Oh My Gawd
Chapter Five

A/N: Yes, I think I'm back. (Glances at shirt)
In uh, green. And I haven't updated this
story (or anything for that matter) in
foreverrr. And another thing.
This chapter is dedicated to the oh-so
disgusting crocs.
(No offense to anyone who owns a pair.)

--

"Hey guys, check this out."

Two-Bit was pointing at his feet, which were covered by a brand new pair of... were those even shoes? They looked suspiciously like cheese, but only because they were yellow and had multiple holes in them. Why Two-Bit had went and bought (or stole, for that matter) a pair of shoes with fucking holes in them was a mystery to the gang, who were now staring down at his feet. Two-Bit however, looked quite proud of his new attire.

"Why would you want shoes with holes in them, Two-Bit?" Ponyboy asked, tearing his eyes away from the shoes to look at his face. Did he just steal them for the hell of it or something? Because honestly, Ponyboy was hoping so. Maybe he was going to ditch them in a pond later? After all, if he didn't, he was likely to get beat up just because of them.

"Ah, they're comfortable. I actually paid for 'em, too." His proud grin had widened, causing Ponyboy to shaked his head in disbelief. He was serious. And what was worse was that he had actually spent money on the mostrosities. Honestly, words could not describe how extremely revolting the things were.

"What if it rains? The water will get through the holes," Dally pointed out before taking a long drag of his cigarette.

Suddenly, Darry and Johnny came outside to see what all the fuss was about (Steve had fallen on the ground laughing hysterically, and had soon been joined by Soda). But as soon as they saw Two-Bit's shoes, in unsion, they both screamed; "OMGAWD!"

"THOSE ARE THE UGLIEST MOTHER FUCKERS I'VE EVER SEEN!" Johnny shrieked, sounding... delighted, even though he was quite the opposite. And then he began to jump up and down screaming; "GAY SHOES! GAY SHOES!" repeatedly. Non-stop.

This went on for about an hour or two, the rest of the greasers just standing there staring at him... jumping up and down... yelling. It was a wonder they didn't go insane. Of course, after the hour (or two), Johnny still wouldn't shut up, so, seeing as there was no other way, Soda walked up to him and... POKED HIS STOMACH! (instert horrified gasps here).

Instantly, he fell onto the cold, hard pavement and began laughing hysterically. Johnny had always been incredibly ticklish.

"GAHHHH!" he shrieked, after realizing that his head was right beside Two-Bit's shoes. And as a result to this, he clamped his hands over his ears, shut his eyes and started to roll on the ground repeating; "Gay shoes" over and over again. ...Again.

While he was doing this, Bob Sheldon and Randy Anderson walked up the driveway and struck a pose. "Look at our shoes," Bob said, batting his eyelashes at Ponyboy. "Aren't they like, totally hot?"

"Like, totally?" Randy added, flipping non-exsistent hair over his shoulder.

Ponyboy however, just slowly backed away, looking truly horrified. Were Bob and Randy acting gay, or was it just him? But Two-Bit however, seemed to have other ideas. He snapped his fingers and instantly, long, luxurious hair grew down to his mid-back. Flipping it over his shoulder, much like Randy had done, he smirked. "Like, totally. I mean, they come in multi colours!" Squealing in excitement, Randy, Bob and him joined hands and began jumping up and down all together.

"Like, Dallas," Randy said suddenly, as if just noticing him for the first time. "BUY SOME CROCS, THEY'RE NOT HARD LIKE ROCKS. THEY'RE CUSHY AND SQUISHY AND MAGICALLY GUSHY SO DALLAS BUY SOME CROCSSSSSSS!"

After this little song was finished, Dally just shrugged. "Whatever, man." Then a pair of crocs magically appeared on his feet, and he began dancing around gleefully with Two-Bit, Randy and Bob, while Johnny's chant of "Gay shoes" grew louder and louder, until soon all of the gang, minus him, was parading around with them, all wearing crocs on their feet.

Suddenly, in mid-chant, Johnny stood up.

"Aw well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

A pair of crocs appeared on his feet as well, and he joyfully joined the little parade of croc-wearing socs and greasers. Until of course, a coment fell from the sky, squishing them all, and their revolting shoes to boot.