Okay, I know this concept totally implausible, but I liked the idea and I tried to keep Jack in character. It would take place awhile after the movies end, obviously.

The Babysitter

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"Thank you so much, Jack!" Elizabeth called back to the dazed captain as she and Will quickly pulled on their coats and left the house.

"Yes, well, no problem then…" Jack watched the door shut. He looked over at the baby in the cradle and then at the nice house he stood in. "Well, as long as it's just you and me, uh, what was your name, again?" He asked the baby, as it looked up at him, wide-eyed. "Well, I suppose we'll just call you Jack. It's what you should have been named…" Jack informed the child as he walked out of the main living room of the semi-large house and into the parlor. "Now, the rum…" Jack looked around for a moment, murmuring to himself. "She probably threw it all out." He made his voice high and copied Elizabeth's, "Oh, Will, this foul beverage should be thrown to the dogs. Oh, Will, let's go and but me a new dress. Oh, Will, let's strand Jack Sparrow in our house without any blasted rum!" He ended on a yell and noticed, having checked all the empty cabinets in the parlor, that he was now in the kitchen. "How on earth can someone need some many bloody pans!" He demanded before he looked up to see a little girl standing in the kitchen by the back door. "Oh." Jack watched the girl, bobbing his head back and forth to take her in. She was around four, with brown hair and brown eyes. She wore a little dress. "You wouldn't, by any chance know where the rum is, would you?" He asked and the little girl spoke in a very demeaning voice for such a young age.

"Mummy says that rum is a foul beverage that can turn even the nicest men into swine." She recited and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Of course she does." He grunted.

"Why are you in our house?" She asked and Jack examined her more closely.

"Well," Jack obtained a talk-to-children voice and squatted down to her level. "Your mummy and daddy don't love you anymore, so they are off to find a new little girl. Now, do you know if daddy keeps any rum?" Jack asked, smiling. The little girl gave a whimper, then burst into tears and tore passed Jack into the living room. Jack let his shoulders drop and stood to follow her in the other room, grunting. "I hate women."

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Reviews? Did it suck or was it cool? Unsigned welcome…