Warning: Insane Quatre...that's about it.

TEA PARTY

Quatre flopped onto the sofa and reached for the remote in it's usual place, on the arm of the sofa.

It wasn't there. After a few seconds of searching, he realised he was sitting on it, switched on the TV, and began his second favourite past time, channel flicking.

Usually, this cheered him up immensely, but the fact that there was nothing good on TV, plus the fact that he had been left alone in the house, kinda spoiled the whole fun of the game.

Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei had left him to go shopping. It was a five man job, but they had insisted that Quatre stayed at home, as he made them do everything in order and only buy what they needed. To them, it was no fun, and said that from now on, they'd buy groceries without him.

Quatre sighed, and switched the TV off. He thought for a minute, before realising he hadn't had any tea in at least an hour and went into the kitchen to get one.

He opened the first cupboard, searching for the herbal tea. Seeing that there wasn't any, he went to the next cupboard, for the box of tea in there. It wasn't.

In a panicked craze, he manically pulled out every drawer, looked in every box, even in the refrigerator, but no tea was to be found.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!" He screamed. "THERE'S NO TEA!!!!"

He sighed again as he passed out on the kitchen floor.

Quatre slowly opened his eyes and found himself sprawled out on the kitchen floor.

He couldn't remember anything that had happened in the last hour of two, which made him confused to say the least.

"Oh well." He sighed, to no one in particular. "I guess I've woken up in stranger places. Perhaps I'll remember when I have a cup of tea."

He went to the cupboard to find the tea he kept in there. Upon finding it absent, he repeated the same crazed search he'd performed just a few minutes before.

"NOOOO!!!! There's no tea anywhere!" He wailed.

Quatre had never been in this sort of situation before. When you're the youngest in a rich family of over twenty nine, you're used to getting what you want. But here, that wasn't really an option.

He paced the room for a few minutes, trying to keep calm.

"Ok," He told himself. "You don't have any tea. You need tea to keep you sane, but that's ok, you can just find something else to drink, like, COFFEE!!!!"

He searched through all the cupboards for the third time, this time looking for Duo's decaff. To his horror, there wasn't any of that either.

"IS IT FRIDAY THE 13^TH OR SOMETHING??!!!!" He screamed again. "NOT ONLY IS THERE NO TEA, I CAN'T EVEN HAVE A CHEAP ALTERNATIVE!!!!!!!!! AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He picked up the nearest object, which happened to be a frying pan, and smashed it straight through the window.

He watched the glass shards fall to the ground, momentarily disturbed by his behaviour, before his crazed mind returned.

"Oh well." He shrugged.

He continued to smash the rest of windows, followed by the cabinets, the shelf, the banisters....................

Twenty minutes later, Quatre lay sprawled out on his bedroom floor, totally exhausted by his violent outburst. But even though his body was calm, his mind was in overload.

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout, here's my handle, here's my spout...." He sang, nodding his head to the beat.

"When Master Quatre begins to shout, tip me up and POUR ME OUT!!!!"

................................................

Heero stepped through the already open door and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight that greeted him.

"Who would have thought that mayonnaise would cost so much!" Duo ranted.

"Shut up you braided baka." Heero said. "I'll think we've been burgled."

Slowly, the four of them moved into the hallway.

"Man, they really trashed the place." Wufei said softly.

"But they wouldn't have dared come in here if someone was...." Trowa trailed off. "Oh God."

"Quatre was here!" They said in unison.

Suddenly, they heard a crash from upstairs.

"Sssh," Duo whispered. "I think they're still here."

The four pilots slowly moved up the stairs, trying to step over the broken glass everywhere, so as not to make a sound.

"They're in Quatre's room." Heero mouthed.

As they moved beside the door, Duo let out a death warrior scream, did a back-flip into the room and prepared to face the enemy.

"Ah, Mr Maxwell, you're just in time!"

The others piled into the room.

"Oh, more visitors! Good to see you all!"

"QUATRE!!!!!"

In a way, the sight before Heero, Duo, Wufei and Trowa was much worse than burglars.

Quatre had gathered most of the kitchen utensils in his room, had arranged them in a circle and 'dressed' them in either a hat or some sort of jewellery. (And where he'd got that from is something the others didn't intend to ask.)

All of the tea cups, the tea pot and sugar and milk pots were in front on Quatre on the ground. Quatre himself was sitting cross-legged on the floor, pouring non-existent tea into the cups, and wearing a pink gingham dress.

"Quatre? I know not of the one you call Quatre. I am the Tea Master, and all of you are welcome to my party!" He said, in a sort of English, Shakespearian voice.

"Quatre, snap out of it!" Duo yelled. "This does nothing for you're reputation!"

Quatre, (no, sorry, the Tea Master.) Handed Duo a cup and grinned.

"You seem a little stressed my dear friend, this will help to..."

He was interrupted by Duo slapping him hard across his face.

"Ow!" He yelled, finally snapping out of his trance. "Duo, that really hurt!"

"It was for your own good!" Heero said.

"What happened you guys?" Quatre asked. He looked down. "And why am I wearing a dress?"

"You tell us!" Trowa grinned. He obviously quite liked the sight of his blonde haired

friend in pink.

"Something to do with tea, maybe?" Wufei asked, realising that he probably knew Quatre too well.

"Oh crap!" He yelled, suddenly remembering. "THERE IS NO TEA!!!!"

Duo managed to catch him as he nearly passed out again.

"Get a grip buddy!" He said. "You could have just gone down the block to the convenience store for tea!"

Quatre just stared at him blankly for a second.

"Oh yeah, didn't think of that!"

One week later, Trowa woke up to find a note by his bed.

Trowa,

Gone to find Heero. He ran off in horror at midnight after Relena asked if he'd marry her. Back soon.

D, Q and W.

Trowa sighed. He got up and went to the bathroom to change. Fifteen seconds later, he came running back into his bedroom in a crazed panic.

"AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!" He screamed. "THERE'S NO HAIR SPRAY!"

THE END