Sorry if I didn't make it clear in the last chapter, but the dialogue in bold was James/Bob talking to each in whispers that weren't picked up by the mics. Lucky you, you are the only people to listen to it!!!

'Welcome back to part one of the League of Extraordinary Evil Ultimate Evilness Competition, hosted by (a severely spell-charred) James and myself. Our first Event is the Magical Creature Face-off!!!!'

'We're at the pool now, where our two competitions have chosen to race.'

'Each of our competitors have their own 'evil' creature, and they will race 100 metres. The first to finish will be the winner.'

'Starting us off, we have Jack Sparrow and THE KRAKEN!!!!!!!'

Applause from all the audience…(which is a surprising number, considering the competition is taking place in pinkalarmclock's pool and the garden isn't THAT big)

'The Kraken??? That doesn't belong to him….'

'Bob, just announce gulp Snape.'

'Facing them, we have Snape and the GIANT SQUID!!!!!!'

Applause from the audience…applause from the audience…ok, no applause from the audience…

'Err, what happened?'

'They saw him trying to Avada Kedavra me last night.'

'What do we do???'

'Who cares? He got me right on the bum: he doesn't deserve any clapping'

Snape (who is sitting on the poolside next to the squid) looks around with an evil look and whips his wand from his robes. Wait, that's a teddy….

'Where is he going with this, Bob??'

'Shut up or he might kill us. He has a scary look in his eyes.'

Ah-ha, there's the wand…. and he's holding it to the throat of the bear???

'Clap, or the teddy gets it.' He says, very calmly.

Gasp. Then applause. Lots of it. The teddy and the wand go away.

'Yeah….errr……three-two-one-Go!!!'

The Kraken and the squid start swimming really really fast, with Snape and Jack sitting on top of them.

'The crowd's going wild!'

'Looks like it's going to be a close call..'

'The kraken's pulled ahead…'

'No, the squid's in lead..'

'What's that Jack Sparrow's whispering??'

Jack is whispering in what (we hope...) is the Kraken's ear and they stop.

'Whatever it was, he can't have liked it…'

'Wait, what's happening now?? '

Suddenly the Kraken disappeared……..

Snape does his evil laugh and him and the squid go even faster.

'They're getting close…'

'Only twenty or so metres to go…. sure-fire win for the S squad!'

'WTF??? S Squad????'

'What? I think it's pretty clever actually….'

'……'

'You know, Snape with the Squid…S Squad???'

'……'

' sigh Never mind…'

'Wait, so where's the Kraken?'

Just then the Kraken surfaces at the far end of the pool just in front of the 'S Squad'. The 'S Squad' are going to fast to stop and barrel right into the Kraken's mouth. It swallows and burps.

'…….'

'Well, that was…. unexpected'

A/N Thanx to Captain Oz for the squid/kraken idea.

Sorry it took me forever to post this, but my inspiration is nil point (a bit of French for you there!) and Alonzo had eloped (hehe Thorn). Luckily, I think everything's back now!

Teddy idea is something to do with South Park...I think.. (???)

Thanx to all my reviewers!

Em xXx