Warning: Contains spoilers for 'In my time of dying', the first episode of the new season, and after.

Authors note: It's not really a chapter, just a short add on. A companion piece of sorts to Coming to an Understanding. Of course this is my version of how they are going to get rid of John.

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Dean knows. At least his head does, his heart, well that's a different matter. It's not real, not to Dean. How could his father be dead? No it's easier to believe he's out hunting and just out of touch. After all isn't that the way it's been for the last year or so. Dean calls and leaves a message and John doesn't respond. Business as usual.

Dean forgets sometimes and calls his father for real. Its weeks later, stuff is happening, and he wants his fathers advice. He flips open his phone and hits redial like he's done so many times before. The minute he hears his father's voice it's an instant crushing reminder of what he lost and what he will never have again. He feels the overwhelming ache in his heart when he closes the phone and stuffs it back in his pocket. He looks around to see if Sam caught his mistake and sees Sam turned the other way.

But Sam did see. He watches his brother out of the corner of his eye. He has since the day he caught Dean making a phone call when he thought Sam was out of the room. Sam knows who he is calling, he checked Dean's call log one day. They're all to their Dad. He wants to believe Dean does it just to hear his father's voice on the message and it pains him to see Dean's disappointment every time he puts down his phone. He knows Dean realizes their father is dead. He figures Dean's just having a hard time coming to terms with it so Sam doesn't say a word. Neither does Dean.

Business as usual. No chick flick moments.

But Sam knows the truth. He knows what his father did to keep his brother alive. He promised his father and he meant it. Dean will never find out that their father is alive, possessed once again by the demon. That's the price John willingly paid to bring Dean back from the edge and worth every day of it since.

Sam's price is the bear the burden of the secret he will never tell Dean.

The load gets heavier every time he sees Dean pick up the phone.

He wants to end Dean's pain. He wants to tell him the truth. He wants to unburden his soul. He knows his father is right.

If Dean found out what his father did for him he would move heaven and hell to go after John and get rid of the demon once and for all. Sam knows his father is not willing to chance that he might not be able to stop the demon next time. He knows it's safer this way, for everyone, even if it's more painful. Though he doesn't approve of his fathers methods he understands why. Dean is to be protected at all costs. It's a price he and John are both willing to pay.

They owe Dean that much.

The End

Authors note: You know if this really does happen and Dean's finds out Sam's been keeping it a secret, I think we're gonna see them split up for awhile. Oh the angst we would get out of that episode.

If they really do kill John off, maybe Dean will see his ghost every now and then and think he was going crazy. Hmmmmmmm, might be a fic in there somewhere. Thanks for reading.