I dont own Inuyasha or its characters A big Thanks to Azaleea who, though very busy, made time to edit for me...Thanks...I'm glad you liked this...\
Right Here By Me...by Neisha
Kagome stood facing Koga; the wind stirring at her back blew her raven black tresses about her shoulders.
"Where's mutt face? "he asked as he reached to take her hands in his familiar greeting.
"Um, I'm sure he'll be here shortly Koga, and please don't call him that, it's not nice."she replied trying to politely extract her hands from his- he tightened his grips in response.
"I want you to come with me Kagome. You're my woman, you shouldn't be out here unprotected." he murmured stepping closer.
Pulling her hands more forcefully from his, she took a step back. "I told you already that I'm not your woman Koga." she replied, a soft blush staining her cheeks. I belong to no one." she finished sadly.
"All the more reason to be mine." he responded reaching again for her hand.
"No. I mean it Koga. I don't love you in that way. I want to be your friend, nothing more. Can't you understand…I don't want to hurt you! I can't let you go on thinking that there is something going on between us when there isn't. I told you when we met that I..."
"Loved Dog boy."he finished. "You were serious?"
She paused briefly before deciding that it was best to be honest .
"Yes."she replied.
"Have you told him?"he asked softly, his gaze breaking from hers - she had caught the hurt in his eyes, though. She knew that look. She'd seen it so many times in her own reflection when she'd rush home after seeing Kikyo being held within Inuyasha's loving embrace. He sounded heartbroken and her eyes and heart fell at the knowledge that she had been the one to do the breaking.
"Once. But it doesn't matter. We were fighting Kaguya, and afterwards we never spoke of it. That was four years ago." She answered, her head
lowered to hide her embarrassment. "I'm sorry Koga, I never wanted to hurt you…but I can't help loving him."
"Just like I can't help loving you." he murmured taking a step forward. He'd gotten the hint. He wasn't so arrogant or stupid to not be able to read the signs in her body language...but he had always hoped that, somewhere along the way, she would love him in return.
He could see it in her eyes, and hear it in the deep regret laced in her voice. Somewhere along the way he'd been preparing for this moment, but preparation would not alleviate his pain…
"I know that I'll never have you as my mate, but can I at least keep your friendship? I don't think I can just walk away with nothing." he said sadly. Her head came up then, her arms reaching to wrap themselves around his neck.
"Always." she whispered. "I would never be able to leave knowing I'd lost you as a friend. You have done so much to help us, thank you." She pulled away then, surprised when his lips met her cheek, soft and sensual, before his warm breath rustled past her ear. Had her heart not already been so completely taken by her hanyou, it may have fluttered beneath the feeling held in his gentle kiss. "I hope that he loves you as much as I do. Goodbye Kagome. "
He turned with a sad smile and sped away, leaving Kagome speechless behind him.
She stood there for a long moment, just willing her tears to subside. She hated herself in that instant: for breaking his heart, for not having had the courage to be more forceful all these years in clarifying not being his…she felt like she had led him on…Perhaps she had. It felt like a betrayal of him. The sadness she had seen in his eyes haunted her, reminding her, all to well, of the hurt she had felt every time she'd seen Inuyasha with Kikyo.
With a sigh she bent to pick up her worn yellow backpack and, head lowered, made her way onto the path leading to the village. He'd caught her on her way back from her era. She hadn't expected this. Not exactly the way she had imagined beginning the next few weeks back. Changing her direction she decided to find Inuyasha instead. Perhaps he was napping in his favourite tree.
X
Inuyasha jumped from his perch, his heart racing at the scent that hit his nose. She was back...FINALLY…But her scent receded just as suddenly as it had found him, to follow the breeze and leave him wondering how long ago she had returned.
"Damn it." he muttered. "I should have paid more attention to the direction of the wind." Raising his hand he slapped himself against the head.
"Stupid."
Making his way though the forest he began to pace himself. "Slow and steady...don't want the wench thinkin' I 'm actually glad to see her. But I am, damn it."
The next scent that met him had him growling fiercely, his legs reacting instantly.
"Fleabag..."he hissed speeding through the forest. He skidded to an abrupt halt at a most unexpected sight.
The wind blew against her back, taking with it their conversation, but not their actions. He watched, stock-still as she reached to embrace him, her body laying flush against his… his lips touched her cheek in a lovers' caress. The Wolf whispered something to her and suddenly he found that he couldn't watch their exchange any longer.
He turned and stumbled through the forest. His heart thudded painfully inside his chest and his eyes burned. What had he been thinking?
She would never want him…never find in him what she could easily find in someone else… He was a hanyou...of course she'd want someone else! He fell to his knees, his fist clenching tightly, his claws forging deep valleys into the palms of his hands…he welcomed the pain and the scent of his blood.
Anger filled him at the thought of what he had seen. THAT wolf TOUCHING what should have been HIS...HIS! HE protected her...HE watched over her
as she slept. His fist rose before pounding forcefully into the weather-hardened forest floor.
"Inuyasha? Inuyasha, what's wrong?"
Her voice was so soft, almost soothing in its gentleness…but the image of her arms holding Koga so close would not leave him.
"How could you?" he growled as he raised to his feet, his head lowered, his bangs covering his eyes.
"How could I? Inuyasha, what are you..." and suddenly she knew...He'd seen them. And he was furious.
"Inuyasha...I..."
"You held him...YOU HELD him...and he KISSED you ...And you LET him. You let him ..." he hissed.
"You don't understand Inuyasha, it's not what you think..." she whispered as she moved closer to him.
"I know what I saw Kagome." His eyes fell on her then-distant, and hurt...and so very angry.
"Let me explain..." she pleaded. "I told him that I was..."
"YOU held him DAMN IT! He KISSED you and you did NOTHING to stop him." he growled, stepping towards her.
"Inuyasha, please...you don't understand...just let me..."
"Is he what you want Kagome? Is THAT what YOU want?" He didn't give her the chance to answer. His blood beast raged. "MINE!" it howled.
"Inuyasha..."
He backed her into a tree, his body pressed against hers. He could nearly taste her fear as it rolled off of her in staggering waves. And he relished it. He could still smell him on her and it sent him over the edge. His claws buried themselves into the tree trunk on either side of her head as he watched her flinch away from him, her hand coming up defensively to clutch the necklace that had held him bound to her for so long now. One crystal tear fell from the corner of her eye, and it nearly destroyed him to see her fear him so.
He pulled away from her suddenly, his disgust in himself at what he was doing to her nearly sending him to the underbrush to relieve the heaving upset of his stomach. With a snap the necklace gave way, its beads falling carelessly upon the forest floor.
His eyes watched in shock as the tie that held them together lay broken at his feet.
Kagome shuddered in fear before it was suddenly replaced with anger...pure, unfiltered rage. In her hand lay one small fang that glistened softly against her skin.
"How dare you!" she hissed. "How dare YOU make assumptions after all that YOU have done. How many times have I found YOU in HER embrace! How
many times have YOU run off to be with HER!"
" I don't belong to YOU...YOU have NO RIGHT to be angry..."
She turned then, and grabbing her bag she ran.
Inuyasha faltered. His demon screamed to follow, but he couldn't move.
Dear Kami, what had he done?
Something silver glinted in the afternoon sun drawing his attention. Slowly he made his way to it and bending at the waist he retrieved the contraption she had always referred to as a ' CD player.'
His claws rubbed along the smooth surface, and suddenly he wondered if this would be the only reminder he'd have of her. He wondered if she would ever come back. After what he had just done, he wouldn't blame her if she didn't.
X
Two weeks...it had been two weeks since her daughter had come home crying hysterically. She refused to talk about what had upset her so, but to watch her daughter slowly withering away in her sadness was something almost as horrifying as loosing her altogether. "Oh, Inuyasha…what happened?" Kagome's mother whispered to herself watching her daughter make her way to the base of the ancient tree she loved so much.
X
Kagome stood lost, caught between her desperate desire to run straight back into his arms and the nightmares of his anger that haunted her every waking moment. She needed him, more desperately than the very air she breathed, but he hadn't come for her. Two weeks and he hadn't come for her!
She felt like she had lost her world when she'd left him. She left her heart in the feudal era and with it her desire to move forward with her life. Sometimes she thought if she stood there long enough, listened closely enough, she could hear him sigh above her. She could feel his anguish, and his pain but not his anger. It had been replaced with a deep regret. All these emotions would filter away upon the breeze as if they were never truly there at all, still…it was just enough to kill her slowly.
He didn't come for her...He didn't want her anymore…didn't need her anymore. And that was what hurt the most.
She turned and made her way back to her room, her gaze never noticing the worry etched upon her mother's face.
X
Inuyasha hadn't returned to the village since she'd left; the others had come and gone, but he had avoided their questions.
He hurt her...She feared HIM...and it was his fault. Her words echoed through his head as his claws caressed the music player she had dropped in her haste to get away from him.
" I don't belong to you." she had said. And she was right. He had never asked her to be his, never shown her that he wanted more from her than their current relationship...But what was their relationship?
He had long since acknowledged, at least to himself, that he would never leave Kagome to go to Hell with Kikyo. He would right the wrong that had been done to her...to him, but he wouldn't trade his life because of it. He knew now that he reacted so jealously because he loved Kagome...HIS Kagome…
She hadn't come back in two whole weeks, and even the foreign thing he held in his hand was beginning to lose her scent. He wished he had the words to tell her how he felt…how desperately he missed her...needed her…loved her. But he had never been good with words.
He wasn't Koga, he growled, he wasn't able to shout his undying love to anyone within hearing distance.
He had never felt so much pain, so much regret when he thought back on his treatment of her. He had never in his life been so disgusted with his actions and he knew he'd give anything...anything to tell her he was sorry...without screwing it up.
His claw nudged something soft then. Unfamiliar, odd sounds drifted from the black circles that lay tethered to the silver circle. Jumping from his tree branch he quickly pressed each of the strange buttons, learning that one would restart the strange sounds while the other moved to a different set of sounds; one button stopped the sounds altogether and the other opened the top of the strange case to reveal a spinning shiny object that slowed to a stop. He closed the case again and the same sounds that he'd heard moments before began to erupt from the black circles again, only this time he listened...really listened...
X
Slipping from the well Inuyasha made his way to her window.
Kagome sat upon her bed, her knees drawn up, her head resting upon them. In her hand rested one shiny fang, one piece of the necklace he had worn for so many years. Her hair fell around her as if sheltering her from him. Kami, how he had missed her. Her scent drifted through the window and he clutched the silver device tighter in response, his claws gouging the outer surface.
He took in her scent as he reached to place her music player upon her window sill. The wind whipped around him, and in the distance the thunder stirred bringing warning of a storm.
Pressing the play button he slipped from the window sill to the stand beneath her window.
X
Soft music caressed her ears and distantly Kagome wondered when she'd turned the radio on. Lifting her head she glanced around her room till her eyes landed upon her silver CD player. Black headphones lay atop it, and from them played a soothing melody. She reached to pick them up, and nearly dropped them upon seeing the claw marks chiselled through the CD player's metallic surface.
"Inuyasha" she breathed. Faintly, she made out the words of the song, and her heart nearly stopped.
I hope you're doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
Her tears came unbidden, streaming down her face in rivers of pain that could not be controlled...
So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear
And living without you...
Her hand came to her mouth, her gasp caught within her palm as she
nearly doubled over with the intensity the words were hitting her with.
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you
Right here by me...
She saw him then as he made his way to the well...but she couldn't move...
I can't take another day without you
'Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love...
He looked back at her then, his face drawn and sad. He was miserable...she could see it as plain as she could feel it deep within herself.
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me...
A solitary tear fell from his eye then, its sparkle being caught in the moonlight just before the sky opened up and the rain poured forth...and he turned away...
As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When your not here...
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
Everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love...
She turned then...and ran, the music left playing in her room, yet still echoing in her head...
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you
Right here by me...
Her feet pounded down the stairs bringing her mother out of her room to see what was happening...
Thunder erupted around her as she raced outside, her footsteps muffled within the storm...
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you
Right here by me...
"Inuyasha!" she screamed, her voice lost within a thunderclap...
"Inuyasha!"
He turned then, startled by her sudden appearance in his arms, her weight very nearly throwing him to the ground. Her face buried itself into his neck as his arms clutched her to him.
They were soaked to the skin, and yet they held each other, lost in the feeling of being complete.
"I'm so sorry, Kagome. I'm so, so sorry…"he muttered against her hair. "I never should have said those things...I never should have done…"
"Stop. Just stop...I told him I wasn't his woman Inuyasha...I told him goodbye…He wanted to part as friends, so I hugged him, but I swear I didn't know he would kiss me...I swear I didn't know." she said in a rush. "I told him I couldn't be his woman...because ..because...I…"
His finger came to rest upon her lips, his thumb caressing it lightly. "I love you too. Kagome...I love you too."
He kissed her then, a mind numbing, all consuming kiss that somehow made everything alright.
"Will you be mine, Kagome?" he murmured against her parted lips, his forehead resting against hers.
"I've always been yours Inuyasha...you just couldn't see it." she whispered before kissing him again-both remaining completely unaware of her Mother standing on the doorstep with tears of happiness glittering in her eyes...
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The song is done by Three Doors Down..Right Here By Me...
I hope you all liked this, though I'll never know if you don't click the purple little button...yep this one
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here.
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