pouted. A shadow fell on his face, and his tone switched to a deep pitch. "I do not wish to rely on Narumi and Jinno to keep an eye on Persona."

The high school principal yawned, and nodded. "I think that's a good idea."

"I also heard Kamen no Kimi is to be accompanied by that Natsume Hyuuga," the junior high principal pointed out, still staring at her reflection in her mirror. "…and I still don't forgive you for slapping me you nasty, nasty boy."

I found it flattering and annoying how the news traveled faster and faster these days. I am perplexed with the advancement in dissemination of information. How did it reach the principals in less than a day?

A mystery...

"Whatever. Anyway, I shall be the one who keeps an eye on Persona and impede any attempt of breaking away from the academy," the elementary school principal finished, grabbing a small blanket on a nearby chair and flinging it over his shoulder. He turned to the two confused principals. "I will also invite someone they both know very well."

"Really? Who?"

"Yeah. Who?"

The elementary principal smiled mischievously - the kind you see on kids planning to kill their parents in a horror movie.

I remember their words clearly, dear diary.

I've been guessing for two whole hours, dear diary.

Who could that person be?

Oh god...couldit be...?

Serina...?

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Saturday, 5 am.

Dear Diary,

Ugh! I couldn't sleep the whole night trying to figure out the identity of that person the elementary principal planned to bring along. It must be Serina! Or maybe it's just me wanting that person to be Serina.

I'm at the back of the limousine right now, trying to hide you from everybody else.

Natsume is outside saying goodbye to his pesky classmates. Oh there he's turning around. You might be interested to know he has this forlorn look on his face. I just peered at the crowd gathered at the gate.

Wait.

Someone is missing…

…the pig-tailed girl.

Could it be…?

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Saturday, 9 am.

Dear Diary,

I KNEW IT!

This morning, Natsume, my son (I kind of like the sound of that...) and I settled in a small two-bedroom apartment. I would describe this place as close to shabby but not quite. The walls and ceiling needed some serious repairs but it these were minor aggravations. What really annoyed was the toilet, because it couldn't be flushed. Remind me later to call someone who will fix that. I refuse to defecate in a toilet bowl with someone else's evil turd floating there. Ewww.

I was in the middle of unpacking my collection of Barbie and Ken dolls when the doorbell rang. It caught me by surprise. For the good of my big willy, we just arrived! Who would pay a visit to absolute strangers in this area??

I commanded Natsume to open the door.

No answer came.

Sighing in exasperation, I gave up and decided to open the door myself. When I got to the entrance, Natsume had already opened the door and was standing there frozen in place. I couldn't see the visitors because the wall blocked my view. Wondering what caused this strange reaction, I walked over to the corner and looked towards the doorway.

I froze in my place, gaping there together with Natsume.

The elementary school principal and the pigtailed girl, Mikan Sakura, were standing in the doorway grinning like crazy and for totally different reasons.

"Natsume…!!! I'm so happy to see you!!!" the Sakura girl cried, hopping towards the scandalized boy. Natsume shifted his gaze between the girl and the elementary principal.

I fixed my eyes on the goblin-like smile on the elementary school principal, falling to the chocolate "Welcome New Neighbors!" cake between his hands. He asked deviously if he could come in, and what do you think I did? Turn them down? Hell no, dear diary! I'm more of a coward than that!

"I need to go to the toilet…" were my last words before I rushed up to my room, grabbed you, and locked myself inside the bathroom - leaving Natsume to handle the situation by himself.

You can't possibly expect me to show my face there with perplexed emotions getting the better of me, can you?

I wonder what they're doing out there…

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To be continued…

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