TITLE: Fix You
SPOILERS: "The Skull in the Desert"
SONG: "Fix You" by Coldplay (download it if you haven't yet heard it -- it's worth it)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I've been wanting to use this song in a fic forever. Well okay, not forever, but since I first heard the song. And I've wanted to use it for several different pairings of mine: Mulder/Scully (X-Files), Doggett/Scully (X-Files), Ryan/Kirsten (The O.C.), Seth/Marissa (The O.C.), Grissom/Catherine (CSI), Booth/Brennan... and I finally landed on Hodgins and Angela. Here's hoping this fic can do a lovely song justice.
It was that summer rain. He knew that's what it had to be. It had been three months already since Kirk had been killed, and for the most part, she seemed to be getting on okay. But today there was a heavy, warm summer rain... and it was that rain that was currently bringing out the brooding, depressed side of Angela Montenegro.
Jack Hodgins was determined to find out the reason why. He spied her just outside the Jeffersonian, sitting Indian-style on the concrete sidewalk near the parking lot. Just sitting there and staring straight ahead, her arms draped across her folded legs, back hunched over just slightly. The rain was coming down heavy, practically in sheets, but she didn't move an inch. And Jack stood at the glass doors, contemplating her.
"What's your move, buddy?" The security guard asked, almost as if reading his mind.
"Huh?" Jack distractedly turned his eyes away from the heart-wrenching visual on the other side of the glass.
"You goin' out or stayin' in? The weather's not lookin' too friendly out there."
"Yeah, I know."
"You're not goin' to talk to that pretty brunette, are ya? Because she looks like she doesn't really want any company."
"I know, but she needs it." The doors opened for him and he stepped outside, immediately squinting through the rain and wishing he hadn't chosen today to wear his leather jacket.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
His sneakers splashed through the puddles already accumulating on the sidewalk as he approached from behind, careful not to startle her.
When you get what you want but not what you need
Stepping up directly beside her, he looked down and knew that she noticed his presence. She didn't acknowledge it, however, keeping her focus straight ahead. Her clothes were soaked straight through and clinging to her like second skin, and her hair was plastered to her neck and shoulders.
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, stuck in reverse
He wanted to say something but didn't know how to begin, so he just silently sat down beside her. He bent his legs at the knee and planted his feet on the pavement of the parking lot, scooting up to the curb and draping his arms over his legs. He clasped one hand over the wrist of the other and glimpsed sidelong at Angela, spotting the tear tracks on her face even through the rain. They were unmistakable.
And the tears come streaming down your face
He continued to stare until he caught her starting to turn her head. Then, he looked away, focusing his eyes straight ahead. Shapes of passing cars were barely discernible through all the rain and wondered what, if anything, she'd been staring at this whole time. She'd probably been inside her own mind, and he had an inkling that whatever she was thinking about had something to do with Kirk.
When you lose something you can't replace
Jack knew that Angela was put through an unbelievable amount of pain, though she never let on to it. When she came back, she was her normal self. She dated a new guy every week for the past three months. She went to bars and clubs on Friday nights just as she always had. She teased Brennan relentlessly about her burgeoning feelings for Booth just as she always had. She went on diatribes about lost love and soulmates without so much as growing misty or even batting an eyelash.
When you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?
But something about this rain brought out the hidden pain in Angela Montenegro. It brought out a dark, depressed side of her that Jack wanted to embrace and shelter. He felt her eyes move away from him and he slipped out of his jacket, placing it around her shoulders, still without a word passing between them.
Lights will guide you home
He felt her look over at him again and he met her eyes this time, a potent stare passing between them. Her eyes asked the question and he responded, "I'm just enjoying the lovely weather."
And ignite your bones
A puff of air escaped her lips, evidence of her disbelief, and she shook her head -- either at him or the world in general, he couldn't be sure -- before turning her eyes straight ahead once more. Hodgins scooted a little closer, wanting to mend whatever it was inside her that had broken.
And I will try to fix you
She tucked her chin briefly as she changed positions, bending her knees in front of her and clasping her hands around them. When she raised her head, she let out a breath and spoke for the first time. "The desert."
"What?" This non-sequitir furrowed Jack's brow.
"Rain like this reminds me of the desert. Arizona, and..." She trailed off and her head tilted downward again.
He nodded. Kirk.
Jack slid just inches closer until they connected from shoulder to hip. He turned his attention back to her, finding hers to be focused on the pavement, a soft smile on her face as she seemingly relived some distant memory. "Rain in the desert doesn't happen very often, but every time I was there, we'd get a rainstorm. It'd be thundering and lightning... just like now... and we'd go out and just lie on our backs in the rain."
And high up above or down below
Jack quirked a smile, envisioning what she was describing, and unconsciously slipped an arm around her shoulders.
She leaned against him and he very nearly breathed a sigh of relief.
Her voice escaped, tremulous and small, as she admitted, "I miss him, Jack," and laid her head on his shoulder.
He nodded and dropped a kiss to her saturated hair. "I know you do, babe," he whispered, letting his inner term of endearment for Angela escape.
When you're too in love to let it go
Jack had expected the sudden term of endearment to repel her. If anything, she snuggled into him further, taking solace in his embrace. "I thought I was over this. But... all this rain..."
"I know."
But if you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth
He heard her sniffle and he pulled away just slightly. Angela lifted her head at the motion and met his eyes, surprise lighting them when his hands cupped her face, thumbs wiping away the tracks where her tears had passed. He knew this effort was in vain as the rain continued to pour down onto them, but he didn't care. Comfort was what she needed, so comfort was what he would give to her.
Lights will guide you home
Her hands found his wrists and she cast her eyes to her lap, thumbs idly stroking the backs of his hands. Jack thought of a million different comforting things to say, but each one sounded all too trite.
And ignite your bones
And he wanted not just to offer words of comfort, but of affection. He wanted to tell her that he would be there for her, whenever she needed him to be... and he would back off when she didn't need him. He wanted to tell her just how often he thought of her, and how the very image of her face could send his heart and pulse soaring. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to be her 'consolation guy,' the lover and friend that would help her through her darkest times. He wanted to tell her his desire to make everything all right for her once again.
And I will try to fix you
But words failed him, as they often did. He was a bug and slime guy. He wasn't an author like Brennan or even an accomplished public speaker like Goodman was at times. Though he was an expert at picking up women, he tripped over his words when it came to true, deep feelings. What he felt for Angela was deep and true -- in the back of his mind he noted that it always had been. Through the flirting and the snark and the sparring, there was a real connection. And it wasn't a crush, as Zack often told him. He did not have a crush on Angela. Jack Hodgins was in love with Angela.
Her dark side complemented his, as did her light and whimsical side. She matched his proverbial thrust with her perry. She gave as good as she got. Their senses of humor differed and yet were perfect complements to each other. They had a matching sex drive and he couldn't remember anymore if she was beating him in the dating department. And while he was cynical, pragmatic, and prone to obsessing over conspiracies, Angela saw the good in everyone. She was a dreamer, idealistic, and had a general positive outlook. His other half, in female form.
Now his other half was hurting. And he wanted to offer words of solace, but as always she left him tongue-tied. So he did the first thing he could think of, as he held her face in his hands and studied her sorrowful sable eyes. He kissed her.
Tears stream down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace
Jack had meant it to be just a sympathetic kiss. One touch of his lips to hers, to express his sorrow for her situation. But he hadn't counted on her lips clinging to his. He hadn't counted on her face turning up to meet him, or on her hand reaching up to glide down his jawline. The rain still came down in sheets, matting his curls to his head, and the runoff skirted down the curb in a river that been soaking his shoes since he first sat down, but he didn't care.
Tears stream down your face, and I...
What started as a kiss of sadness and consolation turned quickly to something else. It turned to a kiss of mutual affection, of deeper feelings. It turned to a kiss that promised something more. In the back of his mind, Jack had a fleeting thought that she wished he was Kirk, but when she murmured his name and it floated into his mouth, that thought flew straight out of his head.
Tears stream down your face, I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
He didn't want to help her forget Kirk. Never in a million years would he want that. Jack knew Kirk would always own a large piece of Angela's heart, and though he was the slightest bit jealous of this, he wouldn't have it any other way. He would, however, learn from Kirk's mistake -- letting Angela go. This man, for three weeks a year, had Angela with him; laughing with him, eating with him, sharing a bed with him, doing everything with him. And yet every time, he let her go. Jack refused to repeat that mistake.
Tears stream down your face, and I...
He gently pulled away from her lips and hoped she would understand his need to hold on to her. Physically, mentally, emotionally -- he had to hold on to her. Angela Montenegro was the type of woman that came around once in a lifetime. And he'd spend that lifetime mending her whenever she broke.
Their foreheads connected and Jack could feel his heart thudding in his throat. "Let's get you out of the rain now," he murmured, and wrapped an arm around her waist as he helped her to stand. "You'll feel better."
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
As he led her inside with his arm around her waist and leather jacket around her shoulders, she laid her head on his shoulder and replied, "I already do."
And I will try to fix you
FINIS
MORE Author's Notes: Where are these stories and updates coming from, you ask? I really have no idea. wanderingsmith's Bones clips have played a huge part. I guess the rest can be blamed on the muse finally waking up from her nap.
Also, I've started a brand new C2 community for all things Hodgela, so to all the writers out there who are Hodgela fans -- write some Hodgela fics and I'll put them in the C2! Just make sure Hodgins and Angela are the main pairing. BB can be there (because really, who can live without the Semperance love?), but it has to take a backseat to the Hodgela love to get into the C2.