Disclaimer: I don't own anything about or relating to "Drake & Josh." If I did, would I be writing this fanfiction?
A/N: Last chapter. I really don't know how to extend this story in particular beyond what it is. And the end is what I honestly think would happen.
Josh was annoyed. He'd tried to get past this, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop thinking about Drake refusing to admit to anything. Not any feelings, not the kiss. Maybe Drake really didn't remember. But how did you forget something like that? Josh knew he himself couldn't forget it. Then again, Drake was in such a loopy state that it might have been possible that he did forget. That meant it didn't mean anything to Drake then.
What was his deal anyway? Would it be that bad to admit that it happened? Maybe he wanted to see if he felt anything and figured if it had scared Josh he could just claim it was the painkillers? But then, if he had felt something, he would have wanted to talk about it. But Drake never was one to talk about his feelings. Maybe he felt nothing and decided to deny that it ever happened.
But, if it really was the pain medication, that was understandable. Why couldn't Drake just admit that he'd done it, say it was the painkillers, and move on? No. He chose to deny it. To Drake, nothing had happened, and that hurt Josh.
Drake walked into the bedroom while Josh was typing away at his computer. Drake silently went over to his refrigerator and pulled out a can of Mocha Cola. He had been a bit annoyed because of Josh constantly bugging him about the kiss. He still said nothing as he sat down on the couch and turned on the television.
Josh sighed. Now Drake wasn't going to talk at all apparently. Drake turned on "Celebrities Under Water" and continued not to say anything. He turned up the volume a bit. Josh got annoyed with that. He was trying to write a paper.
"Drake," said Josh. "Do you mind turning that down? I have a paper due soon, and I need to concentrate."
Drake rolled his eyes and shut off the television. He picked up a guitar magazine and began to flip through it, still keeping silent.
"What is it with you?" asked Josh.
"Good question Josh," Drake responded. "I could ask you the same thing. Everytime we talk, you ask me if I remember kissing you, and everytime I give you the same answer. No, Josh, I don't remember it happening. Why does it bother you that I don't remember? Even if I did it, it was probably those painkillers."
"Yeah, that's what I figured," said Josh.
"So can we please drop it?" Drake asked.
"I can't," Josh said. He stopped. If Drake didn't feel that way about him, then he felt like an idiot spilling something like that. "I remember it even if you don't. It was just kinda..."
"Weird?" Drake asked.
"Sure," Josh sighed. He couldn't say what he really felt.
"Did I really creep you out?" Drake asked. He sounded concerned.
"N-no," Josh said.
"I didn't?" Drake asked. "I guess you could figure it was the painkillers, though."
"Sure," Josh responded again. This was going nowhere. Besides, Drake obviously didn't remember or didn't feel the same. "I'm sorry to ask you this again, but are you absolutely positive you do not remember that kiss?"
"Josh, I've told you about fifty times now. No. I don't remember. Now would you get off my back about it? If you know why I did it, then why bug me? Why is it so important to you to know whether I do remember or not?"
"It's...I just...there's no reason," Josh said. "I just wondered if you did. Then maybe we could have a good laugh about this later."
"Well, I don't," Drake stated. He got up and began to leave the bedroom. He stopped at the door, feeling guilty. Did this matter that much to Josh? Had he made him feel weird? Maybe he should...Drake sighed. He turned back around. "Josh, I haven't been honest. I do remember that."
"You do?" Josh asked, brightening a bit. "Then why say you didn't?"
"I think I wanted to tell myself that I hadn't done it because I like girls so much. I mean, come on, if any of them found that out, my reputation would sink."
"I guess so," Josh replied, feeling his heart sink.
"Sorry I lied to you, man, but it was kinda weird, and I didn't want it getting out. It was definitely just the painkillers, though."
"Oh, okay," said Josh, although he had been hoping for more.
"Trust me," said Drake. "I'm definitely not gay, so you don't have to worry about me being attracted to you if that was freaking you out."
"Oh," said Josh. "No, of course not. I mean, you, Drake Parker, gay? Ha ha. That's hilarious."
Deep down, Josh was hurting. He felt something toward Drake, and Drake didn't feel the same way. For some reason, it felt even worse than when Josh had had crushes on girls at school and learned they didn't like him that way. Why? Did this really mean that much to Josh? Of course it did. They were his feelings, and he didn't know what to do with them. Why did it hurt this bad?
A few days later, Drake walked up to the candy counter at the Premiere with his new girlfriend.
"You know my brother, Josh," said Drake.
"Oh, yeah, hi," said the girl, shaking Josh's hand.
"Nice to meet you," Josh said. He sighed. The kiss hadn't meant anything to Drake. At least, it didn't based on what Josh was seeing right now.
"Can I get two Mocha Colas and a medium popcorn?" Drake asked.
"Sure," said Josh. He moved robotically. He really wished he had tried to pry more information out of Drake, but it was apparent the Drake didn't feel the same way that Josh had about that kiss. Josh handed Drake the snacks. Drake noticed his brother's strange behavior.
"Something wrong?" Drake asked.
"Oh, no," said Josh. "It's fine. It's just been a long day."
"Oh, okay," said Drake. He took advantage of Josh's mood to get away without paying for the popcorn and soda.
Josh watched Drake walk away from the candy counter with his girlfriend. Josh sighed and slowly wiped the counter. Drake absolutely refused to accept the idea that he was gay. He wouldn't even admit there was a possibility he was bi either. Then again, Drake was very high on the social ladder. He wanted to keep his popularity. He was well known among the female population of Belleview High for his good looks and musical talents. Who would want to give that up?
Yes, who would want to give all that up for a meaningful relationship? Not Drake, and it was just because that meaningful relationship would be with another guy. Forget about real love. Drake would rather fabricate a relationship with a girl just so he could stay popular. Drake Parker didn't care for anyone but himself.
But, what if it was just Josh? What if Drake had only finally admitted to kissing him just to keep him quiet? Maybe it had just been the painkillers. If so, that was even more disappointing to Josh. It took a loopy state for someone else to show a loving emotion toward him? Was Mindy really the only one who actually liked him for who he was? He thought about the girls he dated in the past. There was Susan. Well, he technically didn't date her. She was Drake's girlfriend, but what if she had done all that just to make Drake jealous? And why couldn't a nice girl like him? If she really had liked him, she would have talked to both brothers before the situation got out of hand. Then there was Allison, the teen model. The only reason she liked Josh was because of his lucky shirt. No, Mindy was the only one who ever really cared about him that way, unless Drake did, but he denied the fact that the kiss meant anything. He simply said it was the painkillers and that Josh should stop focusing on it. The problem was, Josh couldn't stop focusing on it because it did mean something to him.
Josh wasn't sure whether to continue his relationship with Mindy or not. She was nice and caring, but she wasn't Drake. Was Josh just going to live a lie? Maybe it wasn't just Drake. Maybe there would be other men. Maybe he could get past what he actually wanted with Drake.
Josh sighed. No, he wouldn't break up with Mindy. He still cared about her. He wasn't going to put his life on hold waiting for something that would never come, considering how stubborn Drake was. No, Josh would be happy. He wasn't going to let Drake's selfishness ruin it.
But Drake had admitted to the kiss, finally, and that one moment was what left Josh happy. It meant that if he truly did remember, then it had meant something to Drake. In that one moment where Drake had admitted what he'd done, there was hope.
A/N: Yep, that is how I think it would end in this situation. Some things are open ended, but remember, you've been reading through Josh's eyes, so some questions would be unanswered in this type of ending. I hope you enjoyed.