A/N: Gah! I'm such a horrible person! I go camping for a week, don't update, and come back with a whole new fic! But don't worry-- it's just a one shot! Yay one shots! Haha well, I got this idea some how… and thought it would be funny. So please enjoy and review!
Disclaimer: Yo no seas poseer Naruto (ha that's Spanish for 'I don't own Naruto'! Just thought I'd step out of the box…)
Sakura's Nude Escapade
Uchiha Sakura smiled and sighed as she relaxed in her bubble bath. She sank further so the water was now up to her collar bone and the bubbles were almost touching her face.
Sakura couldn't help herself when she found the old bottle of bubble bath hidden in the back of the closet. She'd been worn out from working at the hospital, training, and of course, helping her husband try to resurrect his clan. A bubble bath was just what the pink-haired girl needed.
Sakura giggled as she held her breath and let her head sink into the warm, steamy water completely. She brought her head back up and wiped the bubbles that clung to her pale face as it rose up from the water. The twenty year old leaned back against the tub's cool walls and was about to close her eyes when she was interrupted by a sudden
CHIRP!
Sakura's sea foam green eyes shot open and she furrowed her pink brows in the noise's direction.
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
Shut up! Inner Sakura fumed, pulling out a kunai and effectively beheading the annoying bird.
Sakura sighed again, realizing that that was just a fantasy and she would have to get out of the tub in order to bring peace back to her morning.
'Maybe if I ignore it, I'll forget about it…' she insisted, not wanting to get up.
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
Psh yeah right! Let's kill it! GRRR! Inner Sakura instantly went into 'battle stance', only to be ignored by her real self.
'Maybe it'll just go away…'
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
That's it… it's DEAD! Inner Sakura had become pretty good at the infamous Uchiha Glare, and used it many times… including now.
Sakura pouted a bit, but hoisted herself out of the warm bath and grabbed a bright white towel, wrapping it around her petite body and tucking a corner in between her breasts, effectively holding the cloth in place. She headed over towards the open window and the obnoxious bird, leaning over the window sill to grab the edge of the large window.
The window, however, seemed to have other plans. It got caught on a branch of the large tree that stood to the left of the Uchiha mansion and refused to be moved. Sakura grunted, crawled up so she was now squatting on the window sill, adjusted the towel a bit so it was more secure around her dripping wet body, and leaned forward, one hand grasping the wall as an anchor, the other trying to release the branch.
Sakura's dripping wet hair was now falling in her face and dripping down it. Sakura growled and used her hand that once anchored her to the wall to move the wet sections behind her ears. Of course, as fate would have it, the branch decided to let the window go, causing it to swing forward. Since her feet were wet, Sakura slipped from her position and fell forward, the window slamming shut as the pink-haired girl dropped to the ground.
Sakura landed on the ground with a loud OOMPH! She lay on the ground for a bit, trying to regain her bearings, and see if anything was broken- because she fell so unexpectedly, she wasn't able to use her ninja-skills and kick her chakra into gear and land gracefully like Sasuke, oh no, Sakura landed flailing arms and all.
She slowly blinked her eyes open, rubbing her head and muttering. Sakura started brushing the dirt from her body when she realized that dirt was clinging to her wet form from her shoulders to her feet… with out a towel! Sakura gasped and looked up.
There, swaying in the breeze, caught in the window, was a bright white towel.
Sakura cursed and ran towards the house, hiding behind bushes. She was about to jump up on the tree and open the window, when she realized that Sasuke had ordered the windows to automatically lock several months ago. Sakura let out another curse.
Gah! Sometimes Sasuke-kun is too possessive! Inner Sakura snarled.
'Well I suppose he did have his reasons.'
What's the big deal? So what if some guy gave us flowers for our birthday a few months ago! Sasuke-kun was just jealous because he didn't do that!
Sakura rolled her eyes. 'Well, the fact that the guy broke into our bedroom to do so didn't really help… especially since I was changing and all…'
Did you ever find out who the guy was?
'No… I did find a scrap of green spandex on the window though…'
Sakura shuddered. She knew only one man who wore green spandex and was crazy enough to give his crush (a married woman) flowers for her birthday- all the while breaking and entering.
Then Sakura remembered her situation. She ran to the back door, making sure she stayed up against the wall of the house and behind bushes and trees. Finally she made it over to the back door, and grasped the handle with joy. Sakura tried to turn the knob, but found she couldn't.
Ah! Who locked the damn back door! Inner Sakura fumed, smacking her head on a brick wall.
'I can't catch a break!'
Sakura let out a cry as she realized how many twigs and leaves were now caught in her hair, and her body was covered in dirt and sap. She would have to bathe all over again! This was not Sakura's day…
Sakura took a deep breath and decided to try the front door. She again scooted around so the front of her body was pressed up against the house and her back was being scratched by branches.
Soon Sakura had reached the corner. She was about to go around it, when she heard voices. She peeked her wet, dirty head around the corner, hiding behind a large bush and green eyes widened. Several men dressed in business wear were walking to the front door! The front door that was Sakura's only escape!
'This is it! I'm dead! I survived the fall, but Sasuke-kun is going to kill me for sure! I'm going to die with out children or clothing! Gah! Damn you towels that don't stay in place!' Sakura wailed in her mind. She knew that if the men saw her Sasuke would be very upset.
Then Sakura remembered that Sasuke had told her that several other clan leaders were going to come over to meet with him. She'd completely forgotten! She had the perfect outfit picked out and everything! Sakura was so excited to meet them, she wanted them to know that the Uchihas would still be a thriving clan! She wanted to show them that they were as much of a clan as the other ones were.
But now those chances were slim. Sakura let out a dejected sigh. Then she saw someone pass by a window! He was wearing a navy shirt and… there was the famous chicken hair Sakura loved!
GAH! SASUKE-KUN! HELLLLLLLP! Inner Sakura yelled.
Sakura raced over towards the window and knocked on it. Only now the men were knocking on the front door as well, so Sasuke just heard that. He headed over to the door, not hearing Sakura's poundings.
Sakura followed Sasuke with her eyes and figured out what room they were going to. She gulped and decided to try her luck with that window. Sakura crawled over to the window and barely peeked her head up, trying to hide her chakra so the other men wouldn't figure her out.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura half yelled and half whispered, slightly knocking on the window. She flailed her arms, but still no use. Sasuke didn't see her!
"I first want to thank you all for meeting me here, it is a great honor to be meeting with all of you," Sasuke said to the group of men sitting and watching him, some nodding.
"As many of you know, I am in the process of reviving my clan, and hope that it can one day thrive as it once did."
"Sakura-san is an excellent woman to revive your clan with," a man said. "She is very skilled and talented. Mixing her Haruno genes with your Uchiha ones will bring a strong, intelligent, skilled clan. You are very lucky."
Sasuke smirked as the other men nodded in agreement. "She should be down soon and you can meet her. I am sure you will all be impressed. She is poised,"
"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura shouted, flailing her arms.
"Graceful,"
"AAAUGH!" Sakura shouted as she tripped, trying to get her husband's attention.
"Well mannered,"
"DAMNIT!" Sakura shouted, rubbing her rear as she stood up.
"Respectful,"
"YOU ARE SUCH AN OBLIVIOUS IDIOT!" Sakura yelled, banging her head on the window, still not getting any attention.
"And very loving. I know you will all like her. Now I would like to discuss some issues that I've noticed happening between families during the years…"
Sakura heaved a sigh and slumped down to the ground, scowling and crossing her arms. Then she saw it. A big, beautiful rock. It was about the size of the ramen bowls at Ichiraku.
Grinning, Sakura picked up the rock and started sending chakra to her arm. Then with all her inhuman strength, she chucked it into one of the windows on the other side of the house.
When all the men heard the bang in the other side of the mansion, they immediately ducked down, thinking it was an attack. Of course, that would be a pretty good idea, nearly all of Konoha's clan leaders were in one building- one room! Sasuke shook his head as he slowly stood up, several kunai in hand. How had he not thought of it before? If anyone had any plans for getting rid of their clans, this kind of thing would be the place to do it! Sasuke scowled and motioned to one of his maids.
"If I could have your attention please," he said as the woman walked in. "This is Sora. She will be taking you to a room with out windows. If you'll excuse me, I'll go check out what that was…"
The older men nodded and followed the middle-aged maid to a room in the middle of the mansion. Sasuke headed down the main hall which lead to the direction of the bang. He was almost there when he heard the front door slam and sensed someone's chakra, but couldn't tell whose it was.
They're hiding it… he figured. Sasuke hid his own chakra and slowly inched towards the front door. Then he saw a person. He grabbed them and roughly slammed them into the wall, holding a kunai up to their throat.
"What do you think you're- Sakura?" Sasuke's obsidian eyes widened at the realization that his wife was the one wriggling under him- a very naked wife.
"S-Sasuke-kun! Um… I can explain, I swear!" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, trying to focus on what Sakura had been doing, and not the fact that she was naked and pressed up against a wall.
"…Well?" Sakura gulped and eyed the kunai. Then Sasuke realized it was still pressed up against her throat and lowered it, still trying to cover her naked form in case any of the men came into the hall. He asked one of the quiet maids to fetch a robe for Sakura. The girl took one look at Sakura's appearance, turned bright red, and nodded, running up to the couple's bedroom.
Sasuke turned his attention back to Sakura, cocking a brow and smirking, just imagining what Sakura did to end up like this. He crossed his arms and couldn't help but look the young wife up and down. Sakura blushed and attempted to cover herself, which did very little. Sasuke couldn't help but get turned on.
Sakura nervously cleared her throat. "Well… it all started when I was taking a bubble bath. I was finally relaxing when this annoying bird began chirping! I tried to shut the window and I fell out of the window and-"
"How did you end up naked?" Sasuke interrupted. Sakura's cheeks reddened again.
"Oh. Um, well… when I fell, the window slammed shut and… the towel got stuck in the… window." Sasuke snorted, but nodded for her to continue. "Then I tried to use the back door and it was locked! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LOCK THE BACK DOOR!" Sakura suddenly shouted, causing Sasuke to flinch.
"Er…" he scratched the back of his head nervously.
"Uchiha-sama?" the quiet maid said, holding a robe out and keeping her gaze down. "Here."
"Arigatou," Sakura said, wrapping the robe around her.
"So then I saw you in the window and I tried to get your attention, but then those men came to the front door! So I tried to get your attention when you were in your meeting, but you were as OBLIVIOUS as ALWAYS and so I had to use drastic matters."
"As in throwing a rock and breaking our window?"
"Um… hai."
"Why didn't you just climb in through the window again?"
"I COULDN'T BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO HAVE THEM AUTOMATICALLY LOCK!" Sakura shouted, growing angrier.
"THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT SOME PSYCHO SNEAKING IN ON YOU WHEN YOU'RE NAKED AGAIN!" Sasuke retorted.
"WELL I DON'T CARE IF HE'S A PSYCHO, AT LEAST HE REMEMBERS TO GET ME FLOWERS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!"
"OH DON'T START THAT AGAIN!"
"Erm… Uchiha-sama?" a maid said, peeking from around the corner.
"WHAT!" the pair shouted at once.
The maid blushed and averted her eyes. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but um… we can hear you in here…"
Sasuke's eyes grew wide. Sakura smiled shakily at Sasuke. "Um… haha oops! Well… I've gotta go! Bye Sasuke-kun!"
Sakura ran past a somewhat confused and upset Sasuke and raced into their bathroom. Sasuke shook his head and thanked the maid, who nervously bowed several times before heading down the hall. He walked back in the room where the clan leaders were relaxing and laughing.
"Um… gomen," Sasuke said, causing the older men to laugh.
"She's feisty!" one of them said with a chuckle.
"She reminds me of my wife when we were young!" another said as the others laughed. Soon the conversation turned to the men's wives and their quirky personalities and stubbornness.
Sakura hid around the corner, listening with a giggle. She smiled contently and skipped down to the wash room, filling the bath tub with water and bubble bath again.
She walked over to the window and grabbed the towel, setting it down next to the bathtub.
Sakura sighed happily and slid into the hot water. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, a smile growing on her face.
When suddenly, there was a loud
CHIRP!
A/N: So there you have it! I think I got the inspiration for this from a Desperate Housewives episode where Susan gets locked outside of her house naked and the hot neighborhood mechanic Mike 'rescues' her. Funny episode. Honestly I'm not sure why I thought of it now suddenly… oh well.
Please review!