A/N: Hi…
Long time no see.
Reader: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, ERIGSTIMLOVELES? HAVEN'T BEEN ON FANFICTION FOR YEARS AND THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY?
Yea. Let's get chapter 27 started!
DOOM.
Last Chapter:
After running and running and running for near 5 minutes, Orochimaru stopped at a warehouse. He had followed Sasuke's scent to this location. He was panting and out of breath, but felt good. Orochimaru smirked, ready to take his sweetheart back from those meddling shinobi. He opened the door a crack.
"Give up now, you meddling kids!" Orochimaru shouted in the dark warehouse. "I'm so much more powerful! You should surrender my Sasuke-kun now before anyone gets hurt."
No reply.
Orochimaru frowned. "Fine! I'm coming in!"
He busted in and glared.
Then suddenly, he gasped. This was shock. He hadn't expected this at all.
"Oh my god…" Orochimaru said.
Naruto Truth or Dare Ch 27.
Orochimaru stared. This…this…this…
This was totally…
CREEPY!
At first, Orochimaru thought his eyes were deceiving him. But a better look revealed that the dark room was completely empty… except…
There was some sort of door, constructed with colorful cardboard and a plastic cut out sign that read, "SASUKE IS SORRY. PLEASE COME GET HIM, OROCHIMARU."
Orochimaru planted a hand on his hip and swiveled his head. "About time."
He began walking towards that cardboard door, but once he stepped through the entrance, a trap door beneath him gave way and he slipped, falling…
"HOT BUNS! WHAT IS THIS?" He yelped, but continued to fall into darkness.
He landed with a thump, on some wooden cart-like thing. He rubbed his head and looked around. The place around him looked like a cave or something, with tracks that looked like rails.
"Sasuke-kun? Where are you?" Orochimaru crowed, looking around. Scary place… "Hmm… looks like my sex cave at home." He commented.
"Sex cave?" Another voice asked, curiously.
"Gaara, shush! We talked about this!" A voice that sounded like Temari said.
"OH GEEZ, SORRY." Gaara replied.
Orochimaru looked around and growled. "Ok, who's there?" He tried to get out of the cart, but suddenly, a candle-light shined in the distance. Some freaky carnival music began to play…
Orochimaru raised a surprised brow. Suddenly, the wagon/cart thing he was sitting in began to move, creaking forward on the rails. "What's going on?" He asked, stunned. The cart moved towards the light.
"Hello. Welcome to, The Wonderful Land of Wildest Dreams." A voice said gloomily, at the entrance of the candle-light cave. The figure wore a mask and a cloak, holding a brightly colored lamp in his hand. The red hair behind the mask suggested that it was Gaara.
A female and another male figure appeared behind him, making "welcoming" noises…
"Ooooooooooooooh-glaaaaaaa…" The female crooned.
"Wildesssssssssssssstttttt dreeeeeeaaaaaaams…" The male said.
"Oooooooooooooh-glaaaaa!"
"Willllllddeeeeessssst dreeeeeeams!"
"Oooooooooooooh-glaaaaa!"
"Willllllddeeeeessssst dreeeeeeams!"
"CUT IT OUT!" Gaara screamed, taking off his mask and throwing it at Temari and Kankurou.
"OK SORRY GEEZ." Gaara's siblings both shouted.
"Ahem." Orochimaru said.
"Oh oh…" Gaara said and put his mask back on. "Uh, please enter the cave. You will find Sasuke inside waiting!"
The cart began moving forward again, towards another cave room that was glowing with sparkly lights. Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, curiously wondering what was inside.
"Erigstimloveles." Gaara said.
U-uh, yes? Gaara, we're in the middle of the story, make this quick…
"You still haven't explained you disappearing for months." Gaara said.
Hey, whoa now. You're totally breaking the 4th wall. Stop it, it's my story, man. I'm the author. I can do things to this story, ok? For example…
Gaara grew a tail.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Gaara cried, examining his very colorful and fluffy tail.
Heh heh. Yea, Gaara. You want to question the author now?
Gaara glared. "Sand coffin…" He said and clutched his hands together.
YEUUUACK.
…
Just kidding, I'm ok. I'm the author remember? Totally fine! (Chi: You're definitely not ok.)
What was that, Chi?
Ok, moving on…
Anyways, Orochimaru entered the cave, seeing the odd stage next to him. It reminded him of Disney rides…
"Hi hi~ My name is Princess Sakura!" A pink-haired girl said happily, wielding a plastic wand and wearing a ridiculous cupcake dress. She appeared from her "castle", a crudely set up cardboard building, surrounded by more cardboard buildings, all painted bright colors.
It was like the set of a play.
"Yes, and we're—" More voices sounded.
"Her knights in shining armor!" Simultaneous voices cried, popping out from another castle building. It was Kiba and Shino. Except they didn't simultaneously say it. It was more like just Kiba.
How are you guys, by the way? Well?
(Voice: Get on with the story!)
Goddamn… No patience for the author…
"If you wish to see Sasuke, please enter through the 2nd door!" Kiba, the knight said and waved Orochimaru towards the 2nd door.
"Oh. Thanks." Orochimaru said and waved a hand.
The cart moved forward towards the second door…
"OH NO, WAIT." Kiba cried.
"What?" Orochimaru's head spun around.
"THE 1ST DOOR, 1ST DOOR, SORRY." Kiba cried. "THE 2ND DOOR IS MY CHEESE ROOM COLLECTION!"
"OK, ENOUGH." Princess Sakura shouted.
"E-er… 1st door?" Orochimaru asked, unsure.
"Yea…" Kiba said, sulking like a little boy and crossed his arms, pouting. "Meanie Sakura…"
The cart continued to move, this time towards the 1st door.
"Why is your cheese collection in here anyways?" Sakura whispered.
"Hey, whoa! Whoa now!" Kiba cried. "Last time I checked, this was America."
Blink blink.
"We're in Japan, stupid." Shino muttered.
"CRACK IS WHACK. ABSTINENCE IS KEY." Kiba shouted.
Let's move in. I mean—on. Heh heh. What's become of me and my writing skills? (Insert insult)
…
Naah, it's alright. (waves)
Orochimaru's cart entered the 1st door now, where no light at all could be seen. The cart kept moving and he relaxed a little. Maybe this room had nothing inside?
But suddenly, he felt someone grope him.
"OH MY JUMPING PINEAPPLES, THE HELL WAS THAT?" Orochimaru shrieked.
Heh heh, sorry, Orochi-kun. That was me, the author.
"You know, you've been prying a lot on the chapter today." He grunted.
Hey, I can't help it! I haven't been writing this in so long! I'm lonely…
"Uugh. Ok fine." He continued. "STOP TOUCHING ME."
Heh heh…
The door in front opened and out spilled lights, glitter and a beautiful background. The bunch of people were dancing on the stages around Orochimaru. They wiggled, strutted, mingled and hustled. (What is this, the 70's?)
"Hey Orochi, baby!" A figure dancing that strikingly resembled Gai said. "You're lookin' for Sasuke, aren't you?" He struck a pose.
Orochimaru cringed.
"Yea yea, bitchin'!" Ino piped in. "Maybe the force be with you! Far out! Trippin!"
Ok, enough 70's stuff.
"This is getting ridiculous! Where's Sasuke-kun?" Orochimaru asked, angry that he was being sent through so many twists and turns through the bizarre side-show of freaks.
But this time, the door he was sent through revealed the end to the rail tracks of his cart. It stopped at a shiny stage, with a single spotlight on it. Orochimaru looked around nervously. This was the end of his trip. So where was Sasuke, his darling?
"Sasuke-kun? Did you send me here? Did you miss our sex cave? Is that why you built this elaborate set?" Orochimaru bit his lip.
"Sex cave?" Another voice asked curiously.
…
"Hinata? You too?" Someone asked incredulously. (EGS: Wow. Look at me, using verbose language. Heh heh. Am I cool now?)
Gaara's voice could be heard, even in the farthest room away. "God, glad to see someone appreciates a good sex cave! God!"
Hinata shrugged.
But at center stage, no one appeared yet. Orochimaru looked around, getting pissed off, angry, frustrated, scared and caffeinated. He had a large coffee this morning. (?)
"OK, THAT'S IT. IF I DON'T SEE WHAT'S GOING ON NOW, I'M GONNA BLOW—"
"BLOW?" Gaara yelled.
"—Blow this place to bits…" Orochimaru finished.
"Oh. OH. Blow this place to bits! Oh, oh yea! That's what I thought—you were… Yea yea…" Gaara fumbled and nodded, as if that was what he was thinking. "Get my hopes up…" He grumbled, so that no one heard what he said.
"What?"
"Nothing!" Gaara replied. "I love you…" He whimpered super-quietly.
Orochimaru looked around. Suddenly, a curtain that was dimmed earlier could be seen. A silhouette of a figure in a seductive pose appeared behind the thin sheet and Orochimaru gasped.
"Sasuke-kun, is that you?" Orochimaru asked.
The curtain dropped…
And…
Orochimaru's eyes bugged out. "Oh. My. LAWORD."
End Chapter.
HELLZ YEA. HELLZ, YEA, I FINISHED THIS CHAPTER. OH SNAP OH SNAP OH SNAP. OWCH! (That was me, spraining my neck from excessive celebration.)
Anyways, I can't apologize enough for my delays. Heh heh, I can't really say much. But, after reading through the reviews of this story, I've grown nostalgic and thought to myself…
Since you worked so hard and you're almost done, just finish it for God's sake.
So yea. While sitting on a couch, the World Cup on TV, a bottle of Orange Crush soda beside me… I sat down and wrote out this entire chapter.
Also, I apologize. My humor has… gotten dry? Well, I'm just no longer seriously kiddish enough (or stupid enough) to crap my dumb jokes anymore. Ahem. I like more mature things now? Catch my drift?
(Voice: You're disgusting!)
AND WE MOVE ON. I'LL GET THE NEXT CHAPTER DONE, OK? BYE. LOVE YOU GUYS. MISSED YOU. PLEASE REVIEW.