Author's Note: Well this story was produced by reading a large discussion about the RikuSoraKairi triangle and from playing the very end of Kingdom Hearts. Still haven't beaten it, I can't beat the very last battle with Xemnas in white cuz I have no items. Stupid Saïx took 'em all up. I wonder if there are any fics like this anyways ... cuz I doubt I'm the only person who ever wondered what would happen if Riku never changed back. Also I really think Sora is OOC so excuse that but I really wanted to write this and I dunno; only way I could. Oh and over use of the word 'and' but for the style of this fic I meant to do that. Anyways please R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Warnings: yaoi, language, implied sex or lime-ish stuff, spoilers, Sora is ooc, overuse of the word 'Xehanort'
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They all finally returned to Destiny Island, all except Riku.
Riku isn't going to come back to his home, unless of course some type of miracle happens but Sora doesn't believe in miracles. He stopped believing in them when Xemnas was finally defeated and Riku wasn't standing next to him and instead Ansem was. Or Xehanort rather (it was kind of hard to call him that after Sora knew him as Ansem for over a year)
So, miracles don't exist and neither does Riku apparently.
Sora wants to see his former best friend in Xehanort's form and he knows its Riku, knows that deep inside Riku is definitely still there but orange eyes glow a little too brightly and the hair is a little too long and his skin is a little too dark and no matter how hard Sora tries to ignore it his physical appearance is too strong and his eyes win over mind this time. And he wants to bad to just run because if he can't see Riku then he knows Riku is still Riku and not Xehanort, as weird as it sounds.
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Sora runs to Kairi now more often than not.
He loves to hold her in his arms and feel her thin body warm against his, her red hair ticking his cheeks and her skin pressing softly against his and he knows she's real and she's Kairi.
He tries not to close his eyes too much around her so that he can know she's real and not a clone or a heartless doll or a nobody. She's not, she's Kairi and she'll always be real and she'll always be Kairi.
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Life's too short, Xehanort says. Sora has a hard time calling Riku 'Riku' now and he thinks twice before saying a name in fear of saying the wrong one. A pissed off Xehanort would be scary and Sora couldn't fight him. His heart, that's just something it wouldn't let Sora do.
Oh, Sora murmurs, closing his eyes and trying to imagine Riku there with lighter skin and jagged, flowing silver locks and his mind seems to be winning. Cautiously he cracks an eye open and peers through thick lashes at Ri—Xehanort ... it's just Xehanort he realizes seeing orange eyes and black pupils starting at him.
Yah, and I've realized to get what I want, I have to make the first move, Xehanort replies and looks over and attempts a smile. It scares Sora. He leans over slightly and Sora instinctively pushes back against the long limb of the paopu tree. He knows what Xehanort wants, what Xehanort needs. He's not stupid but he is just a little more frightened.
He shakes his head and jumps from the tree, walking away and not looking back and he feels its Riku he's walking away from. Its Xehanort though and he looks back and it is in fact Xehanort and he feels better about walking away.
What Xehanort wants, he'd give it to Riku but not Xehanort.
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Sora tries not to fuck Kairi. He tries to make love to her but a part of him wants to push harder and harder and he wonders why. Anger? Maybe it's because Riku is not Riku but is Xehanort and he wants to fuck Riku. He can't though.
He tries to keep his eyes open when he's with Kairi so that he doesn't forget who he's with. Its hard sometimes, but only sometimes, when a surge of pleasure rushes through his body and he can't stop himself from closing his eyes and when he does, he sees Riku there and not Kairi and the urge to move harder is a bit stronger.
He realizes that this isn't real because he wouldn't be the one fucking his best friend but he'd be the one getting fucked and he opens his eyes. It's her and he's relieved because he remembers Riku is gone and replaced with Xehanort. And he's so glad this is Kairi and not him.
Kairi is a lot less scary.
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He's absolutely terrified when he's underneath Xehanort and he tries hard not to cry because it's not like its rape or anything. He's letting him fuck him because he is absolutely desperate for Riku.
He keeps his eyes closed as much as he can during it and asks for Riku to talk to him while they fuck so he can hear Riku with his ears and see Riku with his mind's eye and—Ahh Riku! He moans and another thrust is forced into him and Riku's body presses up against him and he almost screams when he remembers he's being fucked by his enemy of last year and not his best friend.
The hands running up and down his sides are way too big and he just wants this all to stop and he doesn't want to feel anything but sadly the pain is bad, terrible (physically, emotionally, and mentally) but its not enough to numb him completely.
Sora shakes his head, pleading, Xehanort stop, and Xehanort freezes quickly and completely and Sora realizes his mistake.
Xehanort ... Riku pulls out and grabs his clothes and throws them on and runs out, ashamed because Sora can't see more than the monster he's become.
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Sora tries to make things better by calling Riku by his real name but he doesn't answer and Sora absolutely hates the fact that he can't get over how much Riku changed like how it took time with Kairi, except this time it's so much more drastic.
He walks away and Riku thinks its better this way because monsters are supposed to be alone.
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Sora hides from Kairi and Riku because if he's with Kairi he knows it'd hurt Riku more than he already has. He hides from Riku because Riku wants nothing to do with him and he doesn't want to return until he gets over his change and can make things better.
He calls him Riku now, step one.
He visits the Secret Place to get away from everyone and he sees that Kairi returned his paopu in the drawing he made at 14 and it only makes things worse because this will hurt Riku and he's already gone through enough.
He doesn't scratch it out (he doesn't want to hurt Kairi either) and instead begins to draw Riku but as he continues he can't stop it from turning into Xehanort and he throws the rock and falls to the floor.
He's the monster, he thinks to himself, if he can't even get over Riku's appearance. Riku is still Riku and he wants Riku. He's so stupid because his form isn't stopping him from Riku, but his own stupidity is and he absolutely hates the decisions he's made.
He stands up, determined, and heads out of the cave, looks for Riku and finds him. He smiles, saying, Riku I'm sorry, I know its you and he takes the other's hand in his and he just knows its Riku there. Not Xehanort. Xehanort never was there.
Sora was always and still is a pretty good liar.
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Author's Note: Damn it, I used people's names waaay too much but I thought that without the names it would be confusing. But now it sounds weird. –sigh- the ending was rushed, hate it but uhhh yah I guess the rest is good, despite the names problem. Grr. And Sora's oocness. Tried not to make him sound like a pussy but I kinda failed. r&r?