A/N: I was bored and decided to write a random fanfic. Is it random enough?

Not Again…

"Hey, Galinda!" Elphaba called to her friend, waving.

"It's Glinda in this fic. No GA!" Glinda (without a GA) yelled back.

"CUT!" said the fanfic author. "Take 5…"

"Only five?" groaned Glinda.

"… Hours," the author finished. "I have to work on my RENT fic."

Somewhere in the world that the characters live in, there were groans.

Elphaba, Glinda, Boq, Nessa (who could mysteriously walk before the Wicked Witch of the East scene), and Fiyero, however, were jumping for joy.

They headed into the happy place where fanfic characters live in peace until authors needed them again.

"Man, tiring fic today, huh?" said Glinda to her friend.

"Of course it was! We were fucking each other the whole damn thing!" Elphaba growled.

"You two had it bad?" the guys argued. "We both got our hearts broken!"

"And I cheated on both of them with my sister's son, who miraculously is in a fic while we're at Shiz!" Nessa complained.

"Ooo, you hooked up with Liir?" asked Elphaba. "Why? He's fat and ugly."

"Yeah, wanna make something of it?"

"No, I'm good."

Randomly and for no reason at all, the WICKED characters were dragged into the fanfic author's RENT story.

"WOW! I HAVE A SECRET TWIN!" Maureen squealed, throwing her arms around Elphaba.

"Dying… dying…"

"Sorry. Can we cut? I'm sick of being all, OH MY GOD YOU LOOK LIKE ME, in these stories!"

"THANK YOU, MAUREEN!"

Meanwhile, Roger and Fiyero were fighting.

"I'm hotter!" Fiyero said.

"You're a scarecrow! I'm hotter!" Roger argued.

"MY ROGER!" said Mark, tackling Roger.

"NO!" screamed both Mimi and April (who was miraculously alive), pouncing on Roger.

"Am I a scarecrow in this fic?" Fiyero wondered.

"Am I dead?" wondered Nessa.

"Am I lesbian?" wondered Maureen.

"Am I alive?" said Liir. "Am I an idea?"

"Let's stop asking rhetorical questions and get on with the fic. Once and for all, Roger is with MIMI! Sorry, Mark, I still love you. You can have Glinda. How does that sound?" the fanfic author said.

Glinda giggled and waved at Mark.

Mark started making out with Glinda.

"Okay then…" said the author, who I am randomly naming Bob Jones (even though she's a girl). "Maureen, you and Joanne are still together. Nessa and April, both of you are dead. Sorry."

Nessa and April disappeared into the FanFic World.

"Liir, you are currently somewhere else screwing Candle and taking care of your green daughter named Elphaba."

"Why is Liir's daughter always named after me?" groaned Elphaba.

"And Fiyero, you are a scarecrow. I still think you're hot, though. But Roger's hotter," said Bob Jones.

Fiyero glared at Roger.

"Hey, people!" said a random original character. "BENNY YOU ARE ONE SEXY BEAST!" she yelled, and she ran off to screw Benny.

"Right," said Bob Jones. "I don't own anything!" She grabbed a megaphone. "ALRIGHT! CHAPTER ONE! LET'S GET GOING!"

No one moved.

"Fanfics suck. Let's go get drunk," said Collins, pulling out a bottle of vodka (or 10… or 20… thousand).

"YES!" shouted everyone.

So everyone ended up drunk and/or high off of Mimi's stash.

Boq looked around. "Why am I always single?"

Angel hiccupped and ran over. "I'll screw you…"

"NO! MY ANGEL! I DETEST PEOPLE HOOKING ANGEL UP WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME!" said Collins, beating up Boq.

Ed Green from Law & Order randomly barged into the fanfic. "I'm looking for my identical twin…"

"Poor Collins," said Maureen and Elphaba in unison.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Collins. "NOT THE CREEPY LAW & ORDER GUY WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME!"

"I'm also looking for my twin," said Lilly (from The Devil Wears Prada).

"NO!" yelled Joanne. "Not me, too!"

"Excuse me," said Tracie Thoms to Joanne and Lilly, "I am just the actress that plays both of you. That doesn't make you twins."

"Hey," said Jesse L. Martin to Collins and Ed, "that's just because I play both of you, ok?"

"The same goes for you two," said Idina Menzel to Maureen and Elphaba.

"NO!" yelled Saran VD. "MY COMPUTER DOES NOT RECOGNIZE IDINA'S NAME! THE HORRORS!"

Idina, Jesse, Collins, Joanne, Lilly, Tracie, Bob Jones, Benny, the random original character that was screwing Benny, Elphaba, Ed, Angel, Liir, Nessa, April (who were both randomly back watching the chaos), Maureen, Candle, Elphaba Jr., Roger, Mark, Boq, Fiyero, and Glinda all stared at Saran VD. "Who the hell are you?" they all asked in perfect unison.

"I'm a fanfic writer," she replied.

Everyone stared at her and ran away to FanFic World.

And so ends a story that wasn't really a story…