RANMA ½ is the creation of Takahashi Rumiko – all rights belong to her and her authorized distributors, Shonen Sunday Comics, Shogakukan, Kitty TV and Viz Communications.
The characters are used without the permission of the above. This fan-fiction is in no way meant to infringe upon their legal and financial rights nor does the author in any way benefit financially from this endeavor. This work is done in appreciation to the hours of enjoyment the above creations have given me.
On the Road Again
Chapter 1
The young Japanese man strode down the road; his eyes, a peculiar shade of blue, flashed in the light of the setting sun. His black hair was bound back in a braided pigtail that still allowed heavy bangs to shadow those flashing eyes. His lithe, muscular frame was garbed in a red mandarin-collared silk shirt, black canvas pants gathered at the ankles, and black slippers over strong well-formed feet. On his back rode a large, worn, much-repaired pack. Ranma Saotome was no stranger to the hardships of the road. His eyes sought out his companion.
On the other side of the road and slightly behind him, walked a young woman with dark blue-black hair that fell to her shoulder blades, restrained by a wide velvet ribbon. Her eyes, normally a warm brown, flashed darkly and her lips were thinned in irritation. She wore a sturdy but feminine brown poplin jumper over a white blouse. White, calf-high socks and sturdy walking shoes protected her feet. On her back was a smaller assembly of frame, pack and bedroll. Akane Tendo was more familiar with the schoolyard than the road, but was almost mulishly determined to learn. Her feet were killing her but she'd rather die than let Ranma get the idea that she was a weak girl. She caught him looking and glared.
Ranma jerked his eyes front and scowled. How the hell had he gotten into this mess? All he'd wanted to do was go to China and find a cure for his curse, and he got stuck babysitting this brutal tomboy. On top of that, she was technically his fiancée. He rubbed his lumps and cursed silently. Damn Pops…
Akane glowered at his back. She was a martial artist, too. She just had to train a bit. All he had to do was help her get the training she needed and they were both free. Why did he have to be so difficult? They'd get to China eventually. After all, he'd trained there, so she intended to do so as well.
They both sighed. If only things had been different…
"I'm Ranma Saotome… Sorry 'bout this."
"Hi! I'm Akane. Wanna be friends?"
"I'm just glad you're not a boy…"
"…take a bath…"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"I'm Ranma… Sorry 'bout this…"
"Choose any one of my daughters. She'll be your fiancée…"
"Oh, he wants Akane!"
"Yes, Akane! After all, she hates boys and he's half girl!"
"…and I'm better built, too! Ha, ha-ha… EeeP-!"
WHAMMMM!
"Now that, he had coming," Genma gulped at the sight of a heavy table broken over a redhead's noggin. Ranma did not wake until well after a certain tomboy had finished her bath.
oOo
The table made all the difference.
Out of the many multiverses that are home to some recognizable portion of the spirit that is Ranma Saotome, in this one a table broke and two old idiots got a little more sauced during their reunion than they should haveThe phrase, in vino veritas (in wine, truth) has rarely applied to these two men, but, as was more often the case, the 'wine' acted on Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome and induced a condition more along the lines of fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt (men believe what they want to believe).
"Yah know, Soun ol' (hic) buddy," the senior Saotome slurred blurrily. "Thosh kidsh of ours are jus' (hic) jus' too stub-uruh-burn." The two leaned across one corner of the common room table. Not visible were several thick phone books supporting the table's center, establishing a modicum of stability.
Several empty liter bottles of saké sat at their elbows already. They had just filled one another's saucers for the next round. The point of discussion was, of course, their violently opposed children.
"Itsh true, (sob) Genma. Sho true… (sniffle)"
The two men nodded sagely over their saucers and ruminated on the unforeseen opposition of said children. Their insults, while childish, were quite sincere and biting. Besides the damaged table, two shoji, one leading to the furo and one in the dojo, would also have to be replaced. They had finally sent the children to their rooms before anything irreplaceable, like their fathers, might be broken. Now that they were trying to recover from the exhausting experience of attempting to manipulate a teenage relationship, they groped for their liquid courage. Genma, veteran of decades of scheming, also groped for inspiration, something he often found at the bottom of a bottle.
"S-soun... Ya know, Soun ol' pal… I bet thosh two r-r-really like each other."
"Do ya-you thing so, ol' fren?" Soun asked hopefully.
"Sure!" Genma said encouragingly. "Any… anyone that complains (hic!) that much is hiding something. The-they jus' got off to a b-ba-a-a-ad start."
"They certinalby did, Gemna… I mean Genma." Soun nodded wisely. His head continued down to thunk against the tabletop. "Ow." He wobbled back up again, thoughtfully rubbing the mark on his brow.
"We can' let (hic) let 'em think doo much… I mean, too much 'bout it," Genma continued, "(hic) they'll never gedagether, I mean, get to-gether-er (hic)." Genma, despite his drink-induced fuzziness didn't miss a drop as he tossed back another saucer of sake. "Besides, we're der fat-fathers, dammit! The-they owe us." He blinked owlishly. "Isha disgrace…"
"(SOB!) You're right ol' fren… So dish-grashable! The skools will NEBER je BOINED! (OH-HO-Ho-hoo-whooooo!)" Soun sobbed a veritable Niagara of tears.
"Dohn… Don't cry ol' friend (hic!) Here'sh wha'… here's…" The bald martial artist shook himself and rallied. "I have a plan…"
"You have a plan, Genma, old friend? (whimper) Soun's eyes swam like two huge, goopy pools on his lean face. "Really?" he added in a squeak.
Genma blinked at Soun distractedly before picking up his straying train of thought. He elaborated. "To-morrorrow, Soun, ol' pal, we pet a briest… uh… Get a priest! Yeh! A priest and we marry our ungradeful… ungrateful chil-ren right a-away before they can ge' in any more trouble…"
Soun in his liquefied state treated this statement as wisdom from Kamisama, himself. "Do you think it might work?"
"Of… Of corsh hit will… I mean… Afer all, if they…they're married, they'll hafa get along, right?" Genma leered. "Jus' let good ol' nature take itsh coursh." They toasted the concept and broke into a very poorly done variation of a Broadway song. "Th-they're getting' ma-married inna mornin'…"
Strong drink has never lent itself to secrecy. Four sets of ears heard their drunken plans and came to conclusions of their own.
oOo
Kasumi stood quietly in the kitchen where she had been going through those final touches that made her home-making a work of art. "Oh… They can't! They're too young!" Almost, she advanced from the kitchen to confront the two. All of the Tendo girls had tempers but their fuses were set for different triggers. Kasumi's was triggered by disharmony. The thought of her volatile sister being forced together with this boy she knew so little about appalled her. Her instincts about Ranma said he just might be a diamond – rough yet, but true. Yet those rough edges would rub her sister raw if they were forced together, and her anger might very well fracture even Ranma's unyielding spirit. She trembled with the need to go out there right now and set those two old fools straight!
At odds with this impulse was the knowledge that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, her words would bounce off their thick skulls like water off oiled leather. In their present state, they were blind, deaf and dumb to anything they did not choose to believe. Tomorrow, however…
Kasumi nodded and inventoried her stores. Hmmm… Habanera peppers, wasabi, extra hot… She considered. Yes, her mother's hangover cure would work. She'd administer it at first light and give those two foolish men a piece of her mind!
oOo
Nabiki shook her head, her eyes flashing. She sat at her desk, her homework forgotten. This was… not good. The Tendo temper was leashed but definitely aggravated. Finances were her pet peeve and this bombshell threatened everything they had.
An engagement was one thing. No real harm done. Her sister would be forced to deal with a boy who was obviously her better in the Art yet was also clueless enough to be harmless. Ranma's curse, viewed from the distance she had placed herself at, was amusing and probably profitable. The opportunities that would occur when a certain bokken-wielding idiot and his hentai horde sought information in an attempt to spike Ranma's wheels were virtually limitless. But marriage? She shuddered. The noise… The violence… The property damage! And opportunity? Right now, fear of Akane's skills balanced the attraction of her charm and looks.
Her eyes widened as she considered this potential future. Tatewaki Kuno had been fantasizing about her sister since she moved up to the high school. He was an unstable, spoiled brat, but a rich, predictable, unstable, spoiled brat. His 'honor' would demand he give up on Akane and turn elsewhere. His ego would demand revenge for being denied his 'prize'. She would lose her biggest customer for Akane's pictures and the Tendos would gain a wealthy enemy bent on punishing them for the perceived dishonor.
She saw no way to channel or control the insanity that would ensue, and that wasn't even counting whatever idiocy was following the Saotomes. She recognized Genma for what he was, a hustler, through and through. It took one to know one, but Genma was a rank amateur at hustling compared to Nabiki - a clever fool. She'd had to deal with one or two like him in her brief time on the earth and they never covered their tracks properly or brought closure to their plans. Trouble always followed them.
She tapped her pencil once, then rose and rummaged in the back of her closet. She retrieved a thick manila folder and opened it. Within were copies of documents, records of past tax returns as well as records of the investments the Tendos possessed that maintained the house and property. Expenses had exceeded their returns just enough to slowly eat away at their principal in the years since their mother had died. Her father had stopped teaching any students except for her little sister. Risks…
She opened a second envelope and withdrew the copies she'd made only last year when she found them. They had detailed debts not listed on their accounts. Honor debts made, in some cases before the Tendo girls had been born. What she held in her hands was a double-edged sword that could strike her down even as she used it. She nodded. She would get up early and beat them to the punch. Maybe she could get Kasumi to make their mother's old hangover cure. She smiled grimly. After they got through with that experience, she'd show them what fear really was!
oOo
Akane sat very still on her bed. 'Daddy… How could you?' she thought. She'd thought she was her father's heir to the Tendo Ryu, Mutsabetsu Kakuto. She'd thought he loved her…
That boy! She tried not to think about him. He was like a bundle of piano wire sheathed in flesh. Hard… Unbelievably fast… As a girl, Ranma was the same, except for her frontal development. And that hair! She'd never seen hair of that shade before, not even on gaijin! A boy who became a girl? It was… sickening; that's what it was! What a pervert he must be, yet… When she'd asked the lonely looking redhead if she would like to be friends, there had been such relief, such seemingly honest happiness, that she'd felt pierced to the heart.
She punched the bed beside her and whimpered in confusion. No! He was a boy! Boys were perverted. Boys were jerks! Boys thought nothing of dragging you off into the dark to… She shivered.
She would not stand for it. She would not meekly go along with their plans. She would not step aside for a rude lout of a boy no matter how good he was. She would not let Ranma take her school, her name or her body!
Akane took a deep breath and let it out. She needed time… Yet from the plans she overheard, that wouldn't happen if she remained here. She ran her hand over the duffle bag and the open, partially loaded pack beside it. Her teary eyes sought out her clock. Just a few more hours…
oOo
Their plans made, Genma left Soun to attempt the steps to the guest room. It took several tries and the trip was fraught with peril, but he finally made it. He paused at the doorway to the dark room. Was something wrong? Damn, was he ever drunk! Oh, well. He'd just sleep it off. He was good at that. The morning would come soon and with it, the fruition of all his planning. He entered.
The whole house shook for a brief instant.
Soun, snored, his forehead on the table. He never felt a thing.
oOo
'Damn Pops! Who do they think they're kidding? Akane thinks I'm a freak and a pervert! I haven't a prayer of her accepting me like this!' Ranma finished tying his old man up. He had to be extra thorough as the old fart was a master at escaping bonds. He shook his head to chase away the memory of a dark-haired girl and her words; 'do you wanna be friends?'
'No… No! I have no time for this fiancée idiocy of theirs. I'm going back to China, old man, and you won't stop me.'
Ranma finished trussing his unconscious father up with rope from their pack. There were limits to how long even the best knots and rigging would hold the old bastard, but all he needed was a good head start. The trick here was not only to restrain his father, but also to keep him comfortable enough to avoid waking him up from his alcohol and offspring induced slumber. Ranma hefted his pack, then paused and set it down again. He took a step to one side and moved to his father's pack.
Quickly, he sought out his father's stash of cash. He had no intention of swimming to China again if he could help it. He set aside his father's bedroll and opened the top of the pack. He grimaced as he pulled aside dirty clothes, underwear, then scowled as he pulled out several plastic-wrapped packs of instant ramen. "Ya been holdin' out on me, old man," he growled. He set the food aside and pulled out a package wrapped in brown paper. Curious, he unwrapped the package. Several books and pamphlets were revealed.
"Huh! N-nekoken…" he read with a shiver. "Jeez… Pop's training manuals. Hmmm…" He set them aside. "Pop knows this stuff. He don't need 'em." He dug deeper. "Ahhh!" But it was only a few thousand yen. "Shit." Not even enough for train fare, much less a trip across the sea. "Oh well. I can always stow away or work for passage." He stuffed the bills and change in his pocket. He pulled out a scrap of paper, a stub of a pencil and wrote as legibly as he could.
Ranma stuffed the note in the front of his father's gi. He felt a strange reluctance about the path he was about to take. He packed the items he had appropriated and closed his pack with efficient movement. He sighed deeply then and regretfully ran a hand over his father's bald head. "See ya, old man." Hefting his pack, he opened the window and glided over the sill. The die was cast.
He silently made his way around the corner of the house, pausing beside the dojo. The well-kept structure gleamed darkly in the light of the moon. He took a moment to reflect on the sparring match he'd had with Akane. He cursed silently in regret. (…wanna be friends?) She might be a violent maniac, but she sure was a cute violent maniac. Not a bad martial artist either, for a girl. She obviously hadn't begun the aerial techniques that Ranma and his father were so expert in, but for someone who worked mostly in two dimensions, she wasn't half bad.
Clouds were moving in and soon would obscure the moon's silvery light. When it did, he would leave. "Hell! Gotta get goin' before I talk myself outa it." He saluted the house with his middle finger. "So long Pops… Tendo. It's been great… Not!" He turned and with a short rush leaped the wall. As he did, the clouds obscured the moon and plunged the grounds into darkness. No sweat. He'd land on instinct. He just hadn't expected 'instinct' to be walking around the corner of the wall at this hour of the night. Anticipating only the street, he fumbled his landing.
"Awk!"
"OooF!"
"Eek!"
The shadowy figures regarded each other in the darkness. Both were now seated on the sidewalk, courtesy of Ranma's impetuous leap. Ranma slid free of his pack and stammered an apology, offering his hand to help. "S-s-sorry!"
His landing pad shrugged free of a smaller pack and duffle bag before she staggered to her feet rubbing her posterior. "Oww… You jerk! What do you think you're doing?"
Ranma suddenly recognized the silhouette and voice of his unintentional landing pad. "Aw, man… It's the tomboy."
"Ranma?" Akane's voice went from angry and pained to almost lethal with an undertone of panic. "I won't go back!"
"Huh?"
"You can't make me!"
"Uhhh…" Ranma paused in raising a hand to interrupt.
"Freak! Pervert! You think I'd let you just walk into my life and have your way with me?"
"Have my…?" Ranma's eyebrows tried to climb to the top of his skull. "Tomboy, the only thing I want is outa here."
"I know your kind! All you want to do is get into my panties!"
"Give me a break." He turned away from her in disgust.
Akane tried to clock the pervert but missed, as his response didn't match her expectations. She hesitated. "What?"
"I'm a martial artist…" Ranma glared at her, angry at her baseless accusations. "…and a man."
"So?" she sneered. The clouds scudded from in front of the moon, illuminating his face in silvery planes. The harsh light suddenly made him seem older, more mature and Akane suddenly felt a twinge of doubt at how she'd labeled this cute boy… 'Cute? No, no, no, no...'
Ranma snorted. "A martial artist protects the weak. A man is known by his discipline and his honor. As a man and a martial artist, I have the discipline to ignore distraction or resist temptation." Akane blinked, saying nothing but staring at him. Was she finally listening? Why was she looking at him like that? Why did he care? "I mean… like when you walked in on me…" As the clouds obscured the moon again, he missed seeing Akane's eyes narrow as her internal conflict was temporarily resolved. "It would take a lot more than that to bother me."
"Oh?" Akane's tone was deceptively neutral.
"That's right."
"I suppose if a girl, built like your curse, walked in like that, it would be more difficult?"
"Goes without sayin', really," Ranma chuckled unthinking.
Seconds later the outer wall shook under a heavy impact.
"Ow!" Ranma complained from his dent in that structure. "Cut it out, ya over-muscled gorilla-girl."
"Oooooooh!" The girl's form stood with fists clenched at her sides.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he growled, extricating himself from the shattered stone. He scowled as she whirled away to gather her things. "What the heck are you doin' out here anyway?" he asked angrily. 'The nerve of her ambushing me like that,' he added to her self, forgetting he had jumped on her.
She snarled. "Maybe you didn't hear what our parents planned? I'm not sticking around for Daddy and that panda-father of yours to drag some poor old priest over here in the morning."
"Oh, that. I heard alright."
"Well let me tell you! I wouldn't marry you if you were the last male on earth!" She glared at him. "Even if that could be only half the time!"
Ranma sputtered for a moment. Akane was just beginning to smirk when he retorted, "That goes double for me," he snapped back. Why the hell had he ever hoped to be friends with this… "No wonder you were so happy to see a girl this morning. You're just like your tit-squeezing sister."
Akane blinked confused before the evidence he was laying before her fit together. "I am not a… a… that way!" She swung a fist at him and missed. That slippery, arrogant, conceited boy! "And neither is Nabiki, you jerk!" She tried again to tag him, but Ranma flowed like smoke just as he had in their little match that afternoon. She swung around and, inspired, snatched up her duffle bag and swung that.
Ranma blocked, startled when the power she had drove him back a step. The canvas bag, not designed for such abuse, practically exploded. Ranma paused confused as something fresh-laundry-smelling drifted across his head. He pulled it away, glanced at it then glanced again. Panties?
WHAM!
Suddenly he was introduced to the boundary wall again. "You really enjoy doing that, don't you?" he inquired in a muffled voice. He had been re-introduced face-first. The offending article of clothing drifted to the ground.
"I will always take satisfaction out of pounding perverts…" Her vitriol ran down as the realization that her attack had strewn her belongings all over the street sank in. "Oh, no!" Akane complained. "Look what you've done."
"What I've done?" Ranma disengaged his features from the rock of the wall and looked around. "You're the one who hit…" Unmentionables were scattered everywhere, along with toiletries, makeup, manga and a loaded schoolbag. Akane flitted from spot to spot, agonizing over her misfortune. In spite of himself, he felt bad. The little sounds of distress reminded him that you weren't supposed to make a girl cry. And well… If things had been different, they might have… "Ummm… Sorry?" he asked.
To Akane it was simply the last straw. Her body trembled, her face screwed up…
…And Ranma pinned her against the wall one hand over her mouth. He'd already heard enough of Soun's histrionics and presumed it might be genetic.
"Jeez!" he hissed. For the most part, their argument had been done in savage whispers up till now. "Don't wake the whole neighborhood. I'd like a little more time to get away." He loosened up his grip and sweated a little. The girl's eyes were huge and he didn't know how to take the look she was giving him. "Listen to me this time, okay? I know I can't be anyone's fiancé like this. So I'm leaving; heading back to China to find a cure." He let up the rest of the way and stepped back when it appeared she would remain silent.
"You… you're leaving?" she asked.
"That's what I was tryin' to say!"
"Just like that?"
Ranma blinked. What did this girl want? "Like what?"
"You…" The dark haired girl began to get angry again. "You walk into our lives… Upset everything… Don't you know I can never go back?" she muttered.
"Never go…? What are you talkin' about?"
"Jerk!" she snapped. He barely dodged a very neat, un-telegraphed punch. "Don't you understand anything?" 'Anything' was said with particular emphasis and venom. Ranma eyed the volatile girl and shut up for the moment. Akane for her part did not continue with a follow-through. They stood in the dark outside the Tendo-ke wall and thought their separate thoughts.
After an uncomfortable pause, Ranma said, "Uh… Look… Ya can't just stand around out here with your stuff scattered all over the place. Whatever yer gonna do, let me help you get this picked up…" He glanced down at the loose unmentionables. "You can pick up the under-things and I'll help ya get this other stuff."
Akane finally nodded and they began to retrieve the contents of her bag.
"So… Yer sayin' yer movin' out till yer old man stops bein' such a pain?" She nodded. "Where were ya headed?" he asked, then caught himself. "Not that it's any of my business…"
"Yuka…" Akane said haltingly. "She's my best friend from school."
Ranma nodded. That was a start. "And after that?"
He sighed when Akane looked puzzled. "Yer old man'll just come get ya, or he'll get her folks ta send ya home," Ranma said reasonably. "So where ya goin' after that?" At Akane's continued silence he added with mild sarcasm, "Ya ain't got a plan, do ya?"
"Shut up!" she snapped. "I… I'll think of something…"
Ranma's lack of patience and social skills chose that moment to really shine. "No looks, no brains and no common sense… Do you have anything goin' for you?"
WHAMMM!
Ranma picked himself up a little while later. "Oh, yeah… a good left. You can go far with a good left." He looked in the direction the dark-haired girl had taken. "But not far enough. Damn." He looked up at the moon, back at the Tendo house then, wondering why he was doing this, jogged down the avenue in Akane's footsteps.
oOo
"Oh, you poor dear!" Yuka's mother wrung her hands. "Trying to force you into an arranged marriage in this day and age."
Akane nodded, her own eyes brimming with tears. "I just couldn't stay there anymore, ma'am."
Yuka's father was a bit less welcoming. "How long would you be staying, Tendo-san?"
"Kentaro! How could she possibly have had time to think such things out?" Yuka and Akane were like spectators at a tennis match. "I'm sure she just needs some time for her father to come to his senses."
Akane winced. Ranma had been right – as much as she hated to admit it. Yuka would probably just be a stop along the way. She had other friends, of course, but perhaps she should consider getting a job to pay for her own apartment. Maybe she should check with Nabiki at school tomorrow to find out what a place of her own would cost. She frowned as the adults argued politely over little points of her impending stay. She had never thought about it, but weren't there rules concerning student employment? As Akane thought back, she remembered something about a girl who'd gotten expelled for working in a bar, but she wouldn't have to do anything like that, surely. She chewed her lip as the pitch and volume of the voices around her changed. Yuka's mom and dad were really beginning to skirt the boundaries of good taste in their 'discussion'. She hadn't realized how her decision might affect others. At some signal between them, her hosts suddenly ceased the argument and began to make arrangements for her stay. Akane looked at Yuka's strained face and winced. Maybe she should have thought of that, too.
Ranma found a comfortable tree limb and settled himself down. He'd had worse resting places in his journeys. Not far away he made out Akane's silhouette on the window shade of a room at her friend's house. He had listened in on the 'discussion' between Yuka's parents and guessed Akane had even less time under their roof than he'd expected. Ranma never gave serious thought to why he was sticking around Nerima. 'I'm just waitin' to tell a certain tomboy 'I told you so',' he decided before falling asleep.
oOo
Morning came and with it retribution. Kasumi stepped briskly, if quietly, down the hall with a vessel that could only be described as a quart stein in her hand. Within, a murky looking semi-liquid swirled. As she turned to go back to the master bedroom, she heard light footsteps on the stairs. "Oh! There you are," came the quiet voice of the middle Tendo daughter. The two sisters paused and considered one another.
Nabiki was still in her pajamas but, for a change, looked alert and ready for the coming confrontation. Under her arm, a folder of papers was neatly tucked. Nabiki nodded to her sister. "Is that…?" she indicated.
Kasumi nodded and swirled the liquid in the mug. "Mother's recipe for hangovers." She raised an eyebrow. "And you?"
Nabiki's smile held little warmth. "Just a few old skeletons. I doubt Daddy will want to dance with them like Tofu does Betty-chan."
Kasumi almost smirked. Tofu was funny at times. Her lips pursed thoughtfully. "Daddy respects Tofu-sensei. Perhaps, if worst comes to worst…"
Nabiki patted her papers. "I don't really expect that to happen."
"Oh, my!" Kasumi glanced away to the master bedroom. "Then I suppose it is time for Daddy to wake up." Together they advanced to roust the bear from his den.
"Father…"
"Ungh…" The pile of cloth stirred.
"Father? It's time to wake up…"
"Unghhh…" This time the response was purely verbal.
"Wakey, wakey, Daddy," Nabiki sing-songed. "I thought you had plans for today. Better get an early start," she cautioned.
Soun groaned. His head pounded. His muscles ached. He felt like hell. If Nabiki was in here, whatever it was, it must be important. But how the hell could he remember with his head pounding like this?
"Here, father," Kasumi's gentle tones came. "This should help."
"Thank you, daughter," Soun said as a large warm cup was placed in his quivering grip. A hair of the dog that bit him would be perfect. As he tilted it toward his lips a spicy odor wafted up. Hmmm… That smelled familiar.
"Let us help you, Father," Kasumi said sweetly.
Soun felt two strong fingers pinch his nose shut while a slight but strong arm circled behind him for support and leverage. He heard Nabiki chirp, "Down the hatch!" as what seemed like an unending stream of warm syrupy liquid cascaded past his tonsils. He coughed and regained some control.
"W-What is the meaning of… Urp!" The potion hit bottom and 'bottom' acknowledged its presence.
Suddenly, his head seemed to implode down through his body to meet his toes. His hair shot out of his scalp like hard-driven arrows, only to re-grow like nails being forced from one side of his skull to the other. His skin was flayed away in a thousand tiny cuts and the tissue underneath soaked in brine. He shot to his feet with a mighty shout…
…and fell on his face before them in the position of a supplicant chanting "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! …"
"Oh, brother," Nabiki said. She knelt down to try to meet him eye to eye. "Do you know why we're here?"
"…I'm sor-" Soun's chant stopped abruptly. "Ummm…. No, not really." He seemed to consider for a moment. "By the gods! Kimiko's special medicine…" He jerked to an upright kneeling position. "You got it just right… Ahhhh, Wahhhhhhh!" Suddenly he was wailing in remembrance of his dead wife.
"Oh, dear," Kasumi sighed. Nabiki growled softly, losing patience and prepared to bring out the big guns. She slapped her father with her package of documents.
Soun cowered back. His daughters were acting scary! Kasumi had just treated him to Kimiko Tendo's secret, 'I'm so pissed at you I can barely stand it' special hangover cure and Nabiki had just cuffed him with… He looked over the papers and found his hair really standing on end. "Where did you find this?" he croaked.
"Here and there," Nabiki answered casually. "Now… About your plans to sell your youngest daughter off to your deadbeat friend's son?"
"Ha, ha, ha!" Soun sweat-dropped and looked guilty. "Where did you hear that, Nabiki-chan?"
"Last night. 9:24 P.M. Fifth bottle of saké. Would you prefer the tape recording?"
Soun swallowed.
"Getting drunk and making inconsiderate promises last night might not be so bad, if I didn't suspect this wasn't the first time." Nabiki tapped what looked like a photocopied napkin. "Does the name 'Chardin' ring any bells?"
Soun blanched.
Kasumi shook her head. "Father, father, father…"
Soun, braced by his daughters, wobbled down the hall. "But I can't!" he whined. "When Genma and I trained under the… the Master…" He made a ward-off gesture against evil. "…we promised to unite our schools and families one day."
"Daddy…" Nabiki growled.
"It's the only way I can revive the school," Soun whined. "Ranma is obviously an excellent martial artist…"
"And what is Akane?" Kasumi asked, a hint of steel in her voice.
Soun winced. "Your sister is good. Very good, in fact, for her age, but…"
"She's a girl?" Nabiki shook her head. She had no illusions about the chauvinism of the average Japanese. Even other women might think twice about having a woman as the dojo master. They stopped before the Saotome's door.
"That's partly it," their father admitted. "Akane is also too impatient." He sighed then. "That's partly my fault. That, and I was unable to teach her the higher elements of our Art." He sobbed softly but reached for the door. "I lost too much focus when your mother died. Now Ranma…" He stopped, eyes boggling. The girls pushed past him.
Inside, in the middle of the two futons laid out for their guests, was a snoring Genma Saotome, trussed up like a turkey. Nabiki glanced around the room and noted that the elder Saotome's pack had been rifled and that a certain, pigtailed martial artist was not in residence in either gender.
"Oh, my," Kasumi said sweetly. "The dojo's hope is flown."
As Soun's subsequent copious weeping failed to wake up his longtime comrade, the two sisters treated themselves to the interesting sight of the trussed Saotome trying to claw his throat out after a single draught of Mother's special medicine.
Untied, Genma sat shocked for a moment as he recovered from the 'medicine' he'd been forced to swallow. Nabiki smirked as Kasumi politely asked if he needed another. She hadn't seen a survival response like that since her sister last tried to cook. Finally he looked around. "Where's Ranma?"
"Good question," Nabiki smirked. She noticed the paper sticking out of his gi. Plucking it free, she read aloud:
Pop, ya left me no choice. I'm goin' back to China. Ya can't expect Tendo's daughters to take me seriously when I look like this. Ever think they might have lives of their own or even boyfriends? Except for that grabby girl, they didn't seem very happy about fiancés even before they found out about the curse. And afterwards? Feh!
Don't bother to try and follow me. I ain't goin' the way we came. I'll keep studying and checkin' out dojo, so don't worry. I'll be back after I've found a cure.
Ranma
"Grabby girl?" Nabiki frowned.
"Oh, dear," Kasumi said almost tearfully. "I apologize for being such a poor hostess…"
"Don't apologize, sis," Nabiki drawled. "They've hardly been good guests."
"Drat that boy!" Genma shouted, examining his pack. "I can't believe he did this to me! The ingrate!"
"Saotome," Soun tried to interrupt. "About our plan…"
"Think nothing of it, Tendo." Genma turned with fire in his eye. "I'll hunt the ungrateful brat down and have him back for the wedding by lunchtime."
Nabiki and Kasumi rolled their eyes. "This is a school day, Mr. Saotome," Nabiki said with finality. "Daddy, I have to get ready for school. I suggest you have a good long talk with your friend here." She patted her documents. Soun winced and smiled weakly.
"Oh, my! Akane should be up by now! I better wake her," Kasumi exclaimed, turning to the door with the duck on it. "Akane! It's time for school."
Genma frowned at his sweating friend. "What do we need to discuss, Tendo?"
Kasumi shot back out the door of her sister's room a note clutched in her hand. "Akane's gone!"
oOo
Ranma snorted slightly as the sun filtered through the leaves of his tree. "Alright," he said as he came fully awake. "The dew musta stayed close to the ground. Still a guy!" He rolled off his branch and flipped to the ground.
A passing car sent up a spray of water, drenching him. "Aw, man…" she complained, dripping. Grumbling she set to work, wringing out what she could. "Watcha lookin' at?" she challenged a pair of passing salarymen as she wrung out her shirt.
"Damn perverts," Ranma grumbled as they decided the crazy girl was a little too scary to ogle and sprinted away down the sidewalk. Ranma scowled again as she pulled the damp silk back on. A sweat-drop appeared as a passing mother hid her child's gaze from the sight of a 'shameless hussy flaunting her wares'. It began to occur to Ranma that what he'd been doing was a little… wrong. She was picking through her pack for some breakfast when a certain voice caused her head to snap up. Akane.
Akane bowed deeply to Yuka's mother. "I'm sorry to be such a bother…" she began.
"It's really no bother, Akane," the older woman replied. "Dearest just gets gruff right before payday." She flinched and hid her face with her hand. Flustered, she waved and shut the door.
Akane sighed. Definitely a short-term stay, if she wanted to keep her friend.
Yuka put a brave face on it. "C'mon, Akane! We can get there early and bypass your admirers."
Akane groaned at her description of the Hentai Horde and shook her head in disgust. "No. They'd just think they were winning."
Yuka sighed. Together, they set out for Furinkan High School where they were first year students. Yuka wondered about her friend sometimes. Pretty, bright and incredibly violent – at least to those morons who followed the Kuno Doctrine. Akane had many admirers but few close friends. Many of their peers were afraid to get too close to the martial artist, especially after she first clocked Kuno. Even she and Sayuri weren't as close to Akane as they were to each other. Akane had also been distanced from the girl athletes as she refused to go along with their petty rivalries.
"Lets take our time, then," Yuka offered. "Besides, those idiots, they line up like you would for concert tickets."
They meandered along chatting, rounding the corner with an… "Eeep!"
Akane windmilled her arms before regaining her balance. Yuka stared bug-eyed at the very petite red-haired girl who had popped up before them like a jack in the box. For all Yuka knew, she'd popped out of that huge pack on the ground behind her. Curiously, Akane seemed to know her… and didn't seem to like her, either.
"What are you doing here?" Akane's voice dripped with malice. She looked Ranma up and down. "And like that?"
"Hey! This is the public street, tomboy!" Ranma, who had stood up suddenly to avoid being stepped on, smirked at her. "Like this? Can't stand the competition, huh?" She leaned wa-a-ay back to avoid a swipe from Akane's bookbag. "Slow…"
"Wow! Are you a martial artist, too?" Yuka gasped. She had just barely seen Akane's move.
Ranma grinned. "I'm the best you'll ever see."
"Ranma, you're an arrogant, stuck-up jerk!" Akane accused. She refrained from making another attack. She wanted to save her dignity, and her strength, for the challenge ahead. "I thought you were leaving?"
"It's not like I got a schedule or nothin'," Ranma shrugged. "Besides, I wanted to make sure ya got to Yuka's last night."
"You followed me?"
Yuka grinned. So… the new girl wanted to be friends? Having Akane's undisputed 'I am the best athlete' attitude challenged could be interesting. This new girl acted cool, too! Wild hair, she talked like a boy, she… Yuka glanced down when Ranma jiggled while protesting Akane's accusations. Hmmm… she didn't wear a bra… With her development, that would have to change. In fact, Red acted like she didn't know how a girl should act… Suddenly, she thought she understood.
"I bet you lost your mother when you were young," Yuka suddenly stated, interrupting Akane as she was about to blow up at Ranma again. Yuka frowned slightly; Akane usually was more charitable. This new girl just needed some guidance. The other teens boggled at her.
"H-how did you know," Ranma asked in a small voice. That was freaky.
"You dress and talk like a boy, and you don't wear a bra," Yuka pointed out smugly. "I bet you've only been around your father most of your life."
"Well… sorta…" Ranma had to admit. She twiddled her fingers nervously.
"That's not quite it," Akane muttered.
"Why don't you walk with us?" invited Yuka. "Akane won't bite."
"I might pummel, though," Akane growled softly.
Ranma gave Akane a flat stare at that comment. While they were in their staring contest, Yuka tried to pick up Ranma's pack. It didn't budge. "What have you got in here?" she wondered aloud. "Rocks?"
Ranma broke off the staring match to easily heft the heavy pack to her shoulder with one hand. "My stuff." At Yuka's stare, she added, "Been on the road mosta my life. Don't have much, but what I do have, I got in here." She patted her load and shrugged into the straps.
Yuka boggled when the fasteners popped on Ranma's shirt as the weight and position of the straps forced the fabric tight across the redhead's breasts.
Ranma grimaced, grumbled and re-adjusted her shirt while Akane made snide remarks. But Yuka looked at her so expectantly, she grudgingly fell in step with them as they continued to school. Yuka ignored the death threats emanating from Akane though she noted her friend had picked up the pace, as if to spend as little time in Ranma's presence as she could. On the way, she tried to discover more about the new girl.
She chatted about girl-things to scope out the territory, and quickly discovered Ranma was ignorant about normal girl activities, and was horribly flustered about discussing feminine hygiene. This had the positive effect of improving Akane's humor but Ranma's fair skin soon nearly matched her hair. Wanting to avoid embarrassment Yuka quickly found the field of discussable topics narrowed down to just a few.
Ranma's travels were like a heroic epic and her recounts of exotic places caught their attention. It was heavily laden with descriptions of temples she had visited and dojo she had trained at. Ranma had visited all of the Japanese islands including Okinawa, passed through Korea and traveled completely across China, stopping at the famous Shaolin Temple and journeying beyond all the way to the foothills of the Himalayas.
She had trained or sparred with masters in over a dozen different martial arts, and had a scholar's grasp of not only fighting styles, but of healing techniques to go with them. She also had a solid grasp of basic cooking.
"I wouldn't have suspected that such a boyish girl as you could cook, Ranma," Akane jibed.
Yuka rolled her eyes. "Don't throw stones in glass houses, Akane," she warned.
Akane colored and sighed. "Arrrgh… I can too cook… I…" She suddenly deflated. "I just don't get it! Anybody can cook! Why can't I?" She threw up her hands in disgust. "Kasumi makes it seem so… effortless."
Ranma smirked. "Can't cook, neither?" She cut her teasing short at Yuka's glare. "Hey, ya only got so much time in a day," she relented. "You do martial arts instead of cooking." She jerked a thumb at herself. "I'm only good at cooking cause Pops always felt cookin' was beneath him, so I'd get stuck with it. 'It's the student's job to serve his master, boy,' he'd say." Ranma's girlish contralto deepened to imitate her father. She hesitated as Yuka suddenly looked teary-eyed.
"How horrible!" she sobbed. "Your father even calls you 'boy'? You poor thing! He's denied you your femininity!"
Ranma gave a hysterically cackling Akane a sour look and waved Yuka's concerns away. "That really ain't a problem, Yuka-san." She turned back to their subject. "But if I left it up ta Pops, we'd either eat cabbage and mayonnaise all the time or roadside stew."
"What's roadside stew?" Akane asked, regaining self-control and wiping her eyes. Ranma's femininity…? (snicker)
Ranma pointed at a stray dog. "Well… that might be an ingredient."
"Eeuw!" Her audience shuddered.
Ranma shrugged. "If you're real hungry and don't got no money, you do what you hafta."
"Remind me to warn Nabiki to have the neighbors watch their pets," Akane gagged. Surprisingly, Akane was not being snide, but was attempting a bit of weak humor. She had never had to deal with not having food or shelter and hadn't considered what it might mean to be without. Ranma's life sounded… uncomfortable.
Ranma snickered, herself. "Ya don't gotta worry 'bout that unless Kasumi'd be willin' ta cook it."
"You really eat cats and dogs?" Yuka broke in, appalled.
Ranma flinched, a look of distaste on her face. "Well, I don't much like c-c-cats," she admitted. "And usually we could find odd jobs to earn money for food and supplies." Ranma made a face but refrained mentioning the petty theft he'd finally stopped when he was twelve and stayed in one place long enough to discover it wasn't considered honorable.
"So how did you find time to be a martial artist and a good cook?" Akane asked.
"Didn't go ta school much," Ranma admitted.
"Speaking of school, we're getting close," Yuka warned Akane who was lost in thought.
Akane's head came up and her eyes narrowed.
"Close?" queried Ranma.
"Akane is… popular," Yuka said cryptically.
"Popular she says," Akane growled. Ranma's nape prickled. Akane was beginning to generate a battle aura. It wasn't visible, but Ranma could feel it like static electricity along his exposed skin. "We're this early and they still…?" Akane muttered with loathing. "Boys…"
"She really is a man-hater, huh?" Ranma asked in a loud whisper to Yuka.
Akane heard the redhead but didn't even blink. "Not men. Boys. I hate boys. Lousy, disgusting, perverted boys."
Ranma blinked.
"Hate boys… hate boys… hate boys… hate boys…" Akane began to accelerate toward the school. Ahead of them, dozens of boys ran to confront the onrushing girl. "I. HATE. BOYS!"
oOo
Akane's note had pretty much said it all.
Kasumi, Nabiki—
I'm leaving and I won't be back anytime soon. Daddy, how could you? I thought I was your heir. But I'm only a place-keeper for the real heir – some boy I've never met; who's rude, immature, and (for heaven's sake) changes gender? I'll be training and I won't be back until I'm ready to prove myself.
Akane
Genma snorted at the sentiments expressed. "As if she could ever beat my son."
All three Tendos glared at him. Akane might not be at Ranma's level, but…
Nabiki wondered privately how Genma had ever managed to get close enough to a woman to father a child, given his lack of social skills. Still… She turned to Kasumi. "Yuka's house. It's closer."
"You think so?" Kasumi asked, relieved and momentarily distracted from Genma's rudeness.
"You can call and find out, if it makes you feel better, but I'll probably see her this morning at school."
Genma grunted. "That's settled then. Tendo, you get your daughter. I'll get my son. They'll be wed by supper."
Soun quivered under the dual glares of his daughters. "Uh… Saotome, I believe we should revise our plan of last night."
"Why?" Genma looked puzzled. Getting the boy married right off could solve a lot of problems. Especially if any of his other 'back-up' plans showed up.
"My daughters have pointed out that Akane is still in school."
"So…?" Genma began to sweat as if in the presence of a deadly threat. He was a bit unsettled by this. After all, Soun definitely wasn't threatening him, and the girls were not trained in combat…
"I think we should return to the idea of merely affiancing them at first." At Genma's disbelieving stare, he added, "Let them grow accustomed to each other."
"They can do that after they're married."
"Well, I need to get ready for school," Nabiki broke in coldly. "Daddy, remember what's riding on this." She patted her document folder again and smirked at his wan expression. "I'll need your decision before I leave. Banzai!" She added waving airily as she returned to her room to get her bath things. Genma was clueless but her father understood perfectly.
oOo
At Furinkan, Tatewaki Kuno strolled to his place beside the ornamental cherry tree four meters from the main entrance of Furinkan High School. As usual, he was early, the better to prepare for the advent of his 'destined' love. As he reached his position, he turned to face the rising sun, performing a bow as if to a dojo kamidama. He knelt, contemplating the rising orb, and silently composed haiku. It wasn't necessarily good haiku, but it was heartfelt.
Another sunrise;
Are thoughts of a crimson cloud
Dew on sakura?
Kuno frowned. It was summer, not spring. He would try again.
Around him, the others awaiting the morning challenge began to form. They were all mere athletes and martial arts hobbyists, in Kuno's opinion. Someday Akane would see that no one else was so worthy of her as himself. Each morning demonstrated her superiority to the common throng. And when the throng finally understood she was beyond their reach, he would demonstrate his true power and Akane would be his!
Kuno suddenly realized that he was kneeling in the middle of the schoolyard cackling like a maniac, drawing the attention of the assembled horde. Quickly he restrained himself. "Return to your preparations," he commanded with a wave of his hand. "The fierce tigress is relentless and we must be ready." With difficulty, he returned to his meditations.
He became aware of the storm clouds assembling. Thunder rolled. He felt his hair rise in response to the power in the air. 'Yes!' he thought. 'It is an omen. Surely, this day will be a turning point.' Inspired he returned to his preparations.
He was shocked when his musings were interrupted by a feral scream.
"I. HATE. BOYS!"
Akane was early.
Akane plowed into the pack of hormonal idiots with a fresh intensity and vigor. She had been quite unsettled by the morning's conversation. Ranma, in his clueless rude way, was challenging a lot of her firmly held beliefs about her definition of 'boy'. The onrushing idiots helped her re-establish her world-view. Boys were idiots. Boys were perverts. Boys were for pounding! The horde responded desperately but was, as always, unequal to the task.
"What is this all about again?"
Yuka sighed. "I told you," Yuka said impatiently. "Kuno issued an edict that anyone who wanted to date Akane had to beat her 'in combat' first." She waved at the carnage. "This is the result."
"Huh?" Ranma's puzzled look began to cross over into appalled. "I thought you guys meant single combat or somethin'. What the hell kinda challenge is this?" A frown crossed her face. "No wonder she 'hates boys'." They watched as Akane whirled through the mass of humanity like a cyclone. "Damn! She's not bad against crowds." Ranma noticed the other girl's look and added testily, "I could do it better and faster, ya know."
Seconds later, Akane faced Kuno who stood crouched over his bokken like a wounded animal. "Alright, Kuno. Let's get this over with. I want to get to class."
Kuno rose from his knees, bokken in hand. "Nay, fair one. It is still early. We have time for our dance of love." He gestured with one hand and suddenly a rose appeared between his fingers. With a casual flick he sailed it at her.
Ranma fielded it out of the air. "What a moron."
"Ranma! Get out of the way!" Akane growled.
"Why do you put up with this?" Ranma continued.
"This is my fight!"
"What vision is this that dare interfere with holy battle?"
Ranma huffed and glanced back at Akane's tormentor. "If ya can't see, get some glasses, jerk."
Kuno ignored her jibe. "Could it be true? Yet another valiant goddess of war; cast in the same mold as Akane Tendo? Be still my heart!"
Ranma glanced down at herself then at Akane. "What are you talkin' about? I'm way bigger…"
"Ranma!" SLAP!
"What was that for, you un-cute girl?" Ranma turned to Akane, furious, and now sporting a handprint on her cheek.
"How glorious! The two beauties fight for the honor of my attentions!" He made the mistake of trying to hug them both.
"Pervert!"
"Jerk!"
K-Pow! Kuno stumbled away, his cheeks swollen from the impact of a pair of fists.
"Who do you think you are, grabbin' me like that?" Ranma snarled. It was her first experience at groping and she wasn't happy with the sensation.
Thunder rolled and Kuno's face lit up – or perhaps it was just the swelling. "Yes, I am inspired!" he declared to the lowering clouds. He turned back to his unimpressed audience. "I shall introduce myself! Let it be known that I am Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, Junior Class Representative, school champion and captain of the Kendo Club, known as… the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" He posed dramatically.
Two of Nabiki's cohorts, there early to scope out the Horde's positions and compositions for Nabiki, whispered to one another. "Blue Thunder?" murmured one.
"News to me," replied her friend. "How can a noise be a color?"
"Maybe it's like that music form from America; you know, Rhythm and Blues?"
"I don't know, but he sure is sad. Poor Akane, but at least that's over."
"Enough!" roared Kuno. His ears were quite good, especially when he was being discussed.
"Well, I'm Ranma Saotome of the Saotome Ryu of Mutsabetsu Kakuto; and I…"
"Thou? Thou art of the same discipline as the fair Akane? It must be destiny!"
"That I kick your butt?"
"She is fiery and jests sweetly," Kuno said amused. "But for the nonce, stand aside, for I wouldst do battle with Akane as is the custom here. Perhaps thereafter…?"
"Get out of the way, Ranma," Akane growled again.
Ranma snorted at Kuno. "You ain't in my league, Blue Blunder," she said. "See ya around, Akane." She turned and headed for the gate.
Kuno's eyebrows rose toward his hairline. "Mock you my skill?"
Ranma turned back. "You and your bozos go after Akane every morning, right? And ya haven't beaten her, yet, right?"
Kuno nodded, as did several of the Hentai Horde, who had regained consciousness. Ranma snorted again. "If you can't beat her, you won't be able to touch me." Wack! "Ow! Cut it out, you maniac!" Ranma rubbed her head.
"You just got lucky!" Akane shouted and stuck out her tongue.
There was a moment of terrible silence in the schoolyard.
"Y-you beat Akane?" Kuno stammered. His mind seemed to explode. This pigtailed girl was even better than Akane?"
Ranma ducked Akane's next swing of her bookbag. "Yeah. And it wasn't luck, neither." She easily jumped over a leg sweep, somersaulting away. "Nyah!"
"Akane! Fair One!" Akane jumped and stopped her attack on Ranma as Kuno suddenly thrust his bokken toward her threateningly. "Forgive me, my tigress but events have shown that I may no longer delay in the culmination of our courtship! Prepare yourself!"
"What?" Akane backed up, her face paling.
"Cry 'Havoc! Loose the hounds of Love!' Akane! I come to you at last, holding nothing back! Yield to my heart!" Kuno's feet kicked up a cloud of dust as he began a steady powerful charge. "DA-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da…"
The force of the attack staggered the nearby Yuka and swept her aside like a leaf. Akane was forced back, her arms up defensively as Kuno's technique ripped through the air. She saw Ranma dart forward to catch her friend and lower her the rest of the way to the ground. She stepped back briskly, refusing to let her taller, heavier opponent close with her. Yuka looked dazed as Ranma turned toward them with a strange, hard expression on her face. That jerk, Kuno, had hurt her friend! Pain lashed her blocking arms. What the heck!
She sometimes suspected Kuno had been holding back. But her past experience in fighting him, as well as those few kendo matches she had seen him compete in, hadn't prepared her for this. Even though the point of his weapon was still an arm's length away, the force of the vortices it created were ripping the sleeves of her blouse and bruising her arms. She could hear the sharp retorts as the pulses of charged air cracked against the concrete wall behind her.
She stumbled as a wave of doubt assailed her. If Kuno had been holding back, she might not win this. And if she lost… No! She wouldn't think about that.
With a growl, she timed the rhythm of the thrusts and her hands snapped forward to catch the wooden blade as it recoiled. She took the brunt of the air pulse from that thrust across her chest and cried out as it laid open the tougher material of her jumper. She rolled back away from the pain but didn't fail to yank Kuno forward, bringing her foot up to catch him in the gut and launch him over her head.
He hit the abused boundary wall, already damaged from his technique. It cracked completely and collapsed, partially burying him.
Akane rolled to her feet, panting. She frowned at Ranma, far closer than before, as the other withdrew the hand she had held out to steady her. She glared at the Hentai Horde who had been cheering Kuno on and some of the wiser members slunk away. Backing away from where her foe lay in the remains of the wall, she turned and ran to her friend. "Yuka!"
Yuka raised a trembling hand in answer. "I'm alright, Akane. What was that?"
Ranma answered instead, her tone detached and almost clinical, "Each of his blows twisted a little in the air. Each thrust threw a ball of compressed air ahead of it. Interesting technique."
Akane blanched. Kuno was that skilled? He had been playing with her!
Ranma scowled. "He wasn't too careful about bystanders though. Why, I have half a mind ta…"
Then their hair stood on end as, behind them at the wall, chunks of concrete shifted and slid aside. A battered form rose from the debris wielding its wooden weapon. As they turned disbelieving to watch, Kuno swept his bokken at a nearby tree. Though it was as thick around as his own body, it sheered as if cut by a sharp blade. It slid to one side and fell.
"I fight on!" Kuno declaimed, raising his bokken above his head and snapping it down as if performing the blood-stripping moves of an iado technique. Holding his bokken in a two-handed grip once more, he advanced on them, his eyes on Akane. His stride lengthened and the bokken drew back to again perform his thrusting technique.
Akane was frozen in panic. This was like her nightmares coming to life. She wouldn't be able to stop him this time! He would beat her and then… Even as her heart sank down and her arms trembled, she set herself, ready to go down fighting. A cry of rage started to struggle out of her throat, but it was closed and would not properly form the 'ki-yah' to help her center and develop her power. She was going to lose…
Ranma suddenly appeared inside the circle of Kuno's arms, her eyes boring fiercely into his, her mouth set in a hard line. "You have some nerve."
Startled at the interruption, Kuno stopped and tried to back up or spin away from this unexpected obstacle, but Ranma matched his every move as if they were in some exotic dance. "What right have you to interfere?" he shouted.
"You hurt Akane's friend," Ranma countered. Ranma slapped aside shortened blows and continued to drive Kuno around the schoolyard. "What kind of martial artist are you? We're supposed to protect, but you… You're just a bully. And what's the deal with your pervert army?"
"Anyone who would dare prove himself worthy of Akane Tendo must defeat…"
"Oh! I get it! Yer a buncha cowards who don't have the balls ta ask her out 'cause she might say no?" Ranma suddenly stopped dead and Kuno stumbled to the ground, unbalanced by the unexpected loss of his dance partner. "Oh, boo-hoo!" whined Ranma in an irritating voice. "Let's all us big strong men dog-pile the little girl so she can't tell us no!"
Kuno, scrambled to his feet, outraged. "It is a measure of our regard for our goddess of battle, that we accord her such odds." His eyes grew soft and his tone turned cajoling. "Surely you must understand, pigtailed one. You, too, are of a similar mold, a veritable goddess of battle." Ranma shuddered at his look. "Aye… You even do me the honor of waging battle. Defeat me and I will let thee date me."
"Gaaah!" Ranma gagged. She jumped over his sudden, unannounced thrust and landed balancing on the outstretched blade of wood. As Kuno boggled at her choice of location, she suddenly spun, sending a small solid heel into the side of his face. Kuno hit the ground like a ton of bricks, bouncing from the force of the blow. Ranma landed lightly and caught his bokken as it spun, unattached in midair. "Why would you think I'd ever want to date you, scumbag?"
"You… should address me… as… upper class…mannnn…" Kuno took a nap. At this point, the rest of the horde departed having… healthier pursuits to interest them. If Akane was violent, this new girl was downright deadly!
"Jackass. I ain't even goin' to school here," Ranma huffed. She turned back to where Akane stood guard over her friend. "You guys okay?"
Akane shook herself and glared with loathing at the recumbent kendoist.
"I'm alright, Ranma." Yuka smiled a bit weakly but, after they helped to her feet, gave a little bow of appreciation. "Wow, I wish you were going to our school. Between you and Akane we might even keep these perverts in line for a change."
"Ain't that what police are for?" asked Ranma. "Blue Slumberer over there shouldn't be allowed to harass people like this. Police are trained to take down idiots like him."
"Not when they're rich idiots like him," Akane said. She couldn't quite keep a tremble out of her voice.
"Never when they're rich," Yuka agreed. It'd be nice for Akane to have a peer she could look up to and who could back her up, the way she and Sayuri were unable to. "C'mon, Akane. Let's get to class."
Akane took a step toward her friend then hesitated. She looked back at Ranma.
Ranma shrugged. "It's been nice meetin' ya." She picked up her pack and carefully shrugged into it, avoiding her earlier embarrassment. "I guess I'm outa here. I'm headin' back ta China."
"Oh, damn," Yuka muttered to herself. Kuno was going to be impossible now and next time he would beat Akane.
Akane shivered in loathing. If only she had had Ranma's training. She looked thoughtfully at the redhead as she started to walk away.
Ranma took a few steps and then turned back. The look Akane was giving her was freaking her out. And she had the vague feeling that she was neglecting something. 'Dammit, I can't just leave her with that pervert around. Even if she might deserve it.' "You sure you're okay, Akane?" She cringed at how stupid that sounded.
Akane, doubly shaken by Kuno's prowess had turned away, pondering her own inability to protect her friend or herself from him. It had happened so fast, yet Ranma had flowed inside the self-styled Blue Thunder's guard with apparent ease. She shook herself. If only she could move like that. "Um… Yeah. I'm okay."
"You sure?" Ranma leaned in and looked at her searchingly.
"I'm fine," she snapped. Yet she couldn't help glancing at the redhead as a wild plan began to percolate in her head. The clock tower chimed the hour.
"It's too bad you can't go to all those places Ranma trained at, Akane," Yuka said.
Piku, piku…
Akane turned her head and looked at Ranma. Ranma looked back. Akane's expression suddenly made Ranma realize how much she and Nabiki looked alike.
"OOOoooooh, no! No way. I ain't doin it."
"I think that's a great idea, Yuka," Akane said. "Ranma…?"
Ranma cringed. "You mean ta tell me, you wanna risk bein' around a pervert?"
Yuka frowned. "You really go on too much about perverted, Akane. So what if she doesn't wear a bra…"
"You don't know half of it, Yuka," Akane said, not removing her gaze from Ranma. "It seems I'm stuck dealing with a pervert whether I stay or go."
Ranma glowered forgetting her words just moments before. "I ain't no pervert!"
"There's only one difference I see between you and Kuno, Ranma."
"She's a girl?" offered Yuka weakly.
"No. But I think Ranma will keep his… uh, her word." Akane folded her arms across her front and tapped her foot. "Well?"
"Why do I need to give my word to a violent tomboy who ain't goin' with me?"
"Ranma," Akane said fiercely, "I am the heir of the Tendo Ryu of Mutsabetsu Kakuto. You are the heir to our sister school." She frowned and reminded herself she had to 'persuade' Ranma. "I need more training to be worthy of the name, and to get us out of that mess we're in."
"Mess?" Ranma looked blank. Akane's hand came up to cover her face. She wasn't going to say it. "Oh! You mean our dads' plan to hitch-!" Akane's hand slapped across Ranma's mouth to muffle the words.
"If I can take over the dojo," Akane smiled saccharinely. "We won't have to do… that. Understood?"
Ranma grimaced, waffled, and finally… "All right, I'll do it."
"And…?" Akane said sweetly.
"And? Oh! I promise on my honor as a martial artist that I won't do anything perverted with you."
Yuka looked shocked. She'd thought Akane was joking! "Are you really… that way?" she asked timidly.
Ranma groaned. She really didn't want to get into this. The regular students were beginning to filter in through the gates and the Blue Bungler was beginning to stir. It was time to go.
oOo
Nabiki walked briskly along, mildly satisfied by the morning's events. Genma had grudgingly agreed to pull back to the original idea of an engagement. She had noticed he was involved in many of the honor debts she'd found in her father's records. Flashing a few sheets of paper under his nose had caught his attention, as had her father's expressed intent to not go down alone. Even so, it had still taken a patented Soun Demon-Head to convince him. The elder Saotome had also vacated the premises, if only temporarily, to search for his son. With any luck, Ranma would keep him running around for months.
As she approached the front gate at Furinkan, she smirked at how her schemes would stir the pot around here. As she passed through the gates, her smirk vanished. The Hentai Horde was in a shambles. Kuno knelt, bruised and concussed, before a depression in the ground that distinctly resembled him. His features were set in an expression of confusion and hormonal overload.
"Akane must have gotten here early," Nabiki murmured. She quickly marched up to a pair of her lieutenants for a report. What she heard annoyed her. Kuno had abruptly stopped holding back on her dear sister and a new girl had promptly stepped in to the rescue, stopping Kuno with ease. The red hair and pigtail were unmistakable. Ranma had stuck around for some reason.
"What happened here, Kuno?" she snapped as she marched up to him.
"Speak to me in tones of respect, woman!" Kuno spoke with the surprising clarity considering his condition. "I have been visited by angels and I would contemplate my soul."
"If I heard right, you…" Nabiki considered several insults but refrained. She needed information. She was also considering retribution. "You were visited by my sister and a certain pigtailed girl, who proceeded to hand you your butt."
"Do not tarnish a pure dance of life and love with your magpie's chatter!" Kuno allowed one eyelid to crack open and glint at her. "Indeed, for though your sister fought well – even beyond her normal skill — it was the radiant fire-haired beauty who did lay me low. Wouldst that I knew where she has flown."
"This little birdie might acquire such information… for a price," Nabiki frowned at the 'magpie' crack, then his words sank in and she broke into laughter. Kuno? Chasing Ranma? Smirking, she said, "You're giving up on my sister?" She should be so lucky. That might pay off on the home front, too.
"Nay! Forever does her pure and fierce beauty dwell in my heart!"
Nabiki contemplated this. "Both? You're going to two-time her, then?"
"If that is what you call it," he replied. Thunder rumbled and the first drops of rain marked the ground.
oOo
Yuka stared out the third story window. Ranma and Akane were gone and, as near as she knew, she was the only one who knew what was going on. The fellow travelers had dragged her into the school to the nurse's office, where they appropriated some hot water. In one of the equipment rooms, they had shown her-!
She still had trouble believing it. She had promised Akane not to tell anyone except Nabiki. And that only if she was certain not to be overheard. Then, with a splash of water, a handsome dark-haired boy suddenly stood in the place of the short, busty redhead.
She sighed. It was ridiculous! Akane was running from that? So what if he was cursed! She could tell he was nice. Now they were off on a journey that Ranma estimated would take at least two years. But she wasn't allowed to tell anyone! Except Nabiki. Because they didn't want anyone to know they were together, because they didn't want to be forced into marriage, no matter how much Yuka thought they would be so right for each other…
Yuka yelped as Nabiki put a hand on her shoulder. Nabiki's slender hands didn't look strong, but the grip was inescapable. "Yuka, where's my sister?" Nabiki demanded quietly.
oOo
"Insensitive jerk," Akane accused as she led Ranma back toward Yuka's house for her belongings.
"I can't believe I'm doing this. No girl could ever get as good as me."
Akane glared. "Prepare to be surprised…" She got an evil grin on her face. "…little girl."
"Gah!" Ranma twitched at this remark. "I'm a guy, dammit," he retorted.
He had gone nose to nose with the grinning Akane when something caught his eye. He glanced down. "Hey! Didja know that idiot cut right through your uniform? I can see yer -!"
SLAP!
"What are you looking at, pervert?"
"You are so-o-o-o un-cute," he growled, turning away and putting some distance between them. The look he gave her reminded Akane that she did need Ranma's cooperation.
Well, maybe she had over-reacted, she grumbled to herself as she politely collected her things and bowed herself past her friend's flustered mother. But Kuno's last blow on her had split the fabric of her jumper, her blouse and her bra. She wasn't sure just what he was peeping at. She'd changed, of course, while she'd been inside. Besides, hiking around in a school uniform and mary-jane's just wasn't sensible.
Outside, Ranma grumbled to himself. Couldn't he be worried? That jackass with the stick might have actually hurt her. It wasn't like he hadn't seen it before; even hers, for that matter. Ranma looked up suddenly as Akane returned, angry words on his lips that he seemed to lose as he saw her. Akane suddenly felt nervous - on display - yet not ogled. She cleared her throat to apologize as Ranma re-remembered his grievence.
"Ranma…"
"Look you…"
They looked nonplussed.
"You first," they chorused with short nervous bows.
Akane dove in. "Ranma, I'm sorry I hit you. I guess you might have just been worried about me. I'm just so used to boys being… jerks. I should give you the benefit of the doubt since you're helping me."
"Uhhh… That's alright," Ranma replied nervously as his complaints were derailed by her apology. "I'm not used to bein' around girls at all, so…" He twiddled his fingers. "I'm sorry I screwed up your life. If Pop and I'd never come around, you wouldn't hafta do this."
Akane swallowed. "Maybe it's for the best. Kuno would have stopped holding back some time." She whispered, "I can't believe I misjudged him so badly."
"We all make mistakes." They heard the echo of one another's voices. There was a long moment of silence.
Akane hesitantly stepped across the intervening space and held out her hand. "I'll understand if you don't give me the chance, but… Friends?"
At her words, Ranma suddenly smiled. Akane almost gasped because she'd last seen that smile on Ranma's girl form. Warm, hopeful and totally open. "Sounds good ta me." He took her hand gently but firmly. "Friends."
Akane barely restrained herself from snatching her hand away. She felt warm and tingly. "S-so…" she quavered slightly. "Where we going?"
Ranma pointed northeast. "The train station, then… North, I think. The mountains are good training in the summer."
"The train? But we don't have enough money to…"
Ranma waved her protest away dismissively. "I got it covered. Call it part of your education in survival." He grinned, eyes sparkling. "Trust me?"
Akane blinked. Her normal answer would be no. Oddly, she didn't feel like saying no. It was quite confusing. Finally, she nodded.
Ranma chuckled, pleased. Akane had guts. "That's my tomboy!" he laughed, turning away.
Akane barely restrained herself from pounding him. 'Tomboy? Oooo!'
She began to track him as he ambled down the road, deciding that some retribution was deserved here. Just as she began her charge he turned grinning, his expression throwing her completely off balance again.
"And I know just how to start you off!" he declared, smirking.
Akane aborted her launch and figuratively rolled to a stop. "Uh… How?" she inquired. His voice had been cheerful, but the kind of cheer one had when introducing honey into someone's hair, or a snake into a bedroll.
His grin got bigger. "How well do you swim?"
Author's Note:
Well... And they're off! I've seen a fair number of AU's with Ranma and Akane meeting in different ways, including some where Akane went along on the trip. I haven't seen any taking this route, though its an obvious one. Needless to say, things will happen quite differently, and while the pressure from their parents will be removed (or abated at least) a lot of their problems will still find them, sometimes in a different order, sometimes from completely different viewpoints. Unlike my other stories, this will develop as it goes along and while Akane is a strong favorite as Ranma's life companion, it 'ain't fixed in stone'. Feel free to comment, but I'll warn you: It's not up for a vote. If it fit's the story, I'll do it - if not... Though it might change, I don't at this time plan a crossover, and there definitely will not be a self insert.
This was done as a sort of 'writer's block' cure. Better to write something than brood over a lot of nothing. Needless to say, once it works, and Master Ki starts moving, updating will be rather hit-or-miss. Enjoy!