WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO

Summary: The musings of a pregnant River Tam as she looks back on her time so far on Serenity, its eclectic crew and the man she fell for.

Pairings: Mainly Jayne/River, with a little Mal/Inara, Simon/Kaylee and Wash/Zoë.

Rating: Anywhere from PG to R.

Time Frame: The 'present day' of the story is set a few years after Miranda, but flashbacks will show times directly after the film, during the series and even before the series.

Notes: This is technically all one story, but it is not a linear one. It's a series of stories threaded together by River's point of view and (often unique) opinions. Each story will tell us a little something about River or the person/relationship she's pondering. It will be a twelve part series. Also, this story previously had the working title 'Remember When'.

-O-

Part 1

Simon and River

It was midnight and Serenity was sleeping. River was not.

She quickly escaped from her room, her bare feet soundless. She threw a glance over her shoulder at the figure she left sleeping behind her. Usually, when River got itchy feet and found the need to wander the ship, staving off insomnia, he would wake up. He wouldn't wake tonight though. Contrary to what most believed, Jayne was not always a heavy sleeper.

River fluttered onto the bridge and stared out at the black. She breathed deeply, almost as if the stars and the space and the endlessness had a scent and she could smell it. And she could. She ran a fond hand over the fluffy woollen cover than Wash had put on the pilot's chair long before she'd ever known about Serenity, about this life. Long before he would die. River knew that he had liked the odd but comforting look the sheep-skin cover gave the chair. He'd liked that it was his chair and he could decorate it as he deemed fit. That in a ship that wasn't his, at least something was.

River sank into the chair that was still Wash's, and gazed out into the abyss, letting it swallow her up. She would have pulled her knees up to her chest as she usually did, but these days that was inconvenient – and quite impossible really.

River's pregnant belly was nothing but a slight, almost imperceptible bump to the casual observer, especially in the baggy nightdress she was wearing. But she knew better, as did Serenity's family. River was very much with child, a child that Serenity was supposed to welcome in just over four months, if Simon was right. And he wasn't. This baby was destined for an early, unexpected arrival, but River just wasn't quite sure when this arrival would be.

River and Jayne's baby wouldn't be the first to be birthed aboard Serenity.

Almost two years ago, Zoë had brought Hoban Washburne the Second into the world – in the middle of a meteor shower no less. It had been a chaotic day to say the least. While he was being born, River had been weaving her way through the onslaught, with Jayne shouting unhelpfully over her shoulder, much like a backseat driver from Earth-That-Was. Mal had been alternating between panicking on the bridge about the meteor shower, to panicking hysterically in the infirmary about Zoë's labour. Simon had played midwife for only the second time in his career, but everything had gone well.

Kaylee and Inara had been everyone's saving graces. Inara had aided Simon and had kept Mal calm, for he had been the one having the biggest mental breakdown that day. And Kaylee, she had worked her jiggery-pokery down in the engine room to help River evade the meteors threatening to end not only their lives, but Zoë's son's life — before it had even begun.

Hobie, or Junior as he was known to Zoë and Mal, was a driving force on the ship, even at the tender age of one and three-quarters. With smooth dusky skin and spiky black hair, he had Zoë's pouty lips and Wash's quizzical frown. He was stubborn and brave to a fault, and then funny and tender seconds later. River could only hope that her child turned out to be such a balanced mixture of mother and father.

She wondered if this baby would have any brothers and sisters. If the happy mistake that this baby was would lead to other planned happy mistakes. Would she and Jayne bring an entire little family to the good ship Serenity? River sighed melancholically. She didn't know if she wanted more, all she knew was what the quiet comfort of having a sibling to protect you felt like. Simon had always been watching over her, ever since he'd been a five year old whose life had been rudely invaded by a screaming, unnaturally intelligent infant.

Simon had saved River's life so many times. And River had saved Simon's life just as many times too.

In the last few years, she'd saved her older brother in battles on and off Serenity. Sometimes, he'd been playing the part of high-flying Core businessman and gotten caught up in the brawl… but mostly, he'd simply gotten in the way inadvertently when he should've been elsewhere. And when the gun was out of reach, and his fists couldn't help, and there was no one around to save him… River saved him.

It had been a beautiful shock then to discover one day that someone else had saved Simon. It had been on a planet side day, their last of a three day pit stop. Zoë and her son had stayed with the ship, while Jayne, Mal and Simon had set about meeting a new contact in a local bar. River and Kaylee had gone shopping for pretties for themselves, and then gone shopping for pretties for Serenity in the scrap yard.

In the midst of the metal and the mess, River had suddenly realised that someone she loved had been shot…

-O-

The silence in the infirmary was deafening. Jayne was steadfastly refusing to meet Simon's eyes. Instead he stared down at his shoulder as Simon's hands made quick work of the bullet wound. Every now and then, Simon would glance up as he stitched the injury, trying to catch Jayne's gaze, but to no avail. Jayne was an irritatingly stubborn man.

Finally, Simon backed away and discarded his bloody gloves. "All patched up. Those stitches should be fine, as long as you don't strain your shoulder. No lifting weights for a few weeks— and definitely no getting into fights."

"Yeah, yeah," Jayne muttered. "I can still shoot with the other damn arm."

Simon stared up at Jayne as he fussed over getting into the new shirt Zoë had dropped in to him. "Look… Jayne…"

Jayne, without bothering to look up, cut him off right at that. "I'd really like to avoid any touchy feely moments o' gratitude 'n' weepin' here Doc," he said sternly, hissing as he eased into the t-shirt.

Simon nodded vigorously and held his hands up in understanding. "Of course! I agree whole-heartedly. I'd like to avoid any kind of weeping also. Not to say I'm not thankful, I am… just— why did you do it?"

Jayne sighed heavily, almost as if Simon were a very stupid child. Simon recognised that sigh. He heard it from River almost daily— often followed by her classic 'boob' comment.

Jayne looked at Simon squarely. "I only meant to push ya outta the damn way. I never meant t'actually take the bullet myself. Doesn't matter anyhow, 'cause you ain't got the knack for takin' a bullet Doc. Y'already been shot twice now. Personal like, I think that's two times too many for a… slightly more brain than brawn kinda fella such as yourself. Fact is, probably would've been the end of ya, bein' as y'are. Guess it ain't your fault that you're more or less a pansy," Jayne commented casually, apparently unaware that rather than complimenting Simon, he was insulting him. "I been shot nigh on twenty-three times myself. I can take it, believe me," he snorted.

Simon raised his eyebrows, fighting the urge to be impressed and failing. He was impressed. Either Jayne was incredibly stupid for being shot all those twenty-three times — or he was incredibly smart for being shot only twenty-three times.

"Twenty-three?" Simon remarked. "It's amazing you're still here."

Jayne shrugged, and winced as the movement caused sharp bursts of pain to shoot through his shoulder. "Been stabbed about three dozen times too. Been in too many fist fights to rightly recall. You're good at doctorin', I'm good at fightin'. We's all born with our own specialities."

"I suppose we are."

"'Sides… River 'n' Kaylee'd give me a hurt worse'n any bullet could if I'd have let ya get all riddled with holes. I see it as the lesser o' two evils."

And at that, River appeared in the doorway, breathless but calm. Kaylee was not so. She hurried up behind River, looking panicked and troubled.

"You got shot," River said deadpan.

"I did at that," Jayne replied.

River went to Jayne's side but didn't touch him. She just stared at him with those big eyes. Her stare conveyed more than any touch could anyway. It was personal, deep, sensual. For him.

"You got shot instead of Simon," she countered.

Kaylee's eyes went wide. "Simon? Are you okay? We was over'n the scrap yard when she jus' clean ran outta there. She knew there'd been some kinda gun fight when you guys went out on the job." She went to Simon and began pulling at him, lifting his arms up, turning him around, making sure he had no bullet holes in him that he hadn't noticed yet.

"When ain't there a gun fight when we're out on the job?" Jayne said sarcastically.

Simon smiled at Kaylee. "I'm fine. Like River said, Jayne took the bullet for me. Was kind of noble really."

"Noble. Yeah. That's me all over," Jayne stated. He looked to River expectantly. "Can you sex me up now? 'Cause I got shot. I got shot saving your brother. That deserves some kind of sexin' at least."

Simon paused in his chat with Kaylee, his mouth open, eyes scandalised. He looked at the injection in his hand, wondering if he should take a few shots, and make himself forget what he'd just heard.

River just smiled sweetly. "Go to my room. You need to rest. And don't bleed on my bed."

Jayne growled and rolled his eyes. "So much for nobility," he muttered, stomping out of the infirmary.

River looked to Simon. "You're a good brother."

"Thanks," Simon said, a tad bewildered.

River kissed his cheek. "I think I'll keep you."

Simon stared after her as she flitted out of the infirmary, smiling distantly as her words conjured up a memory.

Kaylee meanwhile, just looked confused about the comment. "Did that mean somethin' I didn't quite catch?"

Simon just beamed at the beautiful mechanic beside him. "It means everything," he said simply.

While Jayne would have very much enjoyed some sexing from River, the painkiller Simon had given him had made him lethargic. He found himself sprawled on River's bed, sluggishly insisting that he was fine, when he was clearly wasn't. River simply crossed her arms and gave him an imperious look.

"Jayne, can you even see me?" she asked, a smart smile playing on her lips.

Jayne's protestations were swift and loud. "I can see you! You're right over there!" he said, gesturing in the general direction of the door – which she was actually standing about eight feet from. "Yep. There y'are. Right there. 'Cept you're just a little… wavy is all. 'Sides that I can see you perfect."

"I think not," River snorted.

Jayne's chest rumbled with idle grumbling, but River just smiled indulgently at him. She fluttered over to the bed and perched on it beside him. The tiny bee approaching the flower. Albeit, a large, and very manly flower. She slipped her skinny legs under him and sat against the wall, Jayne's head resting in her lap.

"You got shot."

"Yeah well, Mal's gotten me shot up a plenty o' times before on a job. Ain't nothin' new. He prefers it more to him gettin' shot. Funny that," Jayne murmured, his eyes blinking shut.

"I think he believes that you're at fault for all the times he's been shot," River mused.

"Girl, Mal don't need me to get hisself shot. People just look at him and they wanna shoot him. He's got one o' those faces. Looks like he's just needin' to be shot, y'know?" Jayne rambled, yawning.

"I know," River replied, a small smile on her lips.

She buried her fingers in Jayne's thick hair, kneading his scalp, lulling him to sleep with her warm hands and gentle murmurs. Not that he needed it. Simon's drugs were flowing fast and full through his system, River knew. Soon Jayne would be quite unconscious, and would remain that way for at least sixteen hours, if she was correct. And River was rarely incorrect.

She lowered her lips to the top of his head, placing a chaste kiss there. "Thank you."

"Thanks for gettin' shot?" Jayne murmured softly.

"Thanks for saving my brother's life," River answered.

He hadn't heard her though. He'd passed that barrier between waking and sleeping. He couldn't hear a word she said. But she said it anyway.

River looked down on him. "You saved his life. If you hadn't pushed him out of the way that bullet would have hit him in the throat. He would have died within five minutes," she told the sleeping Jayne, her deceptively sweet and girlish voice echoing around the room. "He would've died," she repeated slowly to herself.

Her eyes prickled with tears over the death that Simon had not suffered, but very nearly could have. If Simon hadn't been standing where he had been standing. If Jayne hadn't been standing where he'd been standing. If Simon had moved in a different direction. If Jayne had not had the quick reflexes he had.

If, if, if…

If one of a million things had happened another way, Simon would be gone. But he wasn't.

River got to keep her brother once again.

-O-

River smiled into the silence and darkness of the bridge.

No one could have guessed that Jayne would ever end up saving Simon's life, let alone take a bullet for him. River knew he'd never meant to take the hit instead, he'd merely intended to pull Simon out of the line of fire, but in any case, Jayne's twenty-fourth bullet wound had certainly earned him some points with his girlfriend's disapproving brother, accidental or not.

I think I'll keep you.

She remembered when she'd first said that to Simon. It hadn't been that day in the infirmary… no, it'd been long before that. Before Serenity, before the Academy, back when River had still been just a gifted child and Simon a gifted doctor-in-training. She had been thirteen years old and he eighteen.

Simon had grown up a lot since they were kids playing Alliance vs. Independents, but it was only since he'd begun training to be a doctor that he'd really started to change. He was more quiet, more serious and studious – if possible. He played less and worked more. He rarely enjoyed a night off from study to simply be a teenager.

As his academy's youngest trainee, he'd had a lot of pressure on him to excel. River hadn't understood that. She hadn't wanted to. She'd wanted her smart, witty and fun big brother back…

-O-

River stalked into Simon's room and ground to a halt in front of his desk. Planting her hands on her hips she glared down at her brother. "Simon! What's wrong with you?"

Simon didn't look up from his work. "Nothing's wrong with me," he said in monotone, obviously still immersed in his research.

River's eyes flared. If it was one thing she hated, it was being ignored. "Come out and play then! The Independents are crushing us Simon. You're going to lose your standing as Sergeant if you don't enter the battle soon!"

Simon rolled his eyes and shook his head, but still didn't look up. "I'm trying to work on this River! Just leave me be!" he exclaimed.

River sneered. "Simon, you're so boring since you started at the MedAcad. All you do is talk about amputations and brain transplants and stem cell harvesting!" she spat.

Simon finally looked up at her, impatience and irritation etched across his handsome young face. "River! Do you know how important this is? This counts for a tenth of my overall mark for the year! If I fail this assignment I don't get into the top three per cent! Only the doctors in the highest percentile are considered for places in Core hospitals!" he told her tensely.

"So what?" River snorted. "Oh no, you might only get into the top four per cent? How shocking! Mother and Father will disown you!" she said in a sing-song voice.

She yanked one of the encyclopaedias he'd been using out from under his elbows and dropped it on the floor with a thump. Simon's features jumped in anger and he half stood, making a grab for her. River danced away, her skirt spinning around her legs as she giggled mischievously.

Simon sat back down, but his anger only escalated as River tittered and flounced about. "They'll disown you if you don't stop this!" he shouted at her. "Do you know how much they want this for me? How much they want me to be a successful doctor? All you do prance around and correct silly random facts that mean nothing River! You have to start growing up! This is the real world now. This isn't some imaginary battlefield!"

River stopped spinning immediately. She stood frozen though her hair was still bouncing on her shoulders after her sharp turn. She scowled harshly at Simon. "It's not imaginary."

"What?"

"It's not an imaginary battlefield!" she insisted hotly. "I didn't make it up you know! There's a real war going on Simon!"

"I know that," Simon stated in a dull tone.

"No, you don't!" River retorted. She stalked over to the desk, planting her hands on it. She stared her eighteen year old brother right in the face, her big eyes wild and furious. "All you know is the MedAcad and studying and dinner parties and pleasing our parents. I think it's you who doesn't know what the real world is like Simon. The real world is a battlefield!" she insisted. Her hard expression faded and she frowned mournfully all of a sudden. "Maybe I'm just practising."

"Practising for what River?" Simon snapped.

"For when I have to go to war," River replied distantly, her eyes not looking quite at him but through him, to some far off place that only she could see.

Simon paused at the abrupt melancholy on her face, and the sadness of her words, but shook it off. It was just River's usual ridiculousness. "Of course. For when you go to war," he simpered sarcastically. "Well excuse me if I can't make it to the Front. I'm afraid I might have something that actually matters to do."

River snapped out of it, and her eyes focused back on him. "Fine. Have it your way Simon. Maybe I just need to find a new brother. Looks like the old one has turned into someone I don't particularly like anymore," she said softly, but her voice shook with anger.

"Looks like!" Simon shouted back.

River stormed out of the room then, slamming the door behind her. Simon's whole body tensed as his sister could be heard stomping all the way through the house on the way to her room. He let out a huge sigh and slumped over on his desk, head buried in his arms.

What was he supposed to do now?

He loved River, he loved her whole-heartedly, but he simply did not have the time or energy for her wild games and erratic moods anymore. River had always been a handful. Her seemingly boundless intelligence was something that needed total concentration in order to deal with. And what with school and so much study and field work and assignments and the pressure and the almost daily sermons he got from his father… it was all so much to take.

Something had to suffer in order for him to succeed. And he was sorry that it was his relationship with River. His time playing with her was treasured, but it was something he'd grown out of. He was five year older than her. There was bound to be a point where he was no longer able to play such childish games with her. And she, at thirteen, with her absolutely incomparable mind and talents… he was surprised she hadn't grown out of such things too.

Simon got up and began to pace his room.

But those thoughts didn't ring true in his head. They simply couldn't. Was being a doctor more important than being a brother? He loved medicine. And while it wasn't the only thing he was good at, not by any means, it was the only thing he really, truly enjoyed. It was his calling.

And River… River was a brat. Loud. Selfish. Sarcastic. Annoying. Attention-seeking. Childish. His sister.

Simon smiled. When he thought about it like that, the answer was so very simple. Medicine or River?

River.

He'd choose her in a heartbeat because it didn't matter that she was sarcastic and annoying and childish and a thousand other things… No, wait, in fact it did matter. Those things just contributed to his love for her. She wouldn't be River if she wasn't a loud and selfish brat.

Simon looked over at his desk which was totally covered in diagrams and holo-paedias and heavy tomes and notes and models…. And he looked at the door. Without another second's deliberation he headed out the door and went directly to River's room. He knocked but knew she wouldn't answer. Stubborn to the last.

He entered and saw her lying on her bed, her back to him. He gently closed the door behind him, and then let his gaze sweep over River's room, which was like a carnival of treasures. It was a mish-mash of all the different facets of her personality – the art easel in the corner, the ceiling-to-floor bookshelf with some of the longest novels in existence, all of which she'd read, the ballet shoes hanging from her wardrobe door, the science project on her desk, the tiny Alliance and Independent soldiers they had once made scattered all over the floor, the dozens of notebooks piled under her bed filled with stories and thoughts and ramblings that mostly made no sense.

Simon tip-toed over and knelt by her bed. "I'm sorry River," he said quietly.

There was a pause, and then—

"Sorry's not good enough Simon," River snapped, without turning to look at him.

"Then what is?" Simon asked.

"Public humiliation?" River suggested, and he didn't doubt for a minute her absolute seriousness.

"Public humiliation, hmm? Don't you humiliate me in public enough as it is?" Simon teased.

River turned over to look at him, pouting. "Apparently, it seems you could use a little more."

"Apparently so," Simon returned with a teasing grin. His expression turned serious. "River… I really am sorry. So sorry."

River nodded slightly. "I know."

Simon gave her a lopsided grin. "Are you still going to look for a new brother?"

River reached up and put her hand on his cheek. "I think I'll keep you," she said softly.

"Good," Simon whispered with a laugh. "I'd hate to be replaced."

"No one could ever replace you," River said tenderly. Then she grinned. "I mean, how could I possibly find someone who's as much of a boob as you?"

Simon's face froze in a half-scandalised, half-delighted expression. He poked her in the stomach and she reached out and whacked him in the shoulder in retaliation, her surprising strength knocking him back on the carpet.

River crossed her arms in a self-satisfied manner. "I win. Again."

Simon raised his eyebrows. "Oh? Well let's see who wins in the Battle of the Shin Yen Pass!" he exclaimed, grabbing a little Alliance soldier figure from the floor.

River laughed. "I will."

"No, you won't."

River shrugged as she lowered herself to the floor beside him. "I will," she repeated with strangely convincing certainty.

-O-

And she did win, just as she had said she would.

Impulsively, River reached across the console. In the midst of all of Wash's beloved dinosaurs were some of River's own additions to his little army of plastic creatures. She made a grab for one, and flitted from the bridge. Serenity's dark and warm corridors wrapped around River and her sleeping child, keeping them comforted as they made their solitary way to Simon's room.

She gently slid the door open. Simon was sleeping alone tonight. Both he and Kaylee, like River and Jayne, still kept separate rooms in case they just wanted some alone time at night, or were simply too tired to bother with pleasantries. River found it worked very well, especially when Jayne was in one of his rampaging-angry-man moods after a job gone wrong, or when she had one of her bad days and needed to sort out the tangled web inside her mind alone.

The low lights in Simon's room were still on, shining a golden glow over her brother's sleeping form. He was half-sitting, half-slouching in the bed, a heavy medical volume lying on his chest. He had fallen asleep reading again. River tip-toed in, smiling fondly at her brother's haphazard appearance.

"Such a boob," River whispered, shaking her head.

She knelt by his bed, so similar to how he'd once knelt by her bed all those years ago. She reached out and took the weighty book off of Simon's chest, vaguely thinking how much easier it would be to breathe now that that monstrosity wasn't pressing down on his lungs. She brushed his dark hair off of his forehead with a feather light touch.

He never even stirred.

He would hardly have known she was ever there, but for the book being moved and for the plastic figure he found on his bedside the next morning. A little Independent solider. They were no longer Alliance sergeants anymore, he supposed. They'd switched sides a long time ago.

After River had put the little figure down and slipped out of Simon's room, she went back to her own. Her bed was a mess of tangled sheets and sleeping mercenary. She slipped back into the warm cocoon, taking in the heady scent of the day gone by and promises of tomorrow and the father of her child.

In the dull blue glow that seeped into the room from the corridor outside, River's keen eyes found the shiny, almost unnoticeable scar on Jayne's shoulder, just above that tattoo that she adored and abhorred all at once. She propped herself up on her elbow and ran her fingertips over the mark, studying it.

"I am awake y'know."

The soft, rumbling voice didn't surprise her. "I know," she replied softly.

Jayne didn't even open his eyes. His mouth merely tugged into a smile that only River and the darkness could see.

River lay down by Jayne and closed her eyes. Neither of them was touching one another, but they could feel each other's presence and warmth. Before she fell into that dizzy, murky black of sleep, she felt his hand come to rest low on her stomach.

River smiled into the pillow and murmured to herself. "I think I'll keep you too."

-O-