A/N YES! IT IS ME, THE AMAZING LADY CHARITY! FEAR ME, FOR MY SUMMONED DAEMONS SHALL CONQUER YOU! MUAHAHAHA! (spell fizzles) uh oh...
HAVE MERCY!
Legolas: climb up on the car, Aragorn, we're gonna be late!
Aragorn: WAIT! I GOTTA FIND MY SHAMPOO!
Eowyn: It's over here; I got it. Your shampoo is the Strawberry and Cream, right?
Legolas: That's mine, you idiot!
Arwen: and mines the blueberry and cream, don't forget that, Eowyn!
Eowyn: Then Aragorn's is (pulls out a bottle from her suitcase) this one, right?
Aragorn: YOU TOOK MY PEACHES AND CREAM SHAMPOO!!!
Galadriel: Now don't fight you two!
Faramir: who's driving the car?
Legolas: I will.
Zoom(Setting: on the airplane going to Canada)
Faramir: Eowyn, you don't look good, sweetie-moochie-poo.
Eowyn: (hurls into bag air pilots provide and steals Faramir's)
Legolas: Aragorn! Your foot is on me.
Aragorn: (yawn) sorry, but when you're sleeping it's hard to control your body parts.
Galadriel: I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me Aragorn, Arwen…
Arwen: Ouch! You stepped on me!
Galadriel: sorry sweetie
Aragorn: calm down, Arw- (does not continue, is too tired and sleeps)
Pippin: I'm soooo hungry. When's dinner coming?
Frodo: not till a long while, pip. It's only three PM!
Boromir: who's up for some arm wrestling??
Faramir: Oh, fine, I'll do it
Faramir and Boromir: (push each other's arms, grunt grunt)
Boromir: I win!
Faramir: no kidding. (Goes back to sleeping)
Merry: so how long have we been on here?
Frodo: erm, about ten hours or less
Pippin: if only we could go faster…
Galadriel: I'm back from the bathroom. I saw the food trolley coming our way.
Pip: O good, I'm, like, so totally, like, starving.
Merry: Yeah, it's best if we don't keep him starving. (Leans over and whispers to Frodo) he's really psycho if he doesn't eat.
Food Trolley person: Hello, first class passengers! Today you have a selection of sea cucumber, cow tongue, and chicken legs.
Merry: I think I'll pass for this time.
Gandalf: same
Legolas: I'll just eat that corned beef sandwich I packed…
Aragorn: I'm so hungry, might as well take the tongue.
Arwen: I'll share with him.
Hobbits: I'll pass.
Boromir: same
Faramir: same
Eowyn: What I'm worrying is what the third class people get if we're in first.
Food Trolley Person: who says they get food?
Finally off the plane and in Montreal, Canada!
Legolas: (comes back from the car-and-cottage renting building) Ok, we're gonna take the mini van, 'cause it's cheaper.
Galadriel: I'll drive.
Arwen: what's our cottage called?
Legolas: they said it's called the Neptune Cottages. I think it's really nice. I heard there is a lake next to it. I think that's lake Ontario. Close to the beach.
Aragorn: nice
(Everyone piles into the van)
Faramir: AAAA! It's too crowded in here. Are you all right, Eowyn?
Eowyn: I'm fine, Faramir (rolls eyes)
Galadriel: put on your seatbelts.
(While driving)
Pippin, Merry, and Frodo, singing: We'll be coming around the mountains when we come!!!
Boromir: Yeeha!
PMF: we'll coming around the mountains when we come!!!
Faramir: Yeeha!
Eowyn: would you PLEASE stop it? You're driving me carsick.
Legolas: Galadriel! That was a red light!
Galadriel: No, it was green.
Legolas: red!
Galadriel: Green!
(They both quarrel and stop, seeing they are so far from the streetlights anyways)
Galadriel: Arwen, do we turn left?
Arwen: Right!
(Galadriel turns right)
Arwen: Nana! You're supposed to turn left!
Galadriel: you said right!
Arwen: I meant, "Right, turn left!"
Galadriel: that's too confusing! From now on say 'correct'!
Arwen: only corny people say that!
Galadriel: (rolls eyes) that means Aragorn is corny, he says correct.
Arwen: (blushes)
(At the cottage)
Legolas: Oh my word, FINALLY.
Aragorn: This is a nice cottage. Rather modern, an upstairs, three bedrooms upstairs with queen sized beds and one at floor level, very bright, I like it.
Eowyn: I wanna sleep with Faramir on the floor level; it looks prettier. I mean, this curtain is so the fash!
Legolas: I'll sleep with Boromir then, on the prettiest top floor.
Aragorn: I HAVE DIBS ON ARWEN IN THE BIGGEST ROOM!!!
Arwen: That's a bit selfish, Aragorn.
Galadriel: Don't worry dear; with me sleeping with the hobbits, we don't need the biggest room.
Frodo: I wanna go to the beach.
All Hobbits: B-E-A-C-H, B-E-A-C-H, BEACH!!!
Boromir: all right, all right, we'll go, gather all your stuff.
(At the beach with the ol' lake of Ontario)
Arwen: eeew, there's DEAD LADYBUGS ALL SCATTERED AROUND HERE!!!
Eowyn: totally gross.
Faramir: I love your bikini, Eowyn.
Eowyn: (tiptoes through the beach that is infested with dead ladybugs-literally) Isn't there another beach, Legolas?
Legolas: Well, there is. But it isn't really a beach. You can swim in the water and…Oh, why don't we just go there?
Arwen: Gladly.
(At the other beach. It is very beautiful but it is peaked, sort of. I mean that it has rocks than sand, but nevertheless, all of the loved it.)
Hobbits: GEROMINO! (Cannonballs into water)
Eowyn: Gosh! You made me all wet!
Arwen: that's the whole point of a beach.
Aragorn: Come in the water, Arwen! It's lovely!
Arwen (shakes her head and smiles and returns to sunbathing)
Eowyn: Faramir, what's that in your hand?
Faramir: (holds up oyster)
Eowyn smiles and stands up. But she slips on wet rock and tumbles down, down, down… her head hits a rock and is unconscious into the water.
Faramir: EOWYN!!!!!
Legolas rushes to get a stretcher. Faramir dives into the water to retrieve his lover. Carries the limp body of Eowyn up.
Legolas: (dressed in nurse clothing with a stretcher on wheels) Ok, Faramir, the hospital would be at the upstairs bedroom, people to wait would be in the living room, Aragorn and Arwen, go get some atheles!
Legolas rushes to get Eowyn to the 'hospital'. The visitors run into the living room where they find a receptionist that Legolas had quickly hired, Frodo.
Frodo: Good morning. We would like the visitors to sign their names on this piece of paper, please and who you would want to visit soon.
Faramir: Frodo, this ain't a joke.
Frodo: Legolas said he wanted this to be organized.
Faramir: Frodo, snap out of it! Let's all just visit Eowyn.
Frodo: but, but I'm getting paid one dollar per thirty minutes!!
Meanwhile…
Arwen: (picks atheles) Come on Aragorn! Work faster.
Aragorn: wheeze
They both rush their packages of atheles to Legolas.
Legolas: Thank you for the plants.
Legolas grinds the atheles till it is soft and places it on Eowyn's head. Then he bandages her head with the atheles under it.
Arwen: Would she be ok?
Legolas: No doubt that her injuries are large, but she'll be all right. I think it might shrink her head though.
Aragorn: She needs it.
I shall hypnotize you...
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you WILL review this story...