Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and all its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. This Fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended. Go on, just rub it in our faces. Making us write disclaimers just to remind us of what we can't have. Meanies.
Heya guys! Back with a new story. Hope you enjoy it, I know I had fun writing this chapter.
"Here we are on P3X-31niner and might I just say what a beautifully dull planet this is already turning out to be. If you look to your left, you will notice the rather fetching color green, and if you turn to your right, you will see a similar, but not quite the same, shade of green. I can feel the excitement building for this mission, folks. Can you just feel the tension? The nervous apprehension? No? Thank God, for a moment there I thought I was losing my touch-"
"Sir?" Carter interrupted finally. Jack looked up from studying his boots while he walked; after all they were the most interesting things to look at on this planet…except Carter. However, the Colonel thought it wise to limit the viewing time on that one.
"Yeah?" he asked grumpily. It wasn't that he was particularly annoyed with anything and especially not with Sam. He just really didn't want to be there.
He was bored.
He was tired.
But most of all, he was itchy.
Right in the middle of his back.
You know that place where you can't reach no matter how much you distort your body or make a fool of yourself trying. It was untouchable and really, really frustrating.
"Wasn't an unusually long introduction to the planet, Jack?" Daniel asked, "Because I can't remember a time before you started that speech,"
"Oh, ha, ha, very funny, Daniel," Jack said sarcastically, "Go and… play with your rocks."
"No rocks, Jack," Daniel said sadly. His stature visibly drooped enough to make his glasses slip further down his nose.
"No rocks?" Jack asked with mock surprise.
"No," Daniel was sulking.
"Not even a settlement?"
"No." Oh, he was definitely pouting now. It was a sorry sight to see. Really depressing. "Don't pretend you care," Daniel said angrily.
Jack frowned and considered showing some sympathy then reconsidered. "Okay, I won't," he said happily and took the lead.
The planet was fairly cool. It was the evening and the sun was very low on the horizon, casting an orange glow over the meadow they found themselves in.
"Okay kids, let's head for the cover of those trees and set up camp for the night," Jack ordered, "We're not going to get anything done in this light."
It was a beautiful time of day to take a walk. The sun gave the grass a sparkle in the evening dew and the breeze ruffled their hair and clothing. Sam looked especially angelic in the evening sun, making her hair and eyes shine and twinkle. She looked beautiful.
Pete was a lucky guy.
Boy was that a smack in the face. He had told her to get a life but Pete was just…unexpected. He meant…knitting…or something…
"Hey Jack! Look!" Well, Daniel had definitely perked up. Jack turned his head away from Sam to see what had got the archaeologist so excited and to his dismay was greeted with the sight of a tent.
That wasn't there before…was it?
However, this was no normal tent. This tiny tent was purple. Beads were scattered over its surface and pink smoke billowed from a hole in the roof. It looked like a phoney mystic's tent. He half expected there to be a sign above the door: 'Come and have your future told by Madame Mystique, only five bucks a turn!'.
"Jack!" Daniel said reproachfully.
Oops, did he say that out loud?
"We should check it out, sir," Carter said cautiously, eyeing the pink smoke as if it had mortally offended her.
"Yes…" Jack sighed, "I suppose." He himself wasn't quite sure of this lodging. It was too…puffy.
Oh, well. There went his dream of a quiet mission.
"Daniel!" he yelled as the younger man approached the door. Jack could tell from the innocent look on Daniel's face that he was ready to just walk in and throw caution to the wind. That guy was going to give Jack a heart attack one day.
"What?" Daniel asked, bemused.
"You worry him, child," A frail and beaten voice sounded from the cloaked doorway of the fragrant tent. Candlelight flickered from inside, casting an iridescent silhouette on the thin veil that acted as the door. A hunched figure with bony fingers slowly parted the thin curtains with shaking hands and peered at them all over crudely made spectacles.
The old woman smiled, her grin pushing at her sunken cheeks and squeezing shut already half-closed eyes. Wrinkles cracked the skin around her eyes and nose, wizening her appearance and deepening her laughter lines. She was leaning heavily on a gnarled branch that Jack assumed was her walking stick and fine clothes and silks littered with charms and beads flowed over her aged body.
"Good evening, ma'am," Jack greeted her with a touch of his cap.
"Good evening, sir," she responded properly with a laugh and a small curtsey. "Come, come! In! Out of the cold!" she barked her orders and waved a ring encrusted hand at them. "Don't let the food go to waste now!" she called over her shoulder as she shuffled back into the small tent.
SG-1 looked at each other in confusion then eyed the tiny tent. It was hardly big enough to hold the small woman let alone SG-1…including Teal'c
"All of us?" Jack asked nobody in particular. Teal'c just raised his right eyebrow, Daniel raised his left, Carter did both and even added a sigh while Jack waggled his own in mystification. It was the SG-1 eyebrow dance of perplexity. Jack cleared his throat and gave a pointed look at Carter. "Ladies first," he waved his hand out towards the tent and gestured for her to go in front.
She narrowed her eyes at him but did what he said and stomped off towards the opening of the minuscule tent, mumbling angrily under her breath. She crouched down so she was about the same height as the old woman and pulled back the curtain with the tip of her P-90.
"Oh, wow," she breathed and went straight in.
"Well, are the rest of you coming? Or will I have to feed all this food to this lovely lady! Hmm?" Came the old woman's shout.
"It's okay, sir," Sam called from inside, "Plenty of room,"
The three men of SG-1 all shared another look until Daniel shrugged his shoulders and took a step towards the door and went inside. Teal'c followed and left Jack on his own outside, wondering how something so small could fit four of them in. Widening his eyes and breathing out slowly he pulled back the veil in front of the doorway and was immediately hit with the most sickly sweet smell he'd ever encountered. It invaded his nose and filled his head until he felt his eyes water.
He blinked several times as he adjusted to the smell and then peered around a very, very large room.
"Holy crap, it's a Tardis!"
I know everyone says this but I NEED reveiws. I really do want to improve the quality of my writing so it is more enjoyable for everyone but I can't do that unless you guys tell me what you think. Even if it's bad. I can take it. Really.