This is my first attempt at a Hellsing fic. I needed to do something with humor, drama is getting to me. There may be slight OOCness, but well this is to be fun. I stole this idea from Buffy the musical and instead of them singing and dancing around they have no inner dialouge, which I got the idea from Austin Powers one. Yep, I'm insane. Also I do not own any thing related to Hellsing.
Integra Hellsing sat at her desk smoking one of her cigars. She stared blankly at the file before her. Picking up again she re read the contents and still didn't believe it. A demon had been spotted in England, near Hellsing Headquarters, disappeared and now reports where coming in about people unable to keep thoughts to themselves.
"This is complete boulder dash," Integra though, as Alucard fazed into her office, via the floor.
"What is complete boulder dash, master?" Alucard asked as he sat on the edge of her desk. Integra sighed again.
"Can't you use a door?" Integra said, with her cigar still in her mouth. She tossed the file at Alucard. "Apparently a demon can make people speak their inner thoughts. I don't believe it though."
"Hmm," Alucard started flipping through the file. "People speaking their thoughts. Ha that would be fun. It would allow me to know what is on master's mind without entering it."
"Excuse you?" Integra asked, a little irritated with Alucard already.
"Did I just say that out loud?" Alucard respond confused.
"That vampire has gone batty on me!" Integra thought, then she threw her hands over her mouth.
"Batty? What is it with this women and stupid clichés of vampires," Alucard laughed, then looked to his master. "Maybe we should look into this."
"Get right on it," Integra stated. "If people keep speaking their thoughts we are going to have major trouble on our hands."
Alucard fazed back though the floor. Integra leaned back in her chair.
"This is going to be one hell of a week, and it's only Monday!"
Walter was leaving Seras's blood in her room when Alucard fazed in.
"Alucard," Walter greeted as he set the ice bucket with a blood packet on the table. "What are you doing in Miss. Seras's room so early?"
"Does he always have to be so nosey," Alucard thought out loud. "Dammit! I miss my inner dialogue!"
"Oh dear looks like Alucard has lost it finally," Walter sighed.
"What do you mean I lost it finally," Alucard laughed.
"Did I say that out loud?" Walter gaped. "Maybe I'm finally losing it."
"Jeez why can't they just shut up! People are trying to sleep around here!" came the angry muffled voice of Seras from her coffin.
"I'm sorry police girl are we disturbing you," Alucard laughed. "Since you are up come out of that damn coffin."
Seras yawned as she pressed the button that lifted the lid to her coffin. She sat up and stretched, then looked at the two in her room. Her eyes caught her blood, and she slightly cringed.
"Yuck, I'll never get use to that," she sighed. "Better find out what master wants."
"Police girl," Alucard smirked then grabbed the blood packet and tossed it at Seras. Seras caught it and stared at her master. "Drink it now. How I enjoy annoying people."
"Master?" Seras looked questioningly at her master. "Has he gone crazy?"
"I asked the same thing," Walter laughed. "Seems we lost all inner dialogue. How odd, now I have to keep my deepest darkest secrets buried a bit deeper in my mind."
"Why can't they see the genius behind the insanity!" Alucard grunted. He dropped the file on the table. "This tells what little we know about the demon who is making up speak out inner thoughts out loud. Let's hope I won't say anything embarrassing."
"Inner thoughts spoken out loud," Seras gasped. "Oh no! this is no good, my thoughts are private! I mean I can't go around blurting out things about him I think! People can't know my feelings!"
"Seras stop thinking please," Alucard sighed. "Damn girl is making my head pound! Great now she is pouting again! I'm out of here!"
Walter and Seras watched Alucard fazed out.
"He is so arrogant how can I l…" Seras threw her hands over her mouth. "Can we please get rid of this demon soon!"
"For all our sakes I hope so too," Walter sighed and started taking his leave. "One only knows what those guys think. What comes out of their mouths is bad enough, last thing I need to know is what everyone is really thinking. Then it will really make me want to start killing people. I truly work with…"
"Walter," Alucard was leaning against a wall in the hallway he was walking down. Alucard broke Walter's train of thought. "You should do a little less ranting in your mind till we kill this demon."
"Oh dear," Walter sighed. "I said that out loud didn't I. Damn this is going to be hard."
So what do you think so far? Reviews pls!-gives puppy dog eyes- Till next chapter!