Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. I do own a bottle of Clorox, however.

Warnings: Kind of disturbing.

Cookie Monster

"Ken-chan!"

Yachiru bounded towards him, zanpakuto in hand. She'd only recently learned to summon it and they'd been spending a large portion of each day in training. It had been a frustrating process for both of them. Though she seemed to take to swordsmanship easily enough, Yachiru was still just a kid, and a stubborn one at that. She didn't take criticism well at all and one reprimand could send her into an hours-long pout. That kind of pissed Kenpachi off, but there was no arguing with Yachiru when she was acting a brat. Since he valued his time –somewhat- and his eardrums –highly- Kenpachi had taken to rewarding her when she did a good job instead of scolding her for a bad one. The positive reinforcement seemed to work well… too well, actually. It was, in fact, the reason she was currently yanking on his pants like a devil possessed.

"Ken-chan! Can I have my cookie now?" Yachiru beamed up at him with wide eyes that were not half as guileless as they seemed.

Kenpachi frowned. "No," he said bluntly.

A look of shock. The yanking ceased. "No? Why not?"

"You only get a cookie if ya did good. Ya didn't do good. No cookie."

She stamped her foot. "I did so do good! I was 'fficient 'an quick 'an everything!"

He scoffed. "Guess again, runt. You were downright sloppy. That ain't how I showed ya. No cookie."

Yachiru scrunched her face up and made a low growling noise in the back of her throat. Kenpachi had seen her make that same expression right before she walloped a raccoon that had stolen her dinner. It had been her own damn fault for leaving it lying on a log, anyway, and that fact had only served to make her angrier. If there was one thing Yachiru couldn't tolerate it was her own insufficiencies and she tended to attack whatever it was that pointed them out.

Sure enough…

"No fair!" she spat, and leaped straight into the air, leveling a slap at his face. He blocked her easily enough, grabbing her by the wrist and holding her up, letting her feet dangle yards above the ground.

"Let me ask you this, then," he glared. "How many strokes didja use on that last pass?"

"Nine," she pouted, kicking furiously.

"Nine," he repeated. "And how many shouldja have used?"

A sullen pause. "…six."

"Six what?"

"Six, tops."

"Yeah. Six, tops. So why don't ya get a cookie?"

She stopped struggling and turned her face, refusing to look at him.

"Hey." He shook her a little. "Why don't ya get a cookie?"

"'Cuz I was sloppy," she admitted resentfully.

"Damn right you were. Training ain't a joke, kid. When I tell you ya get two strokes a target I mean it. You gotta earn your cookie. Understand?"

He lowered her to the ground and released her arm. He'd expected her to scamper off like a ninny, but instead she planted her feet and stared up at him determinedly.

"Next time I'll definitely earn a cookie," she informed him, pointing her zanpakuto at him as if in affirmation. "I'll do it in two hits! No problem!"

He grunted. "You better. Those bandits ain't worth more than two strikes apiece, anyway."

-end-

Oh, Kenpachi! Rewarding Yachiru for efficiently killing with cookies! You old scamp, you!