It's a crack fic. Yeah. I made it up a long long long time ago. So here it is.

Chapter 1

Demyx And His Horrible, Bloody Revenge!

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes." Demyx's neck was extremely long, Saix noticed bitterly. He was actually able to lean over around Axel and whisper said song into his ear. About a billion and one FUCKING times. Saix had turned to him once, quickly, while the Superior was addressing Larxene on her...well, slutty behavior, claiming to have bedded everyone on Destiny Island that would pay her.
"Shut up."

"No."

"Why don't you bother Axel or Marluxia or Luxord?"

"Because Axel's my friend, Marluxia will try to kiss me, and Luxord'll steal my money for gambling. Remember last time?" Saix turned back around and the singing continued.

Finally, after three FUCKING hours at the meeting, Saix had had enough.

And thus he went berserk on Demyx.

"MUST KILL THE MULLET MAN!"

"SHIT! SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!" Demyx and Saix were running through the halls of Castle Oblivion, Saix leaving destruction in his path. Finally, after about an hour and a half of merciless destruction and Demyx and Saix screaming bloody murder, Xemnas was able to calm Saix down. He turned to Demyx and glared.

"My office. Now."

"Since when do you have an office?"

"Since loud, obnoxious teenagers came into the Organization and started pissing me off. Follow me." Demyx looked pleadingly at Axel and Axel looked at him like he was crazy.

"Fine." He hung his head and followed Xemnas down to a room at the end of the hallway.

"Damn, and you had me believing you had an office." Demyx said pointedly.

"Shut up. You'd believe anything. In." Xemnas was not a happy camper.

Then again, he never was. He couldn't be. Demyx stood. Xemnas pointed to a chair.

"Sit." Demyx sat on the chair and Xemnas sat on his bed facing the chair.

"So."

"So." Demyx repeated.

"I believe a punishment is in order. What you did was totally unacceptable."

"What about Saix? He's the one who let it get to him!"

"You provoked him."

"So, he's off scot free?"

"Yes." Demyx was now pissed off.

"It's just because you and he are fucking is why." Xemnas grabbed Demyx by the shirt.

"And now you want to fuck me, too." He said with a grin. Well, that didn't sit too well with Mr. Superior, so he threw Demyx across the room. Demyx crashed against the wall and cut his arm.

"What the hell was that for, Xemnas? Are you crazy?" Xemnas didn't answer. He just picked Demyx up by the shirt again.

"I think some time isolated in your room WITHOUT music and WITHOUT your sitar. I'll let you out when I see fit, and then I'll send you on some missions."

"Not if I kick your ass first." Xemnas laughed.

"Yeah, like that's going to happen. Perhaps this'll knock some sense into you and get you to BEHAVE. Dissmissed!" Demyx left to go find Axel. Axel was standing outside his room, located next to Demyx's. When Axel saw him, he ran over.

"So, what did the Evil One do?"

"Solitary confinement followed by community service." Axel winced.

"Damn. That bad, huh?"

"Yup." Axel sighed.

"Dude. We cannot let that happen. We must destroy. Let's go to Vexy's lab thing." The two of them sneaked down. They were suddenly surrounded by test tubes, strange vials filled with equally strange liquid.

"Take it all?" Demyx asked, turning to Axel.

"Yup." The two grabbed as much as they could carry and opened a portal back to Demyx's room.

"M'kay. We'll put a little bit of each in one vial and put it in whatever Xemnas is eating this evening." They did so.

That night, at the dinner table, they tried hard not to laugh after each bite Xemnas took.

"What's so funny?" Marluxia asked. Demyx turned to Axel.

"Betcha fifteen munny that it turns him straight and Marluxia and Saix throw another little bitch fit." They both cracked.

"Dammit, Demyx, I thought I taught you a lesson!" Xemnas yelled, pounding his fist on the table. Saix smirked. Demyx went beyond cocky at this point.

"I think your bitch likes how dominant you act, Mr. Superior, sir." Giggles erupted from some of the members.

"THAT IS IT! I AM THROWING YOU OFF THE TOP FLOOR OF CASTLE OBLIVION, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Xemnas screamed, standing. Then he got this funny look on his face.

"On second thought, I'll let Saix handle you. I'm retiring early tonight. I am not feeling too well." Demyx and Axel waited for him to leave, then looked at each other and high-fived.

"W00T!" They cried. Saix glared.

"What did you do to him?"

"What, worried about your lover, Mr. Elf man..."

"What in the HELL did you do?" Vexen finally came up from his lab.

"I think I know what they did. I just don't know how it'll affect Xemnas."

"Don't tell me that they..." Marluxia started.

"They took most of my chemicals and probably mixed them. Problem is, my memory isn't doing me any good lately, and I don't know what they took." Saix turned back Axel and Demyx.

"Is this true? Remember, I might go easier on you if you tell the truth." Axel turned to Demyx. Everyone looked at them.

"It's not like you can do anything about it." Demyx said with a grin.

"WHAT?" Everyone cried. Saix rubbed his temples.

"Go."

"But what about..."

"Just GO." They obliged.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Carson Davis thought he was waking up in his bed. He got up, ran to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, and went downstairs to drink out of the milk carton and eat out of the cereal box. Same routine every morning. Then he'd get dressed and go to school and do something to get him into detention for the tenth consecutive week. Eighth grade was hard on a guy, you know? When he walked downstairs, he started walking down the halls.

Then his brain actually woke up and he realized he wasn't in his house.

"Holy shit! We ain't in Kansas anymore, dude." Carson ran his fingers through his silvery hair that his mom killed him for dying.

"Where the hell am I?" He asked himself, amazed. He started back down the hallway until he found an open door to a kitchen.

"Food!" He exclaimed, and he walked right in.

Well, he didn't count on Xigbar to be in there doing what was on HIS agenda for the morning.

"Dude, can I have a turn?"

"Sure, little dude." He looked up.

"HOLY SHIT! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? HOW DID YOU GET IN? ARE YOU A FRIEND OF SORA'S OR SOMETHING?" Carson blinked.

"Uh, no. My name's Carson Davis. I don't know how I got in. I know I'm not dreaming, though. I just went to bed last night, and BOOM! I'm in the land of black-cloaked, eyepatch people. Who the hell is Sora?" Xigbar blinked.

"Dude. Dude. Dude. How did...? Who could...? This place doesn't even EXIST..." Then he looked Carson up and down and this, my friends, is when he finally got it.

"XEMNAS! HOLY CRAP! LITTLE SUPERIOR DUDE!"

"What the hell? Are you mental or something?"

"Dude. You don't remember becoming a Nobody?"

"Nope. A Nobody? Dude, I'm one of the most popular guys in the eighth grade at Pierce Middle School." Xigbar thought.

"Wait, what year is it, little Superior dude?"

"1991." Xigbar stuck his head out the door.

"MEETING!" Carson spied the gun-arrows.

"Cool! Weapons!"

"DON'T TOUCH THOSE!" A tired looking group of people, all wearing black pajamas, arrived at the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Vexen asked sharply. His eyes fell upon Carson. Carson stood, adorned in a T Shirt and boxer shorts.

"Um, what's with you people and black? Black's depressing." Saix's head appeared from the back of the group.

"Where's Xemnas?" Everyone started babbling.

"Yeah, that's what I would like to know." Vexen said. Everyone looked at Carson and immediately got it.

"Oh, my God." Marluxia said, turning to Demyx and Axel.

"Look what you guys did."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--oo-o-o--oo-

I know. Crap. The next chapter might be better. REVIEW! And flames will be used to burn Amanda's house down.