Just Enough

Author's Note: So here's my next multi-chapter fic. I'm still playing around with style and exactly where I want the plot to go. For the record it's Mer/Der, but I might take me a while to get there. All italicized text is Meredith's thoughts. As always, I hope this is different from the other fics out there, and I hope you enjoy. Review, please, it seriously makes my day.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Meredith slams the cool shot glass back down on the wooden bar. She's been sitting her all night. She was here the night before that and the night before that. Some might call her an alcoholic, but she prefers broken.

It's been two weeks since prom night. Two weeks of avoiding Derek. Two weeks since she broke up with Finn when he followed her home after prom. Two weeks seem like forever.

Tonight she forgets about all of that and just thinks about the numbing feeling of tequila running down the back of her throat. She sits there alone. Occasionally talking to Joe, but the majority of the time she just stares into blank space. It is better this way.

"Is this seat taken?" a man asks Meredith. She snaps her head around and sees Mark Sloan standing next to her. She shakes her head no. She is on her sixth or seventh shot; hell she had lost count after three. She is far beyond the point where she could muster the energy to protest.

Mark looks visibly shaken.

Should I ask him what's wrong? I mean do I even want to know.

"Can I have a single malt scotch," Mark orders and then looks to her, "and a shot of tequila?"

The pair does not speak again until Joe sits the drinks in front of them.

"Thanks," Meredith says as she takes the shot glass to her lips. It goes down smooth and easy, or maybe it didn't, but maybe it is the pain of the harsh liquor that Meredith likes so much. With her liquid courage Meredith finally asks a question she's not so sure she wants the answer to.

"What happened," she asks as she turns to face Mark.

"The same old shit."

"Care to elaborate?"

"She knows. She knows about you and Derek."

"What do you mean?"

"She knows about you two at prom."

Fuck.

Mark continues, "She called me hysterical. She's so unhappy but she refuses to give up. She's going to let him keep hurting her."

Oh my God, I have to go. I have to go.

"Mark, I…"

"No, Meredith I don't blame you. We're one and the same. I mean, you can't help whom you fall in love with. I surprised that Derek had the balls to have sex with you with her right down the hall."

Meredith laughs although she's unsure why. "Compared to you who had the balls to have sex with his wife in his bed."

Mark takes long sip of his scotch and looks at her.

"Why do we let them do this to us. I mean for I flew across the country to be ignored. I could love her. I mean really love her."

Neither of them notices as Joe sets a fresh round of drinks in front of them until Joe pushes the drinks closer to them.

"I have no idea," Meredith says as she takes her shot. "Right about now I'm just waiting around. I can't move on, but I can't be with him. So I guess I'm just stuck."

"We're both stuck."

"I'm tired of being stuck," Meredith says flatly.

"Joe can we have 2 shots of tequila, please."

"Welcome to my world," Meredith says as the world begins to get a little bit blurry.

None of this really matters anyway.

gagagagagagagagagaga

His hands fumble as they try to undo the tiny buttons on her shirt. She kisses him hard on the mouth. He tastes like tequila. She helps him take off her shirt. He runs his hands along her tiny frame. His touch is softy but rough. She pulls his shirt over his bed.

God, he has a perfect body.

He kisses her on her jaw line. She turns away from him and lies on the bed. She lays on the bed clad in nothing but her underwear. He unhooks his belt and pulls of his pants. He climbs on top of Meredith. She removes her underwear and he slides off his boxers. In one swiftly motion they are one.

Wow. This is surreal.

"Derek," Meredith screams as she comes underneath his heavy body. She opens her eyes and sees Mark holding himself over her still moving.

"I'm sorry…" she begins.

"Don't be. We're here together now, but we both know we want to be some place else."

He fills me like Derek. His touch is like Derek's. If this is all I can have this has to be enough.

Meredith shifts her weight to the side and climbs on top of Mark. She kisses him deeply.

"Ok, lets be here now." She writhes her body in the same way that used to drive Derek insane. Mark moans loudly as she feels him spasm under her.

They aren't so different after all.

Meredith climbs off him and lies on the other side of the bed. Mark sighs and grabs her into his chest.

This feels night. I just want to be held, and he's doing that for me now. Maybe… No. I'm still drunk. I'll deal with this in the morning.

The two doctors fall asleep in each other arms. Neither of them stir when Meredith's phone rings at 4 am. The caller ID flashes brightly the name—Derek.